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It wasn’t unusual for Klaus to wake up in a grungy alleyway, what was considerably more unusual was Diego being the one to wake him. Especially being woken by a harsh slap in the face.
“What the fuck?!” Klaus grunted as he rubbed at his cheek he presumed would be sore, had he been able to feel his face. “I think you’re taking this whole” he gestured lazily to Diego’s leather outfit “BDSM thing too far.” Klaus wheezed, finding his own joke absolutely hilarious. To be fair, even Ben was smirking - but maybe that was because of the whole slap to the face thing.
Diego rolled his eyes and yanked Klaus upwards. “I’ve been trying to wake you up for five minutes,” he grumbled as he forced Klaus to stand “kinda thought you were dead...” Diego was glad there had been no one around to witness his moment of panic as he had tried to find his brother’s pulse. Maybe he’d smacked Klaus a little too hard due to that stress - but it was his own fault. Diego began to drag Klaus out of the alley and on to the busy street. Klaus kept tripping over his own feet, making Diego clench his jaw in irritation. His car was nearby, he could calm down a bit once he had his brother locked inside it.
“Where are we going?” Klaus whined, sounding like a child asking are we there yet? on a long car journey. He had half the mind to break from Diego’s grip and bolt down the street, but he was way too wasted for that. Ben seemed to be enjoying watching Klaus’ kidnapping, Casper was really easily entertained these days. Klaus let out an exhausted groan when he saw Diego’s shit-heap car. “No! I only just got out!” he tried to fight off Diego’s grasp but nearly slumped to the ground instead - ironically making Diego hold him tighter.
It was difficult for Diego to hold back a chuckle. “Relax, no rehab.” he dryly explained, choosing to leave out the part about where they were actually going. He had to be locked in the car first, the plan wouldn’t work otherwise. Klaus seemed to relax at this, even though Diego had ominously neglected to tell him where they were headed. His brother allowed Diego to shove him in the back seat. Why the hell he liked to sit in the back, Diego didn’t know. He’d stopped trying to understand Klaus years ago.
Ben watched from the seat beside Klaus as Diego hopped in the drivers seat, and promptly locked the car doors. Where were they going? There was a plastic bag tucked in the footwell of Ben’s seat, but he couldn’t touch the damn thing to look inside. Klaus was already falling asleep again, he probably wasn’t in the mood to translate Ben’s questions. Ben attempted anyway, and received the finger in response.
Diego squinted in confusion, through his rear view mirror, as he witnessed his brother give thin air the finger. He wasn’t even going to ask. “You need to put on that shirt in the bag.” Diego gruffly demanded. Klaus groggily looked at him through the rear view mirror. “Is it cute?” his brother asked earnestly. He’d been shoved into a car journey with an unknown location, and that was the question he asked? Diego tightened his grip on the steering wheel, already growing infuriated. “Yes, it’s very cute.” he lied.
—
The shirt was unspeakably hideous, but Diego’s threat to actually force him into rehab was enough to make Klaus scramble to change into it. He hadn’t worn a button up since he’d left the academy at seventeen. Speaking of, they were just now pulling into their old mansion’s drive. The old prick’s car was parked up outside. “Nope. No. I’m just gonna go,” Klaus pulled on the door handle frantically “take me to rehab instead.” He began forcing his weight on the door as if that would miraculously unlock it.
Yeah, Diego thought, his plan had been deceitful, but he really missed mom ever since Luther and dad banned him from visiting. Klaus had always been the lookout/distraction, after all. “Look, relax,” he said gently, turning to look at Klaus “you’re just gonna distract ‘em.” This didn’t help matters, Klaus instead just became more desperate with his clawing at the door. Diego sucked his teeth. “I’ll give you fifty dollars.” he finally offered. He didn’t want to give his brother money, but if he had to then he had to. Klaus immediately stopped his clamoring and flashed a mischievous smile. “What’s the backstory?” he asked with an excited clap.
—
Ben was pissed at Diego for offering to give Klaus fifty fucking dollars. Their brother knew Klaus wouldn’t say no; he’d do a lot worse for fifty dollars. Diego wasn’t the one who had to watch helplessly as Klaus overdosed. But... Ben did kind of want to see the show unfold. He longed to know how Luther and dad would react to this. His brothers stood on the academy’s doorstep, as Diego tried to make Klaus’ wild hair more presentable. He preened it for a few moments, but eventually gave up. It was the best it was going to get. Quite frankly, Ben thought, his hair was the least of their concerns. Klaus had just taken speed whilst Diego was distracted scoping out the entrances.
“Okay, so you remember what we said, yeah?” Diego asked gently, placing a supportive hand on Klaus’ back. Klaus gave him an animated thumbs up “I want to come back to the academy, and help Luther on missions!” he exclaimed, absolutely thrilled by the drama of the whole thing. Diego patted his back before skulking off to the back of the house so he could sneak in through the kitchen. Klaus shook himself like a wet dog, and rang the academy’s doorbell.
—
Klaus sipped daintily on the tea mom had just handed to him. He wondered how Diego had managed to make her act like he wasn’t in the house - maybe he had been right this whole time, and she wasn’t just a beautiful piece of AI. Tea was fucking disgusting... maybe it was just because it had no booze in it, Klaus couldn’t even remember when he’d last had a drink with no alcohol. He held back a grimace and placed his china cup back on its saucer, situated on the coffee table. Luther hadn’t stopped glaring at him since he had entered the mansion. It must be straining his eyes, Klaus thought. He had expected an interrogation from Luther, so he was actually rather disappointed not to receive one.
“So you truly wish to return, Master Klaus?“ Pogo inquired from the couch opposite Klaus’. Klaus attempted his most angelic smile. “Yes, Pogo. I am a changed man!” he proclaimed with enthusiastic jazz hands. Ben shot him a tone it down look. Klaus hastily shoved his hands back down, and clasped them demurely atop his knee. Pogo looked on with curiosity, whilst Luther looked furious. “I’ve finally realised that my true calling is being Number Four.” he tried not to snort at his own words. How did Luther really believe this shit?
—
Grace sauntered back into the kitchen, gleaming lovingly at her son. Diego felt his heart skip a beat, he had missed her so much. He nibbled on the candy she’d given him; the same kind of candy she’d sneak to them when they were kids. Reginald hated sugar, said it made children act too childish. Diego watched his mom put her apron back on, and it made him feel deeply nostalgic. He had always hated his home life as a kid, and he never wanted to go back to that - but he did miss one part... his mom. He wished he had the brains to be able to reprogram her, give her the ability to escape from Reginald.
“Chocolate chip or snickerdoodle?” Grace asked cheerily, placing a large glass of milk in front of her son. Diego looked conflicted for a moment, considering if this would be good for his diet. “Growing boys need calcium!” she playfully scolded with a waggle of her finger. Diego beamed up at her. “Chocolate chip” he replied, sounding truly at peace. Spending time with mom was his own personal heaven. Diego kept an ear out for Klaus’ signal, but he hoped he wouldn’t hear it for a while. He wanted to spend as long with his mom as he could, who knows when he’d get another chance.
—
”Ask him where dad is!” Ben nagged, glaring daggers at the back of Luther’s head. He wanted to know what dad’s reaction would be, Ben deserved the entertainment. Being stuck with Klaus was depressing, but it could also be very enthralling - the man just thrived for the theatrics of life. Right on cue, Reginald waltzed in, as snooty as the last time Ben and Klaus saw him. His facial expression was almost neutral, save for the undertone of disgust.
”Number Four,” he barked, coming to a stop to stand stiffly near Luther “I see you have finally come to your senses.” Klaus had to work hard not to join Ben in his snorting laughter. Klaus pursed his lips to compose himself. “Yes...” he murmured with faux sincerity “I realised drugs are just no fun!” he wheezed slightly before containing himself and clearing his throat. It always baffled Klaus that people really thought he was having fun... it had stopped being fun years ago. Luther, for the idiot he was, seemed to become less angry at this statement.
Reginald marched over towards Klaus, placed his hands behind his back, and peered down at his son like a science experiment. That was all they ever were to him anyway, Klaus supposed. “We shall place you in a detox program immediately.” he declared. Klaus felt a panic rising in his throat. Shitshitshitshitshit. He lightly shook his head to maintain his composure. “No no, that won’t be necessary!” he exclaimed, flashing a panicked grin. Reginald held his monocle and bent to inspect Klaus closer. He could practically feel his dad’s breath on his face. “Your pupils are enlarged, Number Four.” he sternly announced. Shitshitshitshitshit. Klaus bounced up from his seat, throwing his hands up in surrender - almost headbutting his father in the process. “It’s just the light, so dark in here don’t you think? You should probably get some lamps, it’ll open the place right up...” he rambled, barely containing his hysteria.
Ben stopped chewing on his cheek to shout at Klaus to “Calm down!”, which received a hiss in return - a literal hiss. This seemed to alarm dad, Pogo, and Luther. The pit in Ben’s nonexistent stomach grew deeper. He should’ve known this was a bad idea. “It is no such thing,” Reginald snapped, sounding deeply insulted at the criticism of his interior decor “Number One, control Number Four at once!” he ordered.
—
”Don’t you ever want to leave the grounds, mom?” Diego asked through a mouthful of chocolate chip cookie. If he could get his mom outside, maybe it would be easier to meet. He couldn’t keep going to these extremes. Would her programming even allow such a thing? He wasn’t sure, but realistically her programming shouldn’t allow her to sneak around either - and here they were.
Grace tilted her head to the side and grinned at her son, she lifted a hand to cup his cheek softly. “Now why would I want to do that when you’re right here?” she cooed. Diego sighed deeply. How could she be so capable of some things but not others? She was a person, she could do this. “But mom, I don’t live he-“ he was cut off by frantic banging on the kitchen window. He turned to locate the noise with intense curiosity, only to locate a manic Klaus gesturing for him to come over. Diego cracked his neck, and jumped up from his stool. “I love you, mom” he kissed her hand gently before rushing to the door. He spared his mom a final wistful glance before sprinting off to his car with Klaus.