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When Satan had big fights with his older brothers in the past, he often found himself locked up in his room for days without talking to any of them. Sometimes, it would go as far as refusing to eat with them or eating any meals at all (to which Beelzebub worried a lot) and when that happens, the brothers find themselves at a loss for what to do with him. In those days of isolating himself from his family, he’d try to control his anger, attempting to keep a leveled head by reading and/or listening to music, however, no matter what it is that he did, it had always seemed to irritate him more and more, so his only option was to sleep. It was quite possibly the most peaceful option yet.
However, just when he thought he had escaped reality by attempting to sleep, he had dreamt of night terrors that plagued his mind throughout the evening, keeping him wide awake instead.
Those nightmares often either revolved around being reprimanded by Lucifer, Mammon attempting to sell him to witches, and all sorts of things that just made him more anxious and irritated the longer he stayed in his room. One of the worst ones, however, was the one that dated back to the Celestial War, just before he was born out of Lucifer’s wrath for his father.
In that nightmare, he saw everything in full detail, flashing before his eyes like a film in motion. He saw arrows of light striking his brothers down, their pained screams ringing in his ears as they fell from their graces, and the worst of it all was that he witnessed everything in Lucifer’s eyes.
He witnessed the darkened gaze that their father has given them; soul-crushing, frightening, it was enough to have him cower in fear, and yet somehow, it continued to fuel his wrath for him. Rather than beg for forgiveness, he felt himself grow more and more enraged at the sight of him, questions spiraling in his mind like a whirlpool as Lucifer bickered with him. And in a moment’s breath, just as his eldest brother had readied himself to fire a shot at his father, he quickly turned his head to the sound of a sharp cry of immense pain, the voice mortifyingly familiar.
The sight of their sister–wings that were gruesomely torn off like paper stuck to the wall, an arrow perfectly pierced through her chest just a few inches away from where her heart should be–played in slow-motion like in films, her eyes pricking with painful tears as her arms were spread wide open, almost as if she were asking for someone to catch her–for one of them to catch her just before she would hit the ground–
And he did. They did.
Lucifer, without any hesitation, found himself diving headfirst as he struggled to reach out to her, his hand desperately waving to attempt to grab ahold of hers, but just as he was about to see what happens next, a flash of white clouded his vision, causing him to close his eyes before he could see the aftermath. When he had open his eyes, he felt something warm and wet trickling against his cheeks.
And when it had dawned upon him as to what just happened, he had broken down.
Grief washes over him like tidal waves, strong and at all at once, and his chest was heavy with a mixture of emotions he couldn’t identify himself. Everything was overwhelming, loud, stifling, and suffocating that he almost felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and his shoulders alone. He couldn’t breathe, and only the sounds of his cries are there to accompany his solitude.
At least, that’s what he had thought.
Just as he had found himself grieving, a tinkle of the bell reverberated in his ear ever so faintly, he almost missed it had he not stopped for a moment to breathe. He lifted his head to look for the source of the sound, the flowery meadows finally coming into view that leaves him speechless. Patches of pinks and blues surrounding him like a fae’s ring, the gentle breeze swaying the grass as they begin to dance along, the sight of it all were breathtakingly beautiful. It was nothing like that of the Devildom.
“My, what’s the long face for?”
Satan jumped at the voice that came from behind, stumbling on the ground as a gasp left from her mouth, following a giggle.
“Did I scare you?” she asked, not bothering to wait for his answer as she had already crouched down to pick him up.
“Excuse me,” he replied, quite curtly, “but who are you? Somehow, you look oddly… familiar.”
“Why, is that how you’re supposed to talk to someone older than you, young man?”
Satan’s eyes widened–well, not before having his cheeks burn bright red as he dusted himself off. He could hear the quiet laughter rumbling from her chest, familiarity slowly crawling from behind but seemingly stopping just when he had gotten a good look at her.
Her hair bright like daffodils in the summer, verdant eyes twinkling like stars in the night sky, she was everything familiar yet at the same time, she was a stranger.
“I see you’ve grown up now, haven’t you? My, I would expect you to be the same height as your brothers by now!” the young woman’s eyes softened as she reached her hand out to pet his hair gently, a feeling much too foreign to the boy. When he looked up at her once more, he could feel a sense of warmth and comfort brimming from his heart, another foreign feeling to him.
“Why do you act like you’ve known me for so long?” Satan asked, hoping it didn’t come off as rude. The young woman simply smiled as she cupped his face, her hands just as warm as her entire being. Is this what it feels like to be under the sun?
“You know, I was watching you cry earlier. It made me worried that something, or someone, must’ve hurt you so badly for you to cry that much.” It was true, some things did hurt him so much for him to grieve that badly. It was far too much for him–for someone as young as him, that he couldn’t hold himself back from fully breaking down into tears just as he did earlier. When the young woman didn’t receive a reply, she brought her hands to his own, holding them up to her face as she kisses them gently.
“My dear, if anything is troubling your mind right now, I am willing to lend an ear.”
“And how do you suppose I should trust you? I don’t even know your name.”
“It matters not if you know my name, nor do you need to trust me.” her voice now in a whisper, “I simply wish for you to have someone who will listen to your woes without any form of dismissal.”
When Satan glanced back up at the woman, everything suddenly came rushing back to him in an instant, like a switch flicking on inside of his head. He was a smart young boy, after all.
“Then,” his hands tightened in hers, “will you listen to me for a moment?”
When Satan and his brothers don’t get along, he’d come running back to his room and lock himself inside for days. He would skip dinner, doing everything he can to lessen any sort of contact between him and his brothers, and once nighttime falls, he’d quickly jump into his pajamas and crawl into his bed without another thought. Then, the moment he had fallen deep into his slumber, the sight of the meadows starts to come into view.
There, he saw her sitting under the tree with a book in her hand, humming a tune he was unfamiliar with as the sun peered through the spaces between the branches of the tree. A smile rested against his face as his feet started moving before he could even call out to her. When he had caught her attention thanks to the crunching of grass beneath his soles, she smiled and gave him a small wave, the book now placed atop her lap.
“Welcome back,” she greeted, patting the space right next to her as Satan sits himself down and finds a more comfortable position before leaning against her to peek at the book.
“What’s that you’re reading?”
“It’s a story called Alice in Wonderland. Have you heard of it?”
He shook his head.
“Would you like me to read it to you?”
“Will you?”
“Of course, after all, you’re here with me right now. What else could we do in our free time together?” Satan smiled. The young woman takes the book in hand–just before she could gesture him to have himself sit on her lap to have a better view of the book–and once he had found himself comfortable in his seat, she had begun reading.
Minutes turn to hours as the two of them enjoyed the story, with the young woman reading the book aloud and Satan following behind by reading with his eyes. A gentle breeze kisses their skin as time continues to tick by, however, the sun never seemed close enough to set. Satan grew aware of this the longer they read; his attention was now divided in half.
“Can I ask you something?”
“What is it?”
“This place, it’s all just a dream, isn’t it?”
The young woman didn’t reply, verbally at least, and simply nodded.
“Then that means that one day, I’ll never be able to see you again.”
“Satan–”
“And then I’ll be left alone on my own again, with no one by my side.”
“Listen to me.”
Satan stood up from her lap but dared not to face her. He couldn’t– shouldn’t , not when he knows who she truly is. He brought an arm to his face, rubbing his tear-filled eyes as an attempt to keep himself from crying but he knew in his heart that he simply couldn’t keep this tormenting feeling to himself anymore. Not when he had already opened up to her in the past.
“My dear,” she called out to him, her hands embracing him from behind until he had fallen back into her arms, “whether this is a dream or not, know that you are never alone. You had never been alone, even before you came to this place.” she brushes his hair to soothe him, his cries buried against her chest as he felt his hands clutching onto her dress as if his life depended on it.
“You are far too young to carry this burden all by yourself, little one. No matter what you may think, all of this is not your fault.” Waiting for him to calm down, she continued to rub the small of his back, comforting him with all of her might as she held back her own tears that threatened to fall down. Once he had somewhat found the steady rhythm of his heart, he pulls himself away from her to meet her eyes–her verdant eyes that matched his own along with her soft, blond locks.
“I don’t want you to leave,” his voice trembled, “please, Lilith. Please don’t leave us again.”
“My dearest Satan, I had never left you or our brothers all this time.” she presses a kiss on his temple, “Because no matter where I am–who I will be–I am with you, always and forever.”
The scent of oranges wafted through the air as its flowers danced along with the wind, warmth washing over them like rain. Satan gave her a glance for the last time, her smile like that of the sun: radiant, bright, warm, and loving, his heart had been filled with emotions he never would have thought he’d be capable of having in the first place.
And as twilight begins to creep, the darkened dawn of Devildom crawls.