Work Text:
Well, there was only one thing that needed to be done once she realized that Brewer had tapped David as their alternate to replace Twyla. She dropped Roland off to begin the pre-game festivities and drove Roland’s truck to Ray’s house/business emporium. There was no way David Rose was any better at baseball than Johnny; she’d seen both of them run and Johnny was definitely better. Ray would come in very handy.
She let herself in, finding Ray behind his desk. “Hey, Ray.”
“Oh, Ronnie, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Ray stood, gesturing to his various displays. “Need some closet reorganization? Perhaps a relaxing vacation?”
“You coming to the game?” Ronnie asked, crossing her arms and getting straight to the point. Ray could talk incessantly about one business or the other if you weren’t careful.
Unperturbed by Ronnie’s brusqueness, Ray smiled and gave a quick head shake. “Of course. If I’m not there, who will cover the game for Schitt’s Happening with Ray? It’s my new blog/podcast that covers all of the happenings around Schitt’s Creek. People really seem to enjoy this off-brand cricket. I have gotten several comments on my coverage of your league.”
Ray knew it was baseball. Ronnie has said so before but he always comes back with something along the lines of off-brand cricket. Years of friendship reminds her that this is Ray’s version of teasing. He’s trying to see if he can goad her into a response. She wasn’t going to fight with Ray on this one today. It’s not like it was for official town forms like the council meeting three years ago where Ray wanted to change the name of Little League on the summer recreation forms.
“Good. I want a set of the pictures when Brewer inevitably loses.”
Ray sighed, hands falling but his smile only getting smaller. “I do not know why you have such a thing about Patrick. He is a lovely man, excellent roommate, tidy, and comes to work on time.”
Ronnie looked at the fingers Ray had ticked off. “You’re biased. Besides, that thumb doesn’t even live here anymore.”
Ray gave another quick head shake as he spoke with cheerful sarcasm. “Yes, it is I who is biased.”
“My point was only who just rolls into town and completely butts in on someone’s business like he has a right to?” Ronnie crossed her arms as she scowled. “Trouble is, Brewer thinks he knows everything.”
Ray smoothed his hands out in the air as if smoothing imaginary curtains. “Patrick has an MBA, Ronnie. He’s a very talented businessman who gives excellent advice, and the truth is, he saw potential in the mess that was David’s idea and made it viable.”
Ronnie frowned at Ray who continued to pay her absolutely no mind. David may not have fallen that far off the crazy Rose Family Tree but none of them were dummies. Also, Ronnie had backed him up over Christmas World before Patrick was ever involved.
“You should have heard the voicemails. He kept playing them and replaying them, and writing notes. He was very excited.”
“He wanted to get in David’s pants and got into his business as well. You shouldn’t mix business and pleasure.”
Ray gave her a familiar, chiding click of his tongue. “That’s why when you were with Karen you charged her full price for the bathroom reno and didn’t pay me yourself for the reorganization of her linen closet.”
The relationship with Karen had run its course a few months back. While it had been a slow unraveling and Ronnie had known leaving it was right, that dig still smarted. Part of the reason you shouldn’t do those kinds of things, people took advantage. Trouble was, Ronnie had wanted Karen to take advantage, to be impressed. Ronnie let her arms drop in acquiescence although she’d never admit it to Ray. “I’ve got to go.”
“Does this mean I can partake in the barbeque offerings afterwards?” Ray asked, leaning toward her hopefully.
“Sure.” Ronnie rolled her eyes and headed for the door.
“Excellent. Do you know what is on the menu? Should I bring my own veggie burgers or do you think they will have enough veggie options?”
“Just be there.” Opening the door, Ronnie glances back at Ray and points at him. “I want pictures of the Cafe Tropical’s historic loss that I can rub in Brewer’s face.”
Ray sat at his desk and frowned at her for the first time. “You should forgive him for the whole mess over the bathroom, Ronnie. He felt very bad. And from what you shared with me, it was a very nice gift-basket.”
Ronnie frowned deeper at Ray. “Perhaps after he’s done feeling very bad over the fact that he insinuated only men play baseball, earlier today, I’ll consider it.”
“Fair point.”
Ronnie closed the door and headed out towards Roland’s truck. A smile curved on her lips as she hopped into the truck. Today was going to be a great day.
~*~
Ronnie was eating at the Cafe for the first time since the fall of Bob's Garage to Cafe Tropical, a week ago. Thankfully, Twyla had been as uninvolved as Bob, and therefore had no real stake in the game. Twyla had no knowing smirks or sly jokes about how David Rose, of all people, hit an in-the-park home run. Twyla had been her usual cheerful, sunny self as she took Ronnie’s order and dropped off Ronnie’s turkey club with fries.
Ronnie saw Ray swing through the door of the cafe and immediately focused on dipping a fry into hot sauce mixed in with mayo. The lack of attention did nothing to help her, as Ray slid right into the booth across from her with a fresh photo-envelope from Shutter Up in his hands that hit the table with his hands. “Oh, Ronnie. I have your photos from the big game.”
“Stuff it, Ray. I saw the blog,” Ronnie said, shoving the fry in her mouth.
His blog had proclaimed Miracle Hit by Sub David Rose Rescues Cafe Tropical from the Jaws of Defeat. and an image of David running the bases, bat dragging behind him. The article had gone on about how the low-scoring off-brand cricket game had ended in a surprise upset with David Rose hitting while his father stood in the outfield celebrating him.
“Oh, but you asked for pictures of the historic day. I still don’t know why a sport that only lasts a few hours rather than days and has such paltry scores can be considered historic, but David’s winning at bat was quite impressive.”
Ronnie frowned at Ray, narrowing her eyes. “Thanks.”
Ray didn’t pick up on any of her signals, but instead flipped his hands around at the wrist before opening his briefcase. “Oh, also, while I was watching your off-brand cricket match I had an idea.”
Ray took out another packet and opened it, and began spreading out little photos on the table. “Look! Off-brand Trading Cards. There’s you, and Roland, and Johnny, and everyone.” Ray fanned out the rest of the cards after pointing at people. He found Bob and waved it at her. “I used an old photo of Bob because he wasn’t there for this game.”
Peeling up the card of herself, Ronnie flipped it over and found a full list of stats down the back. She glanced at Ray over the edge of the card. “Where did you get the stats?”
Ray smiled at her, clearly delighted to give her the information. “From the Greater Elms league stats. They have them on the webpage. It was very informative.”
“The height and weight?” she probed, narrowing her eyes.
“I estimated.”
“Mmm.”
He flipped over Roland’s trading card and smiled as he admired his own handiwork. “Aren’t they fun? I think this will be a new thing I offer as part of the photography business. My nieces and nephews are just obsessed with cards like these, particularly the Pokemon ones. It will definitely be a hit at school on Photo Day.”
Ronnie collects the set of cards from the table and snatches Roland’s card from Ray’s hand. Taking her time, Ronnie assembled them into a neat pile, their cardstock edges falling in line, which feels nice against her fingers. Methodically, Ronnie stroked the edges while she looked back at Ray. “Mmmhmm. You made Brewer a set as well?”
“Of course. Schitt’s Happening with Ray and Ray’s Photography cannot be seen as partial to one team or the other. I am simply an observer of things.”
Grunting, Ronnie took some bills out of her wallet and tossed them on the table. “I’ve gotta go. We’ve got a town council meeting to discuss the latest way we’re spending money on Singles Week and since you abandoned me on the council -and left me with Roland, Bob and now Moira Rose, someone has to hold up the rational end of things.”
“Oh, Ronnie. You, Roland and Bob are old pros. And you like Mrs. Rose.”
“Sometimes. When she’s not being utterly ridiculous. Although, this whole Singles Week thing is not her worst idea. She and Alexis keep coming up with “new ideas.””
Ray nodded. “Ahh, yes, my mother would like me to go and find a nice person to marry. I do not know why. She has enough grandchildren. I am married to my businesses.”
“Very polyamourous of you.”
“You know my feelings on relationships. Actually, Ted Danson on The Good Place says it best. You are just mashing your food-holes together.”
“Some of us like mashing our food-holes together.”
“I will take photos for Schitt’s Happening with Ray, though, for Singles Week. Give the town’s profile a boost.”
“Yes, I’m certain most of our tourism is due to your blog/podcast. Thanks for these, Ray.”
“Let the team know they can order extras any time.”
Ronnie nodded and took both packets of photos. It had been a good game, even with the loss. She tapped the packets against the top of the table and gave Ray a smile. “Will do. Have a good one, Ray.”
Ronnie was almost out the door when she heard Twyla call out, “Thanks, Ronnie!”
Ronnie turned to wave at Twyla as she slipped the money into her pocket. “Ray, can I get you anything?”
Ray stands, brushing off his outfit. “No, thank you, Twyla. I have a lunch meeting with Heather to check out her closets. She’s looking to make some extra space. I need to get going in order to make it out to her farm on time. Hold the door, Ronnie.”
Ronnie only rolls her eyes a little as she holds the door. Ray could have said something as she was paying.
“Thank you, Ronnie!” Ray says, brushing past her.
He’s halfway to his car when she calls out, “Hey Ray, make sure to bring your camera next year. I won’t be letting Brewer and Cafe Tropical off so easily.”
Ray nods his assent before getting into his car. Ronnie takes herself back to town hall for another rousing debate of appropriate and inappropriate Singles Week activities.