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He remembers when Daisuke’s words fell on deaf ears as he walked out of the Kambe’s mansion. Can’t even begin to bring himself to focus on Daisuke’s words as his thoughts run wild.
Remember the way he hugged himself when he noticed the eyes that used to look at him warmly is now void of emotions. Hated the way he pulls on the sweatshirt tighter to warm himself up.
Briefly wondering if he even noticed that the sweatshirt doesn’t belong to Haru but him.
He wishes that Daisuke would just hold him without saying anything. Wish the silence between them isn’t this deafening.
It’s fine if he doesn’t want anything to do with Haru any more.
How can it be fine at all?
He wants to be held in those arms again. Perhaps it can be like the way they started. Perhaps it will work out if they go back to where they started before this.
Before we’re broken.
He doesn’t want to stay the night.
But waking up with Daisuke in the morning is something he’s grown used to. Something he looks up to first thing in the morning. Being held in his arms and feeling his warm breath ghost on his skin.
Everything else was forgotten when Haru was in his arms.
It’s almost as if Haru were to be in those arms again, all the ways that they’re broken will be forgotten in a blink of an eye.
He can’t care less if Daisuke is a changed man now. He really doesn't.
He briefly wonders how Suzue is doing now. Can’t help but let his mind wander to when was the last he heard from her.
Honestly, he’s not expecting much but as pathetic as it might sound, he thought of her as his little sister now. He kinda thought that they would still stay in contact.
Even after his break up with Daisuke.
He wanted to tell him because he feels more indifferent now but god, he realized that he’s been thinking about a certain man more than he should’ve been.
It’s almost borderline unhealthy the amount of thinking about Daisuke he’s been doing. Despite it happening unconsciously.
Perhaps… he should just let everything be damned and tell Daisuke that he misses him.
The other day, he almost did. Daisuke was tending to his wounds from their stakeout gone wrong.
The three words that always received a look filled with so much warmth that Haru held dear to his heart and he still does… makes him afraid of rejection.
Does Daisuke, too, miss Haru the way he misses him?