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Going On A Date With Your Lesbians Date Is Perfectly Okay

Summary:

Sylvains takes Hilda’s place on a date, that’s it, that’s the whole fic

Notes:

This idea came to me after taking too many allergy pills and was written on my notes app. And no, it’s not edited who the hell do you think I am?

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Wait let me get this straight” Sylvain sighed, “and correct me if I’m wrong please. Your brother set you up with a date tonight with a guy you have never met before despite the fact that you, a bonafied lesbian, are already dating someone else?”

Hilda smiled shyly at her friend, “well in my brother’s defense he doesn’t know I’m a lesbian or that I’m dating someone.”

“Okay” Sylvain answered slowly, “I mean that’s a bitch of a situation but I feel like you’re not just telling me this because you wanted to vent.”

Hilda groaned, “look I’m going to stop beating around the bush. Will you go on this date instead?”

Sylvain blinked. “Me?”

“Yes you! I mean it’s not like you don’t go on dates all the time anyways and look, I’m not expecting you to woo the guy or anything.”

“So you want me to go, in your place? Me. A guy.”

“Basically yeah” Hilda smiled before sighing, “look. It would mean so much to me if you did this Sylvain. And hey, if the guy is hot then boom you just got yourself a date.”

“Alright so I’m going to repeat this and you tell me if I’m wrong. You want me to go on this date, a date where the guy thinks that he is meeting with you, an 120 pound small girl and is instead going to get my 200 pound six foot ass. That sound right to you?”

“Yes.”

Sylvain groaned, “I’m going to have an aneurysm.”

“Look you don’t have to stay, just like. Break the news to the guy or something” Hilda shrugged.

“Alright. What’s in it for me?” That instantly caused the girl to groan. “Nah nah, don’t start. You know I’m done doing this shit for you for free so what do I get.”

“Fine” she mumbled. “I’ll take you out to eat and pay for it.”

“And?”

She sighed, “and I’ll owe you one favor no questions asked.”

“Good girl” Sylvain patted her head to add to the annoyance before leaning back on his chair. “Alright well. Tell me the time and place.”

—————

The restaurant was overly fancy in his opinion. It was one of those stuck up restaurants that a cup of water itself probably cost more than an entire meal in any fast food place. Still, it was a really beautiful building and the decoration inside was the kind that made Sylvain feel like he was back to living the life of luxury that he had grown up in.

Thankfully for him, what he was wearing didn’t make him stand out all that much which was nice since goddess forbid he ever underdress for any date. He had a reputation to uphold after all. Still, he wasn’t actually looking to stay for the date or even put any effort in it. His plan was to sit, break the news to the guy, and then go back home to finish the commission he had been putting off for far too long. Simple. Breezy. Easy plan.

He looked down at his phone, 7:30 pm exactly. Good. That was when the date was supposed to happen so Sylvain figured that it meant the guy was already here. From what Hilda had explained the guy had texted her that he would be sitting in the furthest most table to the right side of the restaurant. She gave a simple description of the guy to him too, long black hair, white, semi tall, and ‘mean’.

Sylvain shrugged, looking around the restaurant and his eyes immediately honed in on the exact location that Hilda had told him. And well. Hilda had forgotten to add to the description: deadly, beautiful, sexy, would step on you free of charge, absolutely stunning, and ‘Sylvain’s exact type’. Truly. If this was any other situation he would be buying this man a drink but alas, this was just a mission for him to deliver bad news and that was it.

He sighed, adjusting his shirt a little before walking over to the table, the man too busy looking at his phone to even realize he was approaching so by the time Sylvain was sliding into the seat in front of him the man was looking up at him in shock but Sylvain was on a mission so before he could say anything, he started speaking.

“Hey so, sorry but the girl you were supposed to be on a date with? Yeah. She’s a flaming homosexual, we’re talking the girl cuffs her jeans kind of gay” he laughed. “And also she has a girlfriend just that her brother’s well, out of the loop, I’m sure you understand. But anyways besides the point, she sent me to tell you this so before you order anything here and spend like an arm and a leg on whatever— what do they even have here” he mused, opening the menu and taking a quick look. “Oh shit wait Duscurian? Fuck okay never mind, get something to go and then eat this at your place because listen, best food around.” He grinned before waving his hand at the man, “Anyways that was all I had to do. Yours truly is just here to relay that news so don’t shoot the messenger okay?”

The man blinked at him, which Sylvain didn’t fault him since he had just dropped a whole avalanche of news to him. He smiled at the man patiently, giving him as much time as he needed to cope with what he’d been told. As the man’s brain processed what was going on Sylvain took a look at the menu because he was already here might as well order himself something to take home because he wasn’t lying when he said that Duscurian food was the best food around.

“What’s your name?” Sylvain looked up, the man frowning slightly though his gut told him it was more of the man having a resting bitch face than actually being upset.

“Sylvain, at your service” he grinned, winking at the man playfully before looking back at the menu. “Anyways I truly am sorry about the whole getting set up on a blind date with a lesbian. That sucks.”

“I’m gay.”

Oh well that changed everything. If Sylvain was a robot you would be seeing him physically change gears and his head undergo a reboot session because if the man was gay then this mission just turned into a very selfish mission for him.

“Oh?” He looked up, grinning at the man as he put the menu down. Putting his elbows on the table, linking his fingers together, and resting his chin on them. Making sure to do a very very obvious look over the man. His eyes slowly checking out the man's physique and then landing on his face, the man’s cheeks slightly blushing by the whole exchange. “Is that so?” He purred, watching in amazement as the man huffed and looked away acting as if he was annoyed by him despite the way his face flushed a deeper red.

“Putting your elbows on the table is bad manners, don’t you know” the man glared at him though Sylvain categorized how adorable the man’s glare looked when it was matched with a blush.

“You’re right my bad” he chuckled playfully, putting his hands up in defense before looking up at the man with a smile. “You never introduced yourself.”

“Felix.”

“Well Felix, it’d be a real shame to let tonight go to waste don’t you think? Eating is always better with company” he smiled at the man.

Felix rolled his eyes at him, “I take it you’re the type to flirt with anything that breathes?”

“Ouch!” He palmed at his heart with a playful chuckle. “You wound me Felix. And here you’re the one that came onto me first, or what? You tell everyone that you’re gay before telling them your name?” That earned him an immediate blush from the man.

“You’re unbelievable” Felix mumbled, looking away from him and towards the waiter that came to them.

The waiter looked between the two of them, shifting awkwardly as his eyes stayed on Felix for a second longer than usual. Immediately Sylvain knew that the waiter and Felix must know each other and that he had come to help out which was nice. Very knightly of the man. But incredibly unnecessary since Sylvain was now very sure that Felix was interested in him.

“Ah thanks, I have been dying of thirst” Sylvain smiled at the man before opening the menu and pointing at one of the very unnecessarily difficult fruity alcoholic beverages. “I will have the dragon fruit twist and Felix?” He asked innocently the man glaring at him before huffing.

“I’ll have the lemonade.”

“A-Alright” the man stumbled slightly, clearly not expecting Felix to answer or for Sylvain to even speak to him.

“Oh and put everything in one check” Sylvain grinned at the waiter before his eyes shifted towards Felix. The man looking at him questioningly before Sylvain winked at him and that expression quickly turned to a very flustered angry one.

“Don’t. I’m paying.”

“No no, I insist” Sylvain smiled before turning to the boy. “I’ll give you a good tip if you do me this solid” he finished that sentence by giving the waiter his very own wink. The freckled boy instantly blushed from head to toe.

“I-I’ll get those drinks right out” he stammered before scurrying away.

“You. Are not paying” Felix hissed causing the redhead to laugh.

“Well it’s up to our little waiter to decide that”

The benefits of spontaneously deciding to make this a date was that there was a lot to talk about since neither of them knew each other. For his end, Sylvain found out that his guess had been right, Felix did know the waiter, Ashe, as well as the owner of the restaurant. That Felix’s brother also didn’t know that he was gay and that he was currently going to school to become an architecture. That he was very very passionate about swords and that he wanted to learn how to forge them (this was the only time that Felix went on a tangent). For Felix’s end, Sylvain told him that he was a sculpture, that he used to live in Faerghus until his parents got divorced and him and his mom moved to Leicester. That he had met his friend (Hilda) during highschool and that was why he had accepted this strange request. That he lived alone with his cat (this caused Felix to ask so many questions because apparently he was a cat guy) and that he loved shitty indie movies.

Surprisingly though, the two were hitting it off. They matched well with each other, Felix wasn’t one to talk that much which was nice for someone like Sylvain that didn’t know how to shut up. Not only that, but when Felix actually talked it was real responses that assured Sylvain that the man had been listening and that he wasn’t just being ignored. Plus the food also helped because it was so ridiculously good that Sylvain couldn’t help but wax poetry about it much to Felix’s amusement (Sylvain was quickly figuring out that Felix as much as he pretended not to, he did find Sylvain funny).

All in all, the date was probably the most perfect date that Sylvain had managed to have in his entire life.

“I’m killing Ashe” Felix grumbled as Sylvain signed his copy of the receipt, coming out the victor of who was paying for their food.

“Can’t blame the guy, I’m giving him a pretty nice tip” Sylvain chuckled, and he really was. A $40 tip to be exact because the boy deserved it!...or more like Sylvain wanted to leave a good impression so that he could get in Ashe’s good graces just in case Felix and him went on a second date.

“You know that this means that next time I pay.”

That instantly caused him to look up and grin at the younger man, “Felix are you asking me on a second date?”

“Obviously.”

He couldn’t help but laugh, pocketing his receipt before standing up from the table and holding out his hand to the man, “I’d be more than happy to.”

Notes:

Go yell at me on twitter