Chapter Text
When Baam woke up, the pain in his chest made him curse, when looking, his wounds were bandaged.
"This…"
"They were unpleasant to look at, they gave me nausea and I covered this”
Baam looked in surprise at the young woman with ash-blond hair who was sitting a few steps away from him. Was he dreaming?
“¿Rachel?”
The pain in his chest made him regain some of his reason. He had vague memories of a confrontation. A third person that appeared out of nowhere attacking from behind. His chest pierced by a huge spear. Voices calling out his name as he fell into the void, the landscape getting darker and darker.
He had a vague feeling that something covered him up in the fall, but it was probably just part of the confusion of the moment.
He scanned the place, but there was nothing about it that looked familiar. I conclude that they were trapped in a strange place.
"Where we are?"
The young woman did not reply.
“Rachel”
She refused to observe him.
He sighed in annoyance.
Rachel wouldn't answer.
Baam decided to get up and find a way out. The wound on his chest burned with the movement. Being alive after that injury was a true miracle. His body recovered more slowly than usual. With slow steps he began to wander with difficulty, the floor of the place was covered by several centimeters of water and there was only debris from the walls scattered, the supposed sky was only a completely white shell.
He tried to use shinsu to get to the top, it was then that he realized something else, the current of shinsu in that place was too weak, he could barely move a few drops of water. Any regular could face death if he entered that place without shinsu. They came from outside, they were irregular, her body would be fine even without shinsu. Still, it was a strange sensation not to feel the shinsu currents flowing inside his, he couldn't even feel the thorns on her back well.
wandered and wandered, but in the end, it ended at the same starting point. The horizon seemed far away, but the more I tried to get there, I always ended up in the same place.
Rachel was sitting on a pile of rubble throwing small stones that sank into the water.
"This is your fault, isn't it, Rachel?"
She threw another stone.
"You went back to playing dirty"
Another stone.
"You should at least say something"
She kept playing with the stones.
Her indifference bothered him. This time Bam threw a stone very close to her.
She glared at him.
"Why would it be my fault? I'm trapped here too, you know?"
She turned her back on him in fury and resumed her stone-throwing.
Baam continued to watch her warily.
Rachel was always like this. She avoided questions and answered only on her own terms. When it came to both, she always said things by halves or just didn't. It was like being in an absurd game of cat and mouse. A game in which she always brought out her worst side and that bothered him… too much.
"Stop looking at me, Baam! What do you want me to say? [Sorry for betraying you, I didn't mean to, let's get out of here and live together]. How stupid” Rachel scoffed.
Another stone was thrown, this time it made a bigger splash.
Baam's eyes had hardened.
"What the hell-?! Bam! "
Rachel covered herself when small rocks began to hit her.
"Baam, rot you!"
She took a stone and threw it at him, he responded with another.
First stones were thrown, then they were insults, some sounded childish, others not so much. They insulted their appearance, their faces at their friends and colleagues, their abilities, their actions. Several of those insults seemed to contain part of their hidden thoughts, those painful things that deep down they both feared were true, a fear they were afraid to put into words.
After the incident with Khun Agüero Agnis, their relationship seemed to have undergone a drastic change. Every little encounter they'd had only seemed to reaffirm that fact. Baam was no longer the same boy that she could hurt emotionally with her actions. Protecting her friends and opening a path for them had become an obsession and given him truly overwhelming power.
Rachel had found new tools to accomplish her goals, but realized they weren't enough yet. Weakness, frustration, anger, jealousy, envy, and rage twisted inside her every time she encountered Baam and this fact were reaffirmed. Still, she hadn't stopped and kept moving forward. However ... her plans had collapsed due to the appearance of that subject ... Being trapped with Baam was a horrible joke of that unjust God who seemed to hate her, the same one who sought to tie her to a horrible destiny, blessed Baam without any qualms. I hated it.
“You are nothing but a vile thief who stole what was supposed to be mine! Damn monster, stop devouring what's mine! "
There was a pain in Rachel's words. There was a pain in Baam's gaze.
"If I'm a monster, what are you, Rachel?!"
Baam threw another rock harder, hitting Rachel's forehead and bleeding a little.
“You are nothing but a mean and cruel woman! You like to use people and then throw them away when they no longer serve you! "
"You know nothing!"
"Of course I know it! I know it better than anyone! "
They were both breathing tired. Their throats ached from the screams.
Baam cursed himself for forgetting his injuries. These were beginning to open up again.
“Why do I have to be trapped in this place with you? It's not fair!"
Rachel jumped from the rubble, stumbling a few steps to keep from falling. Her face wrinkled as if there was a pain in her movements.
"You don't know anything, nothing ... I'm getting out of here!"
Before Rachel could take the third step, Baam took her hand and tossed it to the side, her body falling hard. Rachel coughed up some of the water that went into her mouth.
"What am I not supposed know, Rachel?"
She turned to see him annoyed, Baam was looking at her coldly. The anger seemed to be stronger than her own pain.
"Do you really think you know everything?"
"Of course I do, Arlene-!"
Rachel complained when Baam's hand gripped her neck. Fear invaded her body, was Baam trying…?
“Yes, Arlene, my mother, she told you everything. Your dear Arlene "
Baam seemed calm despite the fact that Rachel squirmed in his grip. He wasn't even using his full strength. When Baam pressed a little harder, Rachel tore with his nails his arm trying to escape.
"You even said [goodbye] just for her, you held onto the stars for her."
Her eyes and her words were cold.
"I'll be honest with you, Rachel."
Baam brought his face closer to just inches from hers.
"Rachel, all this time, I've always hated you."
The young woman's body froze for an instant.
"What's up Rachel, are you surprised? You said that you knew everything about me "
"Of course not, I always knew, you were just like the rest"
The words seemed to come out with difficulty.
"Did you know? So ... why are your hands shaking? "
Immediately, she tried to look away, but Baam forced her to keep looking.
“How well do you think you know me? You do not know anything about me"
she glared at him
“But I know you very well, Rachel. Now more than ever"
Rachel's lip trembled.
“You don't believe or trust anyone. You are smart, but you like to look down on others, even though you actually feel inferior to them. You want to stand out and become a heroine, but deep down you are afraid of everything, that's why you crawl into the shadows”
She squirmed so she could cover her ears, but he stopped her. She went from pinning her neck to holding her wrists against the ground.
“you prefer to hurt than get hurt. Nobody cares about you, because you don't really care about anyone. You are unable to think of others. So you think you are right when you betray others.
"Shut up! Shut up! You do not know anything about me! Shut up!"
“You are just an egotist who plays with others. And yet… you are so ridiculously proud, that you prefer to disappear before others know who you really are. You are a coward who hates herself so much that she would rather be hated than face her problems "
Baam had carefully released her wrists, now he was free, but he didn't feel that way. Rachel cursed Baam inside her, she hated him with all her might, now more than ever.
The sound of small cracks forming could be heard in the back of his ears.
“That's why always, when we were in the cave, when you played with me, when you read me stories, when you talked about the stars, when we entered the tower, the times I chased you, the times you betrayed me, the times you hurt my friends… All this time… I've always hated that part of you!"
The sound of something breaking echoed in his ears. She must be imagining it, she thought.
"What? What's up, Rachel? Why are you crying?"
Rachel's face was warped between pain and anger, her lips were trembling, little moans were coming out of them, the tears were slipping away making her look even dirtier.
Baam remained with the same expression.
"Does being hated by me make you feel sad?"
"N-No... I don't..."
"You are supposed to know everything about me"
“I… I… Of course I know, because I hate you too! Just let me go! Get lost! It disappears! "
Crying mixed unpleasantly with her voice.
"Rachel..."
She hit his chest through tears. He endured the pain of the wound. They moved between the blows, the pain, and the crying until they were sitting on their knees.
“Long ago, when we were still in the cave and I was waiting impatiently for your return… Once, I threw a tantrum because I didn't want you to leave, you were patient for a while, but then you got tired… we ended up fighting, remember?"
Baam could hear the nasal sobs of Rachel, she kept hitting with what little strength she had left.
Her wounds had reopened, blood-stained Rachel's trembling hands, but somehow, it didn't hurt as much as before.
“In the heat of the moment, I told you that I hated you and never wanted to see you again. You said you would not return, so I immediately regretted it and held on to you so that you will forgive me, you were so upset, but you did, you forgave me and you hugged me "
With a slow movement, Baam wrapped his arms around Rachel's small body. She kept squirming through the crying that she desperately fought to control.
“Just like that, even though you were upset that time… I was crying and you were scolding me for it, even so, when I saw you, it seemed as if you were going to break down and cry at any moment… deep down, I was happy about it..."
He released the hug so he could take her face stained with tears and some blood, he cleaned it carefully.
Rachel jerked her hand away.
He did it again with her other hand.
"I was happy because Rachel ... the star that illuminated my world of darkness, was showing that she cared... my dear Rachel loved me too, is all I could think about ..."
She bit her lower lip as if that could soothe her crying.
"Deep down, we are still the same children who played together in the dark..."
She pulled her hand away, refusing to fall out. However, Baam took her hand, calmly and firmly at the same time. Carefully, he brought his face and placed a long, soft kiss on that shaky little hand, somewhat dirty and rough.
"I love you, Rachel, I'll always love you, for all eternity..."
Rachel's eyes had widened in surprise and she was shaking in confusion.
"Even if you don't, between the pain and the hate that I keep for you ... I will continue to love you"
Rachel shuddered at that deep amber gaze. A wave of emotions was hitting inside her and she didn't know how to control it, much less stop it.
"Y-You ... You have gone crazy"
She could barely find her voice.
Baam smiled sweetly.
Recovering some reason, Rachel jerked away.
“You said you hated me and then you say this! You became insane!"
He laughed in a mixture of softness and mystery.
She backed off awkwardly, he followed.
"Yes, it's true, I went crazy, Rachel, it was a long time ago and it's your fault, you were the one who made me like this"
Rachel's body twitched as she was trapped between a nearby wall of rubble. Baam's arms rested on either side of her body, there was nowhere to run.
"So now you must take responsibility, whether you want to or not."
"You're a-!"
He did not let her continue.
Baam captured her lips together hard. Rachel squirmed in surprise, tried to push him, but couldn't move him an inch. He applied more pressure and forced her lips to part. Rachel moaned in shock when he invaded her mouth. It was obvious that neither Baam nor she knew what kissing was, this was more of a meaningless pressure fight for her, however, her body trembled when Baam wrapped her in his arms again, one of his hands held her head tightly. It didn't matter how much he squirmed, he wouldn't give in at all.
Who the heck was this Bam? Rachel didn't recognize him. It wasn't the helpless little Baam who was blindly dependent on her in the cave. It wasn't the Baam who followed her to the tower because she feared losing her only light in the world. It wasn't the sad Baam who found out that his star was not a good person. It wasn't the Baam who had challenged him after having touched one of his most precious friends.
The Baam she knew wasn't even interested in romance, he just thought about making good friends and taking care of them. Why was he doing this?
This Baam… it was not the Baam she knew, it was someone with an overwhelmingly strong aura, someone who did not bow to anyone, not even to her. He was someone who demanded what he wanted without caring about anything, someone with too clear a goal and vision. Was a…
A tear slipped down one of her sides. I hated it. She hated this Baam more than any other. He hated that he was so strong and dazzling, hated that her eyes didn't tremble at all when they looked at her, a Baam who didn't seem to feel any kind of harm from her. It was a Bam that made her feel even smaller than she did with all the others.
His kisses were rough and awkward, his teeth had collided several times from their inexperience. He released their lips as soon as they were joined again, Rachel was barely managing to breathe, she felt dizzy, the strength had left her. It was all so confusing, she desperately wanted it to stop, but felt that if she did she would fall unconscious to the ground. She hated that feeling of helplessness. She hated that Baam made her feel that way. But what she hated the most… was that damn body of hers that seemed to be trying to keep up with Baam.
When the lack of oxygen was too great to ignore, Baam finally broke away from her. The distance between the two was still close. Rachel could feel her breath hitting her mouth. They were both breathing heavily.
"I can't forgive what you've done so far, Rachel."
Rachel wanted to protest, but he kissed her again, this time slower and deeper.
“You have committed crimes and you have hurt many people. What you have done with my friends, what you did with you and me is… unacceptable"
Rachel trembled at that deep amber gaze.
"If I asked you to come back-"
"I will not do it! I'm not going back! "
"I know"
Rachel complained when their lips met, now for a short time.
“Even if I beg you to come back, you never would. And no matter what I do, there is no way we can be together, right? "
Rachel moaned in surprise when Bam brushed his lips against her neck.
"That is why I have made a decision"
She let out a small cry when he gently bit the base of her neck.
"I'm going to kill you, Rachel."
Her body froze. The blood had drained from her face.
"What…?"
“It won't be now, when we get out of here, I know that you will go back to chasing that absurd dream of seeing the stars inspired by Arlene. You will hurt others again, you will not stop until the end. You once said that if I was going to stop you, I would have to kill you, so I will"
Tears of anger and frustration welled up in Rachel's eyes. She strongly refused to release them. Baam's face was still buried between her neck.
"When the time comes, when there is no trace of the Rachel that I love, then I will ... It has to be me, no one but me can take your life, do you understand me, Rachel? Just me"
Tears stained Rachel's face again.
"You think I'm going to sit and wait for you to do it?"
"No, I know you won't"
"I won't die until I see the stars and fulfill Arlene's dream"
"I don't care what Arlene means to you... Or the stars you're looking for"
"I will not give you my life"
“You will, the end of your life is mine Rachel, it's the least you can give me after all this, even if you don't want to, I'm going to take it. It is my right, only mine "
She moaned in pain.
"I hate you…"
Baam smiled against his neck, before again gently kissing him.
"I know, and I hate that part of you... as much as I love it"
“I won't let you beat me, Baam, that place at the top will be mine, mine alone. I have worked hard to obtain it, neither you nor anyone will take it away from me"
Their lips came together again between his words.
"It's a place cursed by Arlene and you know it."
"It's mine, you won't get it, you won't take it from me too"
"I don't expect someone other than you to want it, even so, I'm not going to give it up, I'll get there before you do"
"Baam, if you try to take my life, I'll take yours."
"Do you think you can do it?"
"I will, I was your world, your life is mine"
Baam smiled against her lips.
"That sounds arrogant. Well. I'll watch my back until then"
****
The white ceiling was beginning to crack. The flow of Shinsu was slowly spreading through the place, Baam could feel it, in the distance he could hear the voices of his friends. He could see a small ship peering over one edge.
"Ra-"
The young woman was sitting on a stingray that levitated in the air, several meters above him. She was watching him with her usual coldness.
The look of both was full of different emotions that crossed each other, they were silent feelings that could not be expressed in words, not between them. The bitter taste in their mouths seemed to guide her words in unison.
"Don't forget, your life belongs to me, Baam/Rachel"
By the time the little ship got to where Bam was, Rachel was no longer close. His friends had cried out worried about his injuries. He smiled to calm them down. From the corner of his eye, he could see a couple of blue stars in the distance, Rachel was already outside that place.
It was a sad sight ... but hopeful in some way, at least it was for him.
The next time they met, they would face each other again.
Baam would wait patiently for that day.
.
.
.