Chapter Text
“HrchrhsSH! HrchrHsSH! HRchrSH!”
Finn pitched forward into a lifted fist that he had pressed against his nose. He had been fighting back the tickle for what felt like hours. He had woken up that morning to a slightly sore throat and throbbing headache. He had chalked it up to not getting proper sleep for the last couple of weeks because of Poe’s frequent nightmares and flashbacks. Finn had hoped that just staying in his room and resting while Poe was at his support group would help. Unfortunately, time seemed to only make it worse.
Finn rubbed his wrist under his nose as he saw BB-8 roll toward him with a pack of Resistance issue tissues in his small claw. BB-8 let out a worried beep that Finn could sort of make out as one of worry. “Ugh, thanks,” Finn mumbled as he reached down to take the pack from the little droid.
He opened the pack and brought up the tissue to his face and blew heavily. It did more harm than good and he groaned as he felt pressure seem to press against his sinuses. It seemed that this wasn’t going to be just a little cold.
That fact terrified Finn. Poe was jumpy on a good day—any loud noise, exclamation, a dropped item, or a million other things could set him off. Poe had been getting better, yes, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t still have his struggles. In fact, the past week had been filled with nightmares and flashbacks—more so than usual if that was even possible. Finn had lost track of the amount of times he held Poe close as flashbacks plagued his mind, distorting his reality and sending him into heightened hysteria. Poe would fight against Finn’s efforts to help him until his muscles became fatigued and he would grow limp against him. Finn knew that Poe wasn’t Poe in those moments, but it still took a toll on him.
BB-8 let out some more sullen beeps and Finn couldn’t help but glare at the small droid. “You know that I can’t understand you, right?” BB-8 tried to let even more furious beeps until Finn waved him off. “I’m sure that you’re commenting on how I feel and I feel fine.”
There was an edge to Finn’s voice that made BB-8 back up slowly. His dome lowered down and Finn grunted as he reached down a hand to rest it on BB-8’s dome. “Awe, buddy. I promise that I’m fine. It’s not that bad. I just don’t know how Poe was going to react.” They hadn’t dealt with an illness since Poe had become ill himself. It was sure to complicate things.
While Finn was pondering this, the door began to open. Finn quickly shoved the tissues into the nightstand compartment, heart racing. He grasped his PADD and started to read it as Poe headed in with a folder in hand. His eyes were downcast and he didn’t have his usual cool and excited demeanor that he usually had after support group.
“How did it go,” Finn asked, praying that his voice didn’t clue Poe in.
Poe shrugged. “It was alright.” He set his folder down on the nightstand before pulling off his shirt as he walked toward the fresher. There was an edge to his voice that Finn didn’t like. He was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Finn was torn between wanting to ask more questions and risk pushing Poe and letting it go in favor of getting some sleep. If he did that, Finn was sure that the unresolved feelings would express themselves in a flashback or nightmare sometime during the night. Either way, it was a lose-lose scenario in Finn’s eyes.
Sucking up the temptation to go to bed early, Finn threw the covers off of himself. He made his way over to the fresher, slightly leaning against the door frame. “Okay, what was alright about it?” He recalled the technique that Dr. Firn had told him about. If Poe said something was good, ask him why it was good. If Poe said something was bad, ask him why it was bad. That way he had to think more about the answer and why he said what he did.
Poe was leaning against the sink and slowly turned to look over his shoulder to Finn. “I talked to Mhina after Group. It was a good conversation.” With that he turned on the sink and began to wash his hands. It was then that Finn saw that the skin over one of Poe’s knuckles was broken and bleeding.
Finn leaned against the door with his arms crossed over his chest in frustration. “What did you talk about?”
“I told her I wouldn’t tell anyone else and I’m not going to.” Poe closed the water off and dried his hands on a nearby hand towel. He threw his discarded shirt into their shared laundry basket before heading out of the fresher, turning off the light without even waiting for Finn to follow him.”But, it’s nothing to worry about. Can we head to bed now?”
As much as Finn would’ve appreciated them finishing the conversation that they started, the desire for sleep was too tempting. He nodded to Poe and motioned to the bed. “I think that we can,” he offered as he headed back to the bed. He swallowed a few coughs that threatened to bubble from his chest. His eyes were squeezed shut as he tried to will a blossoming tickle from showing itself. He had thought about telling Poe that he was ill, but he had clearly thought better of it. There would be time for that when they were both in better head spaces.
The two of them slid into the bed side by side. While Poe got comfortable, Finn let out a few weak coughs against his shoulder. He glanced back and Poe fearfully, but the Resistance leader didn’t seem to have noticed.
Finn and Poe settled down, laying on their backs in silence. Neither moved and neither spoke. Finn held his breath as he tried to will his body not to give him away. His nose still tickled almost uncomfortably all the way to back of his sinuses. His throat was sore and scratchy at the same time. His body was starting to feel an almost deep ache that was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.
Suddenly, Poe seemed to flop over onto Finn. He buried his head against the crook of Finn’s neck and sucked in a wavering breath. “I’m sorry,” Poe apologized harshly.
“What for,” questioned Finn distractedly. He was only thinking that Poe was going to feel how hot his skin was or the slight rasp that had taken over his breathing now that his ear was dangerously close to his lungs.
Poe lifted a hand and rested it on Finn’s chest, slightly playing with his chest hair. “You were right. I did something stupid. Someone gave Mhina a hard time and I dealt with him.”
“I thought you were going to talk to Dr. Firn about your anger. You promised,” pointed out Finn as he looked down to the hand Poe had on his chest. It was the one with the bruised knuckles and he could only imagine Poe becoming angry enough to strike anyone who so much as looked at Mhina wrong. Poe had always felt protective over her and Finn couldn’t fault him for that. However, Finn knew that Poe couldn’t keep starting fights.
Poe set his jaw in determination. “It’s easier said than done when you hear someone try to take advantage of her!She’s not going to stand up for herself, at least not yet. Besides, it was one punch and he backed down. He won’t dare do that again.”
Despite the tickling of Finn’s nose, he lowered his head and kissed Poe on top of his head, his hair tickling his ever sensitive nose. He wanted to offer a solution when the building feeling began to overwhelm him. His breath hitched feebly as tears threatened to leak from his eyes. He ripped away from Poe as far as possible so that he didn’t risk spraying him.
“HrchrhsHs! HrchrhsHs! HrchsSHS!”
The sound was loud and direct. Poe immediately pulled away from Finn with his breath starting to quicken nervously and his eyes rounded in alarm. Finn sniffled in the aftermath and looked back to see that Poe had pulled as far away from him as possible without falling off of the bed. His hands started to shake and Finn knew that his fear was coming true. Poe was startled because of the harshness and loudness of his sneezes.
“Ugh, sorry,” Finn apologized after a few moments of tense silence. “Your hair tickled my nose.”
Poe said nothing as he appeared to be trying to reassure himself that he was where he thought he was. Finn could see him mentally struggling and he wasn’t sure whether or not to leave Poe to his own devices or offer to help him. “C’mere,” Finn instructed after a moment.
It took a few seconds of indecisiveness before Poe decided that he could trust Finn, even if his body’s own instincts weren’t. He shifted over to his boyfriend and hesitated before he rested his head back on Finn’s shoulder. Finn wrapped one arm around Poe’s shoulders while using his other hand to rub at his nose. Poe was tense again him and Finn tried not to take it seriously.
“Comfortable,” asked Finn.
Poe nodded. “Yes.” He didn’t seem willing to say anything more and Finn wasn’t looking to press.
Finn was too tired to fret too much about Poe for the time being. He felt his eyes start to close and it wasn’t long before he drifted off into a deep sleep.