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2014-11-01
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Halcyon and On and On

Summary:

Ezra and Jai share a room while arrangements are made for the Kells to go into hiding.

Notes:

Recommended musical accompaniment: Orbital, "Halcyon and On and On".

Work Text:

It took almost three weeks to make all the necessary arrangements for Jai and his mother to go into hiding. (Looking back later, Ezra was surprised and impressed that Hera had been able to make it happen so quickly.) While they waited for fake indentification documents and worked out a hundred little details Ezra would never have thought of, the Kells stayed on board the Ghost.

This meant things got a little crowded. First, there were sleeping arrangements: Hera set out some spare blankets in her room for Jai's mother. Jai, meanwhile, wanted to stick with Ezra, although Kanan offered (halfheartedly, Ezra thought) to let the other boy sleep on his floor. Zeb, meanwhile, said sharing his room with one irritating teenage human was hard enough and he wouldn't stand for two of them. Sabine suggested the cargo bay might be suitable; Kanan rejected the idea. The end result, after relatively little shouting, was that Zeb vacated the room (with dire threats about what would happen if either Ezra or Jai touched any of his things) and slept on Kanan's floor.

It was fun to have a roommate, someone his own age, who didn't look down on him the way Zeb and Sabine did, or try to teach him or be a Substitute Parent Figure the way Kanan and Hera did. Maybe this was what it was like to have a normal life. Staying up for hours talking about nothing in particular. Figuring out a way to get back at Sabine for her pranks (it was Jai's idea to set the lock on Sabine's door to randomly change its code every two hours).

Kanan even let him sit in on some of Ezra's training, which Ezra found, if anything, even more distracting than having Zeb and Chopper. Everything would be going fine, and then he'd look over and Jai would catch his eye and they'd both burst out laughing. Ezra thought he could listen to Jai's laugh for hours — it was so normal, with none of the bitterness that the rest of the Ghost crew had. And it always came with one of Jai's smiles.

Then, suddenly, everything was done: the plans were made, the fake IDs picked up, the housing arranged. Tomorrow, Jai and his mother would be leaving the Ghost to start a new life in hiding; who knew if — when, Ezra assured himself — they'd see each other again.

He hoped Sabine and Zeb wouldn't notice how on edge he was, but he was pretty sure Hera could tell, and Kanan definitely knew something was up; Ezra hadn't had this much trouble focusing in training since before their ill-fated search for Master Luminara.

"Concentrate, Ezra!" Kanan said, after Ezra missed his lightsaber swing for the fifth time in a row.

"I'm trying," he said through gritted teeth. "And I thought we went over this already — yelling 'concentrate' when I'm trying to concentrate just makes it harder."

They tried for another quarter of an hour, then gave up. Kanan looked as frustrated as Ezra felt.

He couldn't help it. He made his way back to his room, where he found Jai packing his things.

"Hey, Ezra," Jai said, looking up.

"Hey, Jai," Ezra said, trying to keep his voice normal.

"How was training?"

"Eh," he said noncommittally, and hoisted himself onto his bunk. Maybe it would help if he could close his eyes and pretend it wasn't happening.

For a while, then, neither of them said anything. Finally, Jai finished his packing; Ezra heard him closing his bag and opened his eyes. When he turned to look at Jai, he saw Jai was already staring at him.

"What?" Ezra asked, casting about for some joke, something to help with the tension he felt building in the air, and finding nothing.

"Nothing," Jai said. He started to turn away, then stopped mid-turn and looked back at Ezra again. "Can...can I come up?"

Ezra felt like his stomach had dropped away. He opened his mouth, and for a few seconds couldn't make any sound come out. Finally he managed, "S-sure."

Jai clambered up onto the bed next to him, and Ezra scooted over to make room.

"Nice ceiling," Jai said, when they were both settled, lying on their backs.

"Thanks," Ezra said, and they both laughed, somewhat feebly. Ezra's heart was pounding. He hoped Jai couldn't hear it.

"Ezra, I..." Jai started, then stopped. Ezra turned his head to look at him; Jai looked about as nervous as Ezra felt.

"It's okay," Ezra said, not knowing exactly what he meant. It just sounded right.

Jai reached out, hesitantly, and put his hand over Ezra's, and their fingers just sort of fit, and Ezra was sure Jai must be able to hear his heart pounding now.

"Jai..."

"Ezra, can I..." Jai trailed off, licked his lips, then tried again. "Can I kiss you?"

This couldn't be real. Ezra nodded and managed to whisper, "Yes."

Then Jai leaned in, slowly but surely, and their lips met, and it was a little weird, not quite what Ezra had been expecting, but then Jai was pulling him closer, and then it was everything.

Eventually, they both pulled away to breathe.

"Wow," Ezra said, once he'd managed to process what had happened.

"Wow," Jai agreed.

"That was...good," Ezra said.

"Can we...?"

"Again?" Jai nodded, and then they were kissing again, and then Jai was on top of him and Ezra could have kept going forever, only they were interrupted.

"Ahem." They froze. It was Hera.

"Shit," Ezra said. "Um. Hi, Hera. We were just—uh—" He stopped. Hera was laughing, and not the way Zeb or Sabine would have been.

"It's okay, Ezra," she said. "And Jai. I won't say a word. I just thought I'd come let you know we're going to be dropping out of hyperspace in just a few minutes.

"Oh." That brought Ezra lurching back to reality.

"I'll be taking Jai and his mother to the arranged meeting point when we arrive. You're welcome to come along, Ezra."

Ezra looked at Jai, still lying on top of him, who in turn was looking back and forth between Hera and Ezra. "Yeah," he said, once he'd found his voice again. "I think that would be good."

"Well, you'd better get your things to the cargo bay, then, Jai," Hera said, smiling kindly. "We can't afford to stay long, I'm afraid."

"All right," Jai said, attempting to extricate himself from the tangle of limbs they had become. He managed it eventually and hopped back down to the ground, though he still looked about as unsteady as Ezra felt.

"I'll see you two in a few minutes, then," she said.

"Sure," Ezra said, sitting up. Then she left. When the door had closed behind her, he and Jai looked at each other.

"I guess I'd better take my stuff down to the cargo bay, then," Jai said, scuffing the deck awkwardly with one of his feet.

"I guess so," Ezra said. There were so many things he would have rather said, but he couldn't quite put any of them into words.

Half an hour later, they had landed, and Hera, Ezra, and the Kells were speeding towards the town where the Kells would be making their new lives. He looked at Jai, and found that once again, Jai was already looking at him. The other boy gave him a half-smile, which Ezra managed to return in kind, and then Jai reached over and took Ezra's hand again.

They stopped outside an unassuming apartment complex. Hera and Ezra offered to help carry things inside, but Jai's mother waved them off, saying they'd done enough already. Still, Hera insisted on going in to look, just to make sure everything was as it was supposed to be. She left Ezra to watch the speeder, much to his distress. Jai looked back once over his shoulder as he followed his mother inside and Ezra felt like the world had fallen away under him.

A few minutes later, Hera came back out, looking satisfied. "It's a nice apartment, as promised. A little spare at the moment, but there'll be plenty of time for them to fill it up." Then she looked at Ezra. "Why don't you run inside and say goodbye to Jai?"

That was all he needed; he was up and away before she could say anything else.

"Don't take too long!" she called after him. "Kanan's waiting for—"

Then the main door closed behind him and he hurried to the lift. The Kells — or rather, the Yaneks, as they were now called — were in apartment 311. He stopped outside the door, took a deep breath, and knocked.

After a long moment, the door opened to reveal Jai.

"Ezra!" he said, smiling widely. "I thought you'd have left."

"Come on, you didn't think I'd leave without saying goodbye, did you?" Ezra did his best to make it sound like their usual friendly teasing, although he wasn't sure he quite managed it.

"Of course not," Jai said. He reached out and took Ezra's hand.

"What if your mother sees?" Ezra asked.

"Let her," Jai said, and pulled Ezra into a kiss.

Well, can't argue with that, Ezra thought, wrapping his arms around Jai. They stood there for about thirty seconds, then separated.

"I'm going to miss you," Ezra said softly.

"I'll miss you, too." Jai gave a wry smile. "I'm glad we met, even if now Mom and I are on the run from the Empire."

Ezra managed to laugh at that. They kissed once more, just briefly, then Ezra said, "I should go. Hera's waiting with the speeder, and Kanan's waiting on the Ghost."

"Well, don't let me hold you back," Jai said. "Just — promise you'll come visit?"

"As soon as I can," Ezra said. "I promise."

"Good."

Then, somehow, he managed to make himself leave the apartment, go back down in the elevator, and rejoin Hera at the landspeeder. Hera didn't say anything, for which he was grateful, just gestured for him to hop in so they could head back to the ship.

"We'll come back, right?" he asked Hera as they left the town.

"I'll be honest, Ezra: I don't know if we will," she said. "But if there's a way, we'll try."

"I guess that's the best I can ask for," he said. "So I'll take it."