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*
It's the sound of nothing getting to him.
Nothing.
It's not all nothing with the faint echo of a television news report and Klaus's soft, shuddery breathing. Heavy footsteps. Allison's heels clicking on linoleum. But… Klaus understands now he has been left alone… finally, unbearably and undeniably, alone…
There's dust on the bookshelf over Klaus's head. Covering the pink-striped flannels and sheets. He watches numbly as it hovers in the sunlight.
Klaus's left arm drapes over his bare stomach. His right hand stretches out on his side. There's no reason to get up and walk around and pretend like everything's normal. Elliot's pillows under Klaus reek like beer. And strawberry Jello. He hates it.
He hates all of it.
It's always about you… isn't it, Klaus…?
Ben's voice reverberates in his skull. A memory. Ben's not here, Klaus reminds himself dully. He never will be again.
You're always going through a lot…
Tears trickle out the corners of Klaus's half-lidded eyes. The last thing he saw… Ben, Ben surrounded in the bright blue pulses of Vanya's sound waves… gazing down purposely to a woozy Klaus on the floor… Ben chose to stop Vanya on his own…
Ben has been alongside him, in diapers or in death… for so long…
And it feels wrong to be without him…
Nobody needs your shit, Klaus…
Klaus's fingertips glow, emitting a bright blue luminescence. His teeth expose, beginning to clench.
That is why you are always alone…
"Hey, Klaus," Vanya whispers, stepping into Elliot's guest bedroom. She leaves the door open. Klaus's summoning energy recedes, fading out the blue. He only stares up emptily at the ceiling as Vanya tiptoes over to him, sitting on the mattress-edge.
"I wanted to check on you," she adds, pulling up her legs. Dark strands of Vanya's hair brush over her mouth. "You okay?
Klaus grunts noncommittally. He knows then he fucked up — a quiet Klaus is not a normal Klaus — when Vanya suddenly frowns.
"You sure, Klaus?"
"I'll be downstairs in a minute… mm'not feeling too hot," Klaus croaks. He sounds like Michael Fassbender rawed him for an hour down his windpipe. Not an ideal Saturday evening. Vanya's frown deepens as she burrows her eyebrows. "Ate some dairy."
After a moment of hesitation, Vanya relaxes.
"I hear you," she whispers again. "Almost starting the apocalypse for the hundredth time feels exhausting."
Klaus feels his legs shift and he looks away from the ceiling. Vanya yanks off one of his boots.
He's vaguely reminded of her, cradled unconscious in Luther's arms, with those tacky white boots and her white suit and white violin. Klaus rubbed Vanya's feet, worried sick. She's his sister. She's sweet and shy little Vanya. It doesn't matter that she tried to destroy everything.
Vanya finishes yanking off his other boot, lying down sideways with him. Klaus's right hand clasps gently over Vanya's fingers.
"… This is about Ben, right," she asks kindly, staring over his tear-drippy, flushed face.
Klaus doesn't answer her right then, playing with her fingers and turning over Vanya's wrist. Only naked, pale skin. She wanted to be part of the Umbrella Academy so badly. Klaus caught her at the sink with Dad, being forced to wash off the black marker.
"He's gone for good, isn't he?"
"Saved me and the world," Vanya admits. "I'm pretty sure."
"The little shit-heel," Klaus says grumpily, the corners of his lips tilting up.
Vanya reaches out, untangling their hands and dragging her thumb under Klaus's eye.
"Ben wanted you to know something," she murmurs. "He stayed for you, Klaus. Not because of you." Hearing her say this feels like walking through Vanya's sound waves. His heart tightens into a knot. "Ben was scared to know what was beyond our world and in the light. You were something familiar to him… you were grounding… and he didn't feel so scared around you…"
A whimpery noise escapes Klaus's closed lips. He inhales sharply.
"How do you know any of this…?"
"He told me. I felt it when Ben touched me. I felt everything he felt." Vanya half-smiles, dragging her thumb again lightly over Klaus's stubbled jaw. "And everything he felt about us… about you…" she trails off, recognizing the wistfulness, "but you already knew…"
Klaus offers a semi-shrug. Hard to do while rolled out limply on a bed.
"We fooled around once or twice as young and hormonal shitstains. Ben never professed his undying love for me though."
"He didn't have to, did he?"
"Nah," Klaus breathes, smirking and waving his GOODBYE tattooed hand dismissively. "We weren't really like that… not that I would have minded… heh, then again, I barely listened to him. Dead or alive, you know? He got on my nerves. I got on his nerves. He would get me in trouble. I told him he reminded me of Dad when he nagged and Ben got sooooo pissed."
"Yikes," comes a new, raspy voice. "That's a low blow from you, Klaus."
Vanya and Klaus go rigid and confused, looking up.
"Diego," they say in unison.
"No shit."
Diego, with the shaggy Antonio Banderas locks, or so Klaus revealed the mental comparison, thumps the end of the mattress with gusto. He hoists himself up, crawling on Klaus's other side. "Make some room, assholes."
"Sheesh," Klaus complains, rolling onto his back and wiping off his cheeks. "Vanny, tell Diego he's a big meanie."
Vanya glances between them in amusement.
"I think he already knows," she declares.
"Hey," Diego says softly, jabbing a finger in her direction. His dark eyes light up. "Don't make me come over there."
Vanya scrunches her nose at him.
"That a threat or a promise?"
Klaus rolls his eyes. "Jesus… get a room or something…"
"You're one to talk." Diego huffs, witnessing as Klaus reaches under a pillow for his silver-cased flask. Whiskey. Definitely the stench of whiskey when Klaus unscrews the flask. "I caught you and Ben in the attic 'practice kissing' when we were fifteen."
"Like I said…" Klaus gulps a mouthful, wagging his tongue. "eeugh!… hhn, young and hormonal shitstains…"
"I can't believe Ben was here. Like really here." Diego smiles. "He talked to me."
Vanya nods. "I didn't know if it was real or not."
"I don't remember ever being more glad to see Klaus in my life than when Ben was possessing him."
Klaus stares open-mouthed at Diego, placing a hand over his heart.
"Yiiiikes," he repeats.
Diego's ungloved fingers ruffle through Klaus's curls.
"Wish I could have seen it," Five grumbles. He stands in the doorway with Allison before she clutches his elbow, pulling him inside. Klaus straightens up into a slow, sluggish sit, feeling the warmth of Allison's hug and burying his entire face into her shoulder.
"Me too," Allison says, opening her arm for a grinning Vanya who hugs both of them. "I miss Ben so much. How was he?"
Vanya leans back from the group hug, opening her mouth, but Klaus interrupts, solemn-eyed.
"I think he was lonely," Klaus confesses. Every eye lands on him.
Guilt floods Klaus's chest.
"Ben… Ben did miss you guys. I wasn't sober enough to help him communicate with anyone. Not that you would have believed me. I tried to tell you before… everyone just thinks I'm making it up…" Klaus sighs, raking his fingers through his long dark brown hair. "I do sometimes… and I didn't act like I cared when it mattered to him… god, why didn't Ben hate me for this?"
Diego's upper lip stiffens. Allison tuts, sniffling and rubbing Klaus's shoulder. Five's eyes lower. Vanya fidgets with her sleeve.
"Because we're family."
Luther grins, appearing to nudge a scowling Five who crosses his arms.
"We care about each other and we know each other."
"Unfortunately," Five monotones.
Klaus shuts his eyes, chuckling when they all break into conversion and laughter.
Ben was right…
This isn't about him… it's about all of them…
And somehow… they're all getting out of this hellhole. Together.
*