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Himiko wakes to the sound of a beeping monitor and a light shining in her eyeball, and given the awful, bottomless levels of pain she’s feeling, she actually wishes she could crawl back into the sweet nothingness she’d just come from.
“... looks like her body is responding well enough to the treatment…” someone’s voice floats in over the continuous beeping noise. “With her quirk… curious to see…”
...Curious...
The voices fade in and out, but that one word sticks in Himiko’s mind, niggling at memories that are tied to quite a bit of pain. In particular, her right eye throbs inside its socket, making it hard to think.
What happened? She wonders, fighting against the heavy pull on her bones. Blood moves sluggishly throughout her body, dulling the desire for the iron she usually feels right beneath her skin.
Did mommy and daddy have me drugged again?
Some tiny, fearful part of her brain hitches like a sucked-in breath at the question, and that distant beeping ticks even faster. A heart rate monitor? Another hospital.
“Ahhh, is Toga-chan gonna be okay??” a familiar voice asks near the foot of her bed. “I’m not worried, Toga-chan is too badass to die.”
Oh, it’s Jin, she realizes, body relaxing almost instantly. Jin means the League, and the League means safety, as far as she’s concerned. No more parents, unless she counts Kurogiri.
Darkness as black as the mist man’s quirk presses against her consciousness before she can remember that Kurogiri, too, is gone.
___
Jin’s voice ebbs in and out the most, breaking through frightening memories of harsh lights and uncaring hands. He chats about anything and everything, but with the pain meds she’s on, it’s difficult to parse which side is talking at any given time. Not that it really matters. She’s content to be lulled by a familiar voice that doesn’t intend to cause her harm. It’s nice.
Spinner’s more nasally drawl comes in intervals too, talking about how much has happened with the League and how he hopes she’s okay. He lets his chivalrous side show when he apologizes for not being there to help her out.
It’s the first time anyone’s apologized for leaving her on her own.
Himiko thinks she hears Mr. Compress making jokes by her bedside. They’re all incredibly corny, and he gets scolded when he wrings a weak laugh from her.
Once, she thinks she feels a hand resting on her forearm, but she doesn’t remember knowing anyone with three metal fingers. Not until someone calls Shigaraki's name from the doorway, and the fingers slide away.
Each visit reminds her a little more of who she is now.
She’s Toga Himiko: a villain, a member of the League, a survivor.
And she has a new family.
----
When she wakes next, Himiko remembers quite a bit more. Fleeing after Kamino. Losing Kurogiri. Fighting alongside Tomura for months. Deika city...
The fight with Curious.
It still hurts to move. Hurts even more now that she’s fully conscious, and the pain makes Himiko stifle a cry as she tries to pull herself upright in bed. Fanged teeth dig into her lower lip, and her grip on the cool steel bed rail is white-knuckled.
Sweat beads across her forehead, trickling into the bandage around her eye, but it’s worth it to sit up. Laying down like that, feeling pinned by the weight of painkillers and gravity, brings back too many memories.
She offers the empty room a shaky smile and whispers, “Now if I had Ochako-chan’s quirk, that would be really nice.”
It’s not much of a comfort, but the thought of floating alongside the cute UA student perks her up enough to get moving.
Her hospital gown clings to her back with sweat, and the cords hooking her to her IV stand confuse her for a minute. Eventually, she’s vertical, and despite her one functional eye that refuses to focus, she can see the door.
She probably shouldn’t be moving. She’s pretty sure the doctors mentioned, more than once, that any extraneous movements could put strain on the veins that had barely recovered from being exploded inside of her. But that meant more time trapped in her room, staring at the ceiling and remembering things she would much rather not. Even worse, while her friends came to comfort her regularly, they were often busy with the new alliance, while she was left to stew.
Himiko grimaces slightly, still not sure how she feels about the alliance. But she's spent more than enough time inside her own head, so she pushes thoughts of the Liberation Army away as she shuffles into the unfamiliar hallway.
There’s no way she can make it more than a few hundred feet, and since she has no idea where anything is, it’s pointless to go wandering. Still, the need for freedom far outweighs her discomfort, and Jin had said Dabi was nearby, also confined to his room.
Himiko clutches her IV stand with a death grip and staggers her way to the nearest door.
The fact that it’s sweltering inside is the first indication that she’s nailed her search on the first try. The second indication is the bored, oh-so-familiar drawl.
“What are you doing here?”
It’s Dabi alright, sitting up in his hospital bed, swathed in bandages and eyeing her coolly.
“Aww, Dabi,” she whines, wheeling her IV stand in and trying to hide how badly her knees are shaking. “I was bored, and Jin-kun said you were nearby! How did you get so beat up?”
Dabi snorts, “Could ask the same of you if Twice hadn’t been in every ten minutes hollering about you.” His eyes narrow. “You’re not supposed to be up.”
It’s the closest thing Himiko’s ever heard to concern from the villain, but between the heat of the room and the trek to get here, she’s feeling too dizzy for a snappy comeback.
“Toga?”
Dabi sits up straighter, but Himiko waves vaguely for him not to get up. She can do this much on her own.
The five feet to the edge of the bed feel more like a mile, but once she’s off her feet, the room stops spinning—marginally. It clears her head enough that she can lean her chin into the heel of her hand.
“I’m fine~” she sing-songs, before glancing up at him imploringly. “Might feel better after a taste of blood, though…”
Dabi arches an eyebrow. “Don’t have any I can spare, so no.” Still, he reaches over to his bedside table and grabs a glass of water for her.
She looks at him a little cross-eyed, reading between the grumpy lines. “You’re anemic?”
The villain snorts. “Among other things. Keep your fangs to yourself.”
Himiko smiles weakly and accepts the glass. Water isn’t nearly as tasty as good old fashioned plasma, but it helps clear her vision. Or at least, she thinks it does. That or the air around Dabi is shimmering.
Curious, she rests the back of her hand against his sheet-covered shin and immediately jerks back with a hiss.
“Dabi, you’re—”
“Confined to bed for a reason,” Dabi says dryly. “Not really safe company right now either.”
He jerks his chin toward the door, clearly indicating she should leave, but Himiko’s body aches at the thought of walking back to her room. Besides, Dabi’s raspy voice is a lot nicer than the ones in her head.
“Does it hurt?” she asks in lieu of answering, eyeing Dabi’s bony kneecap poking through the white sheets. Prepared for the heat this time, she prods at it, the pad of her finger scalding like she’s jabbed the inside of a stove.
“Don’t touch,” Dabi snaps, jerking his leg away. The motion makes his face go white, and Himiko feels the first stirrings of thirst at the obvious flow of blood under his skin.
But while she loves Dabi, it’s not like that. She doesn’t want to become him or see him hurt. So, she uses one of her old quirk therapy techniques, popping her reddened finger into her mouth to suck on while feeling the pulse of her own blood against her tongue. It’s not nearly as satisfying, but it takes the edge off.
Dabi watches her cautiously. Himiko smiles around her finger.
The stare-off continues while Himiko muses on how long it’s been since she actually got to participate in one. Maybe back in middle school? With her little brother? And she's delighted to see that Dabi caves first, almost literally, as he slumps back into his pillows, hair poofing out in an unholy mess around his disgruntled face.
“Yes, it hurts,” he admits. “Feels like someone poured lava under my skin. Ain’t great. Kinda like having your veins popped all up inside you.” The last bit is said sarcastically, and Himiko grins.
“At least it’s all where it’s supposed to be. Not like that guy at the camp — you know the one? Who smushed your clone? He could use his blood outside his body.”
“Gross,” Dabi says succinctly. “Imagine all the dirt he’s gotta filter out. Bet his kidneys would make a killing on the black market.”
Himiko giggles at the thought, almost surprised. Who knew Dabi had a sense of humor? She always assumed he was too emo for that.
“He’s definitely not as cool as Stain-sama,” she says knowingly, and Dabi nods slightly, eyes half-lidded in thought. Companionable silence reigns, interrupted only by the beeps of their heart monitors. Hers is much slower—positively sluggish—and she can feel the drowsiness to match it trudging through her veins.
“Is that why you like him so much?” Dabi asks eventually. “Because you both have blood-related quirks?”
Himiko yawns widely.
“Not really,” she answers sleepily. “More like…” She flutters a hand, trying to convey what she means. “Everyone in school always had a hero to look up to, ya know? But I never found one that was like me until Stain-sama. And if there were another person like me out there, I couldn’t be the wrong one.”
Dabi chews on that while Himiko yawns again, drawing her feet up and wrapping her arms around her shins, careful not to touch Dabi’s furnace-like skin.
In the warmth of the room, with the lulling beep of the heart monitors, Himiko’s head sags into her knees. Outside the window, she can hear birds chirping. Little treats tweeting away just out of reach.
“Guess you’re not so crazy after all,” Dabi murmurs from far away.
She doesn’t register the moment she falls asleep, and for the first time in a while, bad dreams don’t follow her into the abyss.
----
Waking in her own hospital room is confusing at first, but it’s much easier to rise and shuffle her way to Dabi’s room than it was the first time. He even seems to be expecting her, if the resigned acceptance written on his face is anything to go by.
“Hey, it’s not so icky in here today,” Himiko notes brightly upon entering the much-cooler room.
Dabi huffs.
“Finally got my medication in. Ain’t easy to get ahold of, and Ujiko was being stingy.”
“Stingy about you?” she teases, easing herself down onto the foot of Dabi’s bed. He doesn’t even put up a token protest. “That old mustache man loves you, though.”
Dabi shudders. “Don’t remind me.”
Himiko almost asks again, thinking it’ll keep the conversation going, when Dabi reaches over to his side table stiffly and picks up a deck of cards. Her eyebrows go up in surprise for a handful of reasons.
First being that… Dabi had expected her to be back and had apparently prepared for it. Second being that he was willing to entertain her at all. And third…
“You never said what happened in your fight,” she probes, eyeing the bandages wrapped around Dabi’s torso. “If you get to be a mummy, can I be a vampire?”
Dabi glares, unimpressed, and flicks a card at her. The rounded corner smacks her in the forehead, and Himiko almost giggles. It’d been a while since someone threw something harmless at her.
“Geten happened,” Dabi says succinctly, continuing to deal cards between them. “He’s a prick with big ideas about quirk supremacy. Feel free to stab him whenever.”
Himiko does giggle at that, picking up her cards and filing them together randomly.
“I used to play cards with my little brother and sister,” she confides as Dabi deals. The thought brings a strange smile to her face; it’d been a long time since she thought about them or how they’re doing. “I watched them when my parents were out at their jobs.”
Dabi doesn’t say anything as he turns up a six of clubs, on which he lays a six of diamonds. Himiko recognizes the game and lays down a four of the same suit while memories of another hospital, experimental quirk-suppressant drugs, and her siblings sitting across from her playing cards linger in the back of her mind.
“It’s funny, right?” she continues, laying down another card and pouting when Dabi changes the suit. “Me, having a family?” She hears a soft snort and smiles.
“But I like being free to do as I please,” she affirms, her bright eye flicking up to meet Dabi’s. No point in showing a soft spot that still bleeds if she’s not willing to show her fangs too. “And the League is my family now.” She maintains eye contact as she slaps down her last card, grinning wide.
Dabi pulls a face at her victory before his expression shifts to thoughtfulness. He takes his time responding while he reshuffles the cards.
“I get it,” he says eventually. His gaze is distant, like he’s following the same trail of blood back to his past that she is.
Himiko doesn’t press him for more, deciding she’s much more in the mood to tease the flame villain for losing the next three rounds in a row.
----
The next time Himiko wakes up in her own bed, she doesn’t even have time to be disoriented before the smell of homemade food hits her nose.
“Hmm, is that beef?” she asks, sniffing the air. “And… spinach?” Her eyebrows crinkle, trying to place the scent.
“Both high in iron, apparently,” Dabi’s bored voice comes back. She peeks her good eye open and sees him sitting awkwardly in his hospital gown and bandages, one hand braced on his IV pole and the other cracking open a tupperware bowl. Outside, the sun is just coming up, and the birds are starting their morning song.
The implications take a second to sink in, then Himiko’s cheeks bunch into a grin.
“Dabi-kun, did you break into the kitchens for me?”
He gives her a flat look and tosses the lid onto the floor.
“Getting tired of their shitty food here,” he grumbles. “Made too much, though.”
She doesn’t believe that for one second. But he’s sliding the little tub of steaming food at her, and her mouth waters so badly she can’t find it in herself to tease. Not yet, anyway.
“Mmm, this is so good,” she groans. “Dabi-kun, have you been hiding skills from us?”
The flame villain snorts and leans gingerly back into the stiff hospital seat.
“As many as I can. Otherwise, you lazy fuckers would have me doing everything.”
Himiko sputters out a laugh, and a smirk pulls at Dabi’s lips.
“Your doctor brought you back last night,” he informs her. “Told me to quit inviting you over, unless you want your veins collapsing.” Himiko squints at him, entirely unrepentant, and Dabi sighs.
“I’ll see about getting you some shit to keep you entertained.”
----
He keeps his word, sort of. Entertainment arrives in the form of Jin and Spinner in the morning. They explain that Dabi’s getting his bandages changed and more burn cream applied, but that he’ll be over later. Himiko hums thoughtfully at the news, then bends her head together with Spinner and Twice, concocting a plan.
By the time Dabi shows up an hour later wrapped in fresh white gauze and wearing a bemused expression, Himiko has perfected her expression of innocence.
“You wanna tell me why Twice and Spinner came by with a shit-ton of knives and swords, asking me which one I wanted?”
Himiko blinks up at him, prepared to deny any involvement, but the sheer confusion on his face breaks her before she can even start. Giggling helplessly, she barely gets out the words ‘Stain’ and ‘bandages.’
Dabi’s expression deadpans for a full ten seconds before Himiko notices his IV stand shaking slightly. It’s followed by a snort, then actual laughter.
She grins up at him as he clutches the pole for support and wheezes, her cheeks flushing with something like victory.
It isn’t until Dabi’s stopped snickering that he looks up, blue eyes amused and posture relaxed, that she realizes she’s actually become comfortable around him. Like he’s the older brother she never had.
“Not exactly the way Stain would have wanted us carrying out his will,” he says, wheeling his stand over to sit at the end of her bed. “But for the record, I’m leaving the knife schtick to you.”
Himiko beams. “I’ve also got the blood quirk.”
“Then I’ll just have to be the brains, I guess,” he smirks.
Even as she chucks a pillow at his face, Himiko warms at the idea carrying out Stain’s will together .
----
By the time they’re all back on their feet and strong enough to face their once-enemies, now-allies, Himiko feels like she can take on the world.
She glances at Dabi as they stride toward the stage, and he smirks back, tilting his head in acknowledgment. Which is, she realizes, all she’d ever really wanted. To be acknowledged and accepted just the way she is.
Grinning back at him and then around at the other members of the League, she knows she’s found her place. Her home.
Her family.
And she’s not going to give them up for all the world.