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Don’t be a simp, kids

Summary:

Souda is a simp. Gundam is uncomfortable. Nagito is actually helpful

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

‘Well i’m glad Souda’s finally left you alone,’ Hajime smiled at Sonia, who leaned back in her chair, exasperated.

“Goodness, me too. You could not believe how surprised i was when i saw him this morning and he didn’t beg to take my bags. He just looked right through me!” 

“Maybe he’s moved onto someone else?” Nagito offered from his place beside his boyfriend. Hajime wrinkled his nose.

“That fast? I mean, he said he was into blonde girls but unless he suddenly made friends with Hiyoko I don’t think-“

“Au contraire, my friend.” A smooth voice purred from behind him, and he jumped. Hajime turned around to see Teruteru leering at the three of them. Sonia pushed her chair back warily.

“It seems our favourite colourful coward has found a new beau.” The tiny chef grinned, slicking his hair back. Hajime grimaced. He avoided acknowledging Teruteru's existence at the best of times, but he did seem on pretty good terms with Souda; the two of them sharing personal information the mechanic seemed embarrassed to tell Fuyu or Hajime. The reserve course student shot Teruteru a warning look.

“And what do you know?” he asked, hand curling protectively around Nagito’s. Teruteru’s eyes sparkled, excited to spill whatever secret he had squirrelled away. 

“Well at our weekly sleepover last night-“ Hajime dreaded to think what went on there- “Kazuichi told me that he had his eyes on someone new. I wouldn’t be surprised if we see him all gooey and lovesick for them today, like we saw with ‘Miss Sonia’.”

Sonia shuddered, sending a worried glance over to the other girls sitting at the table beside them. Nagito grinned to himself.

“Oh, how inspiring. To get over heartbreak that quickly; truly befitting such an impressive Ultimate such as Souda himself-“

“Babe, we talked about this.” Hajime rubbed a hand across his boyfriends back before he got too worked up. 

“Well did he say who his new, um, interest was?” Sonia turned the conversation back again. Teruteru’s smile grew.

“Perhaps one would be willing to exchange such information for a favour~”

“Nevermind, let’s just go look for him ourselves!” Sonia burst from her seat and ran for the door, holding up her dress against the floor. Hajime and Nagito exchanged a look before hurrying after her. The Ultimate Chef’s voice called out after them.

“Wait! I just wanted to ask if you could import ingredients from your country! It wasn’t anything bad I swear!”

None of them believed him.


Hajime barely caught up with Sonia as she stood impatiently outside Souda’s cottage. He was still gripping his boyfriend's hand, who was doubled over, gasping for air.

“Souda!” She yelled, banging on his door, “Open this door right now or i’ll have Ibuki knock it down!”

“I thought-gasp pant-you’d be-pant heave-happy he’s leaving you alone.” Nagito choked out. Sonia waved him off, still burning holes into the wooden door like it would burst into flames in front of her.

“I am, but i am worried about whoever he is interested in now. Maybe he has finally lost his mind completely and fallen for Hiyoko. She would probably force him to do all sorts of humiliating tasks for her, and it doesn’t seem-“

A voice interrupted her from the next cottage over.

“Ah ha ha~ Mister Tanaka, you look so handsome in that outfit today~”

Three horrified faces turned to Gundam’s door.

“U-um, Shark-Toothed One this is m-most unbecoming-“

“You sound so posh with those long words, y’know… someone as simple as me could never keep up. Remember that my lord, hehehe…”

“Um, Souda?” Sonia called out, her pretty face twisted in disgust. There was the sound of rustling before a mop of pink hair leaned out the window.

“Oh hi Sonia! I was just talking to Lord Tanaka, do you want anything?”

“Jesus he moves on quick.” Hajime hissed under his breath, Nagito snickering to himself. Sonia looked scandalised.

“Um, I was just wondering what you were doing in Gundam’s cottage. He doesn’t usually let anyone in.”

Souda blinked in confusion, eyes sparkling in delight.

“I didn’t know that, no. Is that true, sir?”

“‘Sir’?!” Nagito breathed out, face red from giggling. Hajime shushed him. 

The door opened and a shaky Gundam wobbled out, half hidden behind his scarf.

“Er, y-yes under normal circumstances the average mortal would not be able to stomach my overwhelming aura in such a confined space.” He muttered, voice muffled. Souda gasped excitedly and disappeared from the window, only to reappear at Gundam’s side, clutching his arm.

“So does that mean i’m special? I’m better? I’m not though, i’m no better than anyone, in fact i’m just the worst, wouldn't you agree?” He babbled, staring up at the Ultimate Breeder with big, excited eyes. Gundam looked terrified, unsure whether to agree or not.

“N-no?” He asked, trying to remove Souda’s grip on his jacket to no avail.

“So you don’t think i’m the worst?” Souda gushed, smile widening.

“No?!” Gundam seemed exasperated, removing his jacket entirely and backing away.

“So I am the worst?!” If anything this just seemed to make Souda more excited and he swaddled the jacket lovingly. Gundam’s multicoloured eyes shifted wildly for help, hands worrying his shirt. The Four Dark Devas jumped from his scarf at the sound of his panic and posed threateningly at his shoulders.

“Hamsters!” Souda yelled, clasping his hands together, the jacket falling to the ground. His stepped closer, arms outstretched, only for Gundam to stumble back; a confusing tango between the two. Souda’s grabby hands nearly reached the other when-

“ENOUGH!” Sonia yelled, stepping between them. Souda peered over her shoulder to stare at Gundam, who was nearly doubled over.

“S-She-Cat?” He muttered out, pulling his scarf up over his head.

“This was bad enough when it was happening to me but I won’t let you harrass my friends Souda!”

Souda’s face fell. His arms dropped to his side.

“Harass? But i’m not-“

Souda ducked under her arms to Gundam’s side. The sparkles melted away from his eyes, and his eyebrows furrowed at the sight of the usually proud Breeder crouched in a ball.

“I wasn’t trying to… I was just…” Words seemed to fail him, and he just stood there opening and closing his mouth. Sonia got to her knees to watch her friend with a worried expression.

“Gundam?” She placed a hand on his knee, and he pulled the scarf down. He was bright red and staring at the floor. His hamsters nuzzled his face protectively.

“You can’t be so… so demanding of someone, especially someone you like Kazuchi.” Nagito spoke up from where he was watching. Hajime squeezed his hand.

“Trust me, it doesn’t work. You just look creepy. Besides, you know Gundam likes his personal space.”

Souda stood there in silence for a moment before he moved, side-stepping Sonia to pick the jacket from where it lay crumpled to the ground. Keeping his distance, he carefully placed it over Gundam’s shoulders.

“I-I’m so sorry dude.” He mumbled, twisting his fingers together, “I wasn't thinking. I think I just got so excited I kind of freaked out a bit.”

Gundam looked up, face still red, and offered a wobbly smirk.

“A-ah well, who wouldn’t be intimidated by my presence?” He offered and the two of them shared an awkward smile.

Souda offered the other his hand, shoving the other in his pocket.

“I wanted to ask if you’d like to go to breakfast together?” He asked, looking away. Gundam stared at his hand for a bit, before grabbing the neon sleeve and pulling himself up.

“If you promise not to act like a baboon in heat I would appreciate it.”

“Y-yeah Miste-er, I mean, Gundam.”

They gave the group one last apologetic look before wandering off together in the direction of the cafeteria; Gundam moving his grip from Souda’s sleeve to link their fingers together. They both blushed pink.

The others just watched on in silence for a bit before-

“It would have been that easy to get him to leave me alone?!”


“So… want to explain what the hell’s going on over there?” Fuyuhiko asked, peering suspiciously at the other end of the room, where Souda and Gundam were sitting together. Gundam loudly retelling some ‘battle’ with one of his animals, while Souda sighed dreamily at him. 

“I think it’s cute.” Peko shrugged, placing a hand over his. Fuyuhiko flushed red.

“W-well they don’t have to be so obvious about it!” He snapped, shoving a handful of chips into his mouth. Peko laughed at her boyfriend. 

“Yeah like you didn’t threaten Seppuku in case you ever broke Peko’s heart when you first started dating.” Hiyoko jeered opposite him, throwing one of her gummies at his forehead. He snarled at her through a full mouth and she squealed in disgust.

“Seppuku again .” Imposter corrected, watching them over his newspaper. This started an argument between the three of them that swiftly changed everyone’s attention, leaving Souda and Gundam to their own devices.

“If you would like, oh Tamer of Automations… we could schedule an outing together tonight, when none of our peers are around.”

“Are you asking me out on a d-date?”

“Perhaps. And for the record… I didn’t completely mind that ‘Lord Gundam’ habit. Although i’d much prefer ‘Overlord of Ice and Fire’”.

“Y-yes Overlord Gundam!”

“Not so loud!”

Notes:

Based off a post on my insta @staringandstaringandstaring

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