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This felt like her fault. She did, after all, tell him not to break anything. How could he have not taken that as a challenge?
But those were only Zoe’s initial thoughts after walking into the vandalized Hex Tech. They were merely a coping mechanism. She knew there was an explanation for this – a perfectly reasonable one, too.
An explanation that will come with a lot of earnest apologies that will make it really hard to stay angry. Even now, surrounded by the wreckage as she was, she could only do a halfhearted job of it at best.
It wasn't like he did it on purpose. Things just worked out like that with Casperan. When he did something right it somehow seemed accidental and more result of luck than anything else - and when things started going bad they went apocalyptically bad. He had the kind of bad luck that made one question if maybe there wasn’t a curse on him, because for someone with nothing but good intentions to constantly make such a mess of things just didn’t seem possible otherwise. Knowing the deal and making the stupid, stupid decision to help him anyway made her as responsible for all this property damage as he was. Which made spending the next few hours sorting through the rubble seem like a fitting punishment.
Doing that she might at least find a clue or two, piece together a theory about what exactly went down last night.
Not that she'd have to rely on conjecture. She expected an explanation. She always got one so far, after all. One she had to disentangle from all the apologies, promises it’ll never happen again and the occasional genuinely mystified Why do you put up with me, Zoe?
A question very much on her mind as she put a closed for maintenance sign in front of the entrance to Hex Tech and let her fellow wizards know there's no need to come to work today. Why did she put up with all this?
Was it because life was supposed to be a little chaotic and this way at least she always knew which direction the chaos would be coming from? Was it because as bad as this was at least she was only the one picking up the pieces instead of having to stand her ground against whatever caused this destruction?
She only had the vaguest idea, a sense of truly ancient magic permeating the room even now, hours after whatever unleashed it has gone – and still she found she had a new appreciation for her own very uneventful night she mostly slept through. To some that was a luxury they didn’t get that often.
Maybe that was why. Maybe knowing that there were those who patrolled the streets of Arcadia, fighting whatever unnatural things went bump in the night, and never even considered not risking their lives that way was all the answer there was. How could she not try to do her part, even if all that was called for was to put things back the way they were before someone tried to be too heroic for his own good around them…?
Sighing she tentatively touched an enormous chunk of ice of arcane origin, wondering which spell would work best to get the damn thing to melt without needlessly exhausting her. Which was a real concern because she was surrounded by the damn things. She was just about to head to the back, both to assess what damage was done to that part of the store and to consult a grimoire, when her phone started to ring. "Right on cue," she smiled, seeing the name on the screen. Then, switching to a far less amused tone of voice, she added, "Did you misheard me last night? Because I promise you I didn't say break everything..."
* * *
Douxie knew there was just one last thing to take care of now. Yet for some reason Arcadia was already disappearing under a layer of clouds and he only got as far as staring at his phone. Wondering what he was going to say. Whether there was anything one could say under the circumstances. Because from a certain point of view all he was doing right now was fleeing the scene after causing untold damage...
The truth was there was no reason to worry. Zoe might get snarky at first but she will let him explain. She always did.
And that was what was making this so hard.
It confused him no end, the fact that they were still friends somehow. Because the sheer quantity of magical mishaps he ended up involving her in…? He has given her every reason to want to distance herself from the chaos that followed wherever he went. He wouldn’t do a better job if he was actively trying to get her to file a restraining order. Still she remained the one person he knew he could go to for help.
Of course that was going to change now. Because how could this not be the last straw? The destruction the Arcane Order caused redefined the word excessive and she would be walking into it with no warning when she got to work this morning.
There was no combination of explanations and promises that would get him out of this.
Probably for the best. She didn’t deserve to get constantly dragged into the series of unfortunate magical events his life seemed to solely consist of.
Yes. It really was for the best to let her know he was leaving and her life was about to get a lot less unpredictable as a consequence. So why was he still blankly staring at the phone screen in a way he knew will provoke some kind of comment from Archie any second now...?
Why was this so hard?
Yes, today was a bad day. One of the worst and that was saying something. He still felt raw with loss and terrified by how close he got to losing his own life and that made this the last thing he wanted to do. He had no idea what the future would bring and to sever this tie was the last thing he wanted... But he owed her this. This last chance to call him all the things he absolutely deserved to be called. One last chance to tell him he better finds a way to make this up to her - something he was yet to manage to do even once.
It was the sense of finality that made him hesitate even as another minute passed by. But in the end he couldn't escape the knowledge that Zoe was owed an explanation. And, as hard as he knew it will be to say the word, she was also owed a goodbye.
* * *
"The Arcane Order," she repeats. Wondering if this was one of those times she should take him seriously - or if it was one of those occasions where her main priority should be getting him into the nearest hospital because this was obviously the concussion talking...
"I know how improbable that sounds."
"With Merlin back in town? He definitely attracts those kinds of enemies," she sighs.
But there is something about the silence that answers those words and somehow she knows she said the worst possible thing she could have said. She knows even before she's told how much the temporary victory over the Order cost. That all the responsibility that once weighed down Merlin's shoulders has been passed onto his former apprentice. "I'm sorry," she says. Words that sound painfully insufficient. And she almost misses his reply while she's trying - and failing - to imagine what losing someone as formidable in his abilities as Merlin was that even means.
"Wait, what?" she says after doing a double take. "You're going where...?"
"It's better if you don't know. I just wanted to say goodbye. Well, no, I wanted to say sorry for all the property damage. Goodbye is the part I don't want to be saying."
"So don't."
Her reply, as quick and sure as it is, catches him by surprise. There even is a weak laugh for a second. "Zoe..."
"I'm serious. No goodbyes. I know you probably have the best of intentions, going on the run, drawing the attention of the Order away from Arcadia and everything. But here's the thing - I met you. I had the front row seat to this more times than I can count. I know how these things go. Never the way you think they will. "
"Thanks for reminding me."
"What I'm trying to say is you can keep your goodbye. I'm not saying it. Not when I know you'll be back before I begin getting used to how quiet things have gotten."
"I really don't think that's how it's going to work out this time."
"Wouldn't be the first time you were wrong."
"Zoe..." Douxie repeats, sounding just a touch exasperated. But he also sounds like he's smiling and that's all she needed to hear, she finds.
"Whatever, Casperan. You'll be back before the week is over."
There is a silence on the line for a heartbeat. She can almost hear them - the words he just stopped short of saying. That it's not that simple. That he can't promise her that. And it's entirely possible that things are as bad as he seems to think they are - or far worse. Not telling her might even be a favor he thinks it is... "Goodbye, Zoe."
"You're not getting me to say it," she replies, still with the same certainty the words would be wasted. And it doesn't even come as a surprise when she catches herself smiling.
"I'm going to miss you."
"You won't have time to start missing me," she says only. And the laughter that answers her makes everything better.
She hangs up after listening to it for just a second or two longer. No need to get things tortuously prolonged. It's not like there's anything more that needs saying.
She had no illusions about extracting an actual promise of return out of him and she doubted Douxie thought he could get her to accept this for the final goodbye he had in mind. Because no way that was happening. Not for them.
It didn't matter how much distance he put between himself and Arcadia. Things like that meant little to people for whom magic was a daily reality. And magic made life nothing if not unpredictable. Living at the mercy of spells and arcane occurrences how could anything ever feel final.
This wasn't a goodbye. Couldn't be. It was a so long at best...