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It would’ve been so great not to have been bought by dad, Diego thought. “Give me the knife.” he demanded, slowly edging closer to his brother. His idiot brother who was haphazardly throwing the blade from hand to hand, and inexplicably managing not to stab himself.
This was exhilarating, Klaus felt. It was impossible for him not to smugly smirk at his brother. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen Diego so on edge. “Relax, I’m not gonna slit my throat.” Klaus mimed doing so with the tip of the knife, pulling a deceased face he’d seen many, many times. Diego cringed viscerally seeing how close he had held the blade in his gesturing. “You’re such a fucking idiot.” his living brother groaned exhaustedly. It wasn’t even like Diego could wrestle the knife from Klaus’ hand, one of them would certainly end up dead. “Give me them back, then.” Klaus offered his truce, clumsily flipping the knife around like a cocktail mixer. He cut himself slightly, but hastily wiped the blood onto his pants.
His brother was going to get sepsis one day, Diego predicted, as he grimaced at Klaus’ piss poor attempt to stop himself from bleeding. “Fine.” Diego grunted frustratedly, pulling the confiscated drugs out from his pocket. “Give me the knife.” he instructed, holding his other hand out and cautiously sauntering towards his brother. He had no intention to give the bags back, Diego just planned on yanking the blade from his brother and throwing it into his bedroom. Klaus narrowed his eyes dubiously “I don’t trust you.” he hissed. Diego pursed his lips irritatedly, annoyed at himself for being so predictable. “Well I don’t trust you.” Diego bit back, worried his brother would keep the knife purely to mess with him.
Klaus berated himself for being so predictable. “Put them on the counter, and I’ll put it on the counter.” he offered persuasively. Diego neared the counter, still firmly untrusting. “If you don’t let go I’ll flush them.” his brother threatened through gritted teeth. Klaus nodded, wincing at the mere thought. He’d worked way too hard to get those, he couldn’t lose them. Klaus didn’t know what to threaten Diego with... his brother had a shit tonne of knives. The only reason he was bothered about this particular blade was because he was freaking out about Klaus getting hurt. A worry that Klaus didn’t share. “If you don’t put them down I’ll stab myself!” he blurted self-assuredly, grinning like a maniac. This would work. Diego tightly furrowed his brow in a mixture of confusion and concern.
Unfortunately, he knew his brother was that petty. And high. Diego intensely scowled to himself, wondering why he ever lets Klaus into his apartment. “I hate you.” Diego grunted, unenthusiastically shoving the bags down onto the counter. Klaus frantically looked from the drugs and to Diego again, clearly attempting to think. A task that was almost impossible for an imbecile with a fried brain. “Do you think I want you to stab yourself?!” Diego snapped, wondering how the hell they ended up in this bizarre scenario. He heard Klaus tapping his foot in contemplation. His brother eventually leaned over the counter and snatched the drugs back, reluctantly placing the blade down. Diego hastily lunged to grab his knife back, and flew it around the corner and directly into his bedroom wall.
“Pleasure doing business with you.” Klaus exclaimed chirpily, casually sauntering past Diego and heading to the couch. Diego gave him a dumbfounded stare, looking like his brain had short circuited. Ben was glaring at Klaus, also looking thoroughly bewildered. “You’re insane.” both brother’s declared. Klaus giggled, looking from one to the other. They’d never looked more like brothers... besides being different races and everything. “You guys are adorable!” Klaus clapped his hands giddily.
Diego shook his head to himself angrily, storming past Klaus and heading into his bathroom purely to get away from his brother. “You’re fucking batshit, I can’t deal with this, Jesus Christ...” he ranted under his breath as he slammed the door. Diego sat down irately on the edge of his bathtub. After a moment, he groaned exasperatedly, flinging the door back open and marching over to his brother. This was his apartment, Klaus should be the one in time out. He also couldn’t trust him alone out there. “Go to the bathroom!” he demanded, pointing to it scoldingly.
“I don’t need the bathroom?” Klaus replied, feeling wholly perplexed. Maybe Diego’s brain had literally short circuited. “You don’t have a room I can send you to.” Diego gruffly explained as he literally heaved Klaus up from the couch. “Are you fucking dad?!” Klaus yelped, allowing Diego to drag him into the bathroom because he was far too disorientated to try and jostle him. His brother shoved him to sit on the edge of the bath, and then stormed out. Klaus sat in a rare occasion of confused silence, trying to understand what the fuck was going on. Diego sauntered back in, shoving a cushion and a blanket into the tub. “That’s your fucking bed.” his living brother grouched with a reprimanding tone. Klaus glanced into the tub, still unable to splutter out any snappy comeback. “Okay?” he managed to mumble. Diego once again stormed out, fiercely slamming the door shut behind him; harshly enough to make the walls shake. Klaus instantly became panicked, already feeling his breathing growing shallow and fast. He became frozen in fear. Shitshitshitshitshit.
Diego clenched his jaw as he sauntered away, though he stopped dead in his tracks after a split second - quickly turning on his heel and making his way back to the bathroom. Realising what he’d done, Diego awkwardly pushed the door slightly open. “Sorry.” he mumbled gently, and then turned on his heel once again. He lingered nearby for a moment, until through the gap he heard his brother’s mild hyperventilating slowly come to a stop.
Slumping down onto his couch, Diego cracked every joint he possibly could. His brother was so goddamn draining. Klaus had only been here half an hour. Diego threw a quarter from his pocket to turn on the radio across the room. He didn’t want to hear Klaus inevitably snorting shit, and insufferably rambling to himself. Diego immediately threw another coin at the radio to change the station once he realised it was Destiny’s Child, not wanting to encourage Klaus’ hyperactivity. He heard Klaus loudly moan with disappointment from the bathroom. Diego shoved the heels of his palms into his eyes, thinking about how he could be minding his own business in Mexico right now - not having to deal with any Hargreeves family bullshit. “No Beyoncé in time out!” he sternly called to his brother, trying so goddamn hard not to burst out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness.