Chapter Text
"Are you sure that you're going to be okay? You know, I can still cancel the mission. It's way more important that I stay here, with you," Finn rambled as he stood with Poe in the center of the room that was used for Poe's trauma support group. It hadn't started yet and people were just beginning to trickle in.
Poe stretched out his hands and clutched Finn's slightly larger hands in his. "This is an important mission. There needs to be a General there. They deserve you, not my fucked up self."
"You're not fucked up," muttered Finn under his breath. "Far from it. However, that doesn't mean that I don't want to leave. I haven't left you since....." Finn trailed off. He knew that he had been separated from Poe during the war. Once his symptoms became regular was when Finn had become nearly connected to Poe at the hip. Finn wasn't ashamed of that. He knew that was what Poe needed. Poe was doing better, but Finn didn't think that he was going well enough to be on his own.
"What seems to be going on here?"
Both Poe and Finn slightly jumped when Dr. Firn walked forward. He had his normal journal that he used to take notes tucked under his arm while his kind eyes seemed even softer when he gazed at the two of them.
"Oh, Dr. Firn, you scared us," Finn told him as he felt his rapidly beating heart finally seeming to settle.
Dr. Firn slightly waved him off. "Is something wrong? I could hear you from my office," he commented with a glance back to a tiny door in the corner that led to Dr. Firn's modest office, if you could even call it that. Finn preferred the term closet.
Poe set his jaw. "Sorry. Finn and I were just discussing that it would be fine if he left me for a few days while he sees to a very important mission," he explained with a pointed look to the former Stormtrooper.
Finn slightly dipped his head in respect before turning back to Dr. Firn. "I understand that, but I don't feel comfortable leaving Poe alone. He has nightmares every night and his flashbacks aren't getting any better. I don't feel comfortable leaving him alone."
Poe looked like he wanted to argue further, but Dr. Firn lifted his hand to cut him off. Poe snapped his mouth shut frustratedly. "I see both sides of this," explained Dr. Firn. "I am in no way an expert on this, but would it work if I checked up on him, or maybe some members of the group?"
Excitement showed on Poe's face as he crossed his arms over his chest and nodded quickly. "Yeah, Finn, I say that's a good compromise."
Finn licked his lips to prolong his answer. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other almost nervously. "I don't know if other members of a support group is the best idea," he began hesitantly.
"I can watch them every step of the way. This may be good for you to spend some time apart," suggested Dr. Firn in his usual calm tone. "Don't you think?"
Finn loved Poe, he really did. However, their personalities could clash sometimes, especially now. Everything Poe did was heightened and any title thing that Finn did could set Poe off. It wasn't that Finn was tired of it, but he certainly needed a break. This mission was beyond important and Finn knew that Poe wasn't going to be ready to take it on. That meant that the responsibility fell to Finn and he was ready for it. He just wasn't ready to leave Poe by himself. Poe had been doing better, but he still had his low moments. He sometimes spoke in a way that concerned Finn if the former stormtrooper was being honest. It was those moments that freaked out Finn the most.
"I suppose," Finn mumbled as he shuffled his feet under him. "But it's—"
"It's nothing. I'm going to be fine," interrupted Poe as he stretched out his hand and rubbed it against Finn's bicep. "I was fine before you showed up and I can manage without you for a few days now."
Finn wanted to point out that he had been fine without him before all of the memories from the war showed up. Finn didn't want to point that out and risk hurting Poe's feelings. Instead, he nodded slowly. "You sure that you can handle it," Finn asked slowly.
Poe gave a vigorous nod. "Of course I can."
"You know, I was thinking that maybe we have a movie night or a game night or something. That would be fun, right," questioned Dr. Firn with a look to Poe and then to Finn.
Poe nodded enthusiastically. Finn was slightly relieved that Dr. Firn was suggesting things to distract Poe while he was gone. It also meant that Poe wouldn't be cooped up in their room and alone with his own thoughts. Finn would certainly feel a lot better if that wasn't the case. "Yeah, that sounds fun to me," agreed Finn.
"See, everything will be fine with me for a few days," Poe continued as he took Finn's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I will be fine. You do what you need to do and I'll do what I need to do here."
Finn wasn't sure whether or not to believe what Poe was saying. He eventually let out a sigh as he lifted his and Poe's hand to his lips and brushed a light kiss across the knuckles. "You're sure, like really sure? Because if you even have an ounce of unsure inside of you I won't go."
"I will be fine," Poe murmured. His voice was strong and didn't shake in fear. If anything, he seemed confident and unfazed. It almost brought Finn reassurance.....almost.
Finn looked once more to Dr. Firn. He searched the older man's face to see if he could detect any hint of fear or worry about leaving Poe. However, he couldn't find anything except a tiny nod from Dr. Firn. "Alright, then I guess I'm going."
Before Poe could say anything back, there was laughing at the door as Jub and Ri-Tun made their way in. "Hey, Poe," called Ri-Tun as he lifted his hand and gave a tiny wave. "Jub and I were debating the speed capabilities between the X-Wings and TIE fighters. Think you can settle this dispute."
Poe didn't even blink before nodding eagerly. "Of course! If it's one thing I know, it's ships." He leaned over and kissed Finn's cheek before releasing his hand and enthusiastically joining the other two members of the support group.
Finn was left still feeling a tightness in his chest and a reluctant feeling washed over him as Dr. Firn slightly leaned over. "I know that you're worried and you have a right to be. Poe is going to be fine. We will all make sure of it," he murmured softly.
Finn wasn't convinced. "And what happens if you're wrong?"
"Then we will know that he's not ready and you won't have to leave him alone for a while," answered Dr. Firn as he crossed his arms over his chest. "However, you should ask the same question to yourself: what happens if you're wrong?"
Finn slightly bowed his head as he heard Jub, Poe, and Ri-Tun all laughing enthusiastically. No matter what he felt or what he wanted, it didn't matter. He knew that it was time to let Poe go.