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They met at Oxenfurt, and Valdo knew immediately. It took Julian the better part of a week to figure it out. His brother, his twin, was corded with muscle where he was lean and rangy, flush with happiness and confidence where Valdo skulked from lectures avoiding eye contact.
He idly wondered on the difference between nature and nurture, and how they were clearly products of their very disparate upbringings, but there had to be something at the core that was the same, for them both to be here, for them both to be studying the same classes, both musically talented.
He didn’t dare approach himself, after that first disastrous introduction where he’d stuttered, helpless with shock, staring at the warped mirror of himself, and Julian had smiled politely, a little bemused. Valdo had known he was a foundling for years and had long ago resigned dreams of family to some tattered childhood drawer. There was a whole vast Continent to search, and no trace left to find them with. And no guarantee that they’d want him either.
Valdo was many things, but an optimist was not one of them.
He got used to the comments, being mistaken for Julian from behind, having total strangers walk up to him and begin cheery conversation before coming to an awkward halt. His brother sounded like he was having fun.
They shared many of their classes, but he didn’t speak to his brother directly for a month, dodging the places he knew the other frequented, the routes he took to classes, and escaping increasingly plaintive calls for his attention as he fled after their lectures finished.
He didn’t want Julian to look at him and find him wanting.
He finally got caught out when he left his room briefly to check his letters. When he returned to his cramped quarters, shared with three others, Julian was sitting on his bed, a wealthier and plumper version of himself, of things he could have had, of what he could have been, and Valdo was abruptly sick with it.
‘Hello there, Valdo. You’ve been avoiding me quite thoroughly!’ Julian said, aiming for cheerful and ending up somewhere past plaintive.
He just stared back, waiting for whatever it was he had to say.
‘Are we…I mean. Are we related? Cousins? You must admit the resemblance is uncanny.’
Valdo snorted.
‘Twins. Hello brother dearest.’
Julian’s face was pale now, and he gibbered unattractively. Valdo hoped his face never looked so ridiculous.
‘Clearly I got the brains.’ He said, as Julian just gaped at him.
‘H-how? Did our parents-? Did they?’ Julian managed.
‘No idea.’ He replied, and this stumped his twin completely. He ran a hand through his hair, as if it were an old habit, and Valdo resolved never to do the same again.
‘I always wanted a brother. Or a sister. Or anyone really.’ said Julian and smiled at him.
Valdo just humphed at this unwarranted presumption, or as unwarranted as it could be when you had apparently shared a womb.
And from that moment on he had not only a brother, but a twin, and a shadow. Julian ‘-call me Jaskier, old sport’, took great pleasure in towing him to parties and introducing him to everyone as his dearest brother, constantly following him around town and making a nuisance of himself everywhere he went.
It was incessant, and infuriating to be greeted with ‘Oh are you Jaskier’s brother?’ as though he wasn’t his own person, as if he hadn’t scraped and begged and fought bitterly for the chance to be here, only to be outshone at every turn by someone who seemed to think early morning classes were optional and there were more interesting things to be found under every skirt he could talk himself under.
Valdo had only three years of musical tuition under his belt, to the great displeasure of his guardians, who had hoped he would be something sensible like a merchant, or a banker, but he had still managed to get into the prestigious Oxenfurt University’s Liberal Arts course, with a pittance of a scholarship and hours of work in the kitchens to pay his way.
Julian had apparently strolled out of the womb and been presented with his own orchestra to choose from, with tutors teaching him arpeggios as he suckled at their mother’s teat. He had his own room, every meal paid for, and fine silks to wear as he dandied around town and generally ran wild.
He was no responsibility of Valdo’s, to be sure, but there was something about Julian that apparently one couldn’t help liking. He was intensely affable, if a bit annoying in large doses, interested in people and the tales they told, making friends everywhere he went and charming professors and students alike.
Valdo hated him with a passion.
Their final year, competing against each other, Julian won the top prize in their year, the accolades of the entire city and enough coin to change Valdo’s entire existence.
It would have been hard enough to bear, to be the cursed mirror of Julian’s charmed life, to have it rubbed in his nose the whole time, but his brother was also a more talented musician than he was, and that was the last straw. He packed furiously that night, desperate to get the hell out of anywhere they knew his fool brother’s name, leave his damned shadow behind.
Julian had the nerve to show up at his door, laurels still crowning his head.
He slammed it in his face, and the bastard wouldn’t stop knocking until he relented.
‘What?’ Valdo said, staring at him icily.
‘I know I haven’t been the best brother to you, and the less said about our fool parents the better. But we are brothers, Valdo. I thought if. If you wanted, that I could give you the prize money, and we could travel together. For a while. If you wanted to.’
Valdo looks at him. Truly looks at him, and sees a scared little boy, as he was once. Once and no longer. Never again.
‘You actually dared come here and condescend to me. You patronising bastard.’ He cannot breathe with the outrage coursing through him.
‘You, what, were going to hand me your coin magnanimously, try and buy my presence? You don’t have enough coin for that. I am not one of your whores, to give my time so freely.’ Julian blanches, and tries to stammer an apology.
‘You have taken everything from me. My life, my family, my career.’ His voice trembles in anger. ‘You are no brother of mine. If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!’
‘Valdo, please, we’re brothers, we’re family.’ And the idiot actually starts weeping.
‘One day you will look around you at the ashes of your life, and you will realise that I am the cause of it. And my revenge will be complete. Farewell brother.’
Valdo leaves, and never forgets his promise.