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If He Xuan ever ascended he would surely become the God of Surprises, Xie Lian thought, dazedly staring at the Devastation kneeling before him. He himself surely would have never thought that his day would end up like this! They had thought Black Water Sinking Ships still hibernating deep in his ocean somewhere, exhausted and drained by decades of camouflaging as the Earthmaster and luring Shi Wudu deeper and deeper into a snare of his own making, his domain having been tightly sealed and unbreachable ever since the trap finally snapped closed, leaving only death and tragedy behind. Not even everything that went down afterwards with Jun Wu and the destruction of Heaven had been enough to rouse him and Hua Cheng had been sure it would be at least a few more years until Black Water would show his face again.
And yet here he was, still staring at Xie Lian with these unblinking golden eyes, a petitioner waiting for a judgement Xie Lian was wholly unprepared to give.
The only thing he had planned on doing while his San Lang was out taking care of some kind of business had been to get cozy in Qiadeng Temple, do some reading and maybe check up on Puji Shrine later since he hadn´t been there for a few days.
(“Dreadfully boring business I assure you, gege. Leave this to your San Lang and rest, you´ve been meaning to read through these old cultivation scrolls I found for you for days now, I won´t be away too long.”)
He had dragged some pillows and snacks out into the garden adjoining his temple earlier, enjoying the quiet bird song –bird song that you could only hear but never saw a bird to match, magic woven in the equally magical flora surrounding him, as neither trees nor birds would survive long in the ghost realm...at least not without usually frankly disturbing results- and lazily leafing through the old scrolls his San Lang had gifted to him, one of the many gifts his husband tended to deliver to him nearly every day.
(“San Lang, as much as I appreciate you going through the effort of finding things for me, this really isn´t necessary. I have everything I need right here.” His gentle kiss had been returned, then deepened in a way that never failed to make Xie Lian´s stomach tumble, as if he had swallowed a few handfuls of his San Lang´s butterflies before his Devastation cuddled even closer, his one good eye sparkling with faked innoccence while his mouth was doing the pouty thing that, to Xie Lian´s great horror, always managed to make him sigh and give in to whatever whim his husband had come up with now. “But gege, they make you happy, and when you are happy, I am happy. You want your San Lang to be happy right?” Yes, of course he wanted that, more than anything else in this world and the next, and realizing that this was an arguement he couldn´t win Xie Lian sighed and –softly- pulled at a few strands of unruly black hair that had escaped Hua Cheng´s braid. “...only small things San Lang. And no gold or jewels or any of this, I really don´t need anymore ornaments, I´d rather have some nice fruit. A peach maybe, they should be in season soon.” " A peach it is then gege..".)
And yet, here Xie Lian was, staring uncomprehending at the small, perfectly tear shaped black pearl He Xuan has deposited in his hand with all the care of somebody handling something caustic and volatile. A small black pearl that looked just as ordinary as the equally small, crystal clear ring hanging on a thin silver chain around Xie Lian´s neck. And that, just as the ring, was anything but.
Neither he nor He Xuan have moved, the Devastation´s deadly cold, thin fingers still holding Xie Lian´s hand with the utmost care, feeling like ice againts his warm skin, small droplets of water clinging to He Xuan´s lashes and his wet robes slowly starting to soak the pillows around them.
"I wonder if touching me burns him, he is so cold.."
Xie Lian should say something, -do- something, accept, decline, ask him -why-, he had never gotten any kind of indication that He Xuan might think of him as anything more then a complicated but ultimately insignificant attechment to Crimson Rain Sought Flower, he had treated him with polite disinterest while he was still posing as the Earthmaster and more or less ignored him after he had shown his true face...and yet here he was, unspeaking and unblinking, pressing what little remained of his life into Xie Lian´s gently shaking hand. And yes, Xie Lian didn´t have the best of track records when it came to understand the ways others showed affection to him but still, nothing could have prepared him for this.
"He must have waited for San Lang to leave, this is the first time in weeks he isn´t anywhere close by, did he wait in the lake this whole time? Or is there a clone of his somewhere in the Manor, or maybe one of the fish in the pond here?"
But before Xie Lian´s poor, dazzled brain can come up with more new mysteries and no solutions He Xuan must have finally run out of patience, waiting for him.
Every movement careful, gentle and slow, like you would do while handling a small, frightened animal you didn´t want to spook his other hand reaches over, carefully and deliberately closing Xie Lian´s fingers around the pearl in his hand. Xie Lian blinks once, mouth opening to, well probably protest, he honestly doens´t know, but he freezes again when He Xuan pulls his closed hand to his lips, slowly kissing each of the scarred knuckles with soft, icy lips, precise and feather light before turning Xie Lian´s hand slightly, placing a last gentle kiss on the inside of Xie Lian´s wrist, right over his pulse.
He is so careful during all of this, so cautious that Xie Lian can feel something in his chest constrict painfully, something that, despite all the love and attention his San Lang showers him with every day, still remembers what it felt like to be lonely, completely alone and abandoned by everyone they have ever loved. He Xuan´s eyes and face betray nothing, but his hands do,trembling with more then just the perpetual cold haunting him against Xie Lian´s closed fist. He looks lost like this, pale as bone, his wet clothes sticking to his hungry frame like a second skin, black hair unbound and clinging in wet strands to his face and neck, making the hurt in Xie Lian´s chest grow stronger until he can feel the first tear spilling over, tickling as it slides down his cheek.
He Xuan is surrendering, this much is clear, his strength finally run out, his need for revenge that kept him going through centuries and centuries of deceit and loneliness finally gone and even though he never utters a word Xie Lian can feel the desperation clinging to him. This is a final, dangerous request for something that is more then just endless abyssmal depth and painful memories. And a dangerous request it is indeed. He must have been sure enough that Xie Lian would, at worst, gently reject him to even try but the true danger lies in his acceptance. There is Crimson Rain Sought Flower´s reaction to attest for after all and as protective and possessive as he is of his One God and love of his life, He Xuan´s destruction for this trespassing would not be an impossible thing. But maybe that is what he is counting on..if he can´t have a chance at whatever it is he is looking for, destruction at the hands of probably the only being he would ever consider a friend would be preferable.
Xie Lian doesn´t object when He Xuan pulls closer still and, after a small, nearly imperceptible moment of reluctance, places a single, feather light kiss on the corner of his mouth, catching the single tear lingering there before finally breaking their eye contact and curling himself into a ball, head cushioned on Xie Lian´s lap, his hands still gripping the hand holding his ashes. Whatever kind of power had him going up until this point finally seems to have run out completely, golden eyes growing dull and dark and his body boneless and surprisingly heavy against Xie Lian´s.
And this is how Hua Cheng finds them in the end, with He Xuan curled up as small as possible against Xie Lian, head in his lap and sleeping deeply. Hua Cheng´s eyebrows shoot up in a mix of confused amusement at first at the sight in front of him...only to immediately turn into a worried frown when he sees the dried tear tracks on Xie Lian´s face. He flashes over in a second, power accumulating around him, ready to tear apart what must have surely been the reason for his Love´s distress before a small shake of Xie Lian´s head stops him mid movement, confusion clear on his face.
"Gege what happened? How the hell did -he-get here?"
"I don´t know. San Lang..."
He Xuan´s grip around his fingers has loosened in sleep, fingers curled slightly into white robes instead and Xie Lian wordlessly opens his hand, showing what he has been carefully guarding all the while. It might be the first time he has ever seen his San Lang´s mouth hanging open in utter shock and it would have been funny if the whole situation wasn´t just one heartbreak after another.
"San Lang what do I do?"
His voice cracks slightly at the end, completely at loss for once, eyes begging Hua Cheng to come up with some kind of solution to this, that´s what he does after all and nobody knows Black Water Sinking Ships better then he does. Their voices make He Xuan twitch in his sleep and Xie Lian instictively strokes the dark mop of hair to calm him down again, pearl once more safely secured in his hand. The gentle gesture has Hua Cheng´s face turn complicated for a moment....before he rakes a hand through his own hair with an audible sigh, powers once again tucked away safely and climbs into Xie Lian´s pile of pillows, hugging him close when Xie Lian immediately seeks his proximity and placing a kiss on top of his head.
"...I honestly don´t know A-Lian. You want to keep it?"
"And him" is the unasked second part of the question and it takes a few heartbeats neither of them needs before he can feel Xie Lian´s slight nod against his chest, reluctant but there.
"He´s...I have been where he is now San Lang and I just can´t..."
Hua Cheng shushes him with another tender kiss, softly rubbing his nose against warm hair, comfort to them both, breathing in the smell of incense and flowers, before Xie Lian´s voice can break completely, chocked up by the threat of fresh tears as it is. Oh he knows what his one true love is talking about, he has seen him after all, broken and alone and desperate with nothing but a useless trash of a ghost fire by his side...and He Xuan doens´t even have that.
"It´s alright A-Lian, I know, no need to explain. We´ll figure it out I promise...after I´ve kicked his ass to hell and back for pulling a stunt like this and making you cry of course."
Xie Lian can feel the tiniest smile tug at his wet face as he bumps his head into his San Lang´s chest in gentle reproach, knowing the threat to be an empty one...after all, there are two hands gently stroking wet, silky black hair now, one warm and scarred and one just as cold as the one of the Devastation in their arms.