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Some days, it felt like the weight of the world lay on Kyoshi’s shoulders.
When everyone thought that Yun was the Avatar, Kyoshi had to admit that she was often jealous of him, and of all the attention, all the training, all the importance that came with being the Avatar. But now that she was the Avatar, she realized the one thing that she had often forgotten about was the responsibility: the responsibility to settle disputes, to protect, to give hope and courage to those who had none. And no matter how much she tried, how hard she worked, how much she built her reputation on justice and strength, how much she hid her fear and trepidation and weariness behind her makeup, some days it was just all too much for her. She was tired of being the strong one who everyone looked up to. She didn’t want to be Avatar Kyoshi. She wanted to be just-plain-Kyoshi: former servant girl, sworn daofei, friend, girlfriend.
It had been one of those days. Team Avatar (formerly/also known as the Flying Opera Company- who would’ve thought that a group of bandits would ever be among the Avatar’s closest allies and friends) had been traveling around the Earth Kingdom for weeks, settling disputes between governors, towns, and families that had been warring for a hundred years. It was EXHAUSTING- when one problem was solved, another almost immediately rose in its place.
Kyoshi let out a long sigh as she and Rangi made their way to their campsite, which was set some distance away from the others (Kirima said she didn’t want to hear them do “whatever it is that you two do when you’re alone”… Kyoshi rolled her eyes and Rangi glared at her- as if they had the energy to do anything besides immediately fall asleep these days!). When they reached the campsite, Kyoshi bodily threw herself into a seated position on the ground and began taking off her armor. She placed her fans and headdress in a cloth wrapping to protect them; they would go back in her trunk when they went inside the tent to sleep.
“You did well today,” Rangi said, undoing her own armor. “I’m starting to think that you might actually be made of Avatar material after all.” She gave Kyoshi a wink and a wry smile.
Rangi’s eyebrows furrowed when Kyoshi didn’t smile back. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m just so tired,” Kyoshi replied, removing her gloves and staring at the healed burns on her hands. “I feel like all I do is give. I give, and give, and give, and I don’t get anything in return. I just feel so…”
“Burned out?” Rangi finished. She grabbed Kyoshi’s hand and gently kissed her palm before nuzzling at it for a moment. Kyoshi felt herself relax; Rangi knew very well that Kyoshi always relaxed when she played with her hands. After she’d finished nuzzling at her palm, she kissed it again and then twined their fingers together and rested it in her lap.
“Exactly,” Kyoshi said, releasing a slightly more relaxed sigh.
Rangi released Kyoshi’s hand with a squeeze and turned to a bucket filled with cool water. She grabbed a clean rag and wet it in the water, then came back to Kyoshi and began cleaning the makeup from her face. Kyoshi closed her eyes as Rangi scrubbed the paint away, glad that the water cascading down her face hid the tears that were mixed with it.
After a few minutes of gentle scrubbing, Rangi set down the rag. “There,” she whispered. “All clean.”
Kyoshi opened her eyes and found Rangi staring at her, a soft expression on her face that she only ever used when looking at Kyoshi, and only when they were in private. Rangi reached out and cupped Kyoshi’s cheek, her thumb softly caressing her cheekbone.
“I think you have even more freckles now than you did when I met you,” she said with a smile.
Kyoshi turned her head so that she could place a kiss against Rangi’s palm. “I thought you liked my freckles.”
“I’m definitely not complaining about it.” Rangi pulled Kyoshi down so that her head rested in her lap. She undid the tie holding Kyoshi’s hair back and ran her fingers through her hair soothingly. “I think that you need a break.”
Kyoshi sighed. “I can’t. The world needs me.”
“The world can wait,” Rangi said assertively. “Have you ever heard the saying ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup?’ You’re an empty cup right now, Kyoshi. I don’t know how much more you can give. You need to rest and be away from the world for a while. You need to refill. The world will be ok without you for a few days.”
“Where will we go?”
“I have a place in mind,” Rangi replied cryptically.
“And what will everyone else do while we’re gone?”
“They’re fully capable of taking care of themselves. You worry too much,” Rangi said, giving Kyoshi a playful tap on the nose. She bent down and kissed Kyoshi’s temple. “Now, let’s go to bed. I want us to get an early start tomorrow.”
Kyoshi let out a tired laugh. “Ok, boss. Whatever you say.”
**
Five Days Later
It had been the most wonderful 5 days of Kyoshi’s life. They had left the Flying Opera Company with STRICT instructions not to get themselves into any trouble, and PengPeng flew them to an isolated island that Rangi had learned about while studying maps in school. It was, as far as they could tell, uninhabited, but it was one of the most beautiful places that Kyoshi had ever seen: turquoise water, white sand, trees with the most exquisite and delicious fruit she’d ever eaten. They spent their days swimming, fishing, cooking the fish they’d caught over fire, and practicing bending (Kyoshi still wasn’t quite able to master sandbending, but she did figure out a way to airbend sand into her opponents face, to Rangi’s great annoyance), and they spent their nights doing, as Kirima would put it, “whatever it is that you two do when you’re alone.” They hadn’t been able to be alone in so long, and they hadn’t be able to be TOGETHER in so long. It was exactly the break that both of them had needed.
On the morning of their fifth and last day on the island, Kyoshi woke to the mixed sound of birds chirping and waves lapping upon the shore outside of the tent. She opened her eyes slowly and smiled when the first thing she saw was Rangi’s bare back. She took it all in- her hair, free of its topknot, flowing just to her shoulders; the solid, well-developed muscles of her back below the soft skin; the knots of her spine; the gentle curve of her waist; the two dimples at the base of her spine just above where the blanket had pooled at her hips. This was Rangi at her most private, her most vulnerable. It gave Kyoshi a gentle tug in her heart to know that Rangi trusted her so much to let her guard down like this. She was the only person who had ever seen Rangi this way. They were each others’ firsts. She wriggled close to her, wrapped an arm around Rangi’s waist, and pressed her face into the back of her neck, breathing her in. She smelled like sweat, sex, salt, and something deeper and sweeter than could only be described as “Rangi.” Kyoshi wished she could bottle it up and carry it with her always.
Rangi let out a satisfied sigh and turned in Kyoshi’s arms, burying her face in the soft place between her neck and collarbone. She inhaled deeply, and Kyoshi knew that she was doing the same thing that Kyoshi had done moments earlier, just breathing her in, trying to memorize her scent.
“Did you sleep well?” Kyoshi asked in a whisper.
“The best,” Rangi replied in a croaky voice still filled with sleep. “Someone wore me out last night.”
“Huh, I wonder who that could be?” Kyoshi said with a quiet laugh.
Rangi gave Kyoshi her special soft look again before pulling her head down and kissing her soundly. It was one of those knee-buckling, head-tilting kisses that Rangi was so damn good at, all exploring tongues and gently bitten lips and quiet, deep moans. Kyoshi rolled them over so that Rangi was on top of her. They continued kissing for several minutes, Rangi sometimes pausing from Kyoshi’s lips to mouth across her jawbone and suck at her neck, or kiss her behind her ear, a spot she knew was sensitive. Kyoshi could feel Rangi’s mouth stretch into a smile against her neck or mouth when she involuntarily let out a moan as she kissed and sucked.
Finally, after what felt like hours, Rangi placed a final, firm kiss on Kyoshi’s mouth before laying her head on Kyoshi’s chest, tucking it close beneath her chin. They spent a few minutes in silence. Kyoshi ran the tips of her fingers up and down Rangi’s spine, while Rangi played with a piece of hair laying against Kyoshi’s collarbone.
Rangi broke the silence. “I actually have something that I wanted to give you.” She sat up and made her way over to her knapsack, where she spent a few minutes digging around for something. Kyoshi could tell that she wasn’t actually digging for it, but was almost stalling, as if she was trying to get up her courage.
Kyoshi sat up, too. “Rangi, what-“
Kyoshi’s question turned into a gasp as Rangi pulled out a small box from her bag. She took a deep breath and knelt in front of Kyoshi, and took her left hand in hers.
“I’m… I’m not good at this kind of thing,” she said, uncharacteristically bashful. She looked at the ground, but Kyoshi reached out and placed her fingers under her chin, tilting her head up.
“Hey, it’s ok,” she whispered encouragingly.
Rangi took another deep breath. “I liked you from the moment I met you. And I loved you longer than you even know… long before you were the Avatar. I don’t love you because you’re the Avatar. I love you because you’re Kyoshi. You’re good, and just, and beautiful, inside and out. You bring out the best in others, and in yourself. You’re not afraid of doing the right thing, even when it’s the hard thing. You’re humble, and you try so damn hard to be a good leader, even when I know it doesn’t always come naturally. You treat me with kindness and respect. You see all of me, the good and the bad, and love me for it anyway.
I know I said I wish I could give you your due… the wisest teachers, armies to defend you, and a palace to live in. I still can’t give you any of that, but I can give you the one thing that I do have and will always have. I can give you myself. And I want to do that, if you’ll have me. You’re my first, Kyoshi. My first love, my first partner, my first everything. And I want you to be my last everything, too.
I know we have to keep it hidden, and that kills me inside, but I don’t want to let that stop us. I want us to be together for as long as we both live. I want us to build a life together. And even if we have to keep it a secret, we can still do it, together.”
She opened up the box to reveal a beautiful jade ring, covered with delicate and intricate carvings. She took a last deep breath “Kyoshi, will you marry me?”
Rangi’s face fell when Kyoshi burst out laughing (later, Kyoshi would say it was payback for Rangi pushing her away the first time she kissed her).
“No, no, it’s not what you think,” Kyoshi said, stumbling away from Rangi and over to her bag, where she ripped through it, frantically looking for something. “Here,” she said, pulling out a box of her own and rushing back to Rangi. “You beat me to it! I was going to ask you on the beach at sunset.”
Rangi’s face lit up, and she made a choking noise that indicated that she was laughing and crying at the same time.
Rangi wiped away a few tears. “You still owe me an answer, stupid.”
“Yes,” Kyoshi said with a laugh, wiping away tears of her own. “Yes, yes, yes, always yes.”
“I was hoping you’d say that,” Rangi said, slipping the ring onto Kyoshi’s left ring finger before grasping Kyoshi’s face in her hands and kissing her soundly.
Kyoshi smiled into the kiss, and said against Rangi’s lips, “Now stand up, it’s my turn to ask you.”
Rangi laughed and stood up proudly as Kyoshi bent down on one knee.
“I’m probably worse at this than you are… I’ve thought that I’m the luckiest person alive these past few years, to have you as my girl. You’re so strong, and brave, and kind, and honorable, and beautiful, inside and out. You’re the toughest person I know. You’re tough on everyone, but you’re toughest on yourself. You bring out the best in yourself, and in others. When I’m with you, I want to be the best version of myself that I can be, because I know you expect nothing less. I can’t see myself spending my life with anyone but you. I’ve been yours for a long time, and I want to be yours forever, if you’ll have me. Will you marry me?”
Rangi gasped when Kyoshi opened the box and pulled out a dark amber ring, almost the same color as Rangi’s eyes. She had found the piece of amber months before on one of her travels and had found an expert jeweler in Ba Sing Se to craft it into a ring.
Rangi was at this point crying so hard that she couldn’t answer- she just nodded emphatically.
“Yeah?” Kyoshi asked hopefully.
“Yes, Always and forever yes.”
Kyoshi slid the ring onto Rangi’s finger, and it was now her turn to kiss her. They spent a few moments simply holding each other close, reveling in the pure joy of the moment.
Rangi took their hands and pressed them together so that their rings were next to each other. “They’re perfect,” she said softly. “And if anyone asks, we both proposed on the beach, got it? I would rather die than anyone find out that we were naked, got it?”
Kyoshi laughed.
Rangi’s smile fell slightly. “But we can’t wear them openly.”
“No,” Kyoshi said sadly. Much of the world, particularly the Earth Kingdom, wasn’t open to anyone who was different than the norm. They wouldn’t be accepted by most. But they WERE accepted and loved by those who were closest to them- their friends, and Rangi’s mother. And really, that was all that mattered to either of them.
“I did think of something though,” Rangi said, moving back to her bag. She pulled out two thin platinum necklaces. “We could wear them on these when we’re out in the world, so they’d always be with us. They’re platinum, so there’s no way anyone could EVER bend them, even if someone figured out a way to bend metal. They’re unbreakable, just like our bond.”
“I love it,” Kyoshi said. “But not nearly as much as I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Rangi said, kissing her girlfriend- no, fiancée. “I’ll always love you. Always and forever.”
“As long as I live,” Kyoshi said. And she meant it- because for the rest of her life, all 230 long years, she spent every day loving Rangi, who would always and forever be her girl. After being empty for so long, Kyoshi's cup was very, very full.