Chapter Text
It’s Monday and Mizukamiya Seiryuu’s shift at Seishou Library starts at two pm. It’s his first of the week and it’s after a full packed morning of classes Seiryuu has to attend to get a useless and unwanted degree in Law.
Seiryuu gets off the bus. It’s the same one, every day. It’s a twenty-five minutes ride and it takes him from his university to the Library. Seiryuu uses the time to read books that are not about Law. He usually sits in the same spot every time. He’s a creature of habit. He likes routine more than anything. So, he sits in the back, left row close to window.
Today, he doesn’t sit where he wants to, because of the guy with long untamed grey hair who stole his spot on his bus. Of course, Seiryuu can’t fight a stranger because he stole his preferred choice of seating on a public transport, but he can imagine doing it for the twenty-five minutes ride. Seiryuu had to sit on the right side, away from the window. And his e-reader was dead, battery run out. He feels a little bit off. His mood is low. He notices the stranger—tall, slim legs, dark skin complementing his hair too well—is going in his same direction. He’s wearing a school uniform, jacket off and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up. The kid is probably a self-claimed rebel.
Seiryuu shakes his head and starts to walk faster because if he keeps this pace up, he’s going to be late. He can’t be late. He doesn’t like being late, especially on Monday when his responsible, Kudou, is in his office. Seiryuu enters the Library just in time to see Haruna saying goodbye in a whisper after her shift. He smiles at her when he sees her getting closer and she smiles back, her perfume filling the air around Seiryuu.
“Sorry, I’m late,” he says, breathe a little ragged from the walk.
Haruna laughs, then she puts an hand over her mouth and Seiryuu laughs softly, “Ops... anyway, it’s just one minute, don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow!”
She waves goodbye to him, opening the door of the Library with her elbow, her red glasses on and already on the phone talking about an article she’s writing for her Journalism’s class. Haruna keeps her genuine smile on her lips, constantly and Seiryuu feels a little bit better.
Mizukamiya turns around, Saotome—his partner for the day—already in position behind the information’s desk. Seiryuu sighs, thinks about how much he needs to study and how hard it’s going to be because it’s Monday and everyone and their mothers will be here, asking about books to check out, to check in, books for their thesis, for their masters and then can you please find me this unknowable old book I think I saw last time I was here in the Ancient History section?, and usually Seiryuu loves it, but today it’s Monday and his mother told him he has to get that degree he doesn’t want to or else and his father just said, do it and make her happy. And then a high schooler stole his seat on the bus. Young people don’t know respect, don’t they? Doesn’t matter the fact that Seiryuu was a high schooler himself just a year before. Right now, he’s in university.
“Are you okay?” Saotome asks, a little worry in his blue eyes and Seiryuu nods.
“Just tired.”
“It’s Monday.”
Yeah, he thinks, it is.
The Thief is back. And this time he is not on the bus, but he is Seiryuu’s Library. Seiryuu is doing a double shift. It’s Friday and he’s been sitting on that chair since eight AM. Now it’s one PM and Seiryuu is thinking about lunch and how is going to have to sit on this chair for another six hours, give or take. And then The Thief gets in and he’s totally out of place. He’s wearing the same school uniform that now Seiryuu recognizes as Raimon’s, a high school in another fraction of Tokyo. The Thief is probably skipping since he is here and not in the other side of town. A rebel, indeed.
Seiryuu observes him and he tries to think about his next move. Is he about to create unnecessary chaos just because he wants to? Seiryuu is already thinking about his This is a Library speech when the kid stops looking around and walks in and disappears behind the shelves. Seiryuu looks at the empty spot he left, and he has to physically restrain himself from following him. His eyes are still focused on where The Thief was when Haruna gets back from her bathroom break.
“Something happen?” She asks, opening her laptop at the same time. She’s still writing that article about corporations’ impact on world’s pollution, if Seiryuu recalls right. He likes to listen to her talk, she’s a delight. She’s funny and cute, and she knows what she’s talking about. Seiryuu can see how she is going to challenge the world and make a change with her wits and her words.
Seiryuu thinks about her question, finally tearing his gaze away, “Not yet, but I have a feeling.”
Haruna cocks her head to the side and puts a pen between her lips, “About what?”
“Rebels.”
Haruna doesn’t question him anymore and they get to work. They spend all day studying and getting books for people. Seiryuu forgets about The Thief.
It’s seven PM when he stops writing laws and articles and cases he doesn’t care about. The Library is slowly getting empty and Haruna, next to him, touches her temples with a sigh.
“Headache?”
Haruna simply nods. Seiryuu squeezes her shoulder lightly, “I’m going to check how things are going.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
He feels like a cat after sleeping for five hours. He stretches his arms and then he goes. There are still people even if they are about to close in half an hour. Everyone has pretty much their nose buried in books or reading on the armchairs. Seiryuu kindly remembers them the closing time.
He picks up some books and then he enters the nature section. A table is full of tomes about... penguins. Manuals and manuals about different and specific type of penguins. And next to them there is a notebook, pages stained with black ink. The calligraphy is almost unreadable, but there are numbers and quotes that Seiryuu assumes are about penguins. He looks around, but there is only him. Probably, whoever was here forgot it. Seiryuu puts it back on the table to re-shelve all the books he found. They are fifteen—yes, he counted them—and it took him about twenty minutes to put them back in their place. Then, he takes the notebook. When he comes back at his station, Haruna is getting ready to close. She even put Seiryuu’s things in his backpack and he softly thanks her.
“Someone forgot this. I’m putting here with a sticky note on it.”
“Good, don’t forget the date.”
His next shift it’s on a Tuesday, the day of his exam. He doesn’t pass. Seiryuu takes the bus and he notices how The Thief is there, sitting in Seiryuu’s seat, legs spread open and earphones in his ears. If Seiryuu concentrates enough, he can hear the loud music.
He sighs.
The Thief doesn’t even acknowledge him. Well, why he should? He doesn’t know who he is, anyway. And he doesn’t know that he is sitting in Seiryuu’s preferred spot, but something makes Seiryuu behave like a ten year old and he wants to seat there and not where is sitting now and he’s about to get up and tell that high-schooler off when his mobile phone rings. It’s Nosaka, one of his friends from university he can actually stand and not hate.
Nosaka is peculiar, to say the least, but he’s fun to be around and he gets it. Seiryuu enjoys when people understand him without too much explanation. Nosaka asks about his exam and Seiryuu just sighs. Nosaka changes subject immediately, sensing the mood. He starts a full-on monologue in a complete neutral tone, not giving off enthusiasm or anything. Weird, but also comfortable. Nosaka talks about his boyfriend, Nishikage (Seiryuu met him a few times, nice guy but too busy being disgustingly in love with Nosaka Yuuma like he’s getting payed) and this new restaurant they want to try. Seiryuu listens, but his eyes and most of his attention are still on The Thief.
The Thief and Seiryuu gets off the bus five minutes later (Nosaka stopped telling about the restaurant to talk about an ice cream parlour—he really likes eating out) and they start walking towards the Library. It’s a ten-minute walk from the bus stop. When he—they—are in the front of the building, three minutes before the start of his shift, Nosaka is inviting him to a fancy dinner even if he knows Seiryuu is going to say no. He’s kind to try, but he doesn’t like that scene. He says no, but thanks for asking and he can physically feel Nosaka’s kind, polite and professional smile. He adds a goodbye and ends the call.
Seiryuu lost sight of The Thief. He didn’t see him going in, but he doesn’t know if he didn’t.
Seiryuu looks around and then decides that he needs to quit being a borderline stalker because wherever and whoever that kid is, it’s not his business. Even if he stole his seat on the bus.
Two days later, The Thief comes straight to him at the information desk after entering the Library. He isn’t wearing his school uniform, but black jeans, black shirt and a black hat. He looks kind of cute and also pretentious. Seiryuu wants to laugh, but his Grandma taught him to be better than that. This is the first time that Seiryuu gets a good look of his face. It’s a good face and he doesn’t look like a high schooler without his uniform so Seiryuu feels less guilty when he thinks that. His long hair cover half of his face and what stays the most with Seiryuu are his eyes, red and grey mixed together, passion and maybe what Seiryuu thinks it’s anger burning inside of them.
The Thief stares back at him. They keep looking at each other like this is a National Geographic documentary and they are two beats in the Jungle ready to guts each other. Seiryuu feels sorry for the cameraman, right now.
“Yes?” Seiryuu believes he needs to be the bigger man, right now. He’s also older, so he needs to be the responsible one. And he needs to study because he has to retake the same exam for the fourth time around, he doesn’t have time to lose staring at boys.
“Did you,” he starts, and it looks like talking is giving him some kind of pain, “found. A notebook. It’s grey.”
That was... let’s say that if Seiryuu wasn’t so busy trying not to laugh, he would’ve patted him on the shoulder and said, “Good job, you did your best there.”
“A grey notebook?” he coughs to clear his voice. He asks a question just because he can. He knows what The Thief is talking about. He isn’t going to give him so easily... but the kid looks shell-shocked when he says the words and he’s probably trying to find the right words, so Seiryuu puts a show on, “Oh! The penguins one!”
The Thief almost growls, “You opened it?! Don’t you have a rule about privacy or something?!”
Seiryuu crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head, “First, this is a Library. Please, refrain from screaming. People are here to study or read and that require silence,” oh yes, he feels so powerful right now, maybe it’s the This is a Library speech that makes him feel like the President. Also, he wanted to do this since the first time he saw The Thief inside his workplace. “Second,” he adds, easily, “I found the notebook on to a table full of tomes about penguins. So, I made the connection,” he omits the part where he opened it. Of course, he opened it. Privacy doesn’t exist in the Library. Librarian are allowed by unwritten rules. This is their kingdom. Okay, maybe Seiryuu likes other people’s business more than he likes to admit.
The Thief avoids his gaze and Seiryuu notices his slightly darker skin tone on his cheeks and ears. Oh, he’s blushing. He’s blushing. Seiryuu smiles a little. Revenge is too good, sometimes. Seiryuu is not a bad person, he doesn’t want people to suffer, but he enjoys embarrassing people when he can, he finds it more rewarding that seeing them in pain. The Thief looks also very cute with his puffed cheeks out of indignation because a Librarian found out about his penguin research.
“Give it back,” The Thief puts his hands on Seiryuu’s desk.
Seiryuu tilts his head and touches his chin, “Let me think about it first.”
“What? Do you have to think? It’s mine!”
“If you lower your voice and say Please, I will give it back.”
The Thief takes a step back, “You!” he points at him with his index finger.
Seiryuu lays his back against his chair, “You know that’s rude, right? Pointing people? It’s also rude not to ask politely.”
The kid is about to have a tantrum and Seiryuu tries hard not to laugh. The other one takes a deep breath and then, teeth gritting together, he says, “Can you please give it back?”
Seiryuu smiles wider and spin his chair around. He opens a cabinet and there is it, the infamous grey penguin notebook with a post it with the date on. Usually, they put lost items on the counter people can see them better, but Seiryuu’s curiosity told him to put it in the cabinet. The truth is, Seiryuu wanted to be the only one to know where the notebook was so he could see the penguin-obsessed owner. He doesn’t know why and sometimes it’s okay not having an explanation for weird things you brain tells you to do. Luckily, he did it, because he finds out that the penguin-obsessed owner is also his bus seat thief.
He turns around and puts a kind smile on his lips. He hands over the notebook and The Thief tears it from Seiryuu’s hold. He laughs softly, “It’s yours, calm down.”
“I don’t like you.”
“I’ll survive.”
“You... Library rat.”
Seiryuu raises an eyebrow, “You can do so much better than that.”
The Thief runs out the Library and Seiryuu’s eyes stay on the door.
“Okay, I’m lost. What just happened?” Saotome asks and Seiryuu remembers that he wasn’t alone.
Ops.
A week later, Seiryuu sees him again. He’s doing the routine check around the Library. Usually, it’s Haruna’s job because she likes doing it and Seiryuu despises it. Right now, she’s studying like crazy for an exam and Seiryuu already give up with his. He told her not to worry about, so here he is, making sure that people are not eating in the Library or making too much noise.
The Library is really big, and it takes time to check every area. He’s almost at the end of his round when he spots a mass of grey hair. Seiryuu gets close and he notices how The Thief is sleeping, drooling over a book about sharks. He can’t have that on one of the Library’s books, so he needs to wake him up.
Seiryuu doesn’t like to touch people without their consent and The Thief can’t give him consent meanwhile he’s sleeping. He sits next to him and tries his best, “Hey... uhm, excuse me...”
He can’t raise his voice more and the kid doesn’t show any signs of waking up.
“T—kid, wake up. C’mon, wake up.”
A growl, “Leave me alone.”
“If you stop drooling all over the books, sure.”
That works. The Thief raises his head fast and his hand is next to his mouth trying to cover the mess he made. Seiryuu wants to give him a napkin.
“It’s you,” The Thief’s voice is full of sleep, “The Tome Raider.”
Seiryuu laughs, too loud for the Library’s standard. A chorus of shhh fill the space and Seiryuu feels his cheeks heating up.
“Ops,” he whispers.
“This is a Library,” The Thief says and Seiryuu really needs to force himself to not slap him—lightly, of course—on the arm.
“Shut up, I know it. It’s your fault, you made me laugh.”
The Thief gives him a smile that is so sharp and dangerous that Seiryuu feels almost in danger, “Better than Library Rat?”
Seiryuu crosses his arms, “Yes, I’ll give it an eight.”
The Thief looks at him with disbelief in his eyes, then he glances down, on the books he drooled over, “Uhm, sorry?”
Seiryuu shakes his head, “It’s okay, you didn’t damage them, but next time you fall asleep do it on the table.”
The Thief nods.
After that, Seiryuu finds out The Thief’s name. It’s Haizaki Ryouhei and he’s a senior at Raimon High School. He doesn’t exactly find out because Haizaki tells him when he asks about the Library Card and Seiryuu says he can do it immediately, if he wants to. Haizaki nods and gives him everything he needs.
Seiryuu has refrain to ask a lot of question like why are you not in school right now and why you like penguins so much. The curiosity is going to kill him, but he must respect Haizaki’s privacy. And he doesn’t know Seiryuu and Seiryuu doesn’t know him. Seiryuu needs to do his job without stick his nose into someone’s else business.
Haizaki touches the back of his neck after Seiryuu hands him over a magnetic card with his name and birthdate on it, “Now I can... get books out?”
Seiryuu smiles, “Yes, you can. You can also register on our site and access to e-books and you can make a reservation for a book you are interested in and maybe it’s out of the Library.”
Haizaki doesn’t lift his eyes from his Library Card, “Oh, okay.”
He seems a bit out of it, like something is wrong with him. Seiryuu knows what he said to himself. Haizaki is not his business, but he looks... haunted. Asking won’t hurt anyone, Seiryuu tells himself.
“Haizaki,” Seiryuu likes the way his name sounds on his tongue, “Is everything...”
“Don’t worry about me, Reed More.”
And he’s out.
Reed More?
Seiryuu can’t laugh, the risk of being too loud high, but he wants to. He really wants to.
“Do you have books about bears?”
Seiryuu raises his head from his manual to look at Haizaki. He’s standing close—too close—to Seiryuu’s face and he’s looking at him with two eyes. That’s weird. Haizaki doesn’t have two eyes. Seiryuu notices that Haizaki’s hair are up, tied in a ponytail and Seiryuu can see his whole face. Oh. Cute. Did he ask a question, though?
“What?”
“I asked if you have books about bears.”
Seiryuu cocks his head to the side, “Bears.”
“Yeah, bears.”
“Haizaki, do you really like predators that much? First penguins... then sharks... now bears...”
“Well, Page Turner, first, penguins are not predators, second, I don’t like them. It’s for research.”
Seiryuu is intrigued now, he puts his chin on his intertwined hands, “Oh, research?”
Haizaki nods and crosses his arms, “Yes.”
“What kind of research?"
“To surpass that Kidou with my knowledge of penguins since he likes them so much. I’ll prove it to him that I’m better than him.”
“You want... to prove that you are better than this Kidou with info about penguins.”
Haizaki seems too proud of this strategy, “Yes. And it’s working. You didn’t see his face when I told him about the Emperor Penguin.”
Seiryuu doesn’t know what to say, “And what about sharks?”
Haizaki hums at that, “I like them. Misunderstood animals.”
“And what about bears?”
“I... have an interest. In bears,” he looks away and he’s blushing again.
Seiryuu is amused. He finds Haizaki interesting. He has weird mood swings and sometimes you can’t talk to him, but it’s nice when it happens. This is just another interaction between them after he made the Library Card and Seiryuu likes talking with Haizaki because he has the ability to make Seiryuu stop thinking. And he enjoys having his brain empty sometimes.
“Let me check, but I think we have them.”
“Good.”
Seiryuu types in bears in the Library’s online search system and he scrolls down.
“Yeah, there are a bunch of them. Nature section, B-shelf, everything after number 299.”
Haizaki has his hands in his high-school uniform pockets. He nods and then he says, “Thank you, Mizukamiya.”
“Oh, how do you know my name?”
Haizaki looks at him like he’s dumb. He probably is, but the use of his family name took him by surprise. He was waiting for something like Book Fucker.
“It’s on your nametag, Bookface.”
Oh. He was almost right about the nickname, though.
Seiryuu thinks about Haizaki almost daily, now. They are... friends? He’s hesitant about using that word because it’s probably too much. It’s been almost a month since they started talking every time they are at the Library. Sometimes, Seiryuu sits next to Haizaki during his ten minutes break instead of eating or drinking coffee and he watches him as Haizaki reads whatever he decided to pick up that day. He doesn’t ask about school or why Haizaki spends almost every day cramped in the nature section even when he’s reading a Jane Austen’s novel (Seiryuu asked about that and Haizaki shrugged, telling him that Kidou’s boyfriend told him it was his favourite book and apparently Kidou’s boyfriend is the coolest person Haizaki knows, next to Kidou’s other boyfriend).
The fact is, Haizaki worries Seiryuu because now Seiryuu cares about him and he wants to know why he skips school at least three times a week and spends his day in the Library instead of going out with his friends. And Seiryuu knows he has friends because he always talks about Kidou and Kidou’s boyfriends and Kidou’s sister and this Asuto kid and that Hiroto he affectionately calls bastard. He wants to ask why but something tells him if he does that, he’s going to lose Haizaki. Haizaki doesn’t like when he asks him how’s going or are you okay? He has to moods to that: he doesn’t answer or he runs away. So, Seiryuu asks him things about the books he’s reading and facts about animals and what do you think is going to happen in the next Pokémon episode? And Haizaki does the same. He never asks how Mizukamiya’s doing and what is studying. He just listens to him when he softly rants about work and books. It’s nice and Seiryuu feels always a little better. And to think he hated the guy because he stole his seat on the bus. He still does it, but now they sit together when they are on the bus at the same time. Haizaki told him to sit, when Seiryuu said hello one day.
Another thing that makes Seiryuu worry is the fact he never sees Haizaki eat. Sometimes, Haizaki is in the Library from morning to evening without eating and that makes Seiryuu’s overprotective brain go nuts. He’s a mother hen, okay? He can’t deny it. If Seiryuu cares about someone, he needs to make sure they are taking care of themselves. Haizaki doesn’t take care of himself. Seiryuu wants to fix it. He’s a growing boy—he’s a year younger, but he tends to forget about that—and he needs nutrients and proteins he doesn’t get because he doesn’t eat! Therefore today he has two lunch boxes with him. Just in case. Also, he’s covering for Haruna in the afternoon and he’s going to stay all day in the Library. He hopes Haizaki comes. Haizaki chooses random days to show up, so it’s always a roulette and Seiryuu enjoys silently betting with himself on when he’s going to come. Yeah, he’s very bored, but he studying something he hates, give him a break.
Haizaki shows up at eleven AM and Seiryuu can already sense his bad mood. It’s one of those days, then. Seiryuu smiles at him and Haizaki simply nods, then he disappear, going into hiding in the nature section.
Seiryuu sighs.
Saotome puts a hand on his shoulder, “Do you want to...?”
Seiryuu shakes his head, “Not yet, but thanks.”
Saotome is a close friend, they are working side by side for a year and half now. It’s easy, to talk with him because he’s gentle and caring. They got out with Haruna at least a couple times a month and talk shit about their regulars, their colleagues, and their boss, but now the new argument of discussion is Haizaki Ryouhei and what they think is Seiryuu’s crush for him. Seiryuu doesn’t have a crush for Haizaki. Seiryuu doesn’t do crushes. He doesn’t have time. He’s trying to survive Law School without an inch of capability or interest!
Two hours later, they have lunch break. Seiryuu takes his backpack and instead of going out—they can’t eat inside—he goes in, towards a specific section. Here, he finds him. Haizaki is launched over the table, not books in sight and he’s looking at nothing. Seiryuu takes a deep breath, then he sits next to him.
“Can I touch you?” he asks. He always asks, only because the first time he did, Haizaki looked at him with eyes full of surprise. None one ever asked him and he liked it.
Haizaki grunts and Seiryuu recognizes a no in it. So, he doesn’t touch him.
“Can you come with me?”
Haizaki turns to look at him. Seiryuu has to glace down because Haizaki’s face is still touching the wood.
“Why?”
“I want you to give you something, but I can’t do it inside the Library.”
Haizaki’s expression changes and Seiryuu knows he’s thinking.
“Okay.”
They go out. Seiryuu takes him to his favourite spot. The Library has a place outside where people can go and eat, full of tables and chairs, but Seiryuu doesn’t like it, because it’s too open. He enjoys eating in a little park, a few minutes of walk away from the Library. When they arrive, Haizaki has an eyebrow raised in question. Seiryuu points a bench, “There.”
The sun is high in the sky, but the trees are going to give them enough shade to eat comfortably. If Haizaki accepts, of course. Then, Seiryuu is not going to eat either because he will feel too guilty.
Seiryuu sits and Haizaki looks at him, suspicion in his eyes, “What are you doing, Bookface?”
“I’ll tell if you sit next to me.”
“And if I don’t?”
“You’ll never know.”
Haizaki sits, legs spread and hands in his bomber jacket’s pockets, “So?”
Seiryuu opens his backpack, taking out the two lunch boxes. It’s now or never.
“Here,” he says and hands him the green on, “This is for you.”
Haizaki doesn’t take it, confusion and surprise in his eyes, “What?”
“I made too much food this morning,” he lies, “And I thought... do you mind?”
Haizaki is hesitant when he takes the lunch box in his hands. He looks at it like it’s a bomb that it’s about to explode, “Are you sure you want me... to eat it?”
Seiryuu laughs, “I’m giving it to you for a reason, Haizaki. Please, enjoy it.”
Haizaki nods and he opens the lunch box. Then he looks around, still too confused. He doesn’t know how to eat it. Seiryuu takes out two sets of chopsticks, “There you go.”
“Thank you.”
Seiryuu smiles big and bright, “You are welcome.”
He keeps his eyes on Haizaki until he gets the first bite. Haizaki swallow and says, “It’s good.”
Seiryuu claps his hands, “Oh yes, I’m a great cook and now you know how much!”
Haizaki doesn’t say anything else, but he eats everything.
Seiryuu smiles all day, after that. And he always brings two lunch boxes, now.
Maybe he has a crush.
Seiryuu is utterly fucked.
“I think you should tell him. Ask him on a date or something,” Haruna eats a spoonful of her curry.
“No.”
“Why not?” she asks, “You like him and I think he likes you too.”
Seiryuu shakes his head, “He doesn’t like me, he barely stands me.”
Haruna fixes her red glasses on her tiny nose, “Look, Haizaki isn’t someone who gets attached to people easily. And he’s obviously attached to you. Why do you think he always comes to the Library, these days?”
Seiryuu raises an eyebrow, “Since when do you know so much about Haizaki?”
Haruna blushes, “Actually...”
“Haruna.”
“He is my brother’s pet project.”
Seiryuu stares at her, “What? Wait. Your brother?”
“Kidou Yuuto. He and Haizaki are... something. Yuuto cares about him deeply, though. I feel like he considers Haizaki his little brother. I still don’t know how they met and how they got so close, but yeah.”
“Your brother is Kidou Yuuto?” As future CEO of Kidou Corp and as Haizaki’s Kidou?
“Yeah?”
“How? You. Your family name...”
“I’m adopted. He’s also adopted. We lost our parents young and we got into two different families. He got lucky, and I got luckier.”
“I...” Seriyuu closes and opens his mouth a few times but Haruna just laughs.
“Don’t worry. You don’t need to say sorry. It’s been years and I don’t have a problem talking about it. It’s just... you can’t really start a friendship saying by the way I’m an orphan and I was adopted by a really nice family. And I never I had the opportunity to tell you, before.”
Seiryuu nods, “I understand. I’m happy you feel comfortable enough to tell me.”
Haruna smiles, “I’m happy too.”
Seiryuu looks around the restaurant. Haruna invited him to eat out with her, after work. He said yes, of course, because he doesn’t like to go home too early. His mother is really pissing him off, lately, because he isn’t showing results at Law School. He has two constant in his mind, one is dropping out and the other is Haizaki Ryouhei.
“You know Haizaki, then.”
Haruna nods, “Not that much, I usually arrive when he’s leaving Yuuto’s house. We say hello to each other and we talk about books sometimes if we are in the same room for more than five minute, or we talk about my brother or my brother’s boyfriends. He came to the Library because I told him about it. He was trying to find the money to buy a book about penguins to impress my brother—pretty cute, don’t you think? And I said to him why buying it when you can read it in the Library for free. This is why he came. He doesn’t talk to me at the Library probably because he’s embarrassed. He’s really cute. An overgrown angry puppy. This is how my brother describes him, anyway.”
Seiryuu can’t hide the way his lips curve at that, “He is.”
Haruna laughs hard, her spoon dropping against the plate.
Seiryuu blushes, “Leave me alone.”
Haruna tries to calm down, then she puts a hand on Seiryuu’s and says, “Really. I think he likes you. Ask him out.”
“I don’t want to lose him if he doesn’t reciprocate my... you know.”
Haruna tightens her hold on his hand, “I get that, but you have to risk it. You’ll be happier if you take some risks, Mizukamiya.”
“Why I get the impression you are not talking about Haizaki?”
“I’m talking about him, but not only him.”
Haruna knows Seiryuu too well. How did it happen? He didn’t even know Kidou Yuuto—the Kidou Yuuto—was her brother. Well, at least Seiryuu knows now that she will be the greatest journalist ever, since she gets information in, but doesn’t let it out.
“Okay. One risk at the time, thought.”
“I can accept that.”
Five days later, Seiryuu does it. He asks Haizaki out. They are eating at their spot. He likes that they have a spot now, and he likes it more that it was his spot before but now he’s sharing it with Haizaki.
“Can I ask you something?”
Haizaki raises his head, “What?”
Seiryuu doesn’t meet his eyes. He keeps looking in front of him, observing how the wind moves trees’ leaves and bushes. He’s trying to ground himself. He’s not scared of asking Haizaki out. It’s something normal, he likes him, he wants to spend more time with him and he enjoys his company. He’s scared of how Haizaki will take it. He doesn’t know if he likes boys, but at least he knows that Haizaki doesn’t have a problem with boys dating boys (Kidou and his boyfriends are a pretty solid proof). He likes being with Haizaki and he can’t stand the possibility of losing that familiarity between them. It was natural, how they got close in such a short time, and he doesn’t want to kill their friendship because of stupid feelings and his stupid heart that had the audacity to speed up every time Haizaki crossed the Library’s entrance.
“Are you free on Saturday?”
It was surprisingly easy, to say it. He feels his chest lighter.
“Why?” Haizaki sounds weary.
“I want to go out with you.”
Seiryuu senses Haizaki freeze. There is space between them, their bodies don’t touch, but Seiryuu can feel the change in Haizaki and he hates himself.
“Why?” Haizaki asks again, after few minutes of silence.
Seiryuu huffs a laugh, “I like you and I want to spend more time with you outside the Library.”
“You... like me?”
“Yes, very much. Still can’t understand why, if I have to be honest, you are unsufferable.”
“I don’t know if I like you too. What do you want me to do?”
Seiryuu turns his head towards Haizaki, who looks... well, shocked. He has his hand in his hair and he is trying hard not to pull them—it’s a response to stress and probably trauma—because Seiryuu told him to stop, once, after they got in a heated discussion. Seiryuu wants to put his hand on Haizaki’s wrist just to be of some comfort, but he doesn’t know if Haizaki would like it. He doesn’t do anything.
“I want you to say yes. But I think you should say yes only if you really want to. You can say no. I will not be angry.”
“I want to say yes.”
Seiryuu tries not to choke on his saliva, “Then say yes.”
“I will go out with you,” Haizaki is not looking at him, “But only if you stop treating me like I’m made of glass.”
“What?”
“You are always so... careful! Don’t get me wrong. I like the fact that you are mindful and you think of others before yourself, but... I... we... we are... friends?” Haizaki stops. He pulls his legs up on the bench and crosses them. Now, he is facing Seiryuu. His hands are on his keens.
“We are friends,” he sounds surer, “So, you can touch me if you want and you can... ask why.”
Oh. That’s nice.
Seiryuu slowly gets closer, thigh touching Haizaki’s leg, “Okay.”
Saturday comes and Seiryuu has a Plan with a P. Nosaka says the Plan sucks, but Nosaka can go fuck himself because Seiryuu worked on this Plan two days straight.
After everything, Seiryuu got Haizaki’s number. Actually, Haizaki gave it to him because it felt right and they are texting pretty much every minute of the day. Haizaki sends him memes or Tiktoks he finds funny and Seiryuu replies with an awful usage of stickers and Co-star motivational quotes. It’s working, they are working and it’s so weird, but also... Seiryuu feels happy after a long time.
Haizaki is waiting for him at the bus stop. This time, they are not taking the bus, though. He arrives in his father’s car and he thanks whoever is in the sky that day that his father doesn’t think about money when he buys a car. Haizaki opens the door of the black BMW with a whistle, “Nice car.”
He looks nice. Seiryuu smiles at the thought that Haizaki put effort in his appearance for him. He’s wearing black dress pants and a white loose shirt tucked in. His right wrist is full of bracelets. There is one with a penguin on it. Cute.
“Thank you, I worked hard for it.”
Haizaki raises an eyebrow and Seiryuu laughs, “I had to do the dishes and every bed in the house for a week to have the car today.”
“Oh, sorry.”
Seiryuu turns on the blinker, “Don’t say sorry. I wanted to do this.”
Haizaki scratch his head, “If you say so,” then he starts pushing the stereo buttons.
Seiryuu smiles, “I’m glad you are here.”
“Are you going to be mushy all day?”
“Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“No. Can you move? Where are we going, anyway?”
Seiryuu laughs, “It’s a surprise.”
Haizaki lays against the window, “I don’t like surprises.”
“I don’t care!”
Seiryuu felt like the Aquarium was the right choice for this date with Haizaki since they got to know each other because of marine animals. Haizaki’s eyes are so big when he gets out of the car, a little smile on his lips when he realizes why they are here.
“Really?”
“I think it’s romantic.”
“You are the worst. Let’s go, I want to see if they have sharks.”
They do, Seiryuu already checked on the website.
It’s early, so the Aquarium isn’t full of people and screaming children. They are sitting in front of the penguins tank and Haizaki is explaining to him everything about them. Seiryuu listens with interest, not because he cares about penguins, but he likes Haizaki’s voice and the way he gets excited when he talks about things he knows and loves.
“And that’s it.”
“Nice. What did Kidou say when you told him all this?”
“He said that he was raising me well. He’s weird like that.”
“But you like him.”
“I... don’t hate him.”
“Haizaki,” Seiryuu thinks it’s time to have the conversation he’s trying to avoid since... well, the beginning.
“Yeah?”
“Why you are always at Library?”
Haizaki sighs, “You really want to know?”
“There is a reason why I’m asking you.”
“I... it’s not like I hate school. I don’t mind going, I have friends there I like spend time with, but I need a break once in a while, and sometimes my once in a while it’s three times a week. The Library is quiet. I like it there.”
Seiryuu nods.
“It’s... I don’t like being at home, though.”
Seiryuu touches his arm.
“My father... he isn’t nice. I try to avoid him and the Library is a perfect place to hide because I can go even if I don’t have money. First, I went to the Arcade and then to Kidou’s house, but Kidou... I don’t want his pity.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say sorry. It’s just this year and then I’m out of that house. My father is only mean to me, my mother is safe there, so I don’t feel guilty about leaving.”
“I’m still sorry you have to live somewhere you don’t feel safe enough. And about Kidou... I never met the guy, but from what I heard from you and from Haruna... he loves you like a brother, so I don’t think it’s pity.”
Haizaki rests his head against Seiryuu’s shoulder, “Stop saying things like that.”
“Why?”
“Makes me think I like you too.”
They go to dinner, then they spend all evening walking around, back of their hands brushing. If Seiryuu was braver enough, he would’ve hold Haizaki’s hand. He isn’t, though.
“I’m thinking about dropping out of Law School,” he says and Haizaki stops.
“Why?”
“I hate it,” he replies, turning to look at Haizaki.
“Then why are you going in the first place?”
“My mom made me do it, saying the only thing she wants from me is a Law degree.”
“But you hate it.”
“Yeah.”
“What do you want to do?” Haizaki says and Seiryuu feels shell-shocked. Nobody ever asked what he wanted. Never. Not his parents, not his friends, no one. He doesn’t know. He can’t answer a simple question like that because he doesn’t know, he never thought it that far. He knew what his mother wanted and he always complied. He always knew he had to go to Law School even he didn’t want to. He never thought about the possibility of not going.
“I... I don’t know. I just want to drop out and never see a Law manual again in my life.”
“Then do it,” Haizaki gets closer.
“It’s not that easy, my mom...”
“Fuck your mom,” Haizaki growls, “You are allowed to have dreams outside what your parents want from you.”
“I know, it’s just... it’s hard for me, saying no to her. Them. I always try to please them and do what they want,” he tries to explain it with his hands.
“Do you work at the Library because your parents want it?”
“No!”
“See, you are not always doing what they want.”
Seiryuu laughs timidly, “I guess you are right.”
Haizaki grins, “Get used to that.”
Seiryuu takes Haizaki home.
“You can’t come up,” Haizaki says.
Seiryuu nods, “I get it. Your dad?”
Haizaki laughs bitterly, “Yeah, sorry.”
Seiryuu shakes his head, “Don’t say sorry,” then he sighs, “I don’t want you to leave,” hand already up to touch Haizaki’s cheek. He caresses it, thumb stroking Haizaki’s cheekbone.
Haizaki is looking away, eyes trying to focus on whatever he sees outside the car, but he doesn’t push Seiryuu off. He stays there, leaning into the touch. Seiryuu takes his chin in his hand and slowly turns Haizaki’s face toward him. Their eyes lock and Seiryuu gets so close that if he moves a little bit more forward, their noses are going to touch.
Seiryuu wants to kiss him so badly, but he feels like it’s too soon. That they are not on that level yet. And Seiryuu wants to take this thing slow, he wants to savour every moment.
Haizaki puts a hand on Seiryuu’s thigh and squeeze it in affection, “Thank you for today. Let’s do it again. Soon,” and he’s whispering, words touching Seiryuu’s face like a kiss. He smiles.
“Sure, you know where to find me.”
“You know, Bookface, I think I really like you.”