Chapter Text
Poe knew that this time was coming. It had been a long time in coming and he had tried to push it from his mind for as long as possible. However, it was no longer a distant date that he had to worry about. It was tonight and Poe was far from ready.
He found himself nearly shaking as he stood next to his X-Wing. He had been doing some repairs and cleaning even though he couldn’t fly it. Finn and him had argued about it for a while before Poe finally agreed that it would be best for him if he was grounded for the time being. It had been one of the worst moments of his life to know that something that brought him so much joy, something that was so part of him, was taken away. He knew that Finn wasn’t doing it out of malice or enjoyment, but concern. There was no saying what would happen what would happen if Poe had a flashback or panic attack while in his X-Wing without anyone to talk him down from it. Flying took skill and concentration, which left Poe as soon as his memory decided to play with it. Poe knew that it was for the best, but that didn’t mean he had to like it or that he couldn’t at least spend time beside his beloved ship.
Poe looked down to the invitation in hand. He knew what it was without opening it. He had been the one to design them with help from Finn months ago. The problem was that Poe hadn’t had the issues that he had now back then. This had seemed like a great idea to get everyone together and take the pressure off of some of the stresses that came up. He wasn’t feeling the pressure release in any sense of the word. If anything, this reminder caused a tremor of terror to pulse through him.
A gentle and yet concerned beep pulled Poe’s attention. He looked down to see BB-8 rolling up to him slowly. The little astromech had been helping Poe with the repairs and had helped with a diagnostic too. It was one of the only times that they got to spend together alone without Finn and D-O. Poe relished in these times with his best friend. He also used the time to reassure BB-8 that Finn hadn’t replaced him. Finn and him were different in their relationship than the one that Poe had with BB-8. Not weaker or stronger, but different.
BB-8 noticed his friend stiffen and he cautiously rolled forward. Poe quickly lifted a hand and rubbed it against his eyes that threatened to leak tears. “I’m fine,” he exclaimed a little too quickly. “It’s stupid anyway.” He let his hand fall with the invitation in hand. The orange and white droid was able to tilt his dome so that he could read what it said. Once he did, he let out a long and almost apologetic beep.
Poe lifted a hand and rubbed at the back of his neck before pulling at his curly hair that hung down and rested on the back of his neck. “It’s fine. I’m fine. It doesn’t matter. I can handle it. I’m fine!” His voice grew sharp and strained as he dropped the invitation. He turned back to his X-Wing and ducked under it as he continued with the repairs while muttering almost manically under his breath.
BB-8 hesitated a moment as worry worked through his small body and processing circuits. His dome swiveled to Poe and then to the door that led from the hanger. He made a decision as he rolled forward quickly, bypassing other pilots even after they called to him or exclaimed when he almost ran over their toes. BB-8 didn’t care. He was on a mission!
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A shrill beep startled Finn where he had been trying to fix a holoprojector. His head snapped upwards in alarm and collided with the cool metal of the device. He swore under his breath as he sat back to see BB-8 rolling toward him. “BB-8, what was that for,” groaned Finn as he lifted a hand to rub at his head. He was relieved that he didn’t feel any sticky blood, but he would certainly had a dull throb in his head for the rest of the day.
BB-8 let out a string of pungent beeps and harsh whirls while his dome swiveled on his circular body. Finn nodded slowly as he tried to follow. He didn’t speak binary despite Poe’s attempt to teach him. It was just too complicated for him. Finn and BB-8 had reached a general understanding that Finn couldn’t understand and it usually wasn’t a problem, except now.
“Yeah, yeah, BB-8 I can’t understand you,” Finn exclaimed while BB-8 continued to chatter worryingly.
The orange and white droid’s dome fell forward in understanding. He then perked up as he rolled toward the door of the small room. He turned back to look at Finn and Finn realized that BB-8 wanted him to follow him. “Alright, I’m coming.” He grunted as he rose to his feet and followed BB-8.
BB-8 broke into a quick roll so that Finn had to run to keep up with him. He could sense the urgency in BB-8 and Finn’s own concern was heightened. He knew that BB-8 had been with Poe and rarely ever left his side, especially since Poe had started to really struggle. Finn always felt better when BB-8 or D-O was with him just to make sure that things went smoothly. BB-8 hadn’t needed to find Finn yet and it was terrifying that BB-8 felt the need to see out Finn and do it with such urgency.
The two rushed into the hanger. It was mostly empty thanks to most of the pilots off on recon missions or out on patrol. There were only a few stragglers that were cleaning their X-Wings or just chattering excitedly like warblers. Finn recognized a few of them, but he didn’t have time to stop and chat. BB-8 was still frantically rolling forward and Finn was willing his legs to be able to keep up with him.
Finally, Finn saw Poe’s X-Wing loom into view. It looked to be in pristine condition from what he could tell. Poe came down often to make repairs or clean it even though he hadn’t used it in weeks. It had taken all of Finn’s persuasion and a little anger to get him to admit that it would be best if he didn’t fly. Finn had presented it to him as a sort of choice, telling him that he didn’t want Poe to get hurt or hurt others. It had still taken almost a week of going back and forth before Poe finally concluded that he needed to be grounded. Finn knew how much it had broken Poe, but he also knew that Poe was in no condition to fly at the moment. He had tried to reassure him it wouldn’t be forever, and yet it hadn’t brought Poe any peace.
Finn gradually drew to a halt, feeling his chest heaving for each breath. He kept himself as composed as possible as he looked around his X-Wing, trying to catch a glimpse of the curly haired Resistance pilot. “Poe?”
Finn didn’t receive an answer, but he heard muttering from under the X-Wing. Finn crouched down and saw Poe on his back with a wrench in his hand and part of a panel removed. He seemed to be working diligently. On what? Finn didn’t know. Finn was aware that Poe would sometimes create needless projects on his X-Wing when he was bored or anxious to just give him something to do. Yet, this seemed like something else.
“Poe,” Finn repeated a little louder this time. He tried to have authority and strength in his voice, but he feared that it was coming out flat.
Poe turned his head to the side, a line of grease spread across his cheek. “What,” he asked savagely, a fire shinning in his eyes.
Finn matched his anger with calmness. “I was just wondering if we could talk?”
“Why would I need to do that,” Poe sniffed as he lifted his wrench back up into his X-Wing while he reached up with his other hand to shift some wires so that he could see better.
Finn set his jaw as he tried not to let frustration overwhelm him. Matching Poe’s aggression wasn’t going to help anything. “Can’t your boyfriend just show up to talk? I thought that you would like that,” Finn answered as he shifted so that he was on his knees in a less painful position.
Poe snorted as he jabbed the wrench forward. It caught on a wire and sparks rained down on Poe as he tore the wrench away. “Damnit,” Poe roared as he tried to sit up only to hit his head on the belly of his X-Wing.
Finn knew that feeling. His head still throbbed from where he had hit it. He wanted to offer something, anything. He sensed that it would only push Poe closer to the edge and that was the only reason he refrained. Finn watched as Poe lifted a greasy hand to his forehead with his teeth gritted in pain. He rolled out from under the X-Wing and threw the wrench into a nearby toolbox, causing a few other tools to fall on the ground due to the force.
BB-8 rolled over to Finn and Finn noticed something in his small claw of a hand. He raised an eyebrow, kneeling down and grasping the paper that was in BB-8’s claw. Finn turned it over and felt his stomach drop.
In his hand was the invitation for the Resistance Diplomatic Party.