Even Numbers
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“Diego!” Diego scrunched his eyes shut with utter despair, devastated that Klaus had run into him. Diego had moved out of the academy several months ago, and had been thrilled with the peace and quiet. Klaus was anything but peace, and definitely not quiet. At least he wasn’t Luther. “You drive now?” Diego speedily shoved the hand holding his keys behind his back, knowing with absolute certainty that Klaus would use him as a chauffeur if he knew the answer was yes. “Nope.” he curtly replied, trying to saunter off before Klaus could irritate him to death.
Series
- Part 1 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 1 of Even Numbers
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Klaus manically pounded on the gym door. “It’s three AM.” Ben informed him scoldingly. Klaus made petty eye contact with his brother and banged louder. “DiDi!” he yelled, unthinkably desperate to gossip about Allison’s impending divorce. Ben was no fun, he actually had some empathy. “Dieg-“ Klaus was interrupted by the door flinging open and being harshly yanked inside. “You’re gonna get me fired!” Diego hissed, sticking his head out of the door to check if anyone was on the street. Klaus rolled his eyes so hard they could’ve had a sound effect.
Series
- Part 74 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 2 of Even Numbers
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Request
One shot surrounding Klaus manipulating Diego into getting his nipple pierced - partly because he wants him to get over his fear of needles, partly because it would be hilarious.
Series
- Part 73 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 3 of Even Numbers
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Putting his hand over the phone to cover the mic, Klaus gave Ben an utterly befuddled glance. “A very rude man picked up.” he explained, struggling to make sense of what was happening. Diego had only passed on his number, not actually his new address. Klaus and Ben had thought maybe he’d just needed space to brood after the release of Vanya’s book.
Ben furrowed his brow at his brother, wondering if he was having some sort of stroke. “Obviously?” Diego was always rude to Klaus, that’s just how it was.
Series
- Part 72 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 4 of Even Numbers
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“Is that a smiley face?” Eudora wondered, curiously pointing up to the constellation of knife holes in Diego’s ceiling. “No.” he grunted sheepishly, nudging her to get her attention away from his artwork. Eudora giggled slyly, smirking at Diego’s discomfort. “That’s so cute.” she teased, glancing back up to the smile. A brash knocking started coming from the front door.
Diego groaned, he knew that knock. “Can you go in the bedroom?” he pleaded, bracing himself for this impending interaction with Klaus.
Series
- Part 71 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 5 of Even Numbers
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Opening the door and seeing his brother doused in sweat in the middle of fall, Diego slammed the door shut again and locked it immediately. “I have knives.” he threatened apathetically, them both knowing that he would never use them. He could practically hear Klaus pouting, he was that predictable. “Please, it’s the last time I swear.”
Series
- Part 70 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 6 of Even Numbers
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Klaus leaned between the seats to intensely stare at Diego, obnoxiously closely. Diego shoved a hand over Klaus’ face to try and get him to shuffle back. Klaus childishly licked it. Diego recoiled so intensely he nearly knocked the window out with his elbow. “You’re disgusting!” Diego yelled, looking at his hand like Klaus had the plague, AIDS, and leprosy all at once. “You know I have to know now that you won’t tell me!” Klaus moaned, violently wiggling Diego’s headrest around. “It’s reverse psychology... or something!” he exclaimed. Ben snorted mockingly, so Klaus kicked backwards through him.
Series
- Part 66 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 7 of Even Numbers
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Pulling up with his mentor to bring a detainee to the station, Diego had to stop himself from throwing his head into his hands with despair. His boss couldn’t find out they were brothers. Reluctantly stepping out of the squad car, Diego gave Klaus a pointed glare and subtly shook his head. “Don’t you dare.” he mouthed to an outrageously thrilled looking Klaus. He was grinning like he’d just won a gold medal, whilst also looking like he was a moment away from tearing someone’s head off.
Series
- Part 67 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 8 of Even Numbers
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“I don’t trust you.” Klaus hissed. Diego pursed his lips irritatedly, annoyed at himself for being so predictable. “Well I don’t trust you.” Diego bit back.
Klaus berated himself for being so predictable. “Put the drugs on the counter, and I’ll put the knife on the counter.” he offered persuasively. Diego neared the counter, still firmly untrusting. “If you don’t, I’ll flush them.” Diego threatened through gritted teeth. Klaus didn’t know what to threaten Diego with... his brother had a shit tonne of knives. The only reason he was bothered about this blade was because he was freaking out about Klaus getting hurt. “If you don’t, I’ll stab myself!” Klaus blurted self-assuredly, grinning like a maniac. This would work.
Series
- Part 65 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 9 of Even Numbers
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Summary
Klaus couldn’t believe his luck that he’d stumbled upon Diego’s car. He’d thought he was hallucinating, until Diego had cranked down the window and flicked him in the centre of the forehead.
“I wish you stayed in Germany.” Diego grunted, rubbing at his temples stressfully. Imagining his brother with a German accent caused Diego to stifle a chuckle. “Me too. Those lederhosen? I’d look spectacular. Spektakulär!” Klaus confidently stated, true conviction to his words. It was almost alarming.
Series
- Part 64 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 10 of Even Numbers
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“It’s not me you need to say sorry to.” Ben muttered, clearly enjoying his ride on his high horse. Klaus rolled his eyes into the back of his head. “Yeah,” he snorted “like I’m really going to go over and be like oh hi, I fucked your-“ Diego slammed something down on his counter to shut Klaus up, making Ben flinch the same as he had when the knife skimmed past him. “Why are you flinching?!” Klaus yelled, wondering if Ben’s brain was dead along with the rest of him. Ben shrugged awkwardly, seeming rather embarrassed.
Series
- Part 61 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 11 of Even Numbers
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Summary
Skulking towards the noise, Diego found it was coming from the back of an electronics store. He groaned, every time he found one of these B&Es he braced himself to find Klaus. Surprisingly, that was yet to have happened - he hoped it stayed that way. When he heard a heated conversation with only one party, he practically growled with furious frustration. Diego took a peek, and then threw a knife around the corner - pinning his brother to the wall. He heard a girly shriek, which was hard not to chuckle at. Klaus couldn’t hear him laughing, he’d think it meant Diego’s approval. “You could’ve killed me, Diego!” Klaus yelled melodramatically as Diego approached.
Series
- Part 60 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 12 of Even Numbers
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Summary
Klaus rested his hand on the doorknob, trying to work himself up to open it. “Come on, you can do it.” Ben gently assured him from his side. Klaus shook his head frantically, he couldn’t do it. “No, I can’t go back there.” he whispered, hating himself for sounding so pathetic. Ben clicked his fingers so they could make eye contact, they’d finally stopped trying to tap each other on the shoulder. They still occasionally tried to whack each other when they were mad, though. “You’re not going back there.” Ben smiled kindly, he had a look of hope in his eyes. Klaus didn’t want to let him down, but he just couldn’t do it. “It’s just a closet.” he reassured Klaus calmly.
Series
- Part 59 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 13 of Even Numbers
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Summary
“Maybe we could go to the beach after?” Ben proposed airily, desperate to go before the weather changed its mind again. Klaus shot him a befuddled glare, near snarling in confusion.
Klaus peered down to his handcuffed hands behind his back, taking in the squad car they were currently sat in. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he hissed, trying to keep his voice down so the cops wouldn’t send him to a looney bin. “Don’t you think our schedule is kind of packed?” he sarcastically snipped.
Or - for reasons unknown to Klaus, it’s very important to Ben for them to visit the beach, so he bugs him for months.
Series
- Part 51 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 14 of Even Numbers
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Summary
Diego is in a state of disbelief as he hears of Luther’s mission to the moon. He realises that without Luther home, no one is stopping him from visiting his mom anymore. He accidentally on purpose tracks Klaus down so he can have someone to vent to about Luther. He (and Ben) come along to visit Grace, and have some long overdue bonding with their mom.
Series
- Part 47 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 15 of Even Numbers
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“Which brother... the asshole?!” Eudora whispered with great intrigue.
“They’re both assholes!” Diego shout-whispered, growing progressively panicked as Klaus grew closer. Eudora could not meet him. Diego winced and gently shoved Eudora into the store when Klaus was just getting close enough to notice his brother. “You can’t meet him!” he hissed to her, still wincing. She timidly peered back at Diego and mouthed a why?, leading Diego to make the universally understood crazy gesture.
Series
- Part 38 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 16 of Even Numbers
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Summary
Diego ambled over to shove the glass of water into his brother’s hands, but paused when he saw Klaus sat intensely staring at his own palms. “The fuck are you doing?” he grunted, concerned he was turning goddamn psychotic.
He’s an ouija board... he should look like one too, be able to be used as one. “I’m getting tattoos!” Klaus triumphantly exclaimed as he heaved himself up from the couch, determined to complete his quest right this second. His living brother had other ideas though, as he just harshly shoved him - causing him to slam back into the couch. Klaus pouted like a baby who just lost their pacifier.
Series
- Part 35 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 17 of Even Numbers
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Summary
“Do you remember...” Klaus wheezed “when we snuck out to see Scooby Doo as kids,” Diego glared at his brother, already knowing what he was going to tease him about “and you thought real dogs were like that?” Klaus giggled obnoxiously.
Diego swallowed his mouthful of scrambled eggs. He really should start buying actual groceries... “I knew they couldn’t talk, jackass.” He mumbled, not looking up at his brother’s stupid face. He could imagine how smug it would be. “I just thought they looked fun...”
Series
- Part 31 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 18 of Even Numbers
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Summary
On the anniversary of Ben’s death, Diego hunts down Klaus to make sure he’s safe. He always takes it the hardest.
Series
- Part 32 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 19 of Even Numbers
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Summary
Finding his door kicked in, or his window shimmied open wasn’t a strange occurrence for Diego. He lived in a shitty neighborhood, made enemies with scumbag criminals, and had a complete fucking idiot for a brother. Like usual, Diego discovered it was the latter option who broke in this time. He let out a groan as he opened his door fully and saw Klaus lounging casually on his couch. “What do you want?” he grumbled as he threw his keys at Klaus’ head.
Series
- Part 23 of PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters
- Part 20 of Even Numbers