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Min Yoongi had an eye and an ear for beautiful things.  Give him something worth watching or hearing and he picked it apart until he found the source, the thing that made it stand out just a little bit more than everything else.  He collected those little bits of beauty, stored them inside of himself and would pull them out when he needed to tuck something a little bit extra into a song or a moment.

The coffee shop was on the way home, he had passed by it often enough, never bothering to stop when there was a perfectly good coffee shop in the lobby of their new building and an almost as good coffee maker at home, but Yoongi had spent the last three days at the office, the last day he might not have left his studio at all.  Making the 30 minute drive in rush hour to his apartment was entirely too daunting without fortification, he wanted something strong and cold.  

The fates were blessing him today as a parking spot was waiting for him in front of the shop, he didn’t think he had ever seen an open spot on this street before.  Stepping from his car he felt every inch the tired that the past few weeks had pushed onto him.  It was worth it though, the last track was done, finally sounding the way he wanted.  Yoongi had coaxed beats and tamed vocals until they had twisted into what he knew he had wanted to convey.  Or at least until Namjoon had finally put his foot down and told him it was done.  Namjoon was his best friend first and business partner second, but he was more importantly the only person Yoongi trusted to say when something was done and mean it.

The coffee shop was nice, not a major chain, but a well kept independent place and he figured if the coffee was good enough he would come back given that it was on his way home.  Hobi would be telling him to post something on his Instagram, tag his location, give a shout out.  The day you caught Min Yoongi posting an artfully made latte on his feed was the day he lit all his vinyls on fire.   

Waiting by the counter for his drink he caught sight of the boy sitting alone at a table meant for four, pretty was his first thought, frowning down at a laptop that had seen better days.  There was a large backpack tucked under his seat and a duffel bag on the chair next to him.  An uncomfortable memory snuck up on Yoongi, his first few weeks in Seoul he had looked like that, all of his belongings kept close in hand.  Those weeks between summer ending and the fall semester starting had been hard.  The dorms hadn’t been ready and he had left home, assuring his parents that he had friends to stay with and a job waiting for him.

Neither had been the truth but back then his relationship with his parents had been strained.  Back to back revelations of his sexuality and his choice to pursue a music degree had led to difficult conversations about why it was okay to like men and women and there was no way he was getting a degree in anything less than something he loved to do.  Yoongi had loved music and no less than a life filled with performing and production would suffice.  Yoongi still loved music, he perhaps had not anticipated how much else went into making music a successful career, but he was still grateful every day that he had followed his dream.

Yoongi was also grateful that he had taken his advisor's suggestion to get a business minor, what point was it to create something and try to make a living off of it if people around you took advantage of you.  Namjoon had also taken minors, two of them the overachiever that he was, in philosophy and psychology, alongside his music major.  Between the two of them they had left college with a toolbox full and ready to tackle the industry.

They had busted their ass, literally and figuratively, starving some days and flush the next.  Everything they made they put right back into their label until they had finally struck gold.  Jung Hoseok had been a music minor, dance major, and their paths had reconnected after Hobi had come into a small inheritance.  He had wanted to cut a demo, something small, something that reflected his blend of hip hop and smooth as fuck vocals.  Yoongi had personally thought he should focus more on vocals, but Hobi didn’t have the patience for it, prefered to lay down vocal tracks as an accompaniment so he could dance and rap freely on stage.

Hobi’s solo track had been a smash hit.  The demo had morphed into a full album release and they had finally put Cypher on the map.  After a night out celebrating, and a lot of tears on Hobi’s part, Cypher officially signed their third partner.  When Yoongi and Namjoon had proposed the idea Hobi had been understandably surprised, Cypher was precious to both Yoongi and Namjoon, everyone knew how protective they were of every aspect, from the artists they considered working with to their open conversations about their sexuality and talking about mental health in the music they made or promoted. Not every artist wanted to tackle heavy topics though, not everyone wanted to spit fire on the state of the world and their place in it.  There were people who wanted to celebrate love and life and express their joy and gratitude in what the world had handed them.

Yoongi certainly understood that, could lay tracks for that, but he wasn’t the best at selling it.  He definitely didn’t know how to appeal to a mass market that wanted meaningful lyrics and a great dance choreo.  That was the hole that they wanted Hobi to fill in between work on his own music, and when they had offered him an equal partnership, there had been a lot of screaming and a lot of tears.

Hobi still put out music, performed when the mood struck him, but in the past 5 years he had found his place in the music and dance studios.  The more time Hobi spent with the artists that wanted to jump around on stage, the better it was for Yoongi, and that included their newest artist.

Jeon Jeongguk was going to be a star, like a star star.  The kid could sing and dance and wasn’t too bad at rapping.  He had an open and honest face that Yoongi knew would sell cans of tea and sweatshirts.  His work ethic was bordering on concerning, and coming from workaholic Yoongi, that was saying something.  The fact that he had not been scooped up by one of the major idol companies had been a shock after the boy had auditioned with the three of them.  

Yoongi had been the one to ask why he hadn’t in fact been picked up by one of the major labels.  ‘I’m gay,’ he had told them, Hobi had dropped the pen he had been twirling in his hand. ‘And I don’t want to lie about it.  They told me that wasn’t allowed and that I would have to live a certain way if I wanted to make music.’

Yoongi had scoffed, of course they had told them that.  The boy had looked at the three of them with wide eyes, shoulders tight, and Yoongi had known he was waiting for their rejection.  

Looking the kid directly in the eye Namjoon had told him, ‘The only way anyone should ever live is by being honest.’  Hobi had nodded and tapped the table once, Yoongi had quickly done the same.  The code was simple: one tap for yes, two for no.  They usually left the words to Namjoon, or sometimes Hoseok would deliver it, it was rare for Yoongi though. He was too blunt for the no and too ambivalent for the yes.  For this boy though he thought he might have mustered up some real enthusiasm, he had known even then the kid was special.  ‘We would only ever want you to be true to yourself and honest in your music.’  Namjoon had assured him.

Yoongi hadn’t thought the kid could get his eyes wider.

Namjoon had smiled, his own dimples out in full force, ‘We would love it if you joined us here at Cypher and we would consider it a privilege to help you make music that is true to who you are.’

There were predictably a lot of tears, Hoseok had wrapped the kid up and they had bawled together, even Namjoom had gotten a little teary.  Yoongi had called them both idiots but he had ruffled the kids hair and given him a wide grin, which all things considered was a lot coming from him.

So the work leading up to Jeongguk’s debut had been grueling, the kid was a perfectionist, and pushed way too hard and maybe even too fast.  There was a lot riding on his shoulders, they all knew that, his debut wouldn’t break the company financially, that wasn’t it.  If the debut failed then everything that Jeongguk represented would be a failure, an openly gay male, who struggled with anxiety and talked plainly about both in his music.  The album wasn’t all heavy and life altering, there were several tracks that would kill if picked up for an OST.  That decision had also been deliberate, they had spent hours trying to find the right mix of commercial and unique, and Jeongguk had been very adamant that there be songs people could dance to as much as they could cry to.  No decision was made that didn’t have his full support and opinion.  

Finally the album was done, the tracks were laid, and Jeongguk was off to Hoseok for final preparations for his debut.  Yoongi could finally see the world outside his studio and maybe sleep in his bed more than three nights a week.  Now instead of going home and sleeping for the next 48 hours he was asking the barista for an extra espresso shot in his Iced Americano and eyeing the table to his left. 

The boy at the laptop was frowning even harder at the screen, Yoongi couldn’t help but notice the small cup of coffee on the table and a standard cup of complementary water.  His heart squeezed uncomfortably in his chest.  He didn’t know the kid, but he knew what that meant, buying as little as one could so they could stay inside for as many hours as one cup of coffee would buy.  Yoongi would bet the royalties from his last gold record that the kid would be sleeping outside tonight.

After his name was called and he fiddled with the lid no cream, no sugar, he hesitated before sitting at the table closest to the other’s table, taking the chair facing him.  There was no reason for him to be here, he was exhausted, he was in the same pair of black jeans and black shirt he had changed into yesterday, the ones he kept in his office when  working hours turned into days, he didn’t need to be sitting in a coffee shop, drinking admittedly good coffee worrying over a potentially homeless boy he didn’t even know.

Yoongi didn’t need to be doing any of that, but he did, pulling out his phone and scrolling absently through Twitter.  He refused to look at anything related to the label or their artists, mainly checking up on the dismal state of the world until that got depressing enough he switched over to Instagram.  Yoongi followed several photographers, a hobby of his, the odd food blog, and a bunch of tattoo artists.  After he had gotten his first tattoo, a tiny seesaw on his shoulder blade, he had gotten hooked.  Yoongi might have stopped counting after 30, but he figured it was money better spent than the loads Namjoon has dropped on KAWS toys.

There had been a moment as Yoongi was taking a drink and the kid was closing his laptop that their eyes had met and Yoongi had done his best not to choke on his drink.  In that moment he had reassessed his initial descriptor of cute into beautiful, possibly the most beautiful person Yoongi has seen in person, and he worked with beautiful people on the daily.  Yoongi knew he was good looking, hot if he tried, he played to his strengths and made the resting bitch face work for him. He knew how to play up his features with makeup and jewelry and he would admit that a lot of what made him attractive was his attitude.  This kid though, with his dark hair, tips hinting at green, and honey warmed skin, was stunning.  

Whatever trouble he was in, with no place to go, he would be ruined within a week looking like that.  Yoongi knew what happened on the streets, what could happen,  it had almost happened to him.  Not by force thankfully, he knew there were kids who were forced to do things they didn’t want to, but Yoongi had been hungry enough he had thought about what he wouldn’t do for enough to buy a meal and that list had been short.

The part of Yoongi that wanted to help the kid was being pushed away by the part that reminded him that it was none of his business, not his problem, and what could he really do anyway.  How would he even start.

His mouth apparently knew before he did.

‘Kumamon is my favorite,’ Yoongi pointed the hand holding his iced coffee to the bear sticker on top of the closed laptop.  The kid looked down at the sticker then back at Yoongi and grinned.  The smile was nothing like Yoongi had ever experienced, the smile was an experience, wide and boxy, his eyes squinting shut, Yoongi felt the metaphorical breath knocked out of him.  

He knew and accepted that he was royally fucked.

Everything kind of got away from Yoongi after that, the kid, Kim Taehyung, could talk, had a tendency to ramble and not one to talk much Yoongi had been happy to let him do it.  The Daegu Satoori, Taehyung was too new to Seoul to know he needed to hide it, had reminded Yoongi so strongly of home that his own words had slipped into the familiar drawl.  Taehyung had been thrilled, fate he had called it, long fingers playing with the red strings on his wrist.  Yoongi had been unable to tear his eyes away, he could feel it taking over him, that drive to know the beauty to find what made it more, made it better, and Taehyung was so, so beautiful.

A half hour passed, then an hour, Yoongi bought another coffee and a plateful of pastries and sandwiches for them to split, he had not been surprised in the least that the small cup Taehyung had been nursing had been hot chocolate.  Taehyung had tried to refuse, had tried to hand off some crumbled up bills, but Yoongi had refused.  ‘I’m the Hyung, let me pay.’

With wide eyes Taehyung had only nodded, a quiet ‘thank you Hyung,’ sounding so uncertain, like Yoongi would take back the offer of food and Hyung.

Yoongi made a show of taking one of the pastries and a half of a sandwich before pushing the pile of food towards the younger.  Taehyung had opened his mouth, to protest Yoongi was certain, but the loud rumble of his stomach deferred any objections.  

As Taehyung began to eat Yoongi fiddled with his cup, he wished he could call Namjoon, he was the one who always had the right words.  Yoongi was too harsh, too brash, but then maybe the truth would be enough.  Namjoon and Hoseok had both struggled, stretching funds and missing an occasional meal, but neither of them had faced a night where there was nowhere to go.  That was something only Yoongi knew first hand, it had in fact been the reason he and Namjoon had become such good friends so fast.  After a rap battle in a piece of shit club in the worst part of downtown Namjoon had offered him his couch when their after show breakfast for dinner had turned into hours talking.

Yoongi had not been too proud to say no and when Namjoon, perceptive as always, had told him he was welcome to the couch for as long as he needed, Yoongi had gratefully said yes.  The two of them had diverted the funds allocated for room and board once the semester started and got a one bedroom apartment in a not too crappy neighborhood close enough to campus to make 8am classes bearable.  By mutual agreement the bedroom had been converted into a studio, they had spent a weekend soundproofing the walls and running cables and wires into their combined electronics.  When people visited they might have been curious about the two twin beds set up in the living room, but there were stranger things that kids on campus did.

They had done some of their best work in that bedroom studio.  All of Yoongi’s first mixtape had grown out of there, and almost all of Namjoon’s, who tended to take more time with his own work.  When they had moved into a bigger place their junior year Yoongi had been surprised by how much he was going to miss the place, he had never had a real sense of home, other than the places and feelings conjured up by music, but that apartment had been home.

‘You know when I first moved to Seoul, it was the summer before my freshman year, I had lied to my parents, told them that I had a place and a job lined up.’  Taehyung was staring at him, cheeks full with food, and Yoongi couldn’t help but smile, he was dangerously close to feeling fond.

Taehyung swallowed quickly, fingers immediately going to his wrist to fiddle with the bracelets there, ‘You lied to them?’

Yoongi nodded.

‘No job or place to stay?’  Voice dropped to almost a whisper, it was so full of emotion Yoongi felt like he was intruding.

‘No.’  Now his own voice was betraying the emotion in him.  ‘No, I slept on the streets for almost three weeks before a new friend gave me a couch to sleep on.’

‘Three weeks,’ and there were definite tears in Taehyung’s voice and eyes and before Yoongi could figure out what to say a loud boom of thunder had them both jumping, Yoongi turning in his seat to see the rain pouring outside.  There was no way Taehyung would find anywhere decent on a night like tonight, nothing that would keep himself safe and dry.

Yoongi had to find the words to make this right.

For the next hour Yoongi told Taehyung about Namjoon, and the rap battles and the couch with the mismatched pillows, about a kind hearted person, the best person he knew, who had offered him that couch for as long as he had needed it.  He had talked about difficult semesters and stressing over finals, about tracks that never came out right, how they had scraped and saved every penny until they had started their label.  There were the commercials they had written music for and ads that needed jingles, voice over work, and remixes, and sound cloud uploads, and youtube covers.  

Then Yoongi had pulled out his phone and showed Taehyung their wiki page, had let him read about Cypher and Hobi, and where their determination and drive had gotten them while he got them more drinks.

‘This is amazing Hyung, you did so well for yourself!’  The smile was no less devastating hours in and Yoongi had to fight his body's reaction to it.  Taehyung was still younger than him, desperate and alone, he certainly did not need Yoongi thinking those kinds of thoughts about him, not when he was so vulnerable.  But had their circumstances been different, had Yoongi met Taehyung at a club or a different cafe with books spread around him and not all of his personal belongings, Yoongi didn’t think he would care much at all about the age difference. 

‘Thank you Taehyung-ah.’  The endearment brought on a blush and Yoongi forced his eyes away.

The rain hadn’t let up, it was impossible to miss every time Taehyung stared out the window, his shoulders falling a little more each time.

‘Do you have a place to stay tonight Taehyung?’  Yoongi didn’t think sleep would be possible, not when the rain would push everyone inside, and there would be far less safe places to hide.

Taehyung instead had told him about going into the service after he had graduated and coming back to his grandparents farm, the community college he went to and the online courses he had taken while his grandmother had been sick. When she had passed Taehyung had taken time to grieve, but he had promised her that he would go to college, that he wouldn’t stop chasing his dreams even though he had stayed home when all his friends had gone on to school.  So Taehyung had applied for the upcoming fall semester, with grades and recommendations good enough to score admission and a partial scholarship.  Classes weren’t due to start for another month and a half, the middle of July was the worst time to be in Seoul, the congestion and heat were unforgiving and the city was overflowing with locals and tourists fighting for every available free space.  

Taehyung hadn’t wanted to go back to his parents house, they had their hands full with his younger siblings, and had gotten used to the idea that he could take care of himself.  ‘Honestly Hyung if I went home I’m not sure I would leave again.’   Especially now, and Yoongi understood that.  Taehyung had come to Seoul, the room he had been promised in a hostel given away to someone who could pay more, and the hours spent online had revealed no prospects the last three days.  The thought of Taehyung alone for even one night made Yoongi’s chest tighten in worry.

His story was so close to Yoongi’s he wondered at what the universe had in mind for the two of them.  Namjoon would scoff at the idea of fate, but as Yoongi eyed the red strings on Taehyung’s wrist, at the parking space that had been waiting for him, he wondered if maybe fate believed in them.  Stopping at this cafe, on this day, having this stolen moment with a boy who was as lost as he had been was something that Yoongi could not just call a coincidence.

‘I’ll be fine Hyung.’  It wasn’t an answer and it wasn’t convincing.

Yoongi sighed.  

‘Look, I’ve been where you are, literally.  I wouldn’t be where I am now though if I hadn’t taken a hand when it was offered to me.’  Taehyung looked up at him sharply, his eyes dark, and Yoongi noticed that they didn’t match one single the other a double, and still so, so beautiful.

‘And what are you offering me.’  Yoongi was momentarily taken aback by how rough the words were, he had noticed that Taehyung had a deep voice, deeper than his own probably, but this was something else entirely, he wondered if Taehyung sang and if he did what could Yoongi coax out of that register.

That was for another day, if they had one.  ‘A hand Taehyung-ah.  Let me help you.’  He had to be careful here.  ‘I have a couch you are welcome to crash on.  It’s just there, it’s a nice couch, a lot nicer than Joon-ah’s was.  I got it because it was comfortable, probably too big for the space, but it’s the kind of couch that you just sink into.’  And he just needed to shut up, he sounded like an Ikea ad.

When Taehyung only stared at him, he shrugged, ‘Or I can get you a room somewhere, something safe and clean until your classes start.’  He could more than afford a month or so rent at a hotel, they made real money now through their label and Yoongi had made use of his business minor.  The investments he had made with their initial rounds of royalties had more than returned on their investments.  Honestly Cypher could make and give away all their music for free based on what Yoongi had made for them.  So yes he could afford to buy Taehyung a room. 

Was it wrong that he wanted to have the boy take the couch.  Or not literally the couch because his apartment had three bedrooms and an office and there were literally rooms and bathrooms he had never used.  Was it wrong that he wanted to keep an eye on the kid, to make sure that wide and boxy smile didn’t have a reason to dim.  Yoongi knew it was ridiculous, he had just met Taehyung, he wasn’t responsible for him, they were nearly strangers, it wasn’t logical but Yoongi felt responsible for him and cared more than he should for having just met him.

Yoongi was loathe to rush him, Taehyung was tearing his napkin into very tiny, very precise pieces, stacking them one atop the other.  He didn’t want to interrupt his thinking and struggled for what else he could say to convince him to take the help.

‘The couch is really that nice?’  Taehyung looked up at him and then back down at the little pile of paper Yoongi so quickly he almost missed it.  

‘The nicest, it’s shaped like an L.’  Yoongi smiled and he knew it was the big one, the one Hobi called his gummy smile.

Nodding, Taehyung scooped up the stack of small squares and curled them in his fist, dropping the mess and the rest of the napkin onto the empty plate that sat between them.  

‘I like you Hyung, I know we just met, and maybe it’s stupid of me to trust you so quickly.  My Grandmother always said that I loved too big and too open, and I know she meant that in a good way.  But I do trust fast and fiercely and it doesn't always work out as well as I want it.’  The eyes that looked up and at Yoongi were so dark and so serious his breath caught in his throat.

‘Please don’t be one of those things that don’t work out well Hyung.’  Yoongi didn’t think he had ever been so impacted by someone else’s words.

‘I won’t Taehyung-ah, trust Hyung okay, we’ll be a team now.’  There were words coming out his mouth he didn’t remember agreeing to, but Yoongi knew they were the truth.  If Taehyung gave him even an ounce of trust he would treasure it, he would do everything he could to make sure nothing happened to him.

‘I think I would like to see the couch Hyung.’ Taehyung grinned, ‘I want us to be a team.’  Yoongi watched the hand extend across the table and he took it with a firm shake, they both jumped at the heavy peal of thunder and then Taehyung dissolved into laughter.

‘A sign from the gods I think,’ any other time Yoongi might have disagreed but not today, not after it felt like fate had brought him to this moment.

‘Let’s go Tae, before we have to swim home.’  The nickname had slipped out easily, the fatigue finally catching up to him.  Standing he was very aware of how many hours he had been awake and the memories and emotions stirred by the unexpected conversation left him even wearier.

Exhausted as he was Taehyung’s enthusiasm was its own sort of caffeine.  He was doing his best to sell himself as some sort of house boy from what Yoongi could unravel, he was talking faster and changing topics too quickly for his sleep deprived brain to pick up, but he certainly didn’t want him acting like some sort of housekeeper.

Later they would figure all that out.  Yoongi wanted to get home and get Taehyung settled and maybe have a beer and then pass the fuck out.  Shit did he even have anything to eat in the kitchen, he couldn’t remember the last time he had ordered groceries.  Pulling out his phone he quickly pulled up the app that he used for food deliveries.  As Taehyung cleared off the table and picked up his bags, Yoongi thumbed out an order, doubling up on the basics, and adding a couple of items that Taehyung had mentioned he liked in passing.  

‘Got everything?’ Yoongi glanced back at the table and Taehyung nodded.  

‘Are you sure about this Hyung?’  There were nerves in the question but there was excitement too, Taehyung wanted to believe Yoongi was sure about this, he wanted to believe in Yoongi and that tugged and pulled at everything inside of him.

‘Yes, Taehyung-ah, more sure than I’ve been about something in a really long time.’  Whatever Taehyung was looking for he must have found in Yoongi’s words and voice because his smile was bright and he was practically bouncing on his feet.

‘Awesome.’

The drive home was not the quiet ride Yoongi was used to, traffic had died down considerably given how long they had stayed talking at the coffee shop, but it went by even faster with the stream of questions, observations, and revelations from his passenger.  Taehyung literally said whatever came to his mind, at the exact moment it came to him, it was fascinating to Yoongi.  As someone who created with words he was selective with them when not in front of a microphone or mixing board.  

‘I talk a lot, Hyung, I’m sorry.’  The apology was unexpected, Yoongi risked a glance over.

‘There’s no reason to be sorry.  You’re not bothering me.’  Yoongi frowned at the implication.  ‘Has someone told you that you talk too much.’  The idea offended him.

Taehyung shrugged, ‘I was that kid in school, too loud, too weird.  Maybe if I had a filter I would have kept more friends.’

Yoongi snorted, ‘I don’t have a filter either.  If someone can’t accept you for who you are then they're not worth your time.’

‘And you made some good friends being yourself?’  Taehyung turned in his seat and looked over at Yoongi.

Yoongi thought of Namjoon and Hoseok and Jin-hyung, Hobi’s boyfriend.  Even Jeongguk would be someone Yoongi would consider a friend.

‘Yes, there aren't very many, but they’re mine.’

Taehyung grinned, poking Yoongi in the bicep, ‘And now you have me.’

‘And now I have you,’ Yoongi grinned in return.

Taehyung stood in the middle of the living room, turning in a circle as he took everything in.  Yoongi had thought his eyes couldn’t get any wider than they had when they had seen the lobby, but he had been wrong.

‘When you said you had money I believed you of course but I don’t think I really understood what you meant.  All of this is yours?’

Laughing Yoongi shrugged off the light jacket he had worn to work, even in the middle of summer he was prone to chills.  ‘It’s all mine, yes.  Come on I’ll give you the tour.’

From where they stood in the living room the dining room and kitchen were visible, Yoongi had liked the open floor plan.  All the appliances were top of the line, the cabinets white and the granite a cool grey.  The dining room table could seat 12 but he had only used it a handful of times and had never needed all the chairs.  He usually ate at the kitchen island.

‘Help yourself to anything in the kitchen.  I’ve got groceries being delivered soon.  You said you can cook right.’

Taehyung nodded in agreement.  ‘I’m not the best but I did most of the cooking for my Grandmother at the end.  She gave me all of her recipes.'

‘That’s a good thing to have.  We’ll have to make something soon.’  Yoongi also liked cooking, and thinks he might like making food, Daegu food, with Taehyung.

‘I would really like that Hyung.’  The silence stretched until it was almost uncomfortable, then Taehyung shifted the grip he had on his duffel bag.

‘Come on let me show you your room.’  He turned and headed down the hall.

Taehyung scrambled after him.  ‘Wait what room?’

Ignoring the question Yoongi pointed out the half bath and opened the door to his office, there was a wall full of bookcases along one wall, the shelves filled with books and manga he had collected over the years.  The opposite wall held even more bookcases but they were filled with music, cd’s and vinyls.  ‘Help yourself to any of the books in here.  I’ve read most of them.’

‘You’ve read all of these,’ Taehyung gawked at the rows of manga.

‘Most of them.  Found a lot of inspiration in them, solace.’  Taehyung nodded and Yoongi wondered what Taehyung did that soothed and inspired him.  He realized he wanted to know that and more, he wanted to know everything.

‘That’s so cool.’  

Next to the office was his bedroom, he opened the door and Taehyung peeked his head in.  There wasn’t much aside from a large bed, the duvet hastily pulled up before he had left three mornings ago, and several large framed prints.  Movie and venue posters that meant the most to him, that had followed him over the years from home to home.

The two doors across from the office and master were both guest rooms.  One housed boxes of awards he had never gotten around to displaying, extra recording equipment, and stacks of promotional items from Cypher’s artists.  ‘This room's a mess, sorry, I keep meaning to get around to it, but there are so many better ways to spend my free time.’

‘Hyung are those awards.’  Taehyung was pointing to an open box at the foot of the bed, a crystal statuette poking up.

‘Uh, yeah, the ones the company wins we house at the office and of course the artists keep theirs.’

Taehyung turned to him, shocked, ‘So those are yours?  Like ones you’ve won personally?’

Yoongi nodded, he could feel his cheeks turning red.

Taehyung looked like he was going to say something, but thought better of it.

‘There’s space in the living room and even in the office, but I just never got around to it.  Feels weird to have them out, like showing off.’  He didn’t know why he felt the need to explain himself.  Winning was great, Yoongi wasn’t so humble as to say that he wasn’t competitive as fuck actually, but having them out was not something he had ever felt the need to do.

‘Well maybe you should take them back to your office and put them up there.  It could be inspirational for someone else, you know to see what you’ve achieved, just by being yourself.’  Taehyung ran a finger over the tip of the crystal, Yoongi was once again taken in by how tan he was, how long his fingers were.  He would do well playing the piano, any instrument really, he had the hands for it.

‘That’s a great idea.’  And it was, Yoongi made a mental note to take them in the next time he worked.  He had made a promise to Namjoon not to show his face in the office for at least three days now that the tracks were done. There had been no way he would have lasted more than a day before, but now that Taehyung was here, he thought maybe being home wouldn’t be so bad.

The room next door was set up as a proper guest bedroom.  The bed was queen sized and there was a small desk and chair.  The tv was mounted over the dresser and there was a small walk-in closet next to the attached bathroom.

‘So this is your room.’  Yoongi walked over to the bed and smoothed out the dark blue duvet.  ‘There should be towels under the sink and extra toiletries.  There’s more of everything though in the closet at the end of the hall.’  Yoongi didn’t seem to be able to stop the rambling.

‘Hyung this is too much.’  Taehyung hadn’t stepped a foot past the entry, clearly overwhelmed.

Yoongi again felt his chest constrict, he needed to pick his words carefully.  ‘If I hadn’t stopped for coffee today this room would have still been here, sitting unoccupied, the shower unused and the dresser empty.  You saw my room, and I don’t have anyone else living with me, you are not taking anything I don't want to give, that I am not able to give.’  He hoped those were the right words.  

He understood pride and desperation, how they could war within you.  There was a need to provide for oneself and it was so very human, that inability to admit when you couldn’t.  Getting help didn’t mean you were weak, asking for help, accepting help was one of the strongest things someone could do.  It had taken Yoongi a long time and many conversations with Namjoon to figure that out.

‘Are you sure, the couch really looked comfortable.’

Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh, ‘I’m sure, just try it out for tonight.  If you’re still uncomfortable we can figure something else out tomorrow.’

That got Taehyung stepping into the room in a panic, ‘No it’s perfect, it’s more than perfect.  I swear.’  

Yoongi nodded, ‘Okay, well you take your time and unpack, take a shower, oh I think there’s a tub.’  He walked to the bathroom and flipped on the light.  Yoongi had a weakness for bathtubs, and sure enough next to the closed, glass door shower was a free standing soaking tub.

‘Oh my God.  Hyung, that’s a tub.  I haven’t soaked in a tub since I was little.  Are there bubbles?’

Yoongi wasn’t quite sure what to do with the admission or the question.

‘Uh, I think those are bath bombs.’  He pointed to the basket of products sitting on the vanity.  

‘That’s so cool.  I’ve never used one.’  Taehyung grinned over and Yoongi thought of how many he had stashed around his bathroom and fought back the embarrassment.

‘Well take a bath then if you’d like.  I’m going to clean up.’  Walking towards the door he turned when Taehyung called out to him.

‘Thank you Yoongi-hyung.’

The formal bow that Taehyung executed had Yoongi’s eyes widening in shock.

‘Tae-’

‘-I don’t know how we ended up with our paths crossing but I am so grateful for it, for this.’  Taehyung waved a hand around the room.

There was really nothing Yoongi could do but nod, he forced out a quiet, ‘Your welcome,’ through the emotion clogging up his throat and moved to leave, closing the door shut quietly behind him.

The hot shower and clean clothes burned away or at least pushed away most of the fatigue and he only spared his bed a passing glance on his way out of his bedroom.  In grey sweatpants and an oversized black hoodie he noted that the door across from him was still closed, he couldn’t hear any movement inside. He wondered if Taehyung had used one of the bath bombs, he hoped so.  

There was a notification blinking on the panel by the front door.  A message from the concierge informing him that his groceries had been delivered and would be available as soon as he would like.  Yoongi buzzed down for them to be brought up, it had taken some time to adjust to the luxuries that came with living somewhere so expensive.  Having someone onsite all day and night that would, within reason, make the little things in life go away.  Yoongi hadn’t worried about having his house cleaned or the trash taken out or having to park his car in the years since moving in.

While he put away the groceries he ordered a pizza from the place that made their own sauce and delivered fast, they also made the best cheesecake brownies, so he ordered several of those as well.  By the time Taehyung walked quietly into the living room Yoongi was halfway through his beer and scrolling through his phone.  He had thought about turning on the TV but he was too tired to focus on anything.

Taehyung’s wet hair was pushed back off his face with a wide red headband and Yoongi was struck again by how beautiful he was.  Even in a thin, white shirt and black joggers he was stunning.  Yoongi could picture him in something provocative, lace and silk, designer labels and pink eye shadow.  Immediately appalled he blinked and looked down at his hands, he had no right to think that and forcibly pushed the thoughts away, taking a long pull of his beer.

‘I ordered pizza, it should be here soon, I never want to cook after I get groceries.’

Taehyung laughed, ‘I don’t think anyone does.’

‘There’s beer if you want, or juice,’ Yoongi pointed to the fridge with his bottle.

‘Thank you, I don’t really drink,’ Taehyung walked over and took out a juice, ‘I discovered early on in my drinking career that I shouldn’t have a drinking career because I have zero tolerance.’  There was a visible shudder at what must have been a memory.

‘That bad huh,’ Yoongi asked.

‘The worst, I think I threw up everything I had eaten in the past two days, and I had the worst headache the next day.’  Yoongi scrunched his nose up at the image.

‘That sucks, but it’s good to know your limits, or lack thereof.’

They chatted until the buzzer rang and Yoongi let them up with the food.

‘This is really good pizza,’ Yoongi thought that was obvious given that it was the fourth slice Taehyung had eaten.  

‘It really is,’ he pushed the box over and pointed to the last piece, ‘No leftovers.’  Taehyung only hesitated for a moment before he picked it up and Yoongi considered that definite progress.’

The reaction to dessert had made Yoongi wish he had been able to record Taehyung’s face as he took his first bite.  He didn’t moan, because no one did that when they ate food, but his eyes might have gone big and he might have stuffed the rest of the brownie in his mouth without having finished the first bite.  Wide eyed and with chipmunk cheeks Yoongi had been unable to stop himself from laughing at the sight. 

He thought he might have laughed and smiled more with Taehyung in the handful of hours they had shared than he had for the past week.

‘Do you work tomorrow?’  Taehyung was fiddling with Yoongi’s empty beer bottle, picking at the label.

Yoongi scratched at the back of his neck.  ‘Uh no, I’ve been barred for three days.’

At Taehyung’s look of confusion Yoongi explained about the tracks he had been finishing, the almost three day stretch at the studio and that led easily into talking about Jeongguk and the album they were putting together and why it was so important to all of them.

‘That’s so great Hyung, when his message gets out there he will help so many people,’ the people like me left unspoken but Yoongi heard it clearly enough.

‘He’s a great guy, I think you guys would hit it off actually.’  Yoongi could definitely see the two of them getting along.  Jeongguk was one of the most grounded people Yoongi had ever met, focused and intense in a way that Yoongi recognized in himself, but that made for a lonely life and Jeongguk didn’t have that many friends.  For being such a performer he was quieter and much more awkward when not on stage.  Taehyung might draw something out of him the same thing that had drawn him to Yoongi.

‘Oh, I would love that.  I love meeting new people.’  Taehyung jumped off the stool and began clearing away the remnants of their dinner.  

Namjoon and Hoseok were going to have a field day when they found out what Yoongi had done.  Once they stopped laughing and or suggesting that he had been replaced by a pod person they were going to latch on and not let go.  Yoongi knew his friends and that tug he felt just from being around Taehyung for a little while would be ten times worse in his less reserved friends.  

Yoongi almost groaned when he remembered and then imagined how Jin would react.  There would definitely be a smack to the back of the head for letting a stranger into his house and then he would take one look at the boy and would start with the cooing.

Wincing he rubbed the back of his head at the promise of pain, eyes catching on Taehyung and thought it would definitely be worth it.

Waking up Yoongi’s first thoughts had been of coffee, it was always coffee, he needed to pee and he needed coffee.  The urge for both was so great that he knew he had slept late, well into the morning at least.

Sitting up he had scrubbed a hair through his mint green hair, it was fading though and he was on the fence, to touch it up or change it up.  When it hit him that he had slept so late because he had stayed up so late talking to Taehyung, he sat straight up in bed.

‘Shit,’ Taehyung.  That was a thing that had happened, Min Yoongi had brought home a homeless college student and set him up in the guest room.  He waited for the panic, the admonition, but none came.  He was as content with the decision in the light of day as he had been when he had made it.

Well it was done now, and unless Taehyung had emptied out his apartment, Yoongi would be dealing with a roommate.  Getting out of bed and ready for a day of not doing much of anything, he stopped himself from wondering what Taehyung was up to or if he was even awake yet.  Were there any plans he had made and would need to keep.  Yoongi made a note to give him the password for the front door and to let the concierge know that Taehyung was living here now.

‘Good morning,’ the bright voice called to him from the kitchen.

‘Morning,’ he tried his best to make it believable, he really needed coffee.

Before he could even make it all the way into the kitchen there was a bright yellow mug pushed into his hands, a mug he didn’t remember owning, but he was too distracted by the coffee in it to wonder where the hell it had come from, Hoseok probably.  

‘What’s this,’ he asked stupidly as he looked into what was clearly coffee, turned the correct shade which meant black as the night sky.

‘Coffee, I hope it tastes ok, I found your beans and I remembered that you ordered Americanos yesterday so I googled how to make them.  Your coffee machine is badass, I’ve never made espresso at home before.’  Yoongi could hardly process all the words, Taehyung had made him an Americano.

He took a small sip.  Then a bigger one, looking up at Taehyung over the rim who stared back, anxious.  It was perfect, ‘It’s perfect.’

Taehyung clapped and turned back to pick up his glass of milk.

‘I’ve never made one at home before either,’ Yoongi pointed at the coffee maker, ‘I usually just make a standard pot of coffee, I don’t think I even knew it made espresso.’  He took another drink.  ‘You’ll have to show me how to make this, I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to regular coffee now.’

The laughter warmed Yoongi as much as the coffee had.

‘Before I forget,’ Yoongi took out a pad of paper and a pen from the junk drawer in the island, ‘Here’s the front door code and the wifi password.’  

He ripped the paper off and slid it over.  ‘There’s a laundry shoot in the linen closet, they have a quick turnaround, usually the next day but if you need something sooner just let the concierge know.’

Yoongi walked over to the panel by the front door and explained how to buzz someone up and check front desk messages or call down for assistance.  By the end Taehyung

 was clearly overwhelmed.

‘It’s like something out of a movie,’ Taehyung ran a finger over the panel, soft enough not to press any of the buttons.

Yoongi laughed, ‘Wait until you see the pool.’

Taehyung turned with wide eyes, ‘There’s a pool?’

For the first time in years Yoongi was not itching to get back to work.  There had been some concerned texts, Namjoon asking if he was alive, Yoongi was usually a pest, calling and replying to emails that denoted his lack of prescribed relaxation.

Of course Yoongi had thought about work, he had checked and responded to the more urgent emails, but the rest he allowed to sit.  For the first time in a long time, he had something to do, something to look forward to that wasn’t Cypher.  Taehyung had been so excited by the prospect of both the outdoor and indoor pool they had ended up spending the better part of that first day debating the merits of both.  Yoongi had only used the indoor pool once or twice, he enjoyed the steam rooms and the hot tub on occasion, but he hadn’t braved the sun of the outdoor pool until Taehyung had insisted.

Not having packed swim trunks, Yoongi hadn’t thought twice about lending him a pair, which in hindsight had been a mistake.  Yoongi knew that Taehyung was taller than him, he was used to having people taller than him.  But seeing Taehyung in black swim trunks, his black swim trunks, had done stupid things to his stomach and all he had been able to think was legs, miles and miles of long, tanned legs.  At that moment Yoongi had accepted that he was absolutely going to be going to special hell.

So distracted by the legs and the softness of Taehyung’s stomach he didn’t even register that he had been pulled to the outdoors until Taehyung was jumping into the pool with a loud yell of happiness.  Yoongi had never been more grateful for a poolside bar, taking a stool he ordered a himself a drink, and a virgin version of something fruity that he thought Taehyung might appreciate.  The bartender brought the drinks over to the lounge chair Yoongi had wandered over and dropped onto. He had thoughtfully brought over a bottle of sunscreen, guaranteeing an enormous tip in the process.  Yoongi hadn’t realized they made sunscreen that strong, but it was clear that Yoongi wasn’t one to partake in the sun often and he wasn't offended.

He had just pulled his shirt off and was applying lotion to his chest when he felt eyes on him.  Looking up he saw Taehyung had swum over, chin resting on the arms he crossed on the pool ledge, there was curiosity in the look and what he would call interest in anyone else.  Yoongi fought the smirk, he was definitely going to special hell.

‘I’ve always wanted a tattoo.’  Eyes were tracing over his arms, inked from shoulder to wrist, his left was a riot of color, his right a study of blacks and negative space.  Yoongi appreciated the beauty of color, but there was something about the creativity in using negative space that he loved best.

‘They’re addicting.’ He lifted his right leg where more bright colors stretched from ankle to just below his knee, the opposite mirrored on his left leg.  Yoongi liked the symmetry of it, the duality of colors playing off blacks and grey’s.  He had a plan for his chest and back but he was in no rush, nothing that had put the itch under his skin.  When Yoongi got that itch he would spend hours and hours under the needle, headphones on, he would lose days to the comfort of art pressing into his skin.  Just another way for Yoongi to tell the world his story.

‘You should put some lotion on Tae-yah.’  Yoongi waved the bottle.

He grinned back, ‘I don’t burn Hyung.  Too many days out with the strawberries.’  Yoongi really didn’t want to think of Taehyung hot and sweaty and like covered in dirt, he really didn’t but of course he did.

‘Humor Hyung.’  And he probably should have thought that through better because Taehyung simply rolled his eyes and used his arms to push himself out of the water like some sort of sea creature.  Yoongi knew he was gaping, staring, probably, definitely looked ridiculous, but Taehyung was just walking towards him with a smile and gold skin and he was dripping.  

Lots of dripping.

God was really coming for Yoongi today.

If Taehyung knew the effect he was having he hid it well, Yoongi assumed he did.  Taehyung was no idiot but he was polite enough not to comment on it, at least in the moment.

In the moment he simply picked up the white towel and dried off enough to put lotion on his chest and legs while Yoongi did his best not to die.

‘Hyung, you gotta get my back and I gotta get yours.’  The words simply didn’t register, not until there was a bottle dropped into his lap and a Taehyung occupying the space between his legs.  Until the day he died Yoongi would never admit to the noise he absolutely did not make when presented with the endless and ridiculous proportion of Taehyung’s back.  

Yoongi was a weak, weak man.

‘Everything okay,’ Taehyung looked over his right shoulder, he had slicked his wet hair back and there was just so much for Yoongi to see he didn’t know where to look.  There were moles scattered over Taehyung’s face, which was really just unfair, Yoongi fought back the urge to trace his fingers over them.

Lotion, yes, he had a job to do.  ‘Yeah, I’m good,’ his voice was rough, the words strained.  If Taehyung noticed he didn’t say or act on Yoongi’s behavior, he simply smiled and turned back around, wiggling his shoulders in invitation.

So Yoongi took it, squeezed a handful of the white lotion onto his hand, and applied it carefully to Taehyung’s skin.  The moment was incredibly intimate, more so when Yoongi turned around and allowed Taehyung to return the favor.  Intimacy was not something that Yoongi encountered often. His friends were affectionate, skinship among them was rampant, but this was different.  Taehyung was different.  

He was almost a stranger, but he was more than any one night stand that Yoongi indulged in.  He was more than a friend, Yoongi certainly didn’t look at or feel the same way when he was around Jeongguk. What they were was a mystery to Yoongi at present, nothing and something, existing at the same time.  He thought he remembered Namjoon going off about some sort of theory, a cat that was dead and alive at the same time.

What he did know was that Taehyung was in a vulnerable situation, stranger or not, Yoongi would never want to put Taehyung in an uncomfortable position.  

Taehyung managed to talk (drag) Yoongi into the pool and he hated to admit that it had felt nice.  The sun warmed water was refreshing against his skin and he floated lazily while Taehyung had splashed around like an overgrown puppy.

‘Hyung, this is amazing,’ they had stayed in the water until the sun had become unbearable and had retreated to the shade of the bar.  There was a restaurant in the lobby of the building, Yoongi thought they were pretentious, but they would send up food if ordered.  They had ordered one of each appetizer on the menu and were sharing the half dozen plates between them.

‘It is nice, I’ve never spent any time out here,’ his gaze strayed over to the city view over Taehyung’s shoulder.  The view was spectacular.  Namjoon and Hoseok both had apartments closer to the studio, but Yoongi hadn’t wanted to live that far into the city.  He liked the quieter atmosphere and he had been one of the first to buy before the building had even been finished and gotten his place for an amazing price.

‘I would be up here all the time,’  Taehyung waved a hand at the skyline.  ‘The sunsets must be amazing.  I would love to get some pictures.’  That piqued Yoongi’s interest.

‘You like photography, is that what you are going to school for?’  He took a sip of his drink, he had switched to beer, not wanting to be anything less than sober.

Taehyung fiddled with his plate, ‘Ah, no, it’s just a hobby.  I love it though, painting and photography.  It’s so great to be able to create something from a moment or from nothing.’  He did in fact know that joy, he knew it very well.

‘I would like to get my major in elementary education, I love kids and teaching, and it’s so important to create a safe and creative space you know.  I had the best teachers when I was in school, the kids weren’t the greatest, but the teachers did their best, especially in high school.’  Yoongi tried to picture a younger Taehyung, all arms and legs, trying to navigate the hallways and peer pressure. 

Yoongi had hated high school.  Had despised everything that wasn’t music class or basketball but he knew that he had to do well, that getting good grades would get him where he wanted to be.  That hadn’t meant he had to be happy about it.

‘If I had had more teachers that thought like you in school maybe I wouldn’t have hated it as much.’  Taehyung had laughed.

‘Do you have a minor in mind?’  Taehyung stared down at his hands, Yoongi would have sworn there was a blush on his face.

‘I had planned on a music minor, I sent in some recordings, but they’re picky about who they allow in, especially for a minor, but I wanted to at least try, to say that I tried even if I don’t get in.’  Yoongi had hoped that Taehyung could sing, but to sing good enough to pursue it, his curiosity was overflowing.

‘It’s good to try, and good to have balance.  I took music production and business, which I hated, but it gave me a great base when we were starting Cypher.’

They talked about music, Taehyung insisted on listening to some of Yoongi’s work, he had almost fallen off his stool when the opening track of the first Agust D song started playing.  The surprise and awe had driven a fierce blush onto Yoongi’s cheeks that he hoped played off as sunburn.  Taehyung it turned out, was a fan, he had even been to a few shows.  It had been a while since Yoongi had performed and he tried to picture a younger Taehyung sneaking into a club to see him.

‘Don’t you miss it?  Performing and making music.’  Yoongi still made music for himself, he thought about the tracks he had hidden on his desktop, some just fragments, some completed, but they were beats he had kept close to his chest.  

‘I still write, I’ve got a good amount done, almost enough for another mixtape.’ He didn’t know why he said it, he hadn’t even told Namjoon he was working on new stuff.  

‘Oh my God that’s so awesome I can’t wait to hear it.’  Yoongi thought he might like for Taehyung to listen, to know what he thought and felt when he heard the songs.  An idea began to take root, something that he would pick at later, but he it was enough that it was there.

‘You would have to do a show if you did another album, right?’  Taehyung took a long drink of his iced tea.

‘I suppose, I haven’t done a show in some time.’  There was no real reason why he hadn’t.  Hoseok practically jumped at the opportunity to perform, even Namjoom got the urge every few months to crash a show.  The two of them hadn’t managed to keep their alter egos secret when the awards had started coming in, but if they showed up at a club, no one would turn them away from the stage.  Announcing a show meant expectations and tickets and hype, which neither of them wanted or needed, so an unplanned night on stage had worked for them.  Until it had only been Namjoon pulling up his hood and mask and heading downtown on a Saturday night.

It might be nice to do it again, to feel the rush, to connect with the audience, to let the words pour out of him.  Yes, it was something that he hadn’t done in far too long.

‘Well, you’ll have to let me know when you do another one.’  Taehyung grinned and hopped off the stool.  He talked (dragged) Yoongi into trying out the indoor pool and Yoongi was grateful there had been no need to reapply sunscreen.

Their second day together they had binge watched anime through lunch, then took Yoongi’s car into the city and Yoongi had given Taehyung a tour of the university.  Despite it being July the campus never really closed, there were summer classes in session and athletics trained year round, but it wasn’t as crowded as it would be in September.  

Even though it had been a few years since he had been back Yoongi walked the paths between the buildings with practiced ease, he thought at the height of his secondary education he could have made certain walks with his eyes closed.

‘I didn’t think it would be so big.’  Taehyung looked up at the undergraduate library and the media arts building next to it.  ‘There are so many people.’

‘Wait until freshman rush, you won’t be able to move.’  Yoongi pointed out the best places to sneak a cat nap and where not to ever leave personal belongings and even talked about some of the faculty in the music department that Taehyung might end up studying under.  They circled the dorms, Yoongi had never stayed on campus, and Taehyung wouldn’t be starting as a freshman so he had no idea where they would place him.  Yoongi could see Taehyung in the dorms, he had visited enough to know what they were like, he could see him fitting in and making friends and turning the small space into a home, he could see it but it didn’t mean he liked it which was ridiculous.  They had just met and Yoongi didn’t get to keep him.

‘Ah, I don’t even know if I’ll get in.’  They were standing outside the music building and Taehyung was looking wistfully at the facade.  Yoongi didn't think he had ever seen someone look wistful before, it had his heart flipping over in his chest, he casually pinched his thigh and focused.  He had heard the soft singing Taehyung did under his breath when he thought Yoongi wasn't paying attention.

‘You’ll get in.’  No doubt, no hesitation, he was itching to get Taehyung behind a mic in his studio.

‘Hmmm, we’ll see.’  Cutting across the quad, heading towards the parking lot, Taehyung announced he was making dinner for them, one of his grandmother’s favorite meals.

They stopped at the store on their way home, it felt strange to say they were going home, but Yoongi didn’t think he minded it.  There were some ingredients that Taehyung needed since Yoongi wasn’t sure they were in the kitchen or not.  

‘I can pay Hyung,’ Taehyung had whined.  Yoongi knew he wasn’t broke, that the money he had saved up to pay for the hostel was still in his savings, but that didn’t mean he was going to let him pay.

‘I know you can Tae-yah,’ and maybe it was a cheap trick to pull out the nickname, Taehyung visibly melted, but Yoongi had never been afraid to play dirty.  ‘But I’m the Hyung.’  He had insisted Taehyung download the grocery app he preferred and added him in as a user.

‘I’m not going to use that.’  Yoongi had shrugged.

‘You will if you don’t want us to starve.’  Taehyung had rolled his eyes and insisted on carrying the bags to the car and that Yoongi thought was a very fair trade.  Yoongi was very much against physical activity of any kind.

Dinner had been good, really good, had brought back memories of home. Seoul was where he lived.  But Daegu was home in a way that only a place where you were born could be.  Yoongi and Taehyung hadn’t grown up near each other, hardly knew any common places, but they shared a home regardless.  They shared it in the view of the mountains and the air and the words that rolled off their tongues.

Feeling a little nostalgic and more than full and slightly buzzed from the wine he had had with dinner he had sunk deeply into the couch.

‘It really is a nice couch.’  Taehyung was stretched out across from him, they had each claimed one whole section of the L that made up the couch.

‘Yup.’  Yoongi stared into his glass, debating if he wanted to go back into the kitchen for a refill, deciding against it.  The last thing he needed was to lower any inhibitions when there was already a peek of skin where Taehyung's shirt was riding up at the waist.

‘Why don’t you have anything on the walls?’  Yoongi blinked, looking over at Taehyung first and then up at the white wall behind the TV.  He glanced around the room, there wasn’t anything on the walls, not anywhere in the apartment other than his bedroom.  The prints had always been his bedroom, at his parents house, in the living room that doubled as a bedroom and then in the two-bedroom he had moved into with Namjoon.  They had shared an actual bedroom, the smaller one, using the larger bedroom again as their studio.  It had been weird to own a couch for the first time in years, they had laughed about it, the thing had been ugly as sin but comfortable enough to pass out on.

‘I don’t really know.’  He explained about the prints, how they had always been with him while he slept.  ‘Never thought much about the rest of the walls.  Jin-hyung, he’s Hoseok’s boyfriend, tried to tell me to do something about that once but no one really comes over.’

It was easier to hang out at Namjoon’s or Hobi’s after work, they were closer to the studio, but he had never turned them away when they showed up at his door.

‘No girlfriend to come over,’ Yoongi looked over quickly at the question.

‘No, no girlfriend,’  Taehyung’s eyes were impossibly dark, ‘No boyfriend either.’  Yoongi remembered the look he had received after he had explained why the message was so important to Jeongguk.  Taehyung hadn’t explicitly said but Yoongi thought he might relate to them.

‘Well, I don’t either,’ Taehyung smiled, ‘Have a girlfriend or a boyfriend.’  The wide grin was jarring in contrast to the words.  Yoongi was bemused.  He reminded himself that nothing could happen not when things were so complicated.

‘I could give you something for your walls.’

Yoongi thought he might like that, a lot even, ‘I would like that, thank you.’  Taehyung blushed and warmth filled Yoongi’s chest.

The problem was things weren’t complicated.

Yoongi really, really wanted it to be complicated, he needed it to be awkward and inappropriate, he needed something to push him away when everything was pulling him in.

Their third day together Taehyung asked if he could go out, he wanted to get some art stuff, ‘There’s a place not too far, the website actually looks kind of amazing, I can walk there.’ Taehyung had mentioned he liked to paint, not as much as taking photos, but it was nice sometimes to create rather than just capture.

Yoongi had been mortified, ‘Of course Taehyung, you don’t need my permission, it’s your home too.’  The word slipped out on accident but Yoongi meant it.  They hadn’t talked about whether or not Taehyung wanted to leave, he acted like he wanted to stay, and had made no mention of looking for other accommodations.  Yoongi didn’t want to think about him leaving when school started, so he wouldn’t, putting aside uncomfortable thoughts was something that he excelled at.

He had almost asked if he needed money, but bit his tongue, Taehyung had had a run of bad luck, but he was an adult.  If he wanted some art stuff and thought he could afford it Yoongi had to trust that.

And even after three days he knew he did, trust Taehyung, it was startling.

The time apart was maybe good.  Yoongi took the time to finally tackle the boxes in the spare room.  There was no reason to think Yoongi would get any more house guests, but he might find someone the next time he ran out for barbeque, who knew. 

The recording equipment went into his office. He would need to plug everything up and see what worked and what could go, but that was for another day.

The boxes of awards immediately went by the front door, to be taken in to work tomorrow.  He considered what to do with the extra cd’s and promotional items, it occurred to him then that these had been with him since they had been at Cypher’s old building, there had been a decided lack of storage hence why the boxes had ended up with Yoongi.  The new building had more than enough closets to stash the stuff and a highly paid media and promotions department that could decide what was worth keeping.

Once those were also by the door, he eyed the stack and considered if they would fit in the car and guessed between the trunk and backseat they just might.  The only thing left were some boxes of books he had already decided to donate and winter clothes that had not made it into his closet. 

The clothes went into the laundry chute and the books he left outside Taehyung's door in case there were any he wanted before they were upcycled.  The room looked like a proper bedroom now, it had felt surprisingly good when he had stepped back from remaking the bed and thinking that it was nice to mark something off his mental to-do list, especially one that had been taking up space for so long.

Taehyung had returned not long after Yoongi had finished making a light lunch, he had texted, asking if he had wanted him to save him some.

‘Almost home.  Starving!’  There were a string of emojis that had followed and it did not surprise Yoongi in the slightest that Taehyung was the type to use emojis.

When Taehyung had said art supplies Yoongi had imagined some colored pencils and a sketchbook.  He had been unprepared for the bags looped through one arm and an easel and multiple blank canvases under the other. 

‘You carried all of this yourself,’ Yoongi frowned at the unexpected weight of the easel.  

‘It wasn’t far, it’s really nice out, can you believe how much I got!’  Yoongi really couldn’t, he winced thinking how much it must have cost.

‘They have an awesome selection,’ Taehyung shook the bags of paints and brushes at him, ‘But even better they sell used stuff.’  Yoongi looked at the canvases resting against the couch and the easel he had leant against the wall.

‘Used,’ he took a closer look at the canvas and realized that while white, it wasn’t as white as he would expect it to be.

Taehyung picked it up and turned it to face him, ‘So people will turn in old canvases for store credit or cash, some people just can’t reuse canvases, superstitious or something like that, and the shop will strip them and sell them cheap.  Same with the easel.’

‘That’s really cool.’  As they put the stuff away in Taehyung’s room, he had been thrilled with the box of books, and Yoongi had told him about the equipment he had scrimped and saved to buy.

‘Half the stuff didn’t work right, I got pretty handy with a soldering iron, even after we could afford the good stuff it was a useful skill to have because some machines just get that perfect sound and you don’t want to let it go once you’ve found it.’  Taehyung had laughed and they had swapped more stories over lunch.

The fourth day Yoongi had woken to his alarm and for the first time didn’t actively want to wake up and go to work.  Yoongi never wanted to wake up to his alarm, he hated morning people, but he had always suffered through the early morning because he knew he was heading into a job he loved and was proud of.  This morning he thought about staying under the covers, waiting until he heard Taehyung moving around and finding an excuse to just hang out.  

It was a ridiculous idea, Yoongi was ridiculous, he didn’t hang out, he didn’t skip work to hang out with a pretty boy he had met four days ago.  He didn’t used to be that person but a treacherous voice in his head whispered that he might become one.

Kicking off the covers, he fought against the urge to crawl back into bed and sloughed his way through a shower and getting dressed.  When he got to the kitchen he was surprised to see Taehyung already dressed and turning towards him with a travel mug of coffee in his hand.

The scene was so thoughtful, so domestic, it made Yoongi’s heart squeeze tight in his chest and he had to bite back the urge to wrap him up in a hug, or more.  Last night they had watched a movie on Netflix, Yoongi had no idea what it had been about, no sooner had the opening credits rolled Taehyung dropped his head onto Yoongi’s lap and curled up like an overgrown cat.  Yoongi’s brain had promptly gone offline, every muscle had frozen, then Taehyung had looked up at him, eyes dark and uncertain and Yoongi had melted.  He had smiled down at him, earning a smile in return when he had slid a hair through the brown locks.  

He had wondered again at the green tinted bangs, wondered what other colors he had tried, had any other of their choices lined up.  Yoongi had spent the entirety of the movie trying to stop himself from thinking about anything, tried and failed.

Seeing Taehyung this morning, looking soft and sleepy, hair pushed back in another of those headbands, purple this time, he wondered what it would be like to wake up next to him, what it would be like to fall asleep with him.

Not the time, not the freaking time.  ‘Thank you Taehyung-ah,’ if his voice was rougher than usual he would blame it on just waking up.  He took the pastry that was thoughtfully wrapped in a napkin, he would need to get his heart looked at after this.

‘So I’ll see you later,’ he had invited Taehyung to Cypher for lunch, knowing that the morning would be spent catching up and he would need time to prepare Namjoon and Hoseok.

Taehyung gave him the grin, ‘Noon sharp, I can’t wait!’  Yoongi tried not to flinch, it was too early for such enthusiasm, Hobi was going to love Taehyung. 

‘Right, the concierge will order the Uber when you’re ready to leave, give it a half an hour.’  Taehyung rolled his eyes.  They had argued about it last night, well argue was a strong word.  Taehyung had insisted he could figure out the transit system, which Yoongi had immediately shut down.

‘You’ll need more than a morning to figure that out, and don’t try tackling it during the week, too many commuters.  Wait until the weekend and we can go together.’  Yoongi knew there was at least one subway transfer and a long walk or bus ride to get to the studio.  Yoongi had also insisted on paying for the car, ‘I’m inviting you I’ll pay.’ 

Whatever Taehyung had grumbled under his breath Yoongi hadn’t pressed for clarity, taking a big bite of his pastry and waving goodbye over his shoulder.  He had called down the night before and had asked for help taking the boxes down to his car knowing he would be in no mood to mess with them this morning.  Smiling as he got behind the wheel he took a big drink of coffee, it was perfect.

Telling Namjoon and Hoseok had gone, better than he had expected.  Not that he had expected his friends to react badly, but he had expected some teasing or at least a lecture.

Maybe it was because he had started off reminding them how once upon a time he had been sleeping on subways and buses, maybe he had talked about how awful that couch had been the first night, the nostalgia had caught them both off guard.

Namjoon had been there for him the longest, but Yoongi had rarely talked about those weeks he had spent before crashing on the couch.  Sitting in Yoongi’s office he shared the highlights, nothing bad had happened to him, he had escaped the kind of bad that he knew happened to a lot of lost kids on the streets.  But it hadn’t been great.  Hoseok had taken his hand at one point, squeezing it tightly, and Yoongi hadn’t pulled away, the contact grounding him.  Namjoon had sat back in his chair hard.

‘Not that I’m not thrilled that you’re sharing this, because I am, but why now,’ Namjoon leaned closer, chin resting on his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

And that had been the opening that he had been needing.

‘Wait, just wait, let me get this straight,’ Hoseok sat back, eyes wide, looking between Yoongi and Namjoon.  ‘You left work and on your way home stopped for a coffee and left the shop with a Taehyung.’

Yoongi frowned, Namjoon snorted out a laugh, ‘I mean technically I guess I did.’

And there were the looks he had been expecting, the assessing ones, the ones questioning if this Yoongi was their Yoongi.  He liked to think he was a good person, loyal to his friends and fair in a business deal, he took care of his own but he would never be accused of putting himself out there, of reaching out to others.  People worked their way into Yoongi’s life, he did not burrow his way into theirs.

‘Hyung it’s like something out of a drama, you’re living in a drama, oh my God it’s so exciting.’  Yoongi really didn’t think calling Taehyung homeless was exciting.

‘When can we meet him, you’re not hiding him from us are you.’

Yoongi winced, ‘He’s coming here actually, told him I would give him a tour after lunch,’ he looked at the clock behind his desk, ‘He’ll be here soon actually.  I ordered food for all of us, figured I’d get it out of the way.’

‘Oh my God,’ Hoseok screeched, ‘He’s going to come here now.  I’m not even dressed.’  Hoseok was in fact dressed, in workout pants and a hoodie, which is what he wore pretty much everyday.

Yoongi rolled his eyes, ‘You’re not meeting the President Hoseok, stop being dramatic.’  Hoseok sniffed and picked at a suspicious looking stain on his sleeve.

Standing, he pointed a finger at Yoongi, ‘I am going to go change and I am going to call my boyfriend who is going to be extremely offended that he was not invited to this first meet and greet.’

Shit, he hadn’t considered that.  Hoseok smirked when he saw the look on Yoongi’s face.  ‘Do not let him start introductions without me, I will be back in ten minutes’ he waved a threatening finger at Namjoon on his way out.

Namjoon was still silent, looking down at the floor and then up at Yoongi.  He wished he would just say something, anything.

‘I knew of course that you had needed a place to crash, but I don’t think I understood what exactly that meant.’  Namjoon met his eyes and he saw the love there, the concern, the fear that came with what-if.

‘You saved my life Joon-ah.’  Yoongi hadn’t meant for the conversation to go in this direction but he meant every word.  

‘Hyung,’ Namjoon pressed his thumbs against his eyes and Yoongi felt his heart lurch.  He hadn’t meant to make him cry.

‘Shit, Joon, please stop.’  Yoongi managed to wrap his arms around him, pretending he didn’t notice the tears against his neck or the way the back of his shirt was clenched into a tight fist.

By the time he had gotten a text from Taehyung telling him that he was almost to the lobby Hoseok had returned wearing the most ridiculous of outfits, he was pretty sure it was from two comebacks ago and the yellow turtleneck had been offensive even then.  Namjoon had taken one look and burst out laughing before ducking into the bathroom to wash his face and pull himself together.  

At Hobi’s questioning look Yoongi had only shrugged, ‘Didn’t mean to bring up some memories, but it happens.’  Hoseok had smiled, the warm one that always made Yoongi have a little more faith in the world.

The hug that Hoseok subjected him to was entirely too long and drawn out and any other day Yoongi would have squirmed out of it but today he simply squeezed back, the feels had him hard today, it was ridiculous.

Yoongi had just handed off the bags of food to Namjoon when his phone went off with a text and he pulled it from his pocket.

‘He’s down in the lobby.’  

Hobi clapped his hands, ‘Bring him right back here, no dawdling.’  

Yoongi rolled his eyes.  ‘Pretty sure you’re not the boss of me.’

Hoseok had cooed, literally squished Taehyung’s cheeks, and cooed.

Namjoon had nearly split his dimples he was grinning so widely and looked so incredibly fond that Yoongi had to look away.

Taehyung for his part had been wide eyed but had rolled with affection as only someone who was used to giving hugs could be.  He hadn’t flinched at the questions over take out food or minded when some of them crossed a line.

‘Hoseok,’ Namjoon had scolded, before Yoongi could say anything, but Taehyung had waved them all off.

‘It’s fine,’ and he had simply answered.  It was really alarming how much of an open book Taehyung was, Yoongi couldn’t imagine such a thing.

At his limit Yoongi had finally kicked his two friends out, ‘You have work to do and I have a tour to give.  Go away.’

Namjoon had to take Hoseok by the arm and pull him from the room, but not before reminding Yoongi that Jin expected both of them at dinner tonight, ‘No excuses hyung!’

‘Should I be concerned,’ Taehyung had asked once he had seen Yoongi’s face.

‘No, no Jin-hyung is great, don’t tell him I said that.  Just expect a lot of food and there will probably be lots of hugs and demands upon your time.’  Yoongi waved a hand at the younger.  ‘There will definitely be lots of hugs.’

‘Hugs,’ Taehyung said the word slowly as though he didn’t quite understand what he meant.

‘Yeah, he has a tendency to adopt, well, everyone.  I can’t really explain it but you’ll see later.’  Yoongi hesitated, hand on the door, looking over his shoulder.  ‘Unless you’d rather not.  They can be a lot, and you’re under no obligation to go.’

Taehyung was quick to reassure him, ‘Of course I want to go Hyung, your friends are wonderful, I would love to meet more.’

‘Well you’ll meet Jeongguk today if we’re lucky, we’ll probably run into him in one of the studios, you’ll like him I think.’

They had in fact run into Jeongguk in one of the unassigned studios, he had been eager to learn as much about the process as he could, and Yoongi couldn’t help but be impressed every time he saw what he was working on.  He never gave anything less than one hundred percent and Yoongi had a thought that maybe it was time that particular studio was permanently assigned.  

What Yoongi hadn’t been expecting was the dancer with orange hair curled up in the corner of the sofa dead asleep.  Jimin he thinks, one of Hoseok’s shining stars, decent enough voice, maybe wasn’t ready to solo, but did great as back-up and would do well in a vocal line.  Cypher had toyed with the idea of a group, they hadn’t as yet promoted anyone other than solo artists.  There was such a stigma around Idol groups, a heavy expectancy around sound and aesthetic they weren’t sure where they would fit in as a company so they had tabled the idea.  

Yoongi wondered what he could pull out of the three voices in the room.  He considered the textures and layers that would compliment each other best, Taehyung’s smoky vocals with Jeongguk’s higher resonance, and how he could tie them together with what he thought he could coax out of Jimin.

Shaking himself out of the thought, but not one he dismissed immediately, he made the introductions once Jeongguk had shaken Jimin awake.  Jimin had paled at Yoongi’s hello, he didn’t have much interaction with Hoseok’s dancers but he figured he would be embarrassed if his boss caught him sleeping.

Before Jimin could stammer out an apology Yoongi cut him off with what he hoped was a reassuring smile, his smiles could sometimes have the opposite effect.  ‘It’s why we got those couches specifically, for napping.’  Taehyung beamed, Jeongguk was clearly surprised by the unexpected humor, and Jimin looked down right baffled.  Maybe he needed to spend a little more time out of the studio, he didn’t want anyone to be afraid of him, respectful yes, but he didn’t want to be someone people were actively afraid of.

There were people who had earned that anger though, bigots and assholes who couldn’t understand the word no, they had seen Yoongi angry and even though Jin had told him it was a good look on him he wasn’t sure his opinion could be trusted.  Not when Yoongi had just throat punched one particular asshole at a bar who had not taken Jin’s ‘No’ seriously and had refused to remove his hand from Jin’s dick without intervention.  Yoongi had been very, very angry.  Jin had been shaking and Namjoon was holding Yoongi back from the man being dragged away by security, Yoongi wasn’t one for physical violence, but he knew how to fight as good as anyone who had grown up where and how he had.  As an adult he had taken to cold stares and biting words rather than fists and kicks, but sometimes a punch said what words couldn’t.

As predicted Taehyung and Jeongguk hit it off, but surprisingly it was Jimin who was the most animated. Yoongi watched as he went off on a tirade, Yoongi wasn’t sure what he was going on about, but Taehyung matched him word for word.  Leaning against the desk Yoongi felt Jeongguk elbow his side gently.

Yoongi knew the question was coming, or what he assumed would be a question. He had introduced Taehyung as a friend, Jimin had not known Yoongi well enough to question it, but Jeongguk’s eyebrows had risen nearly to his hairline, he did know Yoongi well enough to know that he had three friends, real friends, and none of them were Taehyung.  He figured introductions around the building would be easier if he simply said Taehyung was an old friend from school.

‘An old friend, that’s what you’re going with.’  Yoongi looked over at Jeongguk.  ‘I can only imagine what the real story is.’

Yoongi rolled his eyes at the smirk the younger gave him, ‘Brat.’

‘Wherever you did find him, I hope you keep him.  I like him.’

Yoongi smiled, ‘I like him too.’

The tour was hijacked by Jeongguk and Jimin, who had gotten over his reservations fast enough to make his head spin, by the time they were back in the hall Yoongi was hearing ‘Hyung’ in three part harmony.  There was work to do, all of them had work in fact, but Yoongi didn’t rush them, he liked watching Taehyung laugh at funny stories.  The way he asked question after question and focused intently on whoever gave an answer, it was endearing.

‘Oh I don’t have a job yet, I’m just getting settled in Seoul.’  Yoongi knew the story would come out eventually but the middle of a half filled dance studio was hardly the place.

‘I heard Hoseok-hyung talking about needing another PA yesterday,’ Jimin shared eagerly.  Yoongi remembered reading an email that the PA the admin levels shared had had to take an emergency leave of absence to take care of a sick family member.

‘You should apply for it,’ Jeongguk suggested, elbowing Taehyung gently.  Yoongi found himself nodding, it was a good idea.  A great one actually.

Taehyung blushed, ‘I wouldn’t even know what to do, I’ve never worked anywhere like here.’  All three looked at Yoongi, expectant, like he was the knowledge keeper of all things PA job related.  

He racked his brain trying to think about what the PA’s had done, specifically.

‘Uh, well, there’s a lot of delivering messages, either time sensitive ones in person, or like putting together a mass email.  Helping out around the office, someone always has something they need put together or tracked down.  There are always projects that need an extra set of hands.  It’s a good way to gain experience.'

‘Like a jack of all trades,’ Jimin provided helpfully.  Yoongi nodded.

‘Yes, exactly, a little bit of everything.’

Yoongi couldn’t read the look on Taehyung’s face, but he hoped it was one of consideration.

‘I could do that I think, I like doing a lot of things at once,’ his smile wasn’t quite the wide, boxy one that Yoongi had started collecting, this was one smaller, less sure, but just as sincere.

‘It’ll be good practice for when you’re chasing after your elementary students,’ Yoongi wasn’t too proud to admit that the wide, boxy grin appeared after he spoke and it felt good to have been the reason for it.  

Things had moved quickly after that and Yoongi had lost control of the situation.  Jeongguk had texted Hoseok about the open PA position for Taehyung who had then called Yoongi and yelled at him to send Taehyung to him immediately and then Jimin had suggested that a group chat might be easier and then Namjoon was texting the group and asking whoever was closest to Taehyung to bring him to his office to sign the paperwork.  Yoongi had heard later that Hoseok had interrupted a phone call to an overseas production company and demanded the name of the HR person would put Taehyung on the payroll.

‘I thought it would be better for everyone involved if I stepped in.’  Namjoon had smiled around the neck of his beer bottle, relaying the story over an after dinner drink, Yoongi had to agree.

He hadn’t seen much of Taehyung until the work day was almost over, after Jimin and Jeongguk had swept him off to Namjoon’s office Yoongi had gotten back to work.  There were updates via texts, and selfies, he had laughed at some of the ridiculous faces that Taehyung pulled next to an equally ridiculous Jimin.

Hobi had realized that Seokjin hadn’t been added to the group chat, and had added him approximately thirty seconds before Jeongguk sent a picture of Taehyung and Jimin.

Then all hell had broken loose.

Seokjin had proceeded to spam the group chat.  There were emojis and calls for ‘the precious bean’ to be brought to him immediately.  While Yoongi could relate, he left Hoseok to deal with it, he did wonder where exactly the three youngers had ended up because he had no idea where that photo could have been taken in the two hours that he had last seen them.

‘I had a lot of fun tonight hyung.’  Taehyung was leaning back against the passenger seat of the car, eyes half lidded, smile soft but sincere.  

‘I’m glad Taehyung-ah.’  Dinner had gone well, really well, Jeongguk and Jimin had joined them and Jin had been elated.  So many mouths to feed and faces to squish.  Yoongi had retreated to the balcony with Namjoon, there was only so much affection Yoongi could take before he broke out in hives.

Namjoon smiled at Hoseok’s loud laughter, the blush they could see from even here on Jeongguk’s face, ‘You did a good thing, Hyung.’  Yoongi didn’t think he just meant helping Taehyung, although doing that had led them all here, so maybe it didn’t matter.

‘I think I did too Joon-ah.’

Yoongi had thought it would be strange to work and live with someone, especially when that someone was a stranger, who wasn’t a stranger, who was a friend but more than a friend.

As easy as it was for the two of them it was complicated.

Harder when he got to know Taehyung, his likes and dislikes, how he could make friends with everyone and listened with a sincerity that baffled Yoongi.  His capacity to care for so many things humbled Yoongi.

Yoongi knew that he was treading on thin ice, that something would have to give.  Taehyung had not made a secret of his attraction to Yoongi, that moment two weeks after he had moved in, all Yoongi had wanted was to get his laptop off the coffee table

Taehyung intercepted him before he could step into the living room, the question had died on Yoongi’s lips as Taehyung had gently taken hold of Yoongi’s wrists.  In the hallway, Yoongi had stared, frozen in abject horror and fascination as Taehyung had pressed a kiss to each palm and then each fingertip.  ‘I like your hands Hyung, so much, I like you so much.’  Yoongi had felt his soul leave his body, stared at Taehyung’s mouth as his lips pressed softly onto his knuckles.  Before Yoongi had been able to say anything, because words were things and he hadn’t been able to think of anything other than to wonder at how soft Taehyung’s lips were, Taehyung had pulled away and headed back down the hall towards his room. 

Yoongi had thought it would be awkward after that, and had thought that the next time their eyes met there would be some stuttering or stammering.  He thought maybe there were some stolen glances, moments when Yoongi felt eyes on him, but there was no tension, not any awkward tension.

Namjoon had told him to talk to Taehyung about it, acknowledge what was there or might be there and try to figure out a solution.  Yoongi knew it was the mature thing to do, knew that he was going to have to do it, but he didn’t want to.  He wasn’t too proud to admit that he was being a coward, that the thought of what might be wasn’t enough of a draw to risk what they had now.  That would only sustain for so long though.

The ice had held for three months.

October might have been Yoongi’s favorite month, it was blessedly not hot anymore, cool enough for sweaters and scarves but not cold enough that he had to bundle to the point of ridiculousness, which he had been called many times over the previous winter’s.  

October would have definitely been his favorite month except for the pumpkin spice.  The flavor was everywhere.  Yoongi enjoyed a good smelling candle just like the next person, and he indulged in the more autumn scents when the season rolled around but there was no reason or excuse to flavor everything with pumpkin spice.

October was Taehyung’s favorite month.  The leaves, the cool air, the impending spooky decorations, he loved all of it.  Between school and work, he was thriving, Yoongi didn’t think he would ever get tired of hearing about his day, always eager to share a new fact or a picture of something he had seen while out and about.

October found Taehyung cornering Yoongi into finally talking.  When Yoongi had gotten the text asking if they could talk later, there might have been a moment of panic.  That was a break-up text, well an invitation to a  break-up, he had received and sent enough to know what it was.  It was ridiculous since they weren’t together, they couldn’t break up, couldn’t break up because Yoongi hadn’t been brave enough to have a talk of his own.  So he had begged off the meet, claiming he had work, which was hilarious since Taehyung knew his schedule better than he did.

October was the month that Yoongi had come home late, quietly entering the apartment, surprised the lights in the living room were still on.  He had been certain Taehyung would be asleep, had stayed out as long as he thought appropriate to ensure exactly that.  Except Taehyung wasn’t asleep, he was sitting up on the sofa, facing the door, wearing a frustrated expression Yoongi wasn’t used to seeing.

‘You’re avoiding me.’  The words were a statement of fact, the denial died on Yoongi’s lips as soon as it rose.  He was avoiding Taehyung, avoiding exactly what was about to happen.  Rather than answer he toed off his shoes and hung his coat up in the closet.

‘I have been, yes,’ he walked into the living room, hands in the pockets of his jeans.

‘Why,’ there was no hostility in Taehyung’s voice, maybe some hurt, and that was a punch to the gut.  Yoongi never wanted to be the one to hurt Taehyung.

He sighed, ‘Because I’m a coward.’

Taehyung frowned, ‘I’m pretty sure that’s not true.’

It really was but Yoongi was in no mood to argue.  ‘Either way I’m sorry Taehyung-ah, I shouldn’t have avoided you when you asked me to talk.’  He took a deep breath.  ‘What did you want to talk about?’

‘Would you sit with me Hyung?’  Standing would have been easier, as if the physical distance would somehow lessen the pain of what was to come.  Then Taehyung had reached a hand out for him and Yoongi was reminded that he was a weak man already doomed to the depths of special hell.

So he sat, didn’t protest when Taehyung took his hands and pulled them onto his lap, swallowed back his heart when it leapt up in his throat.

‘I can see your mind spinning Hyung, do you trust me?’  Yoongi flinched.  ‘Of course I do.’  Of course he trusted Taehyung, that would never be in question.

‘Then trust me right now, listen to what I have to say.’  So Yoongi listened.

Taehyung told him about how his saving’s had grown, how he had diverted the room and board funds into offsetting loans that had been taken out for school.  Yoongi had been thrilled when school had started and Taehyung had made no mention of moving out, had simply asked Yoongi the quickest route to get to campus from the studio.  

He talked about his ridiculous paycheck from working at Cypher, told him that because someone refused to let him pay for anything he had more money than he knew what to do with.   Yoongi honestly had had no idea where the conversation was going until it crashed headfirst into a wall.

‘Jimin and Kookie are getting a place together, a roommate thing, they asked me if I wanted to go in as a third.’

And Yoongi felt his stomach flip and he instinctively pulled his hands back but Taehyung held on tighter.

‘Hyung, Yoongi-hyung look at me please.’  Yoongi really couldn't not when he would have to say goodbye.  ‘I’m not telling you this to hurt you, I’m not telling you this because I want to say goodbye.’

The way Taehyung could read him still startled Yoongi sometimes.

‘Then what is it Taehyung, why are you telling me how you want to leave?’

Taehyung let out a groan of frustration.

‘I’m not telling you this because I want to leave, I’m telling you this because I want you to know that I could leave.  I’m telling you this because I want to stay.’

The words weren’t registering properly.  Yoongi acknowledged that a part of him had shut down at the thought that Taehyung was leaving him and that part was having trouble keeping up with the rest of what was being said.

‘You want to stay?’  Yoongi had to ask, and was trying to understand.

Taehyung smiled and Yoongi thought that there were tears in his eyes.

‘Hyung I don’t want to leave.’

Yoongi had a thought.

‘But you could if you wanted to.’

Taehyung nodded, his smile beaming.

And hadn’t that been at the heart of why it was complicated, why it was inappropriate, the feeling that Yoongi was taking advantage of Taehyung in a vulnerable situation.

‘Because you’re not in a vulnerable situation anymore.’

The puzzled expression on Taehyung’s face made Yoongi smile, he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

‘No I guess I’m not and that’s why right?’  Taehyung squeezed his hands softly.  ‘That’s why you were keeping distance between us.’

That was exactly why he had kept distance between them.  Yoongi thought about denying it, about letting Taehyung go, they had only known each other three months, who went from strangers to more and lived together?  He didn’t want to let him go though, it wasn't purely selfish, well it was selfish that he wanted Taehyung to stay to not let him go.  But Yoongi didn’t think that Taehyung wanted to be let go and that counted for something, it counted for a lot.

So he could push him away or pull him closer.

There was only one right answer to that question.

‘Yes, that’s why I kept distance between us.’  Taehyung beamed and Yoongi felt something warm uncurl and spread through his chest.

‘But you don’t have to anymore Hyung, do you, you, we can be close now.’  There was the first hint of nerves in his question.  Yoongi was so fond, and cared so much for the bright, brilliant man before him.

October was the month that Yoongi asked if he could kiss Taehyung, if he would stay, if he could hold him, touch him.  

October was the month that Taehyung answered with please, yes, more-more-more.

October would always be Yoongi’s favorite month.

He still hated pumpkin spice.  ‘Come on Hyung it’s not so bad.’  Well it wasn’t so bad when the taste of it was on Taehyung’s lips.