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Diego shook his head to himself, the nattering on the police radio was completely uninteresting. There was no way he’d be able to beat anyone or throw a knife or two, which was taking away the most entertaining parts of his vigilantism. Diego knew he probably shouldn’t get joy out of these things, but it wasn’t his fault. It was dad’s. He made him this way, Diego reassured himself. Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel along to the beat, Diego considered just driving home. This was a tedious night, even for him. The distinctive sound of glass breaking interrupted him just before he put his foot on the gas. This would do.
Skulking towards the noise, Diego found it was coming from the back of an electronics store. He groaned, every time he found one of these B&Es he braced himself to find Klaus. Surprisingly, that was yet to have happened - he hoped it stayed that way. When he heard a heated conversation with only one party, he practically growled with furious frustration. Diego took a peek, and then threw a knife around the corner - pinning his brother to the wall. He heard a girly shriek, which was hard not to chuckle at. Klaus couldn’t hear him laughing, he’d think it meant Diego’s approval. “You could’ve killed me, Diego!” Klaus yelled melodramatically as Diego approached. He rolled his eyes at Klaus, wondering how he could still not understand the nature of Diego’s power. “Nah, I can actually control my power.” he taunted as he yanked the knife from the wall. Klaus was half in the window, like a guillotine. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Diego grunted bluntly as he heaved his brother away from the window frame.
“How long have you got?” Klaus chuckled, even though he knew Diego would whack him. He whacked him on the side of the head. “Your masculinity is so toxic.” Klaus whined as Diego began to pull him from the alley. His brother deepened his scowl, refusing to dignify Klaus with an answer. Diego didn’t want to know what was wrong with Klaus, even Klaus pretended not to know. “I’d have a list the size of a CVS receipt!” Klaus exclaimed, gesturing an excessively long scroll of paper. Diego yanked his arm harder. “You’re not funny.” he grumbled, though Klaus could see the faintest hint of a suppressed smirk. Diego shoved him towards the car, unlocking the doors with one hand still holding Klaus’ arm. “I’m not gonna run away!” Klaus yelped defensively, outraged by the implication - even though he was fully intending on bolting in the other direction. Ben scoffed mockingly, brooding by Klaus’ side like a judgemental guardian angel. “You’re dead to me.” Klaus hissed to Ben, knowing that phrase irritated his brother.
If only, Diego thought. “Great.” he grunted in response, literally pushing his brother down into the seat. “I’m not doing your seatbelt for you, you’re not five.” he fumed, glaring daggers at the idiot. “No, I’m Four.” Klaus replied with a shit-eating grin. Diego really didn’t want his brother breaking his fucking windscreen if they got into an accident. He didn’t exactly want Klaus to be thrown from a windscreen either, but he was too pissed at his brother to mentally prioritise him. “What happened to me being dead to you?” Diego remarked curtly, fastening his brother’s seatbelt with more force than was strictly necessary. Klaus looked utterly puzzled, furrowing his brow stupidly. “Oh,” his eyes grew wide with recognition “not you.” Klaus stated as if Diego were the imbecile in this discussion. Diego didn’t want to know what that meant, he’d rather just pretend Klaus didn’t say that. He huffed and slammed the door closed, storming over to the driver’s side - already regretting not just letting his brother go.
—
Approaching his apartment, Diego forcefully dragged his brother’s coat off before unlocking the door. “I’m not even inside yet!” Klaus whined, petulantly rolling his eyes at Diego. “I know,” Diego mumbled as he turned the lock “it’s insurance.” he ominously explained. Diego hastily made his way through the door, slamming it in Klaus’ face before he could barge in. Immediately putting the lock back on, Diego threw the coat on the ground and began hiding his valuables. He didn’t have many, but he still didn’t want to lose any of them. Again. Klaus wouldn’t run off without his coat, Diego knew that was where he kept his drugs. He ignored his brother’s banging on the door, and bundled his sparse pawnable possessions into a pillow case, stuffing it as far under his bed as it would go.
—
“How don’t you have rickets... or scurvy or whatever, the one with the-“ Klaus bowed his legs clumsily, referring to the lack of food in Diego’s kitchen. Even drugdens had more snacks than this. “Can we get takeout?” Klaus pleaded, crossing his fingers with an obnoxious grin. Diego threw a dish cloth over his head, covering his face like a bride to be. Klaus promptly ripped it from his head, feeling stressed by the darkness it caused. “You can have ramen.” Diego grouchily replied as he grabbed a pack from his cabinet. “I don’t like ramen.” Klaus lied, purely because he wanted takeout. Diego’s silence implied he didn’t give a shit whether Klaus enjoyed the food. Prick. Klaus sauntered over to the cabinet under Diego’s kitchen sink - pinching his ”secret” vodka. Usually Klaus would sneakily drink from it, so that Diego wouldn’t change his hiding place. But he really needed a drink.
“How did you know that was there?!” Diego irately exclaimed, watching his brother chug his vodka like someone who just got done running a marathon with no water. The sight made Diego cringe, how many times had he helped himself to it?! Diego snatched the bottle from his brother’s grasp - feeling extremely tempted to smash it over his head. He didn’t want to waste his liquor, Klaus would probably just lick it as it dripped down his face anyway. As Diego screwed the cap on the bottle, he grimaced slightly at the thought of sharing a drink with his brother. He didn’t want hepatitis. “Here, keep it.” he huffed disgustedly, shoving it back into Klaus’ hand. His brother clearly missed the implication and interpreted it as an act of kindness. “See, this is why he’s my favorite.” Klaus giggled, causing Diego to look away from the saucepan to tightly furrow his brow. His brother was looking over to the corner of the room, so Diego followed his gaze - even though he knew nothing was there. It couldn’t be a ghost, but it still gave Diego the creeps. “You ever realised you can talk to yourself inside your own head?” Diego quipped, getting back to stirring the noodles.
Christ, not this one again, Klaus thought. “You ever realised you dress like one of the Village People?” he snipped pettily, pointing to his brother’s leather outfit. It was so gay looking, even for Klaus. Diego shot him a look of offended disbelief, looking Klaus’ own outfit up and down. “You’re the one wearing a goddamn Barbie shirt!” he groaned, shoving his hand in the direction of Klaus’ fabulous shirt. Even though it was made for teenage girls, Klaus pulled it off better than they could - he was certain of that. “Jealousy is a disease.” Klaus teased snootily as he made his way to plonk down onto Diego’s terribly uncomfortable couch.
“Jealous of your CVS receipt?” Diego goaded, pouring the ramen into a bowl. His brother’s inflated ego was both insufferable and hilarious at once. Diego wasn’t sure if it was an act to appear less miserable, or if he was genuinley that deluded and up his own ass. “You’re not eating it on the couch.” Diego demanded, shoving Klaus’ bowl down onto the table. He’d spilled shit way too many times, Diego knew he wasn’t going to get his goddamn deposit back because of Klaus. The knife holes in the walls had nothing to do with it. His brother rolled his eyes theatrically and heaved himself back up to sit at the table.
Ben pulled his hood up further, attempting to hide as much of his face as possible. He always felt so freaking jealous when his siblings would hang out. Even though Diego just forced Klaus here to prevent him robbing a place, it was still socialising. Ben couldn’t socialise with anyone. Even Klaus ignored him half the time. It was terribly infuriating for Ben that the others would likely believe he was a ghost if Klaus stopped being such a goddamn mess. “Can you ask him about Vanya?” Ben requested glumly, shoving his head down so Klaus couldn’t see his depressive facial expression. Klaus continued rambling to Diego about inane nonsense. “Please, I’m dead!” Ben begged, raising his voice. The dead card tended to work for smaller requests.
“How’s Vanya?” Klaus blurted so abruptly that Diego flinched slightly. “She’s...” Diego drawled, a twang of guilt hitting him. He made the effort to see Vanya, keeping in touch as much as either could bare - but he didn’t know all that much about her life. He wasn’t sure if he actually knew anything, besides that she plays the violin. He was such a shitty big brother. “...doing fine.” Diego mumbled, looking to the ground sheepishly. “Happy now?” Klaus muttered under his breath to nobody. Diego couldn’t help but frown every time his brother would talk to himself. He knew it wasn’t healthy in any instance, but he hoped Klaus was hallucinating random people - not Ben, like he used to claim was impossibly haunting him. The thought of having some fake Ben lingering around made Diego feel uneasy. “You tired?” Diego sleepily inquired, knowing he couldn’t go to bed until Klaus was asleep. He couldn’t be trusted awake and alone with Diego’s things.
Klaus was profoundly exhausted, but he wasn’t quite high enough to sleep. He couldn’t just go to sleep, he had to blackout. Knowing his nightmares would be there to greet him was too much of a deterrent for Klaus to cope with. “Mhm.” Klaus hummed, reaching into his pocket to frantically shovel pills into his mouth before Diego could knock them from his hand. His brother harshly kicked him in the shin from under the table. Diego’s glowering grew more intense when Klaus barely even reacted. Diego always hated that, which Klaus loved. It was like an UNO reverse. Klaus airily sighed as he stood up to sleep on the lumpy couch. “Please leave the light on.” he timidly murmured, feeling unbelievably pathetic. Diego nodded with a slight sympathetic smile.
“If I catch you trying to steal shit, I’m dragging your ass to rehab.” Diego threatened, pointing a scolding finger in his brother’s direction as he made his way across the room. Diego knew being sober was one of the only things Klaus was actually fearful of. Diego couldn’t just threaten to lock him in a dark room, though. “As if you have anything to steal.” Klaus scoffed obnoxiously. Diego grabbed a spare blanket from his room and threw it around the doorframe, aiming it to the floor - specifically so the asshole would have to get up to get it. “I thought you could control your power.” Klaus called from the lounge, thinking he’d caught Diego off guard. “Lie on your side.” Diego shouted as he closed his bedroom door, nervous of his brother choking to death during the night. Especially on Diego’s couch, that would just be the kind of dick move Klaus would pull. Diego grumpily shook his head to himself as he pushed his dresser up against the door. He wasn’t taking chances regarding the pillowcase under the bed. This routine was a mixture of babysitting and being a prison guard. Diego didn’t completely loathe it - at least he knew his brother wasn’t dead in some shithole.