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Swapsies

Summary:

On the morning of Allison’s wedding: Vanya, Klaus (and Ben) prepare for the ceremony. The living siblings are jealous of each other’s outfits, longing to be their true gender non conforming selves. Vanya is struggling with her intense anxiety and low self esteem - leading Ben to ask Klaus to pass on a message.

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“Ugh,” Klaus groaned, looking at his little sister “I wish we could swap.” He pouted as he admired the powder blue dress Vanya was looking unbelievably uncomfortable in. If there hadn’t been an entire foot between their height, he would’ve genuinley made her do swapsies. Klaus felt like Vanya still had the habit of bowing her head to hide behind her bangs, even though she hadn’t had them for years.

It would be so nice to be wearing a pantsuit like Klaus’, Vanya thought... though she’d probably prefer a tux like her other brothers. She felt like she wanted to run and hide, even though Klaus was the only other person in the room. How would she cope with hundreds of people? “Remember when you used to beg me for my skirt when we were kids?” Vanya reminisced with a shy smirk, sitting down on the seat opposite her brother. Vanya still felt rather on edge around Klaus, like he was suddenly going to do something bizarre. She gulped to herself nervously, looking away from her brother’s gaze. Why did she feel so guilty for being nervous around him?

“Oh please,” Klaus rolled his eyes theatrically “you begged me for my shorts.” he scoffed. They’d actually tried to swap once, when they were tiny. Dad wasn’t impressed, to say the least. Old fashioned bastard, Klaus thought to himself. Ben was perched on the vanity between his siblings, grinning nostalgically. Vanya was so tiny, Klaus couldn’t see her face because of Ben’s damn knee. He swatted at his brother’s leg, scowling in his direction. Ben raised an unimpressed eyebrow and jumped down, propping himself against the arm of Klaus’ chair instead. “A fly...” Klaus awkwardly lied when he noticed Vanya’s disturbed expression.

The closer it got to the ceremony, the more anxious Vanya felt. She’d already taken as many of her pills as she was allowed. “I’m... scared.” she admitted shyly, looking down at her bare feet. She couldn’t bring herself to put on the monstrous heels until absolutely necessary. Vanya felt like she was putting on a costume, and she was going to be the only person wearing one. She felt like all eyes would be judging her, yet she was going to be invisible all at once. Vanya thought she never should’ve agreed to attend. Maybe she could hide out somewhere, pretend she got sick. It was likely that no one would even notice her absence.

“Don’t worry, I killed it.” Klaus comforted her, genuinley thinking she was scared of the fly he’d definitely hallucinated. He looked up to his side, giving the air an irritated gaze for a moment before gasping in recognition. “Oh...” Klaus drawled, eyes grown wide. “It’ll be okay, Van.” her brother smiled gently, looking half asleep. “Everyone will be looking at Allison anyway.” he mumbled, sticking a cigarette in his mouth. Vanya shot him a look of disbelief, shuffling her chair away from him. She would be mortified to make a scene, even if she wasn’t the one causing trouble.

“This place is fancy...” she explained, nervously glancing at the cigarette he was in the process of lighting. Klaus shrugged nonchalantly. Vanya knew she could never win an argument with her siblings, she decided to just leave it. No one ever listened to her anyway. “I’m still nervous, I don’t think anyone even knows she has a sister...” Vanya mumbled, picking at the blue manicure she’d been forced to get.

Ben sympathetically frowned down at his sister, he wished he could help her. Klaus wasn’t usually very good at comforting people, he’d never take things seriously enough. “If you feel like you’re getting too much attention,” Klaus murmured, looking longingly at Vanya’s discarded heels. “call me over and I’ll come be a big old attention whore.” he glanced back up to his sister and winked. Ben was actually rather impressed, that was a pretty good idea. Maybe Klaus wasn’t as useless as he wanted people to think he was. His brother blew smoke from the side of his mouth to avoid Vanya crinkling her nose. Klaus reached into his pocket and rummaged for a moment. “Here.” he smiled dopily, handing her his flask with his free hand. Ben pursed his lips in irritation, why was that Klaus’ solution to everything.

Vanya glanced down to the flask in her brother’s hand, considering for a moment whether this was a wise idea. Eventually, she lightly shrugged her shoulders and took it from him with a minute grin. “Thanks...” she muttered quietly before she took a sip. Vanya grimaced as she gulped, promptly handing it back over to her brother. Klaus wheezed, taking it back and chugging from it. “That tastes like furniture polish.” she spluttered amusedly, raising her eyebrows in disbelief. “Do you have a habit of drinking furniture polish?” Klaus teased as he slipped the flask back into his pocket. Vanya rolled her eyes at her brother with a slight chuckle. She glanced back down to her feet, feeling uncomfortable with letting her guard down slightly.

Glancing over to the fancy little clock resting on the vanity, Vanya felt herself begin to grow more panicked. It was getting closer to the ceremony. “I can’t do this.” she blurted, biting down on her lip to try and stop herself from crying - that would be utterly humiliating around one of her siblings. She longed to just disappear into thin air.

Klaus froze in place, struggling to know how to react, ash fell from his cigarette and singed his shirt. Ben sighed from his side, making his way over to crouch down in front of their sister. It almost gave Klaus goosebumps, knowing how much Vanya missed Ben and vice versa - the fact that she would never know how close she was to him. Ben looked over his shoulder to glare at Klaus “Help her, you dick.” he groaned, looking highly irritated. Klaus popped up from his chair and awkwardly stumbled over to his sister. He would’ve obnoxiously sat across her knee to make her giggle, but she was so tiny - he’d squish her. Instead, he propped himself up on the edge of the vanity to her side. He stubbed his cigarette out on it with a giggle, causing frustrated glares from both siblings. Ben shook his head and offered Klaus a glum smile “Tell her-“

”-it’ll be okay, I promise. You look beautiful...” Vanya’s brother looked from her and intensely to the floor by her feet “...even though I know it’s so not your style.” Klaus giggled, kicking at the floor playfully. He cleared his throat, looking back to Vanya with a lazy grin. “You’re here because you belong here, with us.” Klaus glanced back down to the floor by her feet, looking quite morose. “You’re our sister, and we... love you.” Vanya waited for a few moments, unsure if her brother was finished. She couldn’t bring herself to look up at him. There were tears gently slipping from her eyes. Vanya wasn’t sure how to react, she was more confused than anything. She wasn’t sure if Klaus had ever said something so profound to her (or anyone), it was so out of character. She was staggered that any of her remaining siblings would say such a thing... “Thanks.” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

”Thank you.” Ben wistfully grinned at his brother, grateful his message had been passed on, even if Klaus had decided to throw in a fashion comment. Though Ben supposed he was correct in what he’d said. Klaus sheepishly smiled back at him, knowing he couldn’t respond. He looked incredibly uncomfortable at the display of affection, even if they weren’t his words. “You gonna be okay?” Klaus softly inquired as he pushed himself off the vanity, peering down at their tiny, downtrodden sister. “I need to go, uh...” he scratched the back of his head, glancing over to the door “do something.” Vanya nodded timidly, forcing a smirk across her face. Ben hovered his hand just above his sisters, trying to trick himself into believing they were truly holding hands. He missed her so deeply it almost brought tears to his eyes - even though that was literally impossible.