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It’s been a week since the final battle with Horde Prime, and all the things Catra needs to do are itching under her skin. But there’s one that’s itching in particular, and she can’t ignore it anymore, even though she really, really wants to.
“What’s going on?” Adora calls from across the room, sitting at the desk and looking over some notes. What the notes are, Catra doesn’t know and maintains she doesn’t care, because she hasn’t asked but she’s sure no one wants her help in the reconstruction.
“It’s not important,” she replies, lying on the bed and throwing her arm across her eyes. She’s trying to not straight-up lie to Adora anymore, so she didn’t say it was nothing, but that doesn’t mean she actually wants to talk about it. And “not important” is close to the truth, right?
Adora snorts. “Right. And that’s why you haven’t had a single snarky comment to say since you woke up, even though it’s been an hour and you haven’t moved an inch.”
“I like to lie in bed.”
Catra can almost feel Adora rolling her eyes. “Catra, c’mon. I know you better than that. Something’s going on in that head of yours. If you tell me about it, maybe I can help.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Catra grouses, rolling over to face Adora. “Okay, maybe it’s something.”
Adora turns around in her chair and sits backwards, arms crossed over the back. “Something. Very descriptive. Want to fill me in on what it is, babe?”
Catra knows Adora called her “babe” to get under her defenses and make her feel all warm and fuzzy and open up. She knows that, but it still works. Adora can be so annoying .
“It’s Scorpia,” Catra sighs. “I need to talk to her.”
“You haven’t yet?” Adora’s eyebrows raise. “I saw her give you a big hug after Prime.”
“She did. But we didn’t talk. And...there are some things I should probably say.”
“Like what?”
“I need to...apologize.” Catra swallows, already feeling tight in the chest. “I treated her pretty bad before she left the Horde. I was a...bad friend.” The words still ring in her ears on bad nights.
Adora nods. She’s probably the last person on Etheria who needs to be told the ways in which Catra can be a bad friend. Catra’s ears droop.
After a pause, Adora starts talking. “I think it’s good, you know. You never apologized before. Not before...not before Prime’s ship.”
“I better get used to it.” Catra closes her eyes. “I think I have a whole apology tour to make.”
Adora hums. “But you can just start with one.”
Catra flicks her ear towards her girlfriend. “That the way it’s gonna be? Just one at a time?”
“How do you think I made it through, while you were gone and we were at war? Just one day at a time. It’s all you can do sometimes. If you try to look at it all at once, it’s too big and you feel like you’re gonna drown. I still did sometimes anyway, but I tried to just do it one day at a time.”
Catra focuses her attention on Adora. She looks sad. Catra knows she put some of that sadness there. How much less weight would Adora have carried, if Catra had gone with her after Thaymor?
“Okay,” Catra says, sitting up. “One at a time. Does it...does it get easier?”
Adora smiles. “During the war I don’t think I could have answered you, but now? Every day. Every day is just a little bit easier. Maybe someday…” She trails off.
“Maybe someday what?”
Adora blushes. “I don’t know. Maybe someday, we can live like other people do. Just...be happy.” She looks away. “It’s probably stupid. I’ll always be She-Ra.”
Catra walks over to her, bends down and kisses her on the cheek. “It’s not stupid. I wanna be happy with you too.”
Adora pulls her close for another kiss, a real one this time. When she pulls back, she’s smiling. “So then...Scorpia?”
Catra straightens up and rubs her eyes. “Yeah. Scorpia.” She pauses. “Will you still be here when I get back?”
Adora scrunches her brow. “You don’t want me to come with you?”
Catra shakes her head. “I owe it to Scorpia to have this conversation alone. But maybe you could walk with me?”
Secretly, Catra knows that if Adora walks with her she can’t chicken out and bolt. But her company will be nice too. Adora stands up and takes her hand.
“Every time.”
When Catra and Adora find Scorpia, she’s out in the gardens with Perfuma. From the looks of it, Perfuma is teaching Scorpia to very carefully use her claws to trim rose bushes. It’s a funny sight. Catra couldn’t imagine it ever happening in the Horde.
“Oh dangit!” Scorpia cries, accidentally snipping a rose off the bush. “I cut that one right off!”
“It’s okay Scorpia,” Perfuma says with a giggle, picking up the rose and tucking it gently into Scorpia’s hair. “Look how nice it looks there.”
Scorpia blushes. “Well, I, that is—”
Interesting, Catra thinks, filing away that information for later. She decides to take pity on the other woman and forces herself to start the conversation.
“Hey, Scorpia!” she calls.
“Wildcat!” Scorpia yells, jumping and spinning around towards her. “I haven’t seen you all week!”
Technically, this is because Catra has been avoiding her. But she knows better than to say that.
“I’ve been busy. You know, lots going on right now.” Yeah. A lot. Like Catra hiding in her and Adora’s room all day, only occasionally being pulled out by Adora, Bow, or Glimmer.
Scorpia nods. “Sure, sure. But it’s good to see you!”
Catra takes in a deep breath. Scorpia seems genuinely happy to see her. Catra could just let it all go, water under the bridge. Catra glances at Adora. No . She’s trying to be better than that, and Scorpia herself deserves better. She always did, and that’s why Catra has to talk to her.
“I was kinda hoping to talk to you actually,” Catra says, tail swishing. “You know, um. One-on-one.”
Scorpia grins. “Just like the old days, eh? I knew you’d missed me, even if you never said it.”
That’s true, actually, although Catra thinks it’s probably more Scorpia’s eternal optimism than her questionable perceptive abilities leading her to that conclusion.
“I suppose I can let my gardening assistant go for a few minutes,” Perfuma says, smiling while Scorpia blushes. “It’s nice to see you, Catra.”
“You too, Perfuma.” Catra gives her a smile and tries to make it genuine. “Thanks for um, taking Scorpia in. Adora told me you were really her first friend when she came here from the Horde.”
Perfuma smiles. “She has a good heart. I mean, just look at how much all the plants like her! They can tell, you know.”
Catra thinks about how the few plants in the Fright Zone always seemed to shrink away from Shadow Weaver and her darkness. Maybe they can tell. She’s heard crazier things.
“Maybe you can help me while Catra talks to Scorpia?” Perfuma asks Adora. “You and I have never spent much time together!”
Adora laughs awkwardly. “Yes. Plants. I know lots of things about them and can definitely help you. No problem.” She wipes a bead of sweat off her forehead. “I can be very helpful.”
Perfuma puts a gentle hand on her arm. “I’m sure you can. But this time, I won’t be expecting the She-Ra to do all the work. I’ll just show you some of the basics.”
Adora visibly relaxes. “Great. Um, we’ll get started now, I guess.” She nudges Catra. “You enjoy your talk!”
Catra snorts. Adora’s version of subtlety has always been something of a brick to the face. She turns to Scorpia. “Uh, wanna take a walk?”
“I’d love to!” Scorpia claps her pincers together. “Where to?”
“Um.” Catra hadn’t thought this far in advance. What happened to the brilliant strategist she was when she was running the Horde? Tripped up trying to talk to someone who is already being nice to her? Hastily, she considers her options. “Towards the forest?”
“Sounds good. You know, it’s pretty funny,” Scorpia says as they start walking. Catra raises an eyebrow, and Scorpia turns towards her a little bit, slowing down but not stopping. “Taking a nice relaxing walk in the Whispering Woods. It was our nightmare in the Horde, you know? Forest full of terrors and stuff.”
Catra huffs a little laugh, mostly bitter but a little real. “Yeah. That is funny.”
Scorpia goes wide-eyed. “ You think that’s funny?”
Is this a trap? “Yes?” Catra replies, half a question.
Scorpia reddens a bit, shifting awkwardly. “It’s just uh. You weren’t known for having much of a sense of humor. You know, back in the Horde.”
They reach a clearing and Catra gestures for them to sit down. “Yeah. I mean, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Your sense of humor?”
“No!” Catra runs a hand down her face. “No. What I was like back in the Horde.”
Scorpia looks away. “Wildcat…”
Catra forces herself to reach out and touch Scorpia on the shoulder. Scorpia has always been a tactile person, and this is about her, not Catra’s hang-ups.
“I know you hugged me after Prime and made it seem like everything was good. But I...I really hurt you Scorpira. I hurt a lot of people, and I’m trying to be better than that. And you deserve an explanation...and an apology.” Catra grimaces. “I’m really new at this whole apology thing, so uh, I hope it’s okay.”
Scorpia turns back towards her, and there’s some worry in her eyes but she has a faint smile too. “Perfuma tells me I tend to try to bury all the bad things and just pretend they’re not going on. And she says that’s not a good thing like I always thought it was. So I guess it’s a good thing for me to talk about this too.”
“There was a lot of bad,” Catra says, guilt settling in her chest. “And a lot of the bad I did to you. You called me a bad friend and you were right.”
Scorpia frowns. “It was really hard for me to do that. I didn’t want to hurt you but…” She sighs. “I didn’t want to leave without an explanation either.”
“I needed to hear it.” Catra draws her legs to her chest and wraps her arms around them. “I’m...I’m trying to be honest now, so I’ll tell you: it did hurt me. Actually, besides Adora leaving, it was probably what hurt me most.” Scorpia opens her mouth and Catra is sure there’s an apology on her lips so she rushes on. " But I needed to hear it. I did, Scorpia. I think it’s what started me on the path to um, redemption. Because I always blamed everyone leaving me on them, and I never looked at some of the things I was doing.”
Catra pauses, biting her lip. “I was a really bad friend to you. Honestly, I’m not sure I was ever your friend at all, even though you were mine. I used you, I belittled you, I pushed you away whenever you tried to connect. And…” This is the hardest part. The most awkward, and the most shameful. “...and I knew you had feelings for me, and I used that too.”
Scorpia has turned red, but she hasn’t turned away. “You did?” she gasps.
Catra rests her forehead on her knees. “It was kinda obvious. And at the time I just saw it as proof that you wouldn’t leave me, no matter what I did. It’s kind of fucked up, but I saw you as someone I could count on...but only because I had a hold on you. Scorpia, I’m so, so sorry. You deserved so much better than that.”
Catra risks a glance at her and Scorpia is looking up at the sky. After a moment, she starts speaking. “Perfuma has been telling me that too. That I deserve better than the way people have treated me. I always thought I was just being a good friend, but actually I was just letting people put me down. Letting you put me down. It’s...it’s a little hard not to feel guilty about letting people do that for so long.”
“Scorpia, no,” Catra gasps, and this time when she puts a hand on her shoulder she isn’t thinking about it at all. “This was never your fault, not ever, and I’m sorry I took advantage of you. I’m sorry the Horde did. They always trained all of us that we didn’t matter and I think you really took that in. It’s not...it’s not right, and it’s not your fault.”
Scorpia turns towards her, teary-eyed, and rests a claw on top of Catra’s hand. “It’s not?”
“No,” Catra says vehemently. “It’s mine, and Hordak’s, and Shadow Weaver’s, and every other horrible person in that place, but it’s not yours.”
Scorpia sniffles, and then stops. “Wildcat...do you still think you’re a horrible person?”
Catra’s ears flatten against her head. “I was. I don’t think either of us can deny that. I...Adora says I’m not anymore.”
“Perfuma wouldn’t let me get away with that. So I guess I won’t let you do it either. What do you think?”
This stops Catra dead. She spends a lot of time trying to not think about what kind of person she is. It never leads anywhere good.
“I...I’m trying. I don’t know. I don’t want to be the person I was anymore. I want to be better. But it’s just...I don’t know if I can ever be good. Adora’s good, she’s always been the good one. I was always the one making trouble or ready to scratch someone. It just might not be in me.”
Scorpia nudges Catra with her shoulder, and Catra jumps a little in surprise. “Weren’t you just telling me how bad the Horde got in my head?” she asks. “I think they got in yours too. It wasn’t all bad with you, Wildcat. Not in the beginning.”
“It...wasn’t?” All Catra can think about is the myriad ways she’d mistreated Scorpia.
“Well sure,” Scorpia says. “We had fun getting ready for Princess Prom, and that one time in the North you let me share the blanket. You always pushed me away, you’re right, but I think there were times you at least wanted to be a friend. Remember all those times we had in the Crimson Waste? Maybe it’s better we didn’t stay there, because everything worked out pretty well in the end, but we were happy there. Or at least, I was, and I thought you were too.”
Now Catra is remembering. The good memories, buried by guilt, are surfacing. They’re bittersweet because she was doing everything for the wrong reason, and she treated Scorpia awfully not too long after , but they’re not as bad. She wasn’t as bad.
“I was happy,” Catra confirms. “In the Crimson Waste, I mean. I couldn’t stay happy, because I was obsessed with Adora and obsessed with winning, but I was happy. I’m glad you were too.”
“Honestly, when it really got bad was…” Scorpia pauses. “After the portal. After Entrapta, and everything.”
“That was the biggest mistake I ever made. I should have never made you betray Entrapta like that, or do any of it. I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”
For someone that hates apologies, Catra can’t seem to stop saying them. She’s surprised to find she means every one. She’s even more surprised to find that each one takes a tiny bit of weight off her shoulders.
Scorpia hums. “Thanks. I mean it. But we don’t have to focus on this bad stuff, do we? I’d like to try being your friend, for real this time. I love—I mean, I really like being with Perfuma, but she hasn’t known me that long. It’d be nice to be friends with someone who was there in the old days. And I really did always like you. I still do.” Scorpia, already blushing when speaking about Perfuma, suddenly blushes deeper. “But not the same way! Not the um, the crush way anymore. Just as a friend. Friends. Yup.”
Catra laughs, surprised and relieved. “I get what you’re saying. I’d like to be your friend too.” She offers a hand out, unable to believe what she’s about to say. “Super pals?”
Scorpia gasps. “The Super Pal Trio! You actually remembered it! Oh, we have to get Entrapta in on this. But yes, yes, friends!” She clasps Catra’s hand between her two claws. “We’re really going to be friends now.”
Without warning, Scorpia scoops Catra up into a hug. Catra forces herself to relax and not fight it off this time, even bringing up a hand to awkwardly pat her on the shoulder. “Friends,” she squeezes out. “Scorpia…”
“Sorry, sorry!” Scorpia dithers, dropping her. “Ten foot radius, I forgot.”
“It doesn’t have to be ten feet anymore,” Catra replies, brushing down her tail, which had puffed up. “But a little warning would be nice.”
Scorpia beams. “Sure. Think we should get back to the others?”
Catra stands up. “Definitely.”
The walk back is easier than the walk there, and seems to go faster. Scorpia chatters away happily, and Catra nods and smiles and occasionally even jumps in with something to say herself.
The sight that greets her when they get back to Adora and Perfuma is...something. Adora is covered in dirt, and fighting off what appears to be a giant vine. Perfuma is running around waving her hands around it, probably trying to use her magic to get it under control, but all that’s happening is the vine is occasionally popping up with some truly fluorescent flowers.
“What's going on you guys?!” Scorpia exclaims.
“It appears that teaching the She-Ra some growing magic even when she isn’t transformed made the plants a little uh, enthusiastic!” Perfuma calls back. “I didn’t expect the magics to interact this way!”
“It’s all fine,” Adora yells, tripping over a vine and stumbling. “All under control!”
“I can see that,” Catra drawls. “Want any help?”
Perfuma looks a little panicked. “What kind of help? You and Scorpia have...claws and pincers…”
“Yeah, that’s great for cutting plants!” Scorpia says, and Catra nods.
“We don’t want to kill it,” Perfuma wails. “Please tell me you have some other idea.”
“Well…” Catra hedges, thinking. “Plants need sun, right? Maybe this one has too much magic and sun. Can you grow something big to cast shade over it?”
Perfuma looks shocked. “Why didn’t I think of that?” she cries, shaking her head. “Catra, you’re a genius!”
“That’s what I always say!” Scorpia adds, looking proud. Catra flushes in embarrassment as Adora shoots her a smirk, but then laughs when Adora’s moment of inattention results in the vine smacking her right in the face.
“Adora, get clear!” Perfuma shouts. Adora dives aside, and Perfuma raises her arms and enormous, very dense bushes pop up around the vine. There’s some rustling, and then everything finally comes to a stop.
Catra strolls over to Adora and Perfuma, who are standing together, panting slightly. “I leave you two alone for fifteen minutes…”
Adora rolls her eyes, shoving her with one hand. “Like you would have done any better.”
“I seem to remember I was the one who figured it out just now,” Catra smirks. “And I don’t have weird princess magic to mess it up in the first place.”
“When she’s right, she’s right,” Scorpia says, and Catra shoots her a grin.
“Oh, I am going to regret getting you two to be friends again,” Adora groans. “You’ll be ganging up on everyone.”
Catra makes an innocent face, eyes big and lips pouting. “Never.”
“So, your talk went well?” Perfuma asks, smiling.
“It did,” Scorpia replies. “It really really did. Super pals are back in action!”
Perfuma hugs her and Scorpia blushes again. “I’m so glad you’re repairing your old relationships!” Perfuma says. “It can really be a solid foundation for building new ones.” Now for some reason, Perfuma is blushing. Huh.
Adora comes to stand by Catra. “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I really need a shower. I’m pretty sure Glimmer is going to yell at me for tracking dirt all over the palace.”
Perfuma laughs. “We’ll vouch for you. It was nice to see you!”
Adora grins. “Maybe next time we’ll actually have a peaceful gardening session.”
Catra knocks a shoulder against her, and then immediately regrets it as it gets dirt on her. “You and calm don’t really go together, dummy.”
Scorpia laughs. “Good one, Wildcat! We’ll see you later?” Catra doesn’t miss how she still sounds a little unsure on the last part.
“Definitely,” she replies, giving her most sincere smile. “Maybe dinner sometime this week?”
“You’re on!” Scorpia cheers. “And no more ration bars!”
While they’re walking back, Adora turns to Catra a little and slows down. “So, it really did go well?”
Catra smiles. “Yeah. It really did. Thanks for um, pushing me to do it. I think Scorpia and I are really gonna get a second chance.”
Adora beams. “That’s great!”
They walk in silence for a while. But finally Catra gets up the courage to ask: “Hey, Adora? The way Scorpia forgave me and stuff. Do you think the other princesses would too?”
Adora turns to face her, stopping and smiling gently. “I think they would if you were willing to try.”
Catra swallows. “Then I’ll try. One day at a time, just like you said. I’ve kind of been hiding from everyone...but maybe I could actually do something good. Like all the stuff you’re doing.”
“If I wasn’t covered in dirt, I’d hug you,” Adora says. “I love you so much, and you’re trying so hard. We can get started, first thing tomorrow.”
“I love you too,” Catra replies. “And tomorrow sounds good.”
The rest of the walk is quiet and calm. When they get back, Adora gets in the shower. Catra starts looking at Adora’s notes, the ones she told herself she didn’t care about. Some of the things are good ideas, others need work. Catra can work with this. She can maybe even pull Scorpia and Entrapta in, use the skills they utilized in the Horde for something good.
Catra has a fresh start, with Scorpia and Entrapta, and with the Rebellion. It’s time to stop hiding and take it. Tomorrow, the real work begins.