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Startling out of his slumber due to a nightmare, Klaus reluctantly dragged his eyes open. His head instantly burned as the light of day hit his eyes. He was in Diego’s apartment, apparently. That was unexpected. Klaus turned his head to find Ben sat on a chair, head in his book. He needed some new books... His brother smiled gently at him, so Klaus returned the gesture.
The clock on Diego’s wall read ten to six. It must’ve been AM based on the fact Klaus wasn’t puking his guts up or deep in the shakes. He would never be up at this time if he hadn’t had a nightmare. Quietly groaning, and blinking the bleariness from his eyes, Klaus dragged himself into sitting upright. He reached for his jacket on the floor, and began going through his pockets. Klaus could feel Ben’s glare burning into his head. As he shook some pills into his palm, he noticed writing. He instinctively opened the other palm. “What the fuck are these?” Klaus whispered as he flicked his vision from palm to palm.
Closing his book, and allowing it to evaporate into thin air, Ben was relieved to find Klaus had forgotten he’d scrawled HELLO and GOODBYE onto his palms. Hopefully this meant he’d also forgotten his intentions to have them tattooed. It was a terrible idea. They would definitely be something people noticed as he stole from them. Ben’s relief was unfortunately fleeting though, as Klaus made an excited gasp; seeming to come up with the idea all over again, like he’d never originally had it. Ben had the feeling he was going to permanently damage his brain with the amount of shit he puts in his body. “Bad idea.” Ben grumbled at his brother, who scowled in response.
It was a brilliant idea, Ben was just jealous he couldn’t get tattoos on account of him being dead. Klaus decided to take advantage of waking up before Diego, and stood to begin quietly rifling through his belongings once he’d been to the bathroom. He knew he had a bottle of vodka stashed under the sink. Idiot, as if Klaus wouldn’t look there. Klaus chugged for a few moments, and then decided he should probably put it back. If he stole it, Diego would know he knew about it. Klaus let out a dispirited sigh, and stood back up, scanning his vision around the room. There had to be something worth stealing. Were his knives expensive?
Klaus made his way across the room, completely blanking Ben’s nagging. He had to bite down on his lip, to stop from letting out an excited yelp when he noticed Diego had stupidly left his wallet on the kitchen counter. He snatched it and shoved it in his pocket - before feeling a tad guilty. He pulled it back out, slid Diego’s drivers licence out of the front, and flung the ID across the room. Feeling more comfortable with his theft now, Klaus happily put the wallet back in his pocket.
—
“You know you’re gonna have to keep them clean and everything.” Ben nagged, feeling regretful before his brother had even gotten the damn tattoos. Klaus ignored him as he continued staggering in the direction of a trashy looking tattoo parlour. “At least wait a while, sleep on it!” Ben pleaded, even though he knew his brother wouldn’t listen. He briefly turned to frown at Ben.
“I already did, apparently.” Klaus moaned, feeling irritated that Ben hadn’t even intended on telling Klaus he’d come up with such a great idea the night before. Really he should be all for this idea, he’s a ghost after all. “Stop nagging at me.” he grumbled as he waved a dismissive hand in his brother’s direction.
This was a mistake. A lifelong, permanent mistake. “What about the money?!” Ben abruptly blurted “You could be spending it on drugs...” he mumbled, feeling quite guilty that he was manipulating him this way. Ben really didn’t want to encourage buying drugs, but he was going to buy them anyway - he might as well use his money on that rather than stupid tattoos. Klaus would just have to make himself miserable, and put himself at risk, trying to scrounge up the money he’d wasted.
Suddenly stopping walking, Klaus took a moment to consider his brother’s outburst. He knew fine well he was just manipulating him, but he did have a point... Klaus hummed as he considered his options. If he spent it on drugs, he’d just have to buy more shortly anyway - but if he spent it on tattoos, they’d last forever. Klaus confidently smiled to himself as he continued to march towards the tattoo parlour.
—
“Has anyone ever told you you look like Tom Brady?” Klaus mused as he twirled his hair around his finger. The guy looked more like Tom Jones, but that wasn’t exactly flattering. The tattooist scowled over the counter at Klaus, clearly not loving the highly over-generous compliment. Ungrateful bastard. This would be much easier if Klaus were a girl. Klaus pointed to the man’s sleeve tattoo “I love the...” what was that?! “...zombie octopus?” Klaus awkwardly squeaked. “It really highlights your huge muscles.” Klaus nervously giggled with a wink, hoping said huge muscles weren’t going to punch him in the face.
“It’s still twenty-five dollars.” the tattooist replied, with an unamused eyebrow raised. Ben was experiencing severe second hand embarrassment on Klaus’ behalf. Klaus moaned and stuck his bottom lip out, something he was far too old to still be doing. Ben hoped he would decide he’d rather spend it on drugs, and leave the parlour. Unfortunately though, that didn’t seem to be the case.
“Fine.” Klaus grumbled, very unhappy to be parting with his hard earned cash. Or... Diego’s hard earned cash. He pulled out one twenty dollar bill and one ten dollar bill, and huffily shoved them into the man’s hand. “That is not a tip.” Klaus grunted. “I need the five.” Ben rolled his eyes to the heavens, it really was a stupid idea to backtalk a man who was just about to leave a permanent ink stain on your body.
—
The entire time Klaus filled out the paperwork, Ben had been nagging and nagging - trying to talk him out of it. Klaus ignored him, his nattering was making it difficult to come up with lies to put on the forms. He panicked and used the address from Finding Nemo, except exchanging Sydney for their city of Argyle. The tattooist didn’t really look like the type to watch Pixar movies, anyway. Hopefully... America has Wallaby Ways too, right? The tattooist finally called for Klaus to come through, so he rushed over and gave Ben the finger in the process. Maybe he could just flash him his GOODBYE hand from now on, Klaus thought.
Just before the man placed the tattoo machine against Klaus’ stupid, stupid palms, Ben decided to give it one last shot. “It doesn’t even make any sense!” he yelped “You haven’t been able to see dead people for years!” he threw his hands up with exasperation.
Absolutely and utterly fed up of Ben’s whining, Klaus lost his cool. “Well you’re dead aren’t you?!” he yelled, scowling at his ghost brother. The tattooist rolled his chair backwards, and narrowed his eyes at Klaus. Goddamn Ben for always making him look insane. Klaus wheezed as he made a swirling motion by his ear with his finger, gesturing that he was cuckoo. He was getting the freaking tattoos. “You actually put Tom Brady to shame!” he exclaimed to the man, placing a swooning hand to his chest.