Chapter Text
As Inej walked the familiar route along the stained cobblestone streets of Ketterdam she was struck by a strong feeling of nostalgia. The smell of Ketterdam surrounded her. It was a scent she found she could never clearly define, yet was entirely unique in her mind. Tourists often complained, referring to it as a stench. A few years ago, Inej would have agreed. However, now she came to realize that she no longer would be able to complain with such vigor.
When Inej reached her destination she began to climb. The rough brick of the building made it easy for her to glide up the shadowed side-facing wall. As she made her way up, Inej mentally cursed at her failure to remember to take her gloves. It was winter, and it didn’t take long before her fingers became numb. Despite this, Inej had little trouble and reached the window in no time.
Inej’s fingers gripped the ice-cold windowsill before she hauled herself up to face the glass. She rubbed her frigid hands together before challenging the window’s lock. She says challenge, but really she knows the lock was chosen to just comfortably fit within her skill range. After sliding the normally creaky window pane silently out of the way, she stepped into a wave of comforting warm air. ‘The newly upgraded heating system must have been installed,’ Inej concluded. Normally the top room of the Slat would never reach such a comfortable temperature so deep into winter. Even though it was late, Inej noticed that Kaz wasn't back. Being who he was, Inej could only imagine what he has been doing the past months she'd been gone. Inej glided around the moonlight lit room, taking up everything. The room was the most disorganized she had ever seen it. Papers were spilled across the length of the small desk and piles were located sporadically across the floor space.
Below, the Slat was dancing with activity. Although Inej had always known the Slat to be noisy even late at night, she had to acknowledge that the general ruckus had definitely grown over the past few years. Since Kaz became the leader of the Dregs, the gang grew tenfold in both size and recognition. New additions to the Slat were built as a result and the space became a permanent hub of activity. Of course, the Slat still kept it’s signature, unfinished look with it being apparently obvious that each addition was added as a direct need for space. Despite this, the Slat could still be described as homely from the inside. The new heating systems only added to this effect. Inej settled herself comfortably in Kaz’s chair, the worn scheming chair, and continued to take in the room. Although Kaz inherited the larger office downstairs, it was obvious that he still preferred the attic room. His small, twin bed was still tucked into the corner, though it looked largely undisturbed. From the new viewpoint in the office chair, Inej noticed that the piles of paper scattered around the room formed a clear radius centered from the desk. It was clear that Kaz mainly operated from his chair.
Inej sunk deeper into the cushioned chair and felt her eyes go heavy. She hadn’t slept in quite a while as her ship and crew had been consumed with the stress of entering the city and docking. Most of the day had been spent settling in all the freed slaves that wished to stay in Ketterdam. It wasn’t until now that Inej finally had a chance to realize how tired she was. Before she knew it, she drifted into a light sleep.
~~~
Kaz slowly climbed the stairs, each one creaking loudly under his weight. Each high-pitch squeal of the wood caused a sharp stab of pain behind his eyes. ‘Damn stairs’, Kaz thought. He ought to get them fixed. He hadn’t bothered with them yet under the guise that they would act as a warning if anyone attempted to sneak to his room. However, recently they acted more like an annoyance than anything else. In general, the daily climb he took up the stairs in its entirety was more of a pain in the ass than it had any right to be. The cold made his leg ache like nothing else and usually by this time at night his head was throbbing in its need for sleep. Kaz didn’t really know why he still slept in the attic when he had a room downstairs. Actually, he did know. He just couldn’t let go of the hope that he’d turn in his chair and see her figure on the windowsill.
When Kaz finally opened the door to his room and stepped inside, he was shocked to notice the shadowed figure slouched in his chair. It was only after a closer look, he realized it was Inej. Unconsciously, Kaz took in a sharp breath. A wave of glee washed over him. Oh, how much he missed her. However, this was soon replaced with concern. Why was he slouched in his chair? Was she injured? He moved to her behind the desk, but before he could try and wake her she stirred. Her eyes snapped open and Kaz was met with a brief glance of panic before she recognized him. Slowly, her mouth formed a small smile and she began to stretch her limbs. Kaz, out of relief to see that she seemed to be alright, moved to lean against his desk.
“That's my chair, you know,” Kaz stated after a long moment.
“It’s nice to be back,” Inej replied as her smile grew.
“I'm glad your back” Kaz blurted out, and instantly regretted it.
“Couldn't break a promise.” Inej said. She gracefully got out of the chair and stood before Kaz. She scanned his face. He noticed that her eyes lingered on the new scar he gained on his jaw. Finally, her dark eyes met his gaze. Kaz involuntarily held his breath, staring back just as intently. He was once again reminded how much he loved looking into her eyes.
After a moment Inej spoke barely above a whisper, “You look like you haven't slept in days.”
Kaz had been sleeping terribly since Inej left. It seemed as though that every time he tried to close his eyes to rest he was flooded with nightmares of Inej's ship being swallowed by the sea, Inej along with it. Every time, she would be screaming his name. He would see her skin rotting and peeling under his touch as he tried to pull her to safety.
Kaz just shrugged away her worries. “Considering that I came in to find you asleep in my chair, I could say the same about you.”
“If that’s anyone’s fault, it’s yours. What keeps you out so late?” Inej retorted with an amused smirk.
“Are you going to be staying at Wylan’s?” Kaz asked, changing the subject.
“That was my plan. They don't know I'm coming, but him and Jesper have assured me that I am welcome anytime. Perhaps I should have settled in at their place first, but I wanted to reunite with you.”
“You could stay here,” Kaz blurted once again. He cursed himself for being so straightforward. “I mean, it’s best not to venture out into the cold if you don’t need to”. Kaz inwardly groaned at his attempt to recover his slip up. Damn, did he feel like a heartstruck school boy.
“I assume that you gave away my room.” Inej replied with a slight smile.
He had, to his new spider. A twig-like boy from a poor, hateful family. The boy got the job done, but was clumsy compared to his Wrath. Kaz had tried to keep Inej’s small room unoccupied for as long as possible, but space in the Slat proved to be too tight and in demand.
“You could stay here” Kaz repeated more confidently, this time gesturing to the bed in the corner of the room. He’d be damned if he let her slip out that window again after so long without seeing her.
Inej stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to change his mind. She bit her lip thoughtfully and then, as though daring him, walked over to the bed and sat on its end. She slipped off her well-loved climbing shoes and slid herself to the far side of the bed, near the wall. Kaz moved to the edge of the bed and sat down to remove his shoes as well. He gradually peeled off his gloves and placed them on a side table. He set his cane to lean against the wall. Finally, Kaz lay downto face the ceiling with Inej.
There the two dark clothed figures lay together on the bed, illuminated only by light coming through the window. Kaz turned his head to the window and was surprised to see the beginnings of daylight along the horizon. He must have been out later than he thought.
Inej, as though she could read his mind, turned to face him. She repeated her question, “Kaz, why were you out so late?”
Kaz sighed. He felt the urge to respond with a sharp remark but resisted it. He turned his head to meet Inej’s gaze. “Some nights I just don’t want to deal with sleeping. Instead, I find myself preferring to wander the streets.”
Inej hummed in acknowledgment and turned her gaze down to her hands. “I’ve had nights like that. Instead of sleeping I find myself pacing along the ship deck all night.” She paused, then met his eyes again. “But, usually there’s something specific that is bothering my mind,” she prompted.
Kaz’s instinct told him to flee the conversation - to hide behind his gloves and armor - but honesty betrayed him. “I’ve just been having nightmares.”
“What are they about?”
“Losing what’s closest to me.”
Inej’s eyes sparkled. “Your millions in kruge?” she teased.
“Something like that.”
Inej just smiled. Then, slowly, she shifted her hand across the narrow space dividing them on the bed. Her fingers lightly grazed his gloveless palm. A tremor ran through Kaz, water rising. She is alive, he told himself, she is alive. The water slowly receded. Gradually, Kaz moved his hand to lightly accept her grasp. He moved his index finger along her wrist to feel her steady pulse. She is alive, she is alive. The mantra calmed him. He noticed that his own heartbeat began to slow as he focused on the warmth of her palm. Her hand wasn’t cold and dead, it was soft and warm and delicate. Kaz watched Inej’s eyes begin to close. Soon, her breathing became deep and slow as she fell asleep.
The warm light that began to filter through his window landed softly on Inej’s caramel skin. Kaz found himself absorbed in scanning her features as he tried to etch the moment into his memory. He loved how her long, dark lashes rested on her cheekbones. He loved how a strand of her hair had slipped from her braid and spilled across her face. And, he loved how the edges of her lips still had the hint of a smile. For the first time in a while, Kaz felt calm and content. It didn’t take long before Kaz felt his own eyelids get heavy and he fell into a peaceful slumber.
With his hand still grasped in Inej’s, Kaz slept without a single nightmare.