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The first time, Sasuke had been annoyed.
It seemed that he was always annoyed at something, but Haruno Sakura took the cake.
He was so annoyed and angry with her and how she always stuck to him, like she needed him. He was annoyed at how easily she could control her chakra, how she always said what was on her mind, how she never backed down, and how she looked to him for approval, as if his opinion of her mattered.
He was annoyed with her pink hair that sat just right on her shoulders, whether it was long or short. He was annoyed with her smile, and how it made his stomach feel uneasy, and that no matter how much he scowled at her, she always had one ready for him. He was annoyed with her eyes the most, their green hue threatened to drag him into a pool of leaves if he wasn't careful. It had been those eyes he had been looking into when it happened.
He didn't mean to do it, it's not like he cared about her, but she had just done something incredibly stupid, or brave, and he was annoyed, albeit a little impressed. She had just finished saying his name, he was annoyed with how she said his name too, and was leaning dangerously close to him when he pushed her forehead away using his pointer and middle finger.
He took in her confused look for only a moment before retracting his hand and stuffing it in his pocket, quickly turning away so she wouldn't see the blood rushing to his cheeks and ears. He mumbled a hasty word of acknowledgement before hurrying away from her without saying anything more.
As he raced off, he cursed his hand for moving on its own accord, wondering how it could betray him like that. He decided it didn't mean anything like it did with his brother, he had just wanted her to get away from him. That's it, he thought, nothing more.
Deep down though, stuck with the thoughts he would never acknowledge, he knew it wasn't just that, and he knew he wanted to say so much more than just a few words. He wanted to tell her that she didn't need to seek his approval because she already had it, or that she didn't need to fight for his affection, because as much as he denied it, he cared about her. He cared a lot.
He also knew that he couldn't say any of that, because he had a mission, and he had to kill. He couldn't drag her down with him or have her getting in his way, so he didn't utter a word. He just kept his head down and promised nothing like that would ever happen again.
He was unaware of how many times he would break that oath.
x
The second time, Sasuke had been making a promise to her.
He promised he would come back, confirmed his love and admiration, and thanked her all in one. It was a spur of the moment action, very unlike him, but she had asked to go with him on his journey, and though that was very predictable of her, he softened. Or maybe it was because it was so predictable of Sakura that he softened. Either way, he couldn't just leave after explaining his reasoning when she had gotten that look on her face.
Sasuke hated that look, sad and lonely and so not Sakura-like. He hated it even more when he was the one causing it, so he promised her there would be another time. He secured that promise by lightly tapping her forehead, just as his own had been tapped in the past. It still wasn't the same as his brother's, but he didn't think that was a bad thing.
As he gave his final parting word, his fingers still on her forehead, he stared into the eyes that used to threaten to carry him away somewhere else when he was younger, somewhere he knew was safe. He thought about giving in and sinking into those eyes, letting himself feel real, true warmth again.
Sasuke took that thought and stored it in his mind, saving it for later when he felt the longing he knew would come with distance between them. Maybe someday he would finally become surrounded by that warmth, but today was not that day. He had work to do.
Besides, he thought the warm color he saw flood Sakura's cheeks would be enough for him for now.
As he was walking, he couldn't help but think of those indescribably green eyes, and how they had glowed so beautifully at him in the sun. He allowed himself a smirk before once again smoothing his features, and at night, when he rested under the stars from his first day of traveling, he noticed how dim they shined in comparison to those eyes.
x
The third time, it was a proposal.
He was traveling once again, but this time he wasn't alone. It happened when they were resting. They had been camping in the same spot for several days now, staying in one place to properly heal after a particularly intense battle with a band of rouges. It had been a surprise ambush, and the rouges did not go down easily. They had won the fight, but not before both were injured, Sasuke's leg especially torn up.
Afterwards, they leaned on each other as they stumbled into the clearing where they would set up camp, collapsing in a heap on the ground, not caring about how dirty they were getting, just thankful to finally be able to catch their breath. They had been resting only a moment before Sakura started healing him. He protested, telling her to worry about herself, but she wouldn't have it.
As he watched her work, he was painfully aware of how much he owed her.
Now he was watching her again under the light of a thousand falling stars. Word had spread of a meteor shower that would light up the night like it was daytime, and they had been on their way to a cliff side where they could watch uninterrupted when they had been ambushed and forced to improvise.
He thought they had ended up alright though, for now they sat side by side on a fallen log with the dying fire illuminating each other's faces in a ghostly orange light. Sakura's hair shown brightly under a mixture of dim red and white light, reflecting a whole new color of pink that Sasuke decided was his favorite. Her sparkling eyes were turned towards the heavens, but that didn't stop him from seeing how intensely she was watching the stars fall, and her mouth was slightly parted as she expressed her wonder.
He thought she looked like a painting, beautiful and captivating to all who saw, but in her own world, unaware of anything around her. He could have gazed at her in that moment for the rest of his life, and Sasuke would have been content and at peace.
Until she turned her green eyes to him, then he became the subject of her intense stare, and something burned within him. He didn't think he could handle the pressure that was building in his chest.
She had only been looking at him for a short time before he gently placed his fingers on her forehead, right under the purple diamond she had worked so hard for. He smiled softly when he saw her eyes go wide, knowing that she understood what he was asking. He also knew, as he took his hand away and pressed a kiss to her lips, what her answer was.
They both understood deep in their souls, as they exchanged whispered confessions under a starry sky, that they could be miles apart or right next to each other as they were then and nothing would change. Their bond was secure, their love true, and no matter what they faced, as long as they had each other, they would be fine.
x
The fourth time, it was out of pride.
He had just been tasked with another mission when he got the news that his wife had gone into labor. He had received the letter and immediately felt the need to return to her side. He strongly cursed the timing, but thankfully, it wasn't a mission that would take years to complete. Enter the stronghold, retrieve the object, leave. He gauged it would only take a few days to complete.
Unfortunately, the stronghold was stronger than expected, and it ended up taking him almost two weeks to finish the mission. It took another day and a half before he was home again.
When he arrived after what felt like centuries, it was in the middle of the night. He had been quietly making his way to the room where he knew Sakura would be sleeping when he heard a small cry. He halted too quickly, almost tripping over himself, before slowly retracing his steps to the door he had just passed and the source of the noise.
He heard another cry. A baby's cry. His heart hammered in his chest with anticipation as he reached for the door handle and stepped into what used to be a guest room, but had been transformed into a nursery.
The old gray walls had been painted over with a light blue, and a new wardrobe had replaced the bed that had once been connected to the wall to his left. A tiny table and chairs occupied one far corner, and what he decided must be a changing station, Sasuke wasn't really sure, was placed on the far wall, under a large window looking out over the front yard of their house. He noticed the book and a blanket in the comfortable looking chair to his right had been hastily thrown there, the blanket hanging over the side and the book laid over one of the arm rests, saving the reader's spot.
The reader, who Sasuke knew to be Sakura, was now leaning over the cradle in the middle of the room. He could tell immediately how tired she was. She gave it away in her posture, and how she leaned on the side of the cradle as she hunched over it, and the messy way her hair was thrown into a bun. She was wearing her favorite set of matching pajamas, the fluffy purple ones she only put on when she was stressed.
She had been calming the small child occupying the cradle by humming softly and tickling their cheek, when she turned suddenly and dropped into a fighting stance, all signs of exhaustion gone, nothing but protective determination left as she stared down the intruder who dared enter her house.
She relaxed immediately and let out a breath of relief when she recognized the shadowed figure as her husband. Sasuke didn't move when she relaxed, somehow feeling like he was an intruder, even though this was his home.
He still didn't move when Sakura offered him a loving smile. He just stood there, gaze shifting between his wife and the tiny lump in the cradle that was squirming under a pile of blankets, trying to make their presence known. He felt as if his feet were glued to the floor, so unsure of what to do.
After what seemed like ages, but was really just an awkwardly long amount of time, Sakura let out a small chuckle and pulled him towards her. She planted a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, welcoming him home, before moving out of the way so he could look into the cradle and see their child for the first time.
Words couldn't describe what Sasuke felt when he laid eyes on his daughter for the first time, screaming and wrapped in a soft red blanket.
When he saw her eyes squeezed tight, her chubby cheeks, and her impossibly small fists waving in the air, he had an almost overwhelming desire to take away all the evil in the world so she would never experience any of it. He wanted to take this tiny child into his cloak and keep her wrapped up in a blanket forever, never letting anything hurt or harm her.
Instead, he reached his hand down to gently caress her head with his remaining hand. His smiled softly when she took her tiny hand and wrapped it around his pointer finger. His one finger seemed to be gigantic compared to how minute her entire hand was.
"What have you named her?" He asked in a hushed tone, keeping his eyes on his daughter. She had calmed now that she had something to play with, and a smile had taken over her features, replacing the frown that had been there when he first saw her face, her tiny grin mirroring her father's.
Sasuke felt a flower of love and pride bloom in his chest, overtaking him in an instant. His breath caught in his throat at the speed of the warmth that spread from the feeling in his chest, reaching all the way to his toes and the finger that his child grasped.
"Sarada." Sakura responded quietly, leaning into his side. He nodded his approval.
"Uchiha Sarada." He whispered, almost to himself, not quite believing it. After so long, his clan was starting to come back to life.
He looked to the woman next to him, who was still gazing at the child, and felt the flower grow. He took his hand back, pulled back from her until he was facing her full on, and pressed two of his fingers to her forehead fondly. She looked up at him with such a brilliant smile, the dark circles under her eyes almost disappeared. Almost.
"You should sleep. I'll watch her. We'll talk tomorrow." He told her, tucking some flyaways that had escaped her bun behind her ear, his hand lingering on her cheek. He softly kissed her forehead, making sure she knew how proud of her he was. Her bright smile turned into a sleepy one as she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. He wished for what seemed like the thousandth time that he could formulate the right words to tell her how incredibly happy he was right now, but he had never been good with words, and he didn't think that would change out of the blue.
Still, as he watched her leave to get some much needed rest, the painful longing he felt in his chest from his travels came crashing back, and he wished to tell her everything.
He wanted to tell her about the people he met in the villages he's visited, and how grateful for his work they are. He wanted to tell her that he was doing good, that he had a reason to be away. He wanted her to know that he misses her all the time, even now, when she's just in the other room he misses her greatly. He wanted her to understand that he wouldn't leave if he didn't have to, because Sakura and the child he'd turned back to are his home, and they always will be.
Though, as he gazed at his daughter, their daughter, he knew that she grasped everything he couldn't say, because of course, he's her home too.
Xx
The first time it happened, Sasuke had been stunned.
They had been standing at the gate to their village saying their goodbyes when she had surprised him.
They had spent many days together after he came home to meet Sarada for the first time, but he had been tasked with another mission, and he didn't have any choice but to fulfill it. He would have stayed with his little family forever if he could, and a week or so had not been nearly long enough. Still, he was thankful for the time they spent together.
"And here's your lunch!" Sakura said merrily as she handed him a bento box wrapped in cloth, which he took gratefully. She continued to smile at him as his hand came to rest at his side, which just made him scowl.
She had Sarada tucked into her left arm, and used her free hand to wave Sarada's in a small goodbye movement. Again, he wanted to tell her the things trapped in his head and heart, but struggled to find the words. He was getting frustrated with himself, this is not the note he wanted to leave on. He didn't want to leave at all, and if he could just communicate that...
Instead, he offered a quick goodbye and turned around curtly, feeling very much like he did when he was younger and first tapped her head, confused and angry with himself.
He was cursing himself for being so unwilling when he felt Sakura grab his elbow. As he stopped and turned to face her, he felt the lightest tap of her knuckle on his forehead. He was so taken aback and focused on her hand that he almost missed what she told him.
"I know." Was all she said as she brought her hand back to herself, holding it against her chest. It was all that she needed to say, because with those two words, every frustrated and angry thought Sasuke had vanished in his mind, leaving no trace of ever being there.
"Okay." He replied softly. "Okay." He repeated, closing his eyes and letting out a relieved breath.
He looked at his wife and Sarada once more, giving both of them a quick caress with his hand, before he turned away and began his journey, feeling more at peace than he had in ages.
x
The second time, Sasuke had felt helpless.
He had only been in the village for a day before he found himself in danger, something he was very familiar with. Only now, it wasn't just him. The entire village was at stake, meaning his wife and daughter's lives were at stake.
At the moment, he and Naruto were engaged in a fierce battle with their enemy, a strange octopus entity seeking revenge for something that happened long ago with the second hokage. They were desperately trying to keep it from reaching the village, stalling for time as everyone evacuated, but they were both losing stamina. Other ninjas were fighting beside them, but they were struggling as well. The entity had a seemingly unending pool of power they must have stored up over years and years of remaining dormant.
As Sasuke sped toward the glowing figure, ready to deal a deadly strike, he was suddenly plucked out of the air by a tentacle that had wrapped around his leg.
Normally, he wouldn't have gotten caught, but he had been fighting a long time and his blood was blurring his vision, and he hadn't had enough time to rest properly when he returned from his journey, so he found himself being pulled through the air violently. He heard a sickening crack, and felt his ankle break. At least it was his bad leg, the one that had been hurt by the rouges so long ago.
As he howled in pain, he was abruptly released and flung into the surrounding forest at an alarmingly fast speed. He faintly heard Naruto's worried voice as he whirled through the air towards the ground.
Luckily, he hit a few tree branches before his back slammed into the trunk of a particularly thick tree. If it weren't for the branches and leaves slowing him down just a little bit, he would have surely died on impact.
Nevertheless, when he did land, he felt another crack rip through his spine before immense pain took his breath away. He stilled immediately, knowing he had probably broken his back, and if he wasn't careful or moved too quickly, the consequences could be disastrous. He huffed as he tried to clear his head and catch his breath again, but to no avail. Pain was corrupting his every thought, and it was making anything other than staying in the basin he created in the tree impossible.
He set his jaw. His family was waiting for him, and his best friend was fighting for his life. He couldn't just sit here and die, though the darkness clouding his vision suggested otherwise.
Screw impossible. He thought as he dragged himself out of the crater in the tree and immediately fell on his face.
He growled into the dirt and leaves. Something was seriously wrong with his back, but he couldn't stop. He inched himself along the forest floor, crawling at a humiliatingly slow pace. He wasn't proud. If anyone saw him in this state, he would never live it down, but he didn't have a choice.
As he struggled to make his way back to the battle, he was faintly aware of a voice calling to him from the trees surrounding him. He dismissed it as a hallucination from the pain, and continued on. He was making good time, considering the circumstances, until a pair of feet landed in front of his face.
"Move." He muttered hoarsely, not stopping and not caring who had found him, only wanting to return to where he was needed.
"Sasuke-kun!" Now that did stop him, and he fought to look up into the eyes of his horrified wife as she crouched over him. Relief that knowing she was okay was overtaken by fear for Sarada and fear that she was here.
Later, he'd think it was foolish to worry about her like that, when she was more than capable of protecting herself, but in that moment pain was clouding his thoughts.
Sasuke was about to ask her what she was doing here, when she quickly moved behind him where he couldn't see. He knew better than to turn his head to see what she was doing with his broken back, he trusted her anyways, and as he felt the warmth of her chakra surrounding him, he closed his eyes and sighed. She was taking away his pain, as she so often did, and his head began to clear.
"Sarada?" He managed after a few minutes of healing on her part.
"Safe." That was all he needed. Before Sakura had finished, he began to get up and start towards the fight, which he could hear was still raging on. He found he was able to stand and walk again, but he didn't think he could do much more.
"Stop! I'm not finished, if you go back to fight now you may never walk again!" She had rushed around to put herself in his path, effectively cutting off his exit. He stared her down. Sakura didn't budge.
"I have to." He growled, making his way past her. Sasuke heard her huff angrily.
That was the last thing he heard before he was pulled into the darkness he had been resisting all this time.
-
When he came to, he was flying through the air again. He didn't know what was happening or where he was, all he knew was that there were trees passing him at great speed, and he was slung over a shoulder that, despite how small it felt, didn't seem to be having trouble carrying him.
He had just concocted a plan to escape whoever was carrying him when he felt his captor slow to a stop. They were in a clearing now, and he was aware of more people around him, other than just the one carrying him.
He suddenly felt himself being hauled off the small shoulder and onto what felt like a cot. When he was finally able to see the face of his captor, he found himself staring at the most beautiful pair of eyes he'd ever seen.
"Sakura?" He asked, not understanding the situation at all. Why were they outside? Why did everything hurt? Why were other ninjas around him on cots with bandages covering their limbs, and medical ninjas rushing around? Was there a fight going on? Where was Naruto?
The image of Naruto fighting a giant glowing octopus was pulled from his memory and thrust to the front of his brain. He felt his eyes grow wide as he recalled what had happened.
He tried to push himself up and out of the cot, but pain ripped through his body, and he let out a hiss between clenched teeth as he fell on his elbow. Even though he could barely see, he fought Sakura's hands as they pressed him back into the cot.
"I need to go." He told her, trying to get up again and failing.
"You cannot fight right now Sasuke-kun." Sakura insisted before waving to somebody Sasuke didn't see and didn't care about.
"I have to. Naruto's-" Before he could finish, his breath was stolen away from him as another bolt of pain raced up his spine. He growled. Anyone else would have been frightened at such an animalistic display, but Sakura simply scrunched her nose.
"You don't have to anything right now. Naruto's fine. There will be other battles, but you need to sit this one out." She told him as another medical ninja ran to her side. She exchanged a few quick words with him, which Sasuke didn't catch, before rising from her spot beside his cot. "Stay here." Her voice left no room for disagreement.
He didn't want to stay here though, and he tried one last time to leave his cot. The medical ninja Sakura had spoken with took her place and tried to force Sasuke back. It took some fighting, but eventually Sasuke was lying down once again. He felt a chakra that wasn't quite as warm as Sakura's, but still soothing, surround his abdomen, and that made it much harder to resist the darkness that was pulling at him again.
His eyes were heavy, but he still sought out Sakura. She had gone to the other side of his cot and was watching him with a worried look on her face. When it seemed she was satisfied with how the medical ninja was treating her husband, she began to turn away.
As she moved, Sasuke reached out and grabbed her hand before she was too far away, staring at her, something like betrayal in his eyes. She wasn't about to leave him and return to the very fight she was so determined to make him sit out of, was she?
"Stay here." She repeated as she took her hand out of his and tapped his forehead gently with her knuckle, "I'll see you soon." Sakura promised. Then, she turned and lept into the trees, making her way back to the battle.
Sasuke didn't remember much after that, just the angry shouts he threw around and the crushing feeling of uselessness.
-
When Sasuke woke for the second time from the darkness, it was in a much more comfortable bed than the cot.
It only took a few seconds for Sasuke to realize he was in a hospital bed, squinting to see through the afternoon light streaming through the window and pooling on the floor to his right. It took him a little longer to notice the dull ache of his back and the throbbing in his ankle.
It took him even longer to notice the sleeping person in the chair to his left, resting their pink head on the back of the chair, eyes closed and mouth slightly open, a little trail of drool spilling out.
Sasuke gazed at his wife with an amused look. That was before he remembered that she had done so much to make him stay down and stay out of the fight, then turned around and went back herself. His features hardened, and the amusement disappeared from his face.
"Sakura." He stated, loud enough to wake her up. She jumped slightly, and wiped the drool from her face before meeting his eyes with her own sleepy ones.
When she did, the tiredness that remained left completely, and she smiled at him with the most annoying look on her face. Sasuke had thought of many things to tell her, but when Sakura smiled at him like that, nothing else seemed to matter, and he forgot all about being mad at her. That's what made it so annoying.
"Hey. Told you I'd see you soon." She told him, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the edge of his bed, placing her face in her hands.
He had just opened his mouth to give her a curt retort, when she jumped out of her seat.
"Wait right here, I'll be right back." She said enthusiastically, and hurried out of the room, unaware that in the state he's in, Sasuke couldn't go anywhere. Or she was aware, and she was teasing him. He scowled when he thought it was probably the latter.
He didn't wait long before his hospital room door opened again, and Sakura stepped through, her arms wrapped tightly around Sarada. Despite his terrible aches and bad mood, he felt as if the room brightened considerably when he saw his daughter.
Sakura made her way over to his side, and lightly placed the child on the bed next to him. Sarada was older, almost two, and he still felt pride burst in his chest when he saw her. She could walk now, and Sasuke offered his daughter his one hand for balance as she made her way clumsily into his lap.
The three of them spent the rest of the day together in that hospital room, and husband and wife were finally able to catch up.
He told her of his travels, and the things he had to face, good and bad. He recalled to her the story of the fisherman who saved his life in the desert, and the village that needed him more than he expected. He explained the celebrations he goes to sometimes, and how he always wishes she were next to him when he attended one. He knows he doesn't need to say that, she understands, but he does anyway.
And when his wife smiled at him, and his daughter fell asleep on his chest, Sasuke thought he could attend the grandest celebration of the century, and still want this moment right here instead.
Because they were his home, and he would always long for home.