Chapter Text
Finn shifted on his and Poe’s bed and stretched out his hand to bring Poe close to him. However, when he touched Poe’s side and found it empty, alarm bells started to go off in his head. He straightened while still being almost still asleep when he heard almost painful retching from the fresher.
“Oh no,” Finn grumbled to himself as he threw the covers from his legs. He gingerly stepped out of bed and made his way to the fresher.
The door automatically opened to reveal Poe sitting hunched over the toilet. His entire body seemed to shudder as Poe tried in vein to bring something up. Finn could hear the horrible retching sound that seemed to only succeed in bringing more pain to Poe. He then could hear Poe spit some saliva into the toilet and he wondered if Poe had thrown up anything.
‘And after all of the effort we’ve been putting forth to try and get him to eat. It doesn’t do any good if he vomits it back up at night,’ thought Finn bitterly.
“Poe,” Finn questioned so that he didn’t startle the hunched over pilot as he clutched the toilet for dear life.
Poe cautiously looked back to Finn with his eyes squinted in the light. “F-Finn,” he stuttered. He then turned back suddenly and coughed wetly before bringing up some water that Finn had managed to get him to choke down before he went to bed.
Finn headed to the sink and grabbed one washcloth. He drew it under the cool water and wrung it out to the best of his ability. He then carried it over to Poe as he kneeled beside him. “Shit, shit, let’s get you cleaned up a bit,” suggested Finn as he lifted the washcloth and started to gingerly clean up Poe’s mouth to the best of his ability. “Do you still feel sick? Do you think it’s something you ate?” Truthfully, whatever meat they had for dinner in the mess hall was slightly fighting back against Finn.
Poe shook his head, his black curly hair slightly falling against his sweaty forehead. “It wasn’t the food,” he rasped, his throat sore from the vomiting. “Just another nightmare.”
Finn hummed in understanding as he lifted his hand to flush the toilet. He rose to his feet and grabbed another washcloth. He ran it under the cool water, wrung it out, and then walked back to Poe. He crouched down and rubbed the cool cloth against his forehead and then to his cheeks and the back of his neck. “This is the third time this week that a nightmare has woken you up and shaken you up enough to make you physically ill.”
Poe wrinkled his nose in disgust as Finn continued to try and wash the sweat away. “It’s nothing,” he argued as he slumped against the wall. It was just too tiring to sit up without the support of the wall.
Finn shifted into the space directly beside him. They were still close enough to the toilet in case Poe’s stomach decided to revolt again. Finn hoped that things wouldn’t come to that. “I don’t think that’s true. They’re getting worse, Poe. You went from waking up whimpering, to sobbing, to screaming, to cold sweats, and now it’s making you physically sick. I don’t know about you, but I’d really like for you to keep this food inside of your body.”
Poe groaned and grunted as he leaned his head back against the wall. His eyes were partially closed in exhaustion when he answered. “There’s not much that we can do. I can’t exactly do grounding techniques when I’m not awake,” he pointed out dryly.
“No, that’s true. However, I think it’s time we start investing one major thing that we’re missing,” Finn suggested hopefully, knowing he was treading on thin ice with the topic he was about to bring up.
It only took Poe a moment to understand what Finn was talking about. He shook his head madly, nearly hitting it against the wall as he did so. “You know I don’t want to go there,” he hissed.
Finn continued to gingerly sponge Poe’s face. “I know that you don’t want to, but what if it helps? If something will help you sleep through the night, I think that it’s worth it to try,” Finn suggested as enthusiastically as he could muster to persuade Poe.
“I don’t want to try medication,” Poe replied simply. “It’s going to change me.”
“It’s not going to change you,” Finn urged as he lifted the washcloth and rubbed at Poe’s mouth as a thin line of saliva started to drip from the corner. “It’s going to help. It can help with the anxiety and even the insomnia. I’m sure that you’ve got to be tired.”
Poe’s eyes squeezed shut before his jaws parted in a massive yawn. “I suppose,” he mumbled as he lifted a fist and rubbed it against his forehead. “But, I’m not sure that medication is the answer.”
Finn tapped his foot impatiently. They had been having the same argument for what felt like weeks. Ever since Dr. Firn had mentioned medication, Finn had been trying to do as much research as possible. He hadn’t shown any of it to Poe in case he reacted negatively to it. However, things seemed to reach a head when he realized how physically sick his nightmares and terror were making him.
“Do you know for a fact that it’s absolutely not the answer,” questioned Finn gently.
Poe frowned, his mouth starting to slightly turn upward in amusement. “Are you going to try and turn everything that I say?”
“If that’s what it takes,” replied Finn defiantly.
Poe grunted as he started to lean forward with his hand pressed against the side of his stomach. He swallowed thickly in an attempt to stop himself from being sick again. He closed his eyes as he tried to soothe the nausea that had suddenly rose inside of him as tears nearly pooled from his eyes.
Finn watched him fearfully before he reached around Poe’s shoulders. He tried to let out some soothing whispers as he pulled Poe backwards. He rested his head gingerly against the wall as Finn rubbed at his shoulder as reassuringly as possible. “You okay? Has your stomach settled,” Finn fretted.
“For now,” breathed Poe with his eyes still closed. It was as if he was afraid that if he opened his eyes then his stomach would betray him. “We’ll see what the next ten minutes bring.”
Finn nodded in agreement, sighing deeply through his nose. “ Do you want to talk about what the nightmare was about,” he suggested. He knew there was a good chance that Poe wouldn’t tell him. Finn didn’t want to make it worse either, but he couldn’t help if he couldn’t know.
Poe shifted uncomfortably as he glanced up at Finn in exhaustion. The last thing he wanted to do was relive it, but he knew how persistent Finn was. He may just keep asking. “Bombing mission. Heavy casualty. It was one of my earlier missions with the Resistance. I remember loosing so many pilots.” Poe leaned forward suddenly and lurched for the toilet. He started to dry heave, unable to bring anything up since there wasn’t anything left in his stomach.
Finn mentally cursed himself as he leaned forward to rub his hand against Poe’s back. He could feel Poe’s stomach straining and contracting with effort, only succeeding in forcing more agony through Poe’s body.
Finn wasn’t quite sure how long they had been sitting there when Poe finally deemed that his stomach’s churning had halted for the time being. He fell back against against Finn as Finn wiped his mouth for him with the washcloth. Sweat was beginning to collect on his upper lip and forehead while his body was weak with fatigue. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes open and Finn was almost positive that he was dehydrated. It seemed that any attempt Finn had to help Poe, his body automatically had different ideas.
“How about we get you back to bed,” suggested Finn as he leaned down to kiss Poe’s forehead. He was pleased not to feel fever. It seemed that Poe was right and this wasn’t because of illness.
Poe grumbled a bit before deciding that a soft bed was better than the c0ld fresher floor. Finn stood first and offered a hand toward Poe. “We can have this conversation in the morning, alright? Or at least, later in the morning.”
Poe stretched out his hands and grasped Finn’s hands. Finn easily hauled him to his feet and kissed his forehead on the way up. “There we go,” chided Finn as he led Poe out of the room and turned off the light in the process. They made their way over to the bed with Finn helping Poe settle back down.
Finn climbed over him, settling back on his side of the bed toward the wall. Poe reached up to flick off the small lamp, shifting over so that he was closer to Finn and could place his head so that it was almost buried into the side of Finn’s neck. Finn tried not to move, even though Poe’s breath tickled him.
“Get some sleep,” Finn suggested while Poe seemed to tense beside him as if afraid to let himself sleep. “We’ll talk about this in the morning.”
Neither one was quite looking forward to it.