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Hamish was sitting in his chair and his eyes followed Vera, when she stood up and went to look out of the window. She was all fidgety today, and he couldn’t find a reason why. Everything was running smooth in the office for once. Last week, they had to deal with new acolytes – that was a term for a fresh meat in the office – because for some reason, they decided it would be very funny to ruin judge Graham’s car. Vera hated him with fierce too, because he apparently dedicated his career to turning people advocated by Blue Rose down. The Bar Association was already after him, though, and ruining his car wasn’t something they would be happy to see. Vera was furious and immediately kicked them out. Not that he would do otherwise, if he was the one in charge.
„Vera, come on. Something is off today, I can see it. What’s wrong?“ he finally asked, when his boss and lover, or what they actually were, moved again, this time from the window to a little washstand in the corner of her office, to wash her hands.
„Nothing,“ she snapped.
„Sure,“ he retorted with ironic voice. „I don’t know if you noticed, but you can’t hide that from me anymore. And to be honest, I think you never could.“ After eight months of being fuck buddies, or lovers, or friends with benefits, or pair - he really wasn't sure which it was - the real Vera was exposed to him more than ever.
He expected another outburst from her, but to his surprise, she just sighed and slumped her shoulders.
„You‘re right. Sorry. It’s just… Today…“ Vera lifted her eyes from the washstand and met his. „I don’t want to tell you here. Too much people, and some of them pretty obnoxious.“ Hamish knew who she was talking about. Elizabeth Kepler, one of the attorneys and member of Gnostic council, was probably the biggest bitch he’d ever seen.
„Okay,“ he exhaled. „It’s almost 3PM. Let me take you home, or let’s have some late lunch somewhere, and then you can tell me what’s going on.“
„It’s going to be obvious.“
„I’m pretty sure everybody knows we are doing… whatever we‘re doing… together, Vera,“ Hamish pointed out, and she glared at him.
„I fucking hate when you are always right,“ she hissed. The blonde guy grinned.
„Right back at you. But fine, I’m gonna leave first. I’ll start the car and you can come down later, ok?“
Vera seemed to think about it for a second, and then shook her head no.
„You know what? Fuck it. Fuck them. Half of this office is in some sort of relationship, and I don’t care about Kepler and her stupid comments. Let’s go.“ She grabbed her purse, and headed out from the office. Hamish followed in awe. This woman was really going to be his death one day, but man, what a sweet, gorgeous death…
He wasn’t exactly sure how they got into the garage, but everyone was definitely staring, and he could almost hear Randall’s and Jack’s comments. But did he care? Well, maybe a little, but obviously upset Vera was more important now. Once they were both buckled in his car, Vera wrapped her hands around his.
„Remember how you found the photo of the little baby on my drawer when we were painting?“ she asked. Hamish nodded.
„Yeah. You said it’s your daughter.“
„She… was,“ Vera said quietly, and dropped her gaze to their intertwined hands. „Katie was born when I was only 16. The guy I was dating wanted me to be another of his trophies, and I was just a stupid little kid, so I went with him. It was fucking horrible, and he left me immediately. After a month, I found out I’m pregnant.“
„Vera-“ Hamish wanted to say something, but she tightened her grip.
„No, please, let me finish. If you’ll interrupt me, I’ll lose the strength.“ Vera took a deep breath, and continued.
„You know, my family is the biggest fuck up. I don’t know why my parents even had kids, because they were so focused on their career, and home was the most loveless place for us. When they found out I’m pregnant, they just threw me out. I haven’t seen them or my brother since then. Brother died already, but honestly, I don’t even know if they’re still alive. And I don’t care. Hamish, please, I don’t want your pity, I can sense it from you. I’m just telling you because it’s a part of the story and I don’t think I will ever be brave enough to repeat it.“ Another deep breath.
„I went to live with my grandma, who was probably the only sane person in the whole Stone family. I was scared to death about having a baby. I was a kid myself, after all. But as soon as I got to hold her, I knew it’s going to be alright. Katie was the most awesome baby… She rarely cried, she was – really a ray of sun. And when she smiled at me, it was the most beautiful feeling.“
Hamish decided to be quiet. He just put a hand on Vera’s cheek, and she melted into the touch, eyes closed. When she opened them again, he saw they were filled with tears.
„She died when she was just 7 months old. Anaphylactic shock. There was nothing I could do, and I swear, I tried. I tried everything I could, be she was just laying there, so still, and her angelic little face was blue and-“
„Vera,“ Hamish said, and pulled her close to him. He felt her hot tears slowly soaking his shirt, and caressed her hair. He was at loss of words. What would you say to a mother who lost her child? It’s going to be OK? It won’t.
„You’re not alone, Vera. I’m here with you.“
She sniffed and pulled away from him, so she could look him in the face. „Sometimes I have a feeling you’re too good for me. How come you actually like me?“
She was definitely upset today. This didn’t even sound like Vera, the Stone cold CEO everyone was scared of. Hamish smiled a little.
„You’re not a bad person, Vera, even though you’re working very hard to make people think that. And I already told you you can’t convince me especially. You just need to let me in.“
„I’m trying,“ she answered, and probably for the first time ever it was her who iniciated a kiss, and when they ended it, she rested her forehead against his. „Will you… Will you go with me to the cemetery, please? It’s her… Katie would have been 18 today.“
„Of course, Vera. Of course I will.“ He could only imagine how desperate she was when it made her to swallow all her pride and ask him.
With a faint smile, she took his hand again. „Thank you, Hamish. It means a lot for me.“
He decided to just caress her soft hand with his thumb. „Okay. Can we stop at mine briefly? I need to pick up something. It will be fast, I promise.“
„Sure,“ nodded Vera.
Within an hour, they arrived to a small cemetery. Vera was as pale as Snow White, and held Hamish’s hand tightly.
„I don’t do this often,“ she explained quietly. „I don’t think I could bear it every year. It’s been 8 years since the last time I was here.“
Katie’s grave was not so far away from the entrance gate. It was big, white gravestone, with a dove on top of it, and flowers carved into the stone. There was even a picture of beautiful, smiling little girl, who looked liked mini version of Vera.
„Hi, baby,“ whispered the dark haired woman next to him, and crouched down. „Happy birthday, Katie.“ She took out a candle out of her purse, lit it, and put it down. Hamish reached down to his pocket, and pulled out silver chainlet, with pendant in a shape of an angel. His grandmother gave it to him, and since he wasn'T exactly going to wear it, it seemed like a perfect thing for baby Katie, who became an angel too soon.
„Hi, Katie,“ he started, unsure if it’s not too much. „I’m – I would really like to meet you, girl. I believe that you would really spice up my relationship with your mother, because you would no doubt be exactly the same as her. I'm so sorry I will never know you, but I promise I'll take care of Mom instead of you. Although she will definitely fight with me for every word. And I will do everything to make her happy again. Happy birthday, Katie.“ With that, he put the chainlet around the photo.
„Oh my God, Hamish,“ Vera whimpered, and with two steps, she was in his embrace, holding tightly, as if her life depended on it. She wanted to say something, but the lump in her throat made it impossible for her. Hamish was gently stroking her back.
„You know,“ Vera sniffed after a while, „I’m sure she would have loved you. Just as I do.“
Hamish stopped the strokes for a second. He felt her snuggling ever closer to him, and the tiniest smile was appearing on his face, almost against his will. He dropped a little kiss on her hair.
„Me too,“ he whispered, audibly just enough for Vera to hear. „Me too.“
If they woud be in some movie, the candle flame would probably flutter in the wind to indicate that Katharine was watching them from heaven, but this wasn’t a movie. They were just two people in need of each other, and according to what they had just said, in love with each other.
Hamish couldn’t help himself, though. He looked at the tombstone, at the photo of the beautiful baby who had known her mother for less time than he had known her, and inaudibly said a simple sentence.
Thank you, Katie.