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It was an uncommon thing; to see Derek so scared looking. Stiles could count on one hand, the number of times he’d seen the honest to God fear across his face. When the alphas were forcing his claws through Boyd’s chest. When Cora was deteriorating and no one knew how to save her and Derek didn’t know how to lose her again. When he found out that Jennifer was the one taking people and killing them, possibly including the sheriff, Melissa, and even Chris. And now this. With the bomb squad scattered around his house, trying to find any other threats that they might have previously missed, while working on getting Derek out of there in as few pieces as possible. He’d gotten a call from an unknown number – and that should have been his first tell – playing a recording of Scott, telling him to meet him back at his house, that it was something urgent and that he should hurry. So, he did. And nothing smelled off, and there were no unrecognizable heartbeats, so he ran in, and didn’t find Scott. Didn’t find anyone. But as soon as he went to step away from the living room, he heard a ticking sound, right beneath his feet. He called the sheriff’s station, and Stiles being one of the officers on duty for the night, was the assigned the case. He got everyone there fast enough, and they’d been working on moving Derek without blowing the entire block off the face of the earth. But time was running out, and the ticking sound was getting louder, and Derek knew they were getting to the point of having to give up. Leave him behind or go down with him.
“ Stiles?” Derek called over the clashing sounds of everyone around them.
“ Hmm,” Stiles hummed distractedly, his eyes following the two officers moving things away from the area that Derek was standing in, because they didn’t want to disturb his weight-sensor.
“ You should go.”
“ Yeah, yeah, we’ll all go, just give us a few more minutes.”
“ No, no, Stiles, listen to me.” And Stiles did, his eyes taking him in for the first time, since him and his team crashed through the backdoor, to find him with an actual ticking bomb beneath his feet.
“ You and – everyone here. You should take them and leave. It doesn’t – it doesn’t make sense for everyone here to die like that. I have to stay, because I kind of can’t move, but – you can. You should.”
“ No, actually, I can’t.” Stiles shook his head, his face falling with blame, with hurt.
“ Why not? You’re not inside that circle that they drew to show the bomb’s reach. You can get out.”
“ You should – really stop talking.” Stiles put a silencing finger in the air, his eyes falling away from Derek.
“ No, but Stiles – “
“ I said stop. This is my scene. I am an officer of the law. This is my job, and you don’t get to make suggestions here. You don’t get to have any input. You can’t fucking spare me from this too.”
“ Stiles, we have a problem.” The rookie interrupted, before Derek could come up with a response or an apology or just – something.
“ What is it?” Stiles cleared his throat, immediately fell back into his professional role.
“ The back door that we came through? It seems to be connected to a second bomb. And we can’t use the front door since Mr. Hale is blocking it, so there seems to be no way out.”
“ How could there be a second bomb when we literally came through that same door?”
“ The bomb squad are saying that it was automatically triggered, when the door was opened by us. If we try reopening it now, it might set it off earlier than it’s meant to.”
“ Okay. Okay, fuck, let’s go. I have an idea.” Stiles didn’t even turn to look at Derek again, in case it was the last time. He was still irritated and frustrated and a bunch of other things.
He told everyone to follow him up the stairs and to Isaac’s room, where he hid a rope ladder that he used sometimes, when the house got too claustrophobic and he started having flashbacks. Stiles threw that ladder out the window, made sure two men were holding it secured, as each of the officers started leaving, one by one. The bomb squad were the most resistant, knowing that they were the only ones capable of disarming these two bombs, but Stiles ordered them out of the house, said that they could radio him instructions until he could do it himself. Once the last of the men was out of the house, Stiles closed the window, headed back towards the living room. He went on his knees, to be able to see the timer for himself, and it read 7 minutes.
He grabbed his radio, started telling the bomb squad what he was seeing. All the wires, the components that he could name, where and how exactly that timer was placed. They told him to find the second white wire and cut it, but there was only one white wire that he could see, and they were multiple wires hidden beneath the timer and the bomb itself. When the timer started going below the 5 minutes mark, Stiles changed the channels of his radio, to reach the station.
“ I need a channel that my dad can get to, without anyone else hearing us.” Stiles asked of the newer rookie. She immediately gave him the confirmation of the channel that he should move to, and a few seconds later, his dad was calling out his name, so comfortably, like he had all the time in the world. It suddenly hit Stiles that he was taking that away from him, that he was forcing him into a loss that he’d said he wouldn’t be able to bare before. And he’d be alone for it too.
“ Hey, dad, listen, uh – “
“ Are you on your way back yet? We ordered lunch and I’m pretty sure Parrish is almost done with his food, and will probably move to yours soon after.”
“ It’s – he can have it. I need to tell you something. Are you in your office?”
“ No, I’m by the front desk, why?”
“ Can you just – get to your office and close the door please? I want you to be able to hear me with no distractions.”
“ I’m the sheriff, Stiles, there are always distractions, it comes with – “
“ Dad, please. I don’t know how much more time I have and – just. Please.” Stiles could tell his composure was fading, his strength wavering as he tore through his dad’s world.
“ Okay, I’m in my office. What’s going on, son?”
“ I, uh, you know we were out to deal with a possible bomb threat at Derek’s house, right?” Stiles breathed. Or at least, tried really hard to. But nothing was working the way it was supposed to, and he felt like he was going to die, long before that bomb ever went off.
“ Yeah. You had the bomb squad with you, so is it handled? Was it even an actual bomb?”
“ Yeah, it was, dad. Two bombs actually. And – there’s a timer, that Derek is standing over, and he can’t move without triggering an explosion. And I can’t leave because I’ll have to do it through the back door and that might trigger the other bomb.”
“ Okay? And the bomb squad can’t contain it? Or diffuse at least one of them?”
“ No, they haven’t been able to. And I ordered everybody to leave the premises.”
“ Why would you do that?” It sounded forced; the breaths his dad exhaled through the radio, the steadiness he was trying to put behind his words.
“ Because we’re running out of time dad, and this is my scene. I had to make the call.”
“ And your call was to stay behind?”
“ I can’t just leave him.” Stiles sighed, his eyes looking at Derek’s devastated face, and moving past it before they could take any more of it in, remember it when everything else went away.
“ You can’t just – Stiles, you’re going to die.”
“ I love you, dad. So much. You know that, right?”
“ Yes. Of course I do. And I love you, which is why I need you to get the hell out of there, Stiles. Listen, I’m getting in the car right now, I’ll be there in a couple of minutes, just – “
“ We don’t have a couple of minutes, dad. Don’t do that to yourself. I just wanted to hear your voice, let you hear mine. Take care of yourself, will you? Please, dad, don’t let this take over you.”
“ What the fuck do you mean, Stiles? How do you expect me to be able to live through this? Without you? I only ever made it before because I had you. There’s no fucking way I’ll be able to do it again. Please, Stiles, for once in your life, just listen to me. Get out of there. For the love of God, Stiles, get yourself out of there.” Stiles put the phone away from his mouth, bit down on his lips hard enough to hold things back, stop them from seeping through, stop himself from agonizing over his dad.
“ I love you. You’re the best dad in the world. And I will always be the luckiest to have been your son.” Stiles took his finger off the speaker button, threw his radio against the stairs, and watched it fall into so many pieces. It kind of felt like he was too.
Stiles felt weak, loose, like he was coming undone, and had no reason to stop it anymore, as he fell back onto the stairs, put his head in his hands, and waited for it all to just end.
“ Stiles,”
“ Don’t, okay? I can’t do this with you anymore. I know what you’re going to say and I don’t want to hear it. Just – shut up and let this be over.”
“ How much time do we have left?” Derek asked. Stiles’ eyes squinted to see the number that read a little over a minute.
“ About a minute.” He replied, voice resigned, defeated in ways Derek had never heard on Stiles before.
“ Your dad is right, Stiles. There is no point in you losing your life. You chose to save your team’s lives, you can save your own too.”
“ You’re not going to die here alone, Derek.” Stiles groaned, feeling the raging fire inside him, reigniting a little, wanting to taking them both with it before the explosion could.
“ But your dad, Stiles. You’re all he’s got.”
“ Why are you trying to make this fucking worse than it already is? I am not going to leave you here. And I would really like to not be fighting with you when this thing goes off.”
“ I don’t want you to die.” Derek confessed, everything about him softening, mellowing.
“ That makes two of us, but, there’s nothing we can do about it now.” Stiles shrugged, but he wasn’t as angry anymore. He was running out of time to be.
“ Why are you doing this? Why are you throwing your life away like that?” Derek carefully sat down, crossing his legs, his eyes on Stiles, searching for things that Stiles was unwilling to share, keeping all to himself.
“ You really don’t get it, do you?” Stiles stopped pulling at the laces of his boots, after he’d untangled them, didn’t bother with tying them again. It wasn’t like falling was a legitimate concern of his anymore. Derek shook his head, looking like a lost puppy, with his stupid wide eyes, and his stupid pouty lips, and his stupid pretty face.
“ I love you, Derek. I’ve been in love with you for years now. And I never said anything because I know it’s one-sided and you have so much shit to work through and deal with and you don’t have the time or the capacity to be in love with someone or even let yourself be loved, and that’s – I mean, I get it, it’s okay. But we’re seconds away from our tragic death and I don’t want you to go thinking that I was being a selfish, stubborn, asshole, because this isn’t that. I just – can’t let you go like this, in a burning house, by yourself. You don’t deserve this kind of ending.”
“ Stiles, I – can you please look at me?” Stiles shakily breathed out, before obliging. There was very little he had left to lose.
“ I never even considered this a possibility. You – you’re Stiles Stilinski, everybody loves you. And the fact that you – you choose to spare me some of that? Dedicate some of that love to me? Without asking for anything in return, is just – so like you. But, you’re right, there is so much going on around us that I don’t think I can give this what it deserves. Give you what you deserve. But – that isn’t because I don’t feel anything, because I do. Fuck, I just – can’t believe this is all we get. I can’t believe this is really it.”
“ At least we got that. That’s something.” Stiles thought of all the love stories he saw end, and not in a pretty, delicate way. He thought of his own parents. Of Scott and Allison. Of Allison’s parents. Of Derek’s parents. He thought of Boyd and Erica. And he wondered if they all died with that knowledge that they had love in a way that only happened in romantic movies. He wondered if it would have changed anything, if they’d known earlier. If maybe Stiles never would have let Derek go into that house so carelessly. If maybe he wouldn’t have wasted this much time getting from the station to the house because he would have already been with Derek. There was no way of knowing any of it. And what he did know, just had to be enough.
“ Wait, why are we still alive?” Stiles’ eyebrows furrowed. He moved until he was on his knees, crawling towards the circle that Derek had been in, without actually breaking through it. The timer was on 0, but nothing had happened. Nothing was happening.
“ What the – “ Stiles stood, looked around to inspect his surroundings, trying to find if there was something he’d missed. Still waiting for the boom and the darkness.
“ Derek, try shifting your weight.”
“ But what if – “
“ Trust me.” And Derek didn’t have to think about it anymore, as he lifted a leg, put it outside the circle that the bomb squad had drawn onto his floor with chalk. And nothing happened.
“ Wait, does that mean that we’re safe?”
“ This doesn’t make any sense. Why would they go through all this trouble? Just to mess with us. There has to be something that we’re missing.” Stiles rummaged through Derek’s belongings, flipping chairs and moving tables, but then he halted, his eyes widening as he ran out of the house, through the front door and towards the police cars still waiting for them outside.
“ Somebody hand me a radio, right now!” He demanded, disregarding the are you okay’s and what the hell happened’s.
“ Dad, can you hear me? Come in, please.”
“ Stiles?” Parrish responded instead.
“ Parrish, where is my dad?”
“ I am not sure, what’s going on? Do you need us to send some more people over?”
“ No, that’s not it. Listen, Parrish, I need you to get everyone out of the station. Send a patrol car to Cora’s house, and another to the McCall’s. Then branch out from there, I want an officer to check in with me from Lydia’s, Malia’s, Liam’s, and everybody else’s too. I need this done right now.”
“ Wait, what? What do you mean? Get everyone out of here how? We have people locked up that still need to be processed, Stiles.”
“ I don’t care. This is important, Parrish. Get yourself and every single person out of there, now. Or – “ And then there was a resounding booming sound, one that he’d been waiting for since he’d first gotten that call. Although he’d been expecting it, the pit of dread that had opened up in his stomach was wide enough to swallow him whole. Probably everyone around him.
“ Oh fuck. Oh my God, come on, we need to get to the station.” Stiles got into the driver’s seat of the first car he found, Derek got it in the backseat, when the rookie got in the passenger seat. Stiles drove like a lunatic, with his sirens blaring, and his hands barely leaving the horn at all.
“ What happened, Stiles?” Derek asked, his eyes widening when Stiles drove right past a red light.
“ It was a fucking distraction. They were playing us. They got as many of us to your house, while they bombed the fucking station with all the officers there, fuck. How did I miss it?” Stiles’ grip around the wheel tightened, like he was trying to hear the sound of it breaking, to drown out the echoing explosion in his head.
“ I’m going to try your dad on his cell.” Derek announced, getting his phone out of his pocket, and dialing the sheriff. He did that three times, with no response, but then, the station was coming into view and there was so much black smoke, it looked like the sky was greying, was burning along.
“ Oh my God,” The words fell past Stiles’ lips, seemingly unintentionally, as he threw himself out of the car, running straight into the station. The fire department stopped him, announcing that the scene was unsafe, and they were still trying to handle the fire.
“ I am the sheriff’s son. I am a cop, you have to let me in, my – my people are in there. My dad is fucking in there, I have to go in.”
“ Sir, I’m sorry, but we can’t let anyone in there yet. If you want to be of help, you can check on your people that made it out already. And let us handle this before any more people get hurt.” And then it hit Stiles, that there were tens of people spread across the crowded area around the station, some laying on the ground, unattended for, and others with the paramedics. Stiles immediately slipped back into his professional role, making sure the crowds didn’t intervene with the first respondents’ work, checked on every conscious officer or employee that had been in the station. But his dad and Parrish were still nowhere to be found.
Derek gave Stiles back his ringing phone, and it was the number of one of the members of the bomb squad, so he answered, his heart clenched with fear of another possible threat.
“ This is Stiles.”
“ Stiles, thank God you’re okay.”
“ Dad?” Stiles’ voice wavered, his hands slipping away from the yellow tape he was pinning around the ambulances. “ Where are you? You’re okay?”
“ I’m okay, son. I was on my way to Derek’s house when I heard that explosion. I – I really thought – “ The sheriff had to stop, before he spoke his biggest fear out to the world, before he made his desperation known.
“ Derek and I are fine. It – there was an explosion at the station. We still don’t have any exact numbers of causalities or injuries, but it’s big, dad. Big enough that the fire department still hasn’t completely put the fire out.” The sheriff sighed, and Stiles could almost see the hand he’d have rubbing against his eyes in frustration.
“ The bomb squad cleared everything back here. So, I’ll drive back with them. You’re going to be there, right? Don’t run off anywhere before I see you for myself.”
“ I won’t. I need to see you too. When I – shit, dad, I heard that explosion on the radio and – I thought I’d never get to see you again.”
“ You’re telling me. You called me to say goodbye, Stiles. Which, we’ll have to discuss later, because that was just not okay. Don’t ever do that to me again.”
“ You’re right. I’m sorry, dad. I love you.”
“ God. I love you too, kiddo. Okay, I’ll see you in a couple of minutes.” The sheriff hung up and Stiles knew that he’d started crying.
“ He’s okay.” Stiles heaved out a sigh of relief, handing his phone back over to Derek, who smiled, like he’d already known it. He must have already heard the entire conversation.
“ I’m going to go check on Cora, then I’ll grab Scott and come back here. Is that – do you need me to just stay? At least until your dad gets here?”
“ You’re asking me if I’m okay with you leaving to check on your sister?” There was a different kind of glow in Stiles’ eyes, his lips curving into a smile that Derek had never seen on him before. He liked it though. He thought he loved it.
“ I mean, I don’t know, it’s been a day and you’ve been through a lot and – I am trying to figure this thing out. See if, I don’t know, if I need to do more, or be more of something that I haven’t been before.”
“ You’ve been through a lot too. You were convinced you were getting blown to death. And – if you ask me, you don’t need to be more or do more. You’re perfect. There’s nothing wrong with you or how you’ve been doing things.” Derek choked on something or the other, groaning, as he leaned in, quickly – shyly – pecking Stiles’ lip, before running towards the furthest police car. When they drove past Stiles, Derek couldn’t help but look, check if anything about him had changed, but Stiles had his fingers to his lips like he couldn’t quite believe it had happened. And Derek couldn’t help but smile the rest of the way to Cora’s studio apartment.
Stiles was moving from ambulance to ambulance, counting heads, trying to figure out who was still missing, when he found Parrish, being carried out of the station, blood and smoke almost completely covering him. He could barely recognize him at all.
“ Parrish, fuck, is he okay? Are you okay?” Stiles held onto the hand that wasn’t visibly peeling off, looking between Parrish’s figure and the paramedics.
“ He has second and third degree burns on his entire body, and severe smoke inhalation. We’ll know more when we get him to the hospital.”
“ Hang in there, Parrish. I’ll be right behind you.” Parrish tilted his head, responding to Stiles’ familiar voice. He gave something resembling a nod before he was put into the back of an ambulance, that immediately drove away.
Stiles didn’t have time to turn back towards the scene, before he was engulfed in arms he’d known and loved for his entire life. Even more so, after experiencing a loss that put the blind fear in him of losing any more. Stiles instinctively melted into his father’s embrace, breathing in so hungrily, no achingly, his arms circling around his father’s waist, and pulling him even closer.
“ Oh my God, Stiles. Let me have a look at you. Are you really okay? Huh?” The sheriff put his hands to Stiles’ shoulders, had to push against him a little to put some distance between them. His eyes scanned what they could of him, before Stiles was whining, all needy and stressed, as he buried himself back into his father.
“ I’m okay. I just – I need you to stay like this for a while. Don’t let go yet.”
“ Whatever you need, kiddo.” The sheriff easily agreed, needing it just as much. Hurting just as bad.
Eventually though, Stiles had to be an officer, and his dad had to be the sheriff, and they pulled away, and threw themselves into action. But Stiles seemed to be gravitating around his father, and the sheriff never took too long before his eyes were seeking Stiles out again, making sure he was still in one piece. Derek came back about an hour later, with Cora and Scott following behind. Scott hugged Stiles first, started sniffing him to make sure there weren’t any hidden injuries. He didn’t comment at all, when Derek wrapped around Stiles like it was their norm, like he’d done it before. The sheriff though, raised his eyebrows, started smiling when Stiles shrugged, his cheeks turning a little red.
Six hours after the initial explosion, Stiles, the sheriff, and Scott were getting into a car, to drive to the hospital to check on those injured. There were only two dead on scene, the ones closest to the bomb, never stood a chance, according to the fire department and paramedics. Stiles had a feeling him and his dad would have trouble shaking those, even if everybody else made it out alive.
“ So, when is it okay for us to discuss the whole Derek situation?” Scott started, turning in his seat to face Stiles, who was driving the car, his heart immediately skipping a couple of beats.
“ What Derek situation?”
“ Oh, come on, son. You know that denial isn’t the smartest way to handle this. I have been a cop all my life, and Scott is a literal werewolf who can hear the lie before you even think it through. So you might as well just spill.” The sheriff spread both arms across the backseat, getting comfortable.
“ Well, we were going to die today. He was going to die and I wasn’t going to let him do it alone. It was an intense situation to say the least, and – I guess, I told him that I loved him too much to leave him. And he sort of said it back. I mean – I think he did? It’s all a bit of a blur if I’m honest.”
“ You told him you loved him? About damn time, but also, how did it feel?”
“ Good. Yeah. Great. It felt right. Especially since I thought there would be nothing that came after. I assumed there would be no repercussions to my actions, so the fear of being rejected or belittled just didn’t matter as much. Not in the face of certain death, you know.”
“ And now? That you’re not in any immediate danger, how do you feel about it?”
“ I feel.. relieved, man. Earlier today, he asked me if I would be okay with him leaving to check on Cora, or if I’d want him to stay until dad got there, and – it was so simple, it’s not that big of a deal, but it made me feel like it mattered to him. Me being okay and comfortable. Even more than his own worry for his sister. And – I’ve always loved Derek, everybody knows this but him probably, but – it feels good to have it be known. To be allowed to do things like kiss or touch or need. To be allowed to love him. I just want to love him, dude. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“ Oh, man,” Scott’s eyes started feeling wet, as he put his head to his friend’s chest, let him ruffle his hair lovingly.
“ I am happy for you, son. You deserve to feel this kind of love. And Derek is a good man. I am not worried about it.” The sheriff squeezed Stiles’ shoulder that was closest to him, and Stiles patted it in gratitude, and that was the end of it, because then, Stiles was parking in front of the hospital, and they each were going down a hallway to visit the officers, one by one. Stiles was the one to check on Parrish, because he’d promised him, and Stiles was never one to break his promises. Parrish was in and out of consciousness, but his body was healing – supernaturally fast – but the burns were extensive and they were taking a toll on him. Melissa suspected that he would be okay in a day or two maximum. Stiles made sure to wake him up before he left, to let him know that he was there, that he could call if he needed anything. Parrish asked about fatalities and slipped back to sleep when Stiles took too long being around the bush and not giving a straight answer. Stiles then went to wait by the front door that they all settled on reuniting at after everyone was done with their assigned visits. His phone started ringing, and he was suddenly less tired, when Derek’s name appeared across his screen.
“ Hey, Derek.”
“ Hey. How are you?”
“ I am wiped, to be honest, but hopefully I’ll be sleeping all of this off soon enough.”
“ You should. You earned at least that.”
“ Yeah. Are you.. feeling okay?”
“ Oh, yeah. I’m good.”
“ Really?” Derek sighed, like he was tired of lying, of being caught doing it.
“ No, I am not. I mean – I am okay, but – it’s been a crazy day, and Cora always gets extra clingy when shit like this happens, and I think the fact that it hadn’t gotten this close in a long time, freaked her out even more. I am sorry I had to leave you in the middle of all of this, I shouldn’t have done that.”
“ No, dude, come on, your sister wanted to spend some time with you. And I could tell that you needed it too, so I’m glad that you got to do that with her. Just be alone and feel your feelings.”
“ I am too, I guess, but I want to be alone with you. Feel those feelings.”
“ Yeah?” Stiles was almost vibrating with joy. All the good things he was feeling, making the shitty stuff feel a lot less shitty.
“ Yes. I think we’ve wasted enough time tiptoeing around this. And yeah, I am still terrified out of my goddamn mind, and have no clue how to do this or if I am capable of even doing something like this with you, but – I want to be all in. I am all in, Stiles, with you.” Stiles’ eyes fell on Scott and the sheriff, the sheriff’s arm across Scott’s shoulder, Scott sort of melting into his side.
“ Is Cora asleep yet?”
“ She is.”
“ Okay. I’ll drive my dad and Scott home then I’ll come over. See you in an hour.”
“ See you then.”
Stiles basically had to shove Scott out of the car once he realized that Stiles was looking all loved up because he was going to see Derek soon. But eventually, Stiles parked in front of Cora’s studio apartment, tried to fix his hair – for what reason, he wasn’t sure – before he headed up the stairs. Derek had the door opened before Stiles ever made it to the floor. Once Derek’s eyes fell on Stiles, he was all smiles and laughs and grins and Stiles didn’t even have to think twice before diving in for a kiss and a hug.
“ I missed you.”
“ It’s barely been a couple of hours since you left with Cora.”
“ So?”
“ So, there is no way you’ve missed me already.”
“ But I did.” Derek pecked Stiles’ lips, rested his forehead against his.
“ Are we really doing this?”
“ I am if you are.” Derek was certain, nothing about him confused or distressed, which was a brand new look for him.
“ Let’s do this.” Stiles pushed Derek into the apartment, and as hard as they tried to not wake Cora up, she did end up startling awake when Derek accidentally hit Stiles’ head against a lamp. Cora cursed and groaned, before taking a pillow to cover her head, pointing Derek towards the guest room and telling him to lock the door. And when Stiles had to go back in for work less than five hours later, Derek almost wouldn’t let him, until he promised to call in with updates when possible. Derek gave him three hours, before he was driving to the station with the breakfast he’d cooked himself. No one batted an eye when Stiles’ laughter started echoing in the gloomy air of the burned down station. They just stole some of his food, and that was okay, because Derek told him he’d cook larger portions next time. And Stiles adored the sound of that. Of a next with Derek.