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Thank Christ she lives on the ground floor, Klaus didn’t really feel like climbing up a fire escape. “D’ya think this’ll work?” he asked with a quirked eyebrow. Ben solemnly frowned at Klaus rubbing his hands together to try and warm up and stop the shivering.
“I don’t know, but it’s worth a shot. You’re gonna freeze on the streets.” Ben uncrossed and recrossed his legs with nerves. He felt bad bringing Vanya into this mess. There just weren’t any other options. None of Klaus’ “friends” had actual homes to break into, Diego would probably stab him and then drive him to rehab, Allison was too far away, and well, Luther had super strength; he’d simply restrain him and escort him off the grounds, like he does every time Klaus robs them. A horrible part of Ben felt secretly glad it had to be Vanya, he missed seeing her so much. There was too much uncertainty with purposefully getting caught robbing somewhere else, the stranger could end up hurting Klaus. “Are you sure there’ll be windows in the cells?” his brother anxiously asked Ben. He nodded as response, despite having absolutely no idea if that was factual. They could deal with his claustrophobia if and when they had to. It was preferable to his brother succumbing to the cold.
Klaus cleared his throat and wiggled his fingers dramatically, like an actor getting ready to enter stage. “It better be as easy to get drugs in there as it seems on the TV.” Klaus grumbled nervously. He’d probably tunnel his way out with a spoon if it wasn’t.
Vanya would’ve screamed when she heard a harsh knock on her window, if it weren’t for the fact she’d recently taken her medication. The fear didn’t settle when she recognised it was Klaus, if anything it intensified. She didn’t want a repeat of last time. He was lazily grinning at her and waving like the queen of England. She ambled over, and opened the window slightly.
“Hey Vanny!” he giggled, looking incredibly shifty. “Uhm... hi. Is everything okay?” Vanya squinted up at him. Her brother was fidgeting with one hand and chewing the nails of the other. She didn’t have any money to give him. She told him as much but was cut off with a hand being raised and waggled, with a frantic shake of Klaus’ head.
“No, no! It’s not that...” he looked off to his side and gave the air an apathetic smile, before shaking himself like a wet dog and bursting out with “Okay! So... you have a phone right?” he quirked his eyebrow inquisitively “Yeah, I have a phone wh-“ he gave a shush hand gesture. “I’m gonna need you to call the cops and tell them I broke in.” Of all the things her brother could’ve said, she wasn’t expecting this. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts and look up at his guilty, forced smile. “Why?” she meekly muttered. Vanya really didn’t know what else to say.
”Because of this.” he cracked in a too high pitch voice, before punching directly through her window with his bare hand and dragging himself inside. Vanya watched on in bewilderment, blinking with startled nerves. “Klaus, your hand!” She exclaimed, though it came out quite flat from the effects of her medication. ”Oh this? This is nothing, you should’ve seen the other guy.” he winked as he dragged himself to stand up fully, before tripping over her coffee table on the way to her phone. ”That... doesn’t even make sense.” she whispered in a mixture of exasperation and concern. “I’ll go get some antiseptic.” she rushed in the direction of the bathroom.
Really? Out of the whole situation she’s worried about his goddamn hand? Klaus sighed and stuck his gangly arm out to prevent his tiny sister from leaving the room. He met her gaze, looked at the phone, and then back at her. She still didn’t move. He made a shooing motion at her towards the direction of the phone, which Ben made sure to tell him was “Rude.” This was his idea! Ben was supposed to be the smart one!
Still feeling too confused and worried to move, Vanya stared up at her youngest remaining brother with a furrowed brow. “The cops.” Klaus directed her as he gave the fakest smile she’d ever seen. It reminded her of Allison.
—
The phone call was more difficult and frustrating than Klaus had anticipated. Ben was instructing Klaus on what Vanya should say, and Klaus had been relaying this to Vanya. Though, of course, Vanya didn’t know the first half. She’d never believe Ben was here. “And then you started to ransack her apartment.” Ben said with clear irritation in his tone.
“And then I- wait...” Klaus swivelled and snapped his vision to Ben, “but I haven’t...” Ben giving him his signature you’re an idiot glare was enough to make it click in Klaus’ brain. “And then I ransacked your place.” he instructed Vanya in a nervous tone. Her frown of bafflement and slack jawed silence made Klaus wiggle his eyebrows mischievously before abruptly kicking her coffee table over, pulling her cushions from her couch, and finally haphazardly throwing her trinkets across the room. He knew this shouldn’t really be fun, but it kind of was... he’d just blame the drugs for making him darkly excited.
“And... then he ransacked my apartment.” Vanya informed the officer, eyes wide with confusion, fear, and she hated to admit it - amusement.
—
“That went much better than I expected.” Klaus airily murmured from the back of the cop car. He shuffled around attempting to scratch his nose with his shoulder, since his hands were cuffed. “Hey can you scratch my nose for me, Benny?” he whined like a child, scrunching his nose like a rabbit. Ben simply stared at him with irritation and waited for Klaus to realise. “Oh!” he snorted finally after 10 seconds of pulling an array of confused expressions. He needed to stop forgetting Ben was dead.
“At least you won’t freeze to death now.” Ben grunted. He hadn’t exactly been a fan of this plan, but it was better to Klaus being dead, and with his lifestyle and how harsh the winter was set to be - his death seemed almost inevitable. He knew his brother would never listen to reason, and actually attempt to stop being such a mess so he could get a stable home. Klaus had been warned the last time he’d been sentenced to rehab that he would be sent to prison if he continued down this path, it wasn’t like Ben had suggested anything he wasn’t already heading for.
Klaus let out a noise of agreement. “God, I bet there’ll be some sexy bad boys in prison. We should’ve done this ages ago!” he sighed with a look of pure ecstasy as he gazed up at nothing, surely thinking about things Ben would rather not know about his brother’s... interests. He gathered he wasn’t going to enjoy passively observing Klaus’ time in prison.