Chapter Text
Liz strolled along Privet Drive at a leisurely pace. She had persuaded Minerva to let her stay in Great Britain a little longer – she would join Miranda in France only when she thought she had had enough holidays on her own.
When she spotted Harry in a garden, he was plucking weeds from a flowerbed. “Hey, Potter,” she said casually, uninvited stepping into the garden and over to him. “Happy Birthday.”
Harry lifted his head in surprise. “Er… thank you.” Liz could tell from his face that she was probably the last person he had expected.
“Great weather for doing the gardening, isn’t it?”
“Mmh…” Harry dedicated himself to the plants again.
“You could really look somewhat happier. Personally, I love weeding – especially on my birthday,” Liz claimed. Harry only groaned as an answer. “No, really, outside chores are the best of all! It’s not my usual territory, but if you insist…” She knelt down next to him, fastened her ponytail and started pulling weeds as well.
“Don’t look like you’ve seen a ghost, I’m helping you!” she explained, when Harry stopped in his work again and gave her a confused look. “And before you ask, my jeans have already been dirty when I left home this morning.”
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” he told her sceptically.
“Neither do I – I mean, like, I’m not even getting paid for it – but okay, never mind.”
“My aunt and uncle are upset anyway because Mr Mason, some rich guy who my uncle wants to work with, is coming tonight with his wife – what do you think they will say when they see a stranger working in their garden?”
“Oh, let that be my problem,” Liz said lightly. “Your aunt will be thankful for my presence, if any. You still live in that cupboard?”
“No, not anymore. I’ve got a bedroom meanwhile, but all my schoolbooks and my broomstick and so on are locked up in the cupboard. I have no idea how I’m supposed to revise without my books.” Well… Liz wasn’t planning on revising either – although she bloody well knew where her books were… “But the worst of all is that they don’t let Hedwig out of her cage,” Harry complained now. “She’s bored, and then she makes noise, and we are all woken up in the middle of the night.”
Liz snickered. “Can’t be much worse than sleeping on a sofa in your mum’s office and having to listen to your sister’s and her boyfriend’s moans from the bedroom next door.”
Now Harry looked even more confused than before. “Moans?”
“Uh… forget it. I don’t want to bore you with stories about where I sleep. What do you think of birthdays? I mean, I understand rules like ‘you’re old enough to drink alcohol from now’, but I don’t get that thing of ‘you’re twelve now, here’s a new bike because you’re twelve’ – like, what did you achieve? You didn’t die, what kind of achievement is that?”
“Surviving my aunt’s whims is really worth a reward,” Harry grinned. “Actually, I should get all of my cousin’s presents.”
Liz snorted a laugh. “If that counts, I deserve first-hand clothes,” she considered. “I’m the one living with Minerva McGonagall, after all. If there’s one thing I know about grown-up women, it’s that they would never do chores themselves as long as there’s a child who can do it for them.”
“Really?” Liz didn’t know Harry thought about aunt Petunia, who was cleaning the house right now, so she only wondered how he could have missed that fact.
“Hell, I even have to brush my mum’s hair like she couldn’t hold the brush herself!”
While Harry was trying to find counterarguments, his aunt stepped out of the house. “Harry! Who is that girl?” she snapped. “And what is she doing with my flowers?!”
Liz immediately got up and wiped her dirty hands on her jeans. “Good day, Mrs Dursley,” she said calmly. “I am Elizabeth North – well, I think it’s better if we don’t shake hands. I was visiting Mrs Figg – you know, the lady who owns so many cats – and then I saw Harry in the garden. We met at King’s Cross last year, I didn’t know he lived here, but really, you have such a nice garden! And when Harry told me that Mr and Mrs Mason are coming, I thought I’d better help him, so you can be sure the garden looks good when they arrive.”
Not for the first time, Harry was surprised how innocent and polite Liz could appear if only she wanted to. Aunt Petunia believed every single word and even allowed that Liz would help until they were done with weeding.
When his aunt had disappeared again, Harry shook his head incredulous. “Amazing,” he said. “You don’t even look like my cousin, and she loves you nevertheless.”
Liz smiled her Slytherin smile. “Let’s just say, I know a thing or two about people.”
“Mmh. How did you even get here? Don’t you live in Scotland?”
“Public means of transport,” she told him. “Seriously. When we’re done with the weeds, I’ll take the bus back home.”
“You’re taking a bus from Little Whinging to… somewhere in Scotland? That’d be more like ten different buses, and it would take ages,” Harry doubted. “Are you staying at London for the holidays, or illegally apparating to Hogsmeade? You can tell me; I won’t pass it on!”
Liz rolled her eyes. “Gosh, Harry. It’s a magical bus, it takes an hour and a half at most until I’m home. But I did also use normal buses to get here, yes. By the way, I’m still ages away from apparating, not to mention doing it illegally. And buses and trains are much more convenient than apparating or portkeys, I don’t get why we don’t use them all the time.”
They worked in silence until they were done; it took them just a few more minutes anyway. Pulling the last pest plant from the soil, Liz stood up and patted the dirt off her hands and knees. She would try to find a fountain to wash her hands later. “Well, then,” she said, already heading for the street.
“See you,” Harry said.
“Somewhen,” she added.
“Diagon Alley, probably.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Severus – sorry, I don’t want to disturb you…”
“We’re on our summer holidays, Minerva. You don’t disturb me, even if you wanted to.”
The two of them were standing in front of the greenhouses on the Hogwarts grounds: Severus dressed in his usual black robes, Minerva wearing jeans and a muggle t-shirt.
“Oh, good. I’ve been looking for you because… because…” She grabbed her long plait and turned it between her hands sheepishly.
“You need to talk to me,” Severus finished her sentence. “Right?”
“Exactly.” Minerva went on playing with her hair. “Do you… May I…”
His lips twitched in amusement. “There’s no need to be shy, Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts.”
She gave him an annoyed look. “I know who I am! It’s just… it’s a rather personal issue.”
“Minerva, dear, it almost sounds like you wanted to ask me out.”
“God, Severus! Not that personal.” She let go of her plait as they both moved towards the lake. “Did you read the list of books the students need for Defence next year?”
Severus nodded.
“Well, I was wondering whether those books were actually worth their price. In my opinion, it’s extremely unlikely that Liz could learn something from them that Miranda’s old books can’t teach her, and Lockhart’s books are not exactly cheap.” In fact, Lockhart’s collected works weren’t in line with her budget, not in the slightest. “I decided Liz should not read those books at all – and if that’s a problem, I shall have a serious talk with Lockhart.”
“Good decision,” Severus commented. “But you do realise she’s not my daughter?”
“I do,” Minerva assured him. “And I further realise that we did and still do most of the parenting together, so I thought you should get a say in this matter – in case you think Liz should read Lockhart’s books for some reason, I’ll respect that.”
“Don’t need to respect me,” he grumbled, “in terms of that writing idiot we’re in complete agreement for once. He’s always been a pain in the neck, and since he started writing it only got worse – all the ladies are at his feet.”
Minerva laid her head to one side. “Not all of them.”
“That’s because you don’t like blonde guys.”
She sat down by the lake and put her bare feet into the water. “No, that’s because I’m called Minerva I-can-do-it-better McGonagall for a reason.”
“Really?” Severus took a seat next to her, crossing his legs in order to keep his shoes away from the water. “I thought your nickname was Minerva My-accent-is-damn-hot-and-I-know-it…”
This made her laugh although she was still worried about her precarious financial situation. “Seriously?”
“Sure.” His hands wandered up her back and started massaging her shoulders.
Minerva visibly stiffened under his grip. “Okay, what do you want?”
“Is it so difficult to believe I’m just a nice person who wants you to feel good?”
She sighed. “Severus, you are not a nice person, and I know that. You wouldn’t give me a free massage without expecting something in return.”
“Actually, there is something I’d like to ask for…”
“See?”
“You shut up. I want you to stop worrying about the Wolfsbane and let me care for the potions ingredients and the new cauldron that Liz asked for.”
“Haven’t I told you to not use your Legilimency on me?”
Severus just shrugged. “It doesn’t need magic to know what you’re thinking about.”
“But –”
“I heard you let Dumbledore pay for the dentist.”
“Dentists are much cheaper than Wolfsbane – do you even know how many werewolves have to prostitute themselves to pay for their potion?”
“Don’t take it personally, but no one expects you to do so.”
Minerva let herself fall backwards into the grass. “Do you mean the part about paying or…”
“Hi, guys!” Liz appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.
“… the part about getting paid?” Minerva finished her sentence.
Liz took her shoes off and sat with the two adults. “May I join the conversation?”
“Of course,” Severus said generously. “We were just discussing whether your mum should walk the streets to make money for your Wolfsbane.”
Minerva reached out to poke him in the side. “Idiot.”
“Let’s keep it realistic,” Liz said matter-of-factly. “She wouldn’t find the time for it.”
The Transfiguration teacher sat up again. “I’m so glad you’re mature enough to discuss this topic without giggling awkwardly. Although I’m still wondering why we have to discuss it at all.”
Severus didn’t go into it. “Have you ever thought about how naive kids could see you walking along an alley and tell their parents they’d seen an alley cat?”
Liz snickered. “Even the famous Harry Potter probably thinks ‘walking the streets’ is the same as ‘going for a walk’. I visited him today, and when we talked about our bedroom situations… oh god, this was so cringey… I mentioned that having a noisy owl in your bedroom couldn’t be much worse than sleeping on a sofa and hearing your sister and her boyfriend moan, and he looked at me like: Moan? But why should they moan in their sleep? I felt like a scientist who’s talking about stuff that no one else knows.”
Minerva stroked her hair. “The good news is: Now that your sister’s engaged, that won’t happen again. Besides, you’re all given the ‘talk’ this year – and then every year, to refresh your memory. Not like you needed it.”
“Because second year is not a little late to tell them kids: Yes, people do have sex, and yeah, that’s what they do when they excuse themselves to go to bed…” Liz looked at them in turns. “Let’s be honest, that’s ridiculous.”
“I’ve always said it’s too late to explain menstruation to twelve-year-olds,” Minerva agreed. “But on the other hand, we don’t want to scare the first years with that lesson. Although…” she threw Severus a side glance, “… you’d scare everyone with your talk.”
“My talk is completely harmless, compared to Slughorn’s!” he defended himself. “After his speech I declared to remain a celibate, I mean, it was truly terror-inducing.”
“A decision which didn’t last so long,” Minerva added.
“Which is proving that no speech in the world can be bad enough to spoil your interest in certain things, not his talk and surely not mine.”
Liz looked at Severus with an ominous spark in her eyes. “Gimme dat memory.”
“Let me think… no.”
“Why not? You don’t look like it had influenced your sanity.”
“Liz, no,” Minerva came to his aid. “I heard that talk during my work placement at Hogwarts…”
“That was in 1977, during my seventh year.”
“… yeah, and it’s definitely not a memory I would miss if I’d suffer from amnesia.”
“Okayyy…” Liz said slowly. “Then maybe when I’m older. So, you’re the one to tell Potter how humans really procreate?” She looked at Severus curiously.
“Actually,” he said thoughtfully, “Lockhart is younger than me, so it’ll be his turn this time.”
Minerva looked rather sceptical. “Technically, Aurora is younger than me, too,” she remembered him. “But we found out that it’s better if I take over the lecture. We’ll see how experienced Lockhart is in this area, and if it’s all too horrendous, you’ll have to do it.”
Severus snorted contemptuously. “Talking about all the ladies at his feet, you would expect a little bit of knowledge from him.”
“Mmh…” Minerva said doubtfully. “Would you?”