Chapter Text
To say that Keith was tired would be the biggest understatement of the galaxy.
No, Keith was beyond exhausted. If there was a word that could express the sheer amount of exhaustion Keith felt, well, he wouldn't care because why would he?
To be honest, Keith was a tad bit annoyed at his new lifestyle that he didn't ask for. Yes, saving people and blowing things up were cool but he was beginning to feel out of place.
All he wanted was to find Shiro, not to become one of the universe's only hope to help take down the evil Galra Empire. Keith definitely didn't feel pressured that the lives of others were at his hands, nope.
He definitely did not sign up to have Zarkon breathing down his neck and attack every five ticks.
He groaned in his pillow as he could hear Lance's unbearably loud, high pitched girly screams of pain as he tried to hit on Allura, and got hit by Allura for the fifth time today in half a varga.
If there was anything Keith wanted to do, it was to get up and out of his heavenly paradise, (his bedroom) and to march down those stairs, and to bitch slap Lance into a black hole.
As heavenly as that lovely thought sounds, he couldn't bring his body to move, so Keith indured listening to those annoyingly high pitched screams while planning different ways to kill Lance.
Keith sighed in relief as the screams of agony died down, and it was surprisingly quiet. He smiled as he snuggled into the warm sheets, letting the blankets lull him into a deep sleep.
"Finally, some peace and quiet," he muttered into his pillow, voice heavy with sleep. Blade in his hands as his finger ran over the carving for comfort.
Keith should have known that the castle of lions doesn't stay quiet for long, and before he knew it, those cursed alarms were blaring and Keith wanted to crawl up a hole and die.
"Attention Paladins, the ship is under attack by Zarkon... Again." Keith could hear the tension in her voice as she tried to compose herself.
"Anyways please hurry, Voltron needs you!" The intercom went silent and before Keith forced himself to get up, he screamed into his pillow, cursing at Zarkon and his stupid fleets.
When they finally defeated the Galra fleets for the third time today, they had received a transmission from the Olkari to partake on a meeting discussing a possible alliance.
Now the Paladins have been through a lot lately, and the last thing they wanted was to sit at a boring meeting for lord knows how many vargas, but of course the older Alteans agreed and off they went.
"Keith, I know your tired and moody, but for the love of Altea, please stop this complaining at once. We need this alliance, the universe needs the alliance, so please be on your best behavior." Her tone on innocent ears sounded like a warning, but Keith knew it meant that she still didn't trust him.
It wasn't a secret that he was half Galra. When he told the team it hit them all hard, but it had hit Allura harder than anyone.
It had taken Shiro and Coran to stop Allura from kicking him off the team. Despite their best efforts, Allura had taken away his freedom. She refused to let Keith anywhere near the lions, and he couldn't really go around the castle by himself.
He understood that the Galra took everything from her, and he wouldn't fault her for hating him, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt.
The others gave him looks of pity, sometimes fear, but Allura faces looks of anger and he didn't want that.
He wouldn't admit it but he was scared of being alone again. Thankfully they all had came to their senses and treated Keith normally, and after having much difficulty convincing Allura, she slowly accepted him.
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Keith was beyond shocked, he couldn't believe his ears when Kolivan announced that he was Galran, well half Galran to be precise. "N-No, your lying. This isn't funny Kolivan." Keith's voice wavered slightly as he glanced up to look at Shiro, however he didn't want to gaze for too long for he was scared at the reaction Shiro would give him. As he gazed at Shiro, his face was a mixture of shock and sadness. He didn't even want to think about what exactly is going through his mind, he assumed it might have been flashbacks from his capture and just that thought made Keith's heart clench.
"It is the truth young one. Only those with Galra blood flowing in their veins can awaken the blade, which you have done. You came here seeking for knowledge and knowledge you've attained." As much as Keith wanted to argue, to deny the fact that he was half Galra, he simply couldn't.
He knew that deep down he was Galran, and he honestly should've come to that conclusion way earlier. He had suspicions every since the fight between him and Zarkon, where part of his hand seemed to be purple. He had blamed that as a trick of the light, something that couldn't be possible.
The mere thought of him having Galra blood in him just didn't quite sit snug with him. He gulped as he dared to take another look at Shiro, who was actually staring back at him. Keith waited for the hurtful words, for the rejection, but it never came. He closed his eyes as Shiro came closer and soon after, he was wrapped in a warm, passionate embrace.
Keith's eyes flew open, as he choked on his breath. Shiro was still with him, he didn't want to leave him! The pain in his chest had left him, and for the first time in years, he cried.
"S-Shiro? W-why?" Shiro didn't vocally respond to his question, more so he just hugged Keith tighter and he was very grateful for it. "Keith I know this may be hard for you, but I wanted to let you know that I don't think of you any different than I did before. Your still my Keith, half Galran or not."
"Thanks Shiro for everything." Keith smiled sadly as Shiro ruffled his hair with his prosthetic arm. "Ahem, as beautiful this is, we need to tell the others." Kolivan coughed as he waited awkwardly by the door. Keith's eyes widened, he totally forgot about the others for a moment. "Oh my quiznak, they're going to hate me and I'm going to lose the second closes thing to family I have, then I'll be ejected into spac-"
As if Shiro placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled. "Relax Keith, they're not going to eject you into space, plus I'm pretty sure that they'll take it well." Keith glared at Shiro and he reluctantly continued. "Allura on the other hand... Um also it's nice to know that you think of us as family, beside what could possible go wrong?"
They did not take the news well. Pidge had demanded to know where he brother and father was, which Keith could not reply as he didn't know either. Hunk was Hunk, and by that he just asked Keith a bunch of questions which he of course couldn't answer as well. Lance looked shocked, then he glared at him and told him to get away from Allura, brandishing his bayard as he tried to assure him that he wouldn't do anything. Allura... Her reaction was expected, but it had tore Keith up inside.
It took Shiro a whole lot of vargas to convince the team that Keith was still their Keith, and him having Galra blood didn't matter, but by the time he managed to convince the Paladins, (Allura was swayed by a tad bit) the damage was already done. Keith ran all the way to his room, shut the door, and basically cried his eyes out. He knew that he was going to get kicked off, he just knew. Curse Shiro and his motivational speeches. Shiro had glared at the group, before going after Keith, thinking of ways to repair what was damaged.
Keith had locked himself in his room, refusing to let anyone in, except Shiro and sometimes Coran, and Hunk because he couldn't stay made at him and Hunk delivered him food. One of the days of Keith solitary confinement, someone had knocked the door and him thinking it was Shiro, he opened it without hesitation, only it was actually Lance and Pidge. Keith sighed before letting them in, both Paladins not expecting this as their jaw dropped.
They both had apologized to Keith, and basically showered him with gifts. He of course accepted but he did still hurt a bit. Gradually over the time, the Paladins did everything in their power to make it up to Keith. It was a very long process as Keith let them all in one at a time, and it took a while to regain Keith's trusts but it all payed off in the end as they were now all currently laughing at Shiro and his absolute obsession with being a Paladin as they all played Monsters and Mana.
The group were not as close as they were before but it was getting there. Lance barely bothered Keith as much, and it surprised him when he was actually a lot closer to Lance than he ever was before. They would just talk about Earth and the garrison, and Lance would try to teach Kieth how to flirt, which would always fail miserably. He and Pidge did start to learn Altean together, after Pidge had admitted not wanting to learn alone, which he soon found out why as he and Pidge experienced learning without the safety mode. Turns out he enjoyed baking with Hunk as it helped ease his mind off of other troubling matters, like defeating Zarkon. Plus the face of pure joy was worth it as they all enjoyed the food. Shiro and Keith were practically inseparable at this point, the two of them never leaving each others side. Allura and Coran were a bit distant at first, but they did eventually learn to accept Keith for who he is and not what he is.
Kieth did still have fears about him being alone again, but the team were quick to assure him that they would never abandon him, even if he did fuck up big time, like betray Voltron and join Zarkon which would like never happen, but that would be very complicated but none the less.
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Keith just nodded, and returned to his station, for they had an alliance to make.
Alliance were often a very delicate matter, one wrong move and the whole thing can go up in flames. So here they sat as the leader went on and on about Voltron and it's pros and cons.
Keith was relieved when it was announced that the meeting was over, and that the negations and alliance was successful.
The team were ready to leave or so they wanted, the Olkari however had very different plans which involved in throwing a party to celebrate the new alliance.
Despite Allura and Shiro desperately telling them that this was not needed and necessary, they insisted, and so Keith had soon found himself wearing the Olkari wear, drowning out his teams complaints which were shut down with a glare from Allura.
So here he was leaning against a wall, watching the festivities. He spotted Pidge talking to one of the engineer, no doubt about the advance technology and their history with the Galra. Pidge smile as her eyes lit up as they talked about the green lion and its something with nature, warmed his heart.
Hunk speaking to one of the cooks, and he was soon barking orders, and handing out dishes left and right as he was surrounded by the olkarians, begging him to have more of his amazing delicacies. It had reminded Keith of the time when they were at the forsaken space mall, where they rode Kaltenecker.
Allura and some leaders were suggesting different types of diplomacy, as her tired smile encouraged more room for conversation. Shiro was dancing with the people, and he felt his heart tug as he spotted how carefree Shiro looked, as he was spinning one of the Olkari children to the beat. The music was beautiful and nothing Keith had ever heard before. It made him feel more relaxed, and he let his tense shoulders relax as he tried to take in the beautiful scenery.
His peace was soon ruined when he spotted Lance kissing some Olkari's wrist, and the girl giggle and flush a deep red, doing his usual flirting with every breathing thing on the planet, or he was but Keith couldn't spot him anymore. He figured that he must of ventured of somewhere deep in the crowd with the girl, not that he totally cared or anything.
He was removed from his thoughts when a certain voice was speaking to him.
"Are you from Tennessee, because yo-"
"I'm from Texas."
"Ur the only ten I see." Lance finished lamely as he looked at Keith with a shocked look on his face.
"What you asked." Keith shrugged, not having to look at Lance to know the horrified expression on his face. A big part of him felt glee knowing that he causes Lance to look like those pumpkins on Halloween, and a small smile emerged on his lips.
Lance sputtered for a moment before narrowing his eyes. "Oh it's you, must have mistaken you for a girl with your feminine figure, and plus that's not how it goes. I thought I taught you this in How to flirt the Lancey Lance way 101."
Keith face turned red as his jacket, which he sadly left on this ship slash castle thing. He just rolled his eyes and smirked as he watch Lance getting worked up for some small thing. 'Yea, and I wasn't paying attention."
"Wasn't pay attenti- No, no, no! I refuse to let you live like an e-boy for the rest of your life! You will know the ways of flirtation, now let's review my teachings young pupil." Lance pulled Keith close to his chest, and grabbed his face towards him so that their foreheads were touching. "If I say something like," Lance proceeded to whisper in Keith's ear in a low deeper voice that Keith didn't know was possible. "Hey baby, I thought happiness starts with H but mines start with U."
Kieth ignored Lance's breath practically molesting his ear, the red on his face showing at full force as he responded. "Technically that is literally incorrect, Happiness does indeed start with H not a U, this is why I worry about you thinking because it seems to me that you cannot spell." Lance groaned and pulled away from Keith as he slapped his head. "So when are you starting the flirting review?" Lance sputtered before looking at Keith with disbelief.
"That was literally part of it, but of course you had to ruin it." Keith didn't understand how he ruined anything, he just thought that it was common knowledge that Happiness started with a H. "Fine let me try," and as soon as those words left his mouth, Lance started laughing. "You, Keith doesn't know what flirting means Kogane wants to attempt to flirt with me." Lance just fell, holding his stomach as Keith didn't really see what would cause Lance to laugh like his life depended on it. So he grabbed Lance and proceeded to slam him against the wall.
He looked at Lance, who had a surprised look on his face before wiping it off and smirking. "Not bad Kogane but is that all you got?" Keith simply raised and eyebrow before whipping out his blade, and caressing Lance's face with it. He leaned in close enough, that their lips were about to touch. He took in the panicked look on Lance's face and he began. "You know my blade isn't the only thing that penetrates."
He then took away his blade, and proceeded to walk away hearing Lance scream, "KEITH YOU CAN'T JUST WALK AWAY AFTER SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT!"
Lance caught up to him, and they both just laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of what just happened. They both sat down in the grass, watching the others peacefully in comfortable silence, before Lance had asked him a question.
"Hey why aren't you with the others?"
It was an innocent question but it hit Keith deeper than he anticipated. Seeing the others having fun and rest made Keith happy it really did, but why wasn't he happy?
Instead of replying to Lance he shrugged. He was part of the team so why doesn't he feel like it. Was it because he was half Galra?
"Seriously man, this planet has some bomb food and some sexy ladies." Lance nudged his arm against Keith who just scowled and rolled his eyes. "I'm tired," but even in his ears the excuse did not seem believable. Lance sighed as he looked at Keith full of concern. "Hey if you don't want to talk about it that's fine, but you better not be doubting yourself again just because your Galra." Keith's silence and stiffness was all it took to confirm that he had been right, so Lance just pulled Keith close to his chest and ran his fingers through his hair.
"You know we are never going to abandon you Keith, your to precious to us to do that. Yes it may seem that way sometimes but that's never going to happen. Plus you're one of the bravest people I've ever met Keith, and I admire you for your talents and strengths, that's why I envy you Keith. Your someone who never backs down no matter how hard the challenge, someone who people look up to but me, I'm just Lance.
Keith definitely wasn't like that, he really wasn't all that Lance made him out to be. "Lance don't give me all the credit, you're a kind person who looks after others at all times. Your the joy of the group Lance and I really can't imagine you not with us, I wouldn't trade anything we've experienced for the world." As Keith sat up, he and Lance looked into each others eyes as if to see if the other were sincere. Lance smiled and looked down and mumbled a small, "thanks," and Keith's heart felt whole. The others had found the pair against a tree, fast asleep in each others arms. They may or may not have taken pictures to use a blackmail.
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From the hell that Zarkon gave them, it was truly exhilarating knowing that they could all be in peace. What day your speaking about? Of course I'm talking about that day, the day that they all defeated Zarkon using Voltron. The team was ecstatic of course, shouting out the Voltron chant that Lance made over and over again,( Keith tried, he still didn't get the hang of it yet). That joyfulness was soon demolished as it was discovered that Shiro went missing.
The team after Shiro's disappearance was in shambles. Shiro being gone had affected all of them greatly, but even an infant could tell that Keith was affected the most out of all of them. It was as if his disappearance had reverted him back to the cold, silent Keith from when they first met.
He refused to talk to the others, only when he absolutely had to. He wouldn't attend the team bonding sessions, and refused to eat with them, despite Hunk's constant urging. He would just lock himself up in his room and if he wasn't doing that, he was training.
He had interrupted the very important meeting with the other leaders in the galaxy in search for an alliance to help rebel against the Galra. He couldn't help himself, the endless questions of when they could form Voltron when they damn well couldn't were pissing him off.
He was hurting, and the team could see that, but they were hurting even more after seeing Keith act this way. It was tearing the team apart. It was as if they had lost not only one Paladin, but two.
It made sense that Keith would hurt more since he was like best friends, a mentor. No. He was a brother to him, he was the father figure he barely had, and yet Keith was left alone. Again. Keith felt as if Shiro's disappearance were his fault, like he could have prevented it but didn't.
Shiro was gone.
Keith felt useless. His constant searching went from a couple of Vargas to Quintants to Phoebs. The lack of sleep evident all over his face and it worried them deeply.
However he wasn't about to give up on Shiro when he didn't give up on him, so when the others suggested to find a new black Paladin, a new leader, he couldn't help it and he shut that conversation down very quickly.
"No," his voice shook with raw emotion. He was not going to give up on Shiro, and he definitely was not going to help replace him.
So why was he standing with the others in front of the Black Lion to search for a chance at leadership.
He watched as Allura climbed into the Black Lion's mouth, split in between hoping that she awakes the lion and that she doesn't.
Time passed by, and soon it was Pidge, then hunk, then Lance. They all failed to awaken the lion and Keith wasn't about to try to awaken the lion as well. He couldn't do that to Shiro.
It wasn't really a surprise when Allura tried to sway him to try. He was just about to refuse when he remembered. "If anything happens to me, I want you to pilot the black lion." He truly didn't want to even think about that, it seemed stupid to think that the Paladins would have a happy ending.
So he mustered up the courage to walk up those ramps, and so he entered.
When he did enter Black, he almost smiled at the familiar equipment, screens and tech, almost.
"I know you wanted this for me Shiro... But I'm not you." Keith closed his eyes as he let the flashbacks of their fight against Voltron haunt him. The day where even though Zarkon was defeated, Shiro was gone.
"I can't lead them like you." Those words were more for himself. He didn't want this leadership, or this power. He knows his strengths, but he also knows his weaknesses, and leadership was one of them. Like the others said, he was the lone wolf who was definitely not meant to lead.
Shiro was a far better pilot than he'll ever be, and the mere thought of replacing Shiro hurt, yet deep down, he knew that this was what he wanted, for him to lead, for him to be the next Black Paladin.
He didn't expect to feel the comforting purr oh the Black Lion Echo through his mind as it awaken and accepted him as her new Paladin.
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No.
He didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to expect the purrs in the back of his mind. He didn't want this, he just wanted Shiro back.
"Please, no." Keith begged, eyes wide as he stared at the controls, refusing to accept the reality.
As he left, and stared at the others, a huge sense a dread filled him. His thoughts were clouded with him being a failure to Shiro, and a horrible choice as a leader. Why me, why not Lance or Hunk or Pidge and definitely Allura. Why did she choose me?
He drowned out his teams congrats, he couldn't and wouldn't pilot Shiro's lion.
"No... I don't accept this." He could feel their jaws open with shock, could feel their shocked gaze.
"Well, you must. The Black Lion has chosen you." He mentally scoffed at Allura's words.
"I can't replace Shiro. You guys were right, I'm the loner, I'm not the leader Shiro thought I wa-" he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
As he looked up, he was surprised to see that it was Lance who put his hand on his shoulder. His eyes held trust and uncertainty as he gazed at them.
"Keith, no one can replace Shiro, but the Black Lion wouldn't choose anybody it didn't feel was worthy to lead Voltron, and I respect its choice. You should too."
Keith was surprised as he definitely did not expect that from Lance of all people, but the more he looked into his eyes, the more he could feel that Lance was sincere and he couldn't handle looking at those trust filled eyes. So he looked away. He cautiously looked at Allura who smiled and nodded.
He considered Lance's word and before he knew it he was piloting the Black Lion and was leading Voltron.
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Lotor was a big pain in the ass, and Keith found that out very quickly as he maneuvered his lion to avoid Lotor's shots.
He narrowed his eyes as he saw his team getting hit. He was frustrated, he felt as if the asshole was toying with them and he was more than ready to prove him wrong.
"Form Voltron!" He yelled, but as they flew in formation, he didn't feel the familiar tug in his body and he scowled. As he saw Lotor getting away, he only saw his chance at getting revenge for Shiro flying away, and he'll be damned if he let that bastard get away.
He was so focused on catching Lotor that he didn't realize that they were now in some planet that messed up with his Lion's abilities and communication system.
"Guys my lion isn't functioning properly."
"Guys slow down, your going too fast."
"Guys HELP."
"Keith stop, we have to get Allura and Hunk."
"Keith we should fall back. This seems like a trap."
"Guys our communication is cutting off! I can't hear Coran!"
"Keith."
"Keith."
"KEITH!"
"SHUT UP!" He couldn't take them anymore, didn't they understand how this was their only chance at catching Lotor.
"You wanted me to be leader, and this is how I lead." He growled at the communication device. He realized that he was being a bit cruel to but he shrugged it off. There were more important matters at hand like catching Lotor, he'll just apologize later.
"Some leader you are," Lance mumbled under his breath and even though he did, Keith still heard it. His breath hitched and his voice got caught in his throat.
Of course Lance had to make some comment about him being a shitty leader and that stung. He already knew he sucked, he already knew this so why did Lance's comment hurt so much.
He thought he was used to Lance making annoying and rude comments, back he's even heard worse before, so why did his heart clench at those words. Why did he feel like crying?
In his daze he saw a flash of red cover his screen and Lance groan. As he snapped out of it he could clearly see red slam into a big wall of rock, and he watched in shock as it crumbled to the floor. "LANCE!" He yelled and it was then the horrible noise of silence filled the communications. It was only then he realized the predicament they were in.
Allura and Hunk were no where to be found.
Pidge's lion was just shot and he watched it crumble and fall deeper in the stormy planet. Her screams echoing in his mind.
"LANCE? PIDGE? HUNK? PRINCESS?" He screamed but he was only met with silence.
"No no no, this was NOT how this was supposed to go." Keith gripped his hair in anguish, after all this was all his fault. If only he was paying attention, if only he was a better Paladin, if only he was a better leader.
He could feel wet substances drip drown his cheeks. He was crying and the sheer realization had him sobbing as he floated in the darkness.
They were all gone, just like Shiro, and it was all his fault.
As the tears clouded his vision, he wiped them away in vain as it grew harder to breathe.
It got to the point where he just let the lion drift in the abyss and he immediately sank in his chair, brought his knees to his chest, and the dam he struggled to hold, burst and he cried.
He let out all the pain he kept inside for years erupt out of him, and once he started he couldn't get himself to stop.
Lance was right.
For once in his life he actually agreed with Lance. He let out a small whimper as he could faintly hear Black purr, an attempt to console him which he desperately needed right now.
"What is it Black? Gonna tell me how I basically ruined the only chance at saving the world because of my selfish desires."
He could feel Black disagree and he let out a pitiful sob like laugh. He saw Lotor's ship getting closer and closer to him. He braced himself for impact, wishing that he could redo things, and soon he found himself drifting into the unconscious abyss of darkness.