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Siri Tachi was nervous.
Playing the role of stereotypical girl best friend was not what she thought she would ever do in her life as a Jedi, yet here she was, standing at the left wing of a stage and contemplating for the hundredth time why she had agreed to participate in this.
Damn you Obi-Wan.
It had to be his fault. A few months ago, he had approached Siri and implored her to join the cast of the theatrical adaptation of Us Against The Force - the best-selling steamy action-romance novel in the Core that had characters uncomfortably similar to the Jedi, and the Jedi Council’s one true hate - for the Temple’s annual Jedi Knights Drama Night, and Obi-Wan Kenobi never begged. He was on his knees, going on about how they didn’t have a huge pool of Knights to choose from as most had been afraid of reading the book or were concerned with getting in hot water with the council, and why Siri was their only hope and would be the ‘perfect Becky’. While his arguments were compelling, Siri’s refusal to pass off future opportunities to remind Obi-Wan about the time she graciously accepted his desperate pleas was probably the major factor influencing her decision. A time would come when she could properly rub this incident in his face, and she didn't mind waiting.
She did take issue with the fact that she was going to be on stage in front of everyone in a few minutes. Alexa and Benjamin , portrayed by Luminara Unduli and Quinlan Vos respectively, were in the middle of a faux canoodling scene, which meant Becky’s entrance was just a couple of lines away.
A minor supporting character, Becky didn’t have many sentences and essentially served as a null object for Alexa to unravel her feelings towards because subtlety was dead and inference moreso. In Us Against The Force , Becky had the important duty of cheering on Alexa’s dubious decisions, mistaking being obnoxious for individuality, and adding pretty much nothing to the story. The Knight who was in charge of turning the book into a play script decided to take some creative liberties and change up Becky’s character a little. Instead of being a loud, quirky, brunette, Becky would be a loud, quirky blonde.
“Goodbye sweet Benjamin!” Alexa cried out from her lavender settee.
“Fare thee well my love! I shalt seeth thee again tom'rrow in the office break room! ” Benjamin exclaimed as he climbed out of a window (The same Knight who turned Becky into a blonde wanted to spice up the performance by sprinkling in some Old Basic; as to why Benjamin had to leave through the window, that remains unclear to this day).
The sound of a door opening played. That was Siri’s cue. She took in a deep breath. It was showtime.
Prancing onto the stage in an exuberant manner only befitting of the archetypal bestie, Siri delivered her first sentence of the night.
“Hey girl! I’m BACK! Woah oops!” Siri executed a well-rehearsed trip to accentuate Becky’s quirkiness.
“Oh, how clumsy!” Siri looked at the audience as she announced that fact, “But enough about me!” Even though not much had been established about Becky at all.
Turning back to Alexa, she said, “Alexa, BABE, how was your first day of work? Meet any cute guys?” Siri performed a few giggles as she gave the opening for Alexa to proclaim her undying love for Benjamin, the same Benjamin whom she had just met that morning.
“Becky, love I’ve fallen in, with a man named Benjamin; Yet, alas, we must despair, for HR policies do declare; a forbidden love us two souls share!” A single teardrop rolled down Luminara’s pale complexion while a bespectacled Jedi Knight on the front row patted himself on the back for penning such poignant rhymes.
“That’s tragic hun! Surely keeping this in the dark will be a much better idea than bringing up the issue of privacy and employee rights to human resources! You go girl!”
“Oh, Becky! What in the universe would I do without you!” Alexa pulled Becky into a hug.
And with that, Becky had outlived her usefulness to furthering the scene and left the stage.
A crew member gave Siri a thumbs up as she walked past him backstage. She too felt good about her performance, and she wasn't one to be overconfident. In her humble opinion, she found acting to be quite similar to her undercover work, except the stakes were much lower, and there were a lot more rehearsals. The troupe had practiced every other day at the most ungodly hours a few months leading up to the show to prevent the rest of the Temple from catching a sneak peek, and wandering councillors from getting a heart attack. Siri did not recall having a ‘table-read’ or ‘dress-rehearsal’ for her infiltration of Krayn’s crew as Zora. Being Becky, who had prewritten lines and planned-out actions, was consequently a considerably easy task for Siri, and she had enjoyed herself so.
“Great job, Siri!” Quinlan Vos squeezed her arm.
“Thanks! Hey, is Obi-Wan back yet?” Siri asked.
“He’s probably still handling the situation. I’m sure he’ll be here by the end of act two.” Quinlan put a hand on Siri’s shoulder reassuringly, “You should probably get ready for your next scene.”
“Right.” Siri replied. She hoped Quinlan was correct in his assumptions as she had looked forward to seeing Obi-Wan backstage throughout the night. Besides getting Siri involved in the play, he had also helped her with her lines and acting. The two would meet up together outside of formal rehearsals, and Obi-Wan would stand in as Alexa and let Siri do her thing.
She began to wonder what was holding Obi-Wan up, but as a song signalling the end of act one of Us Against The Force: Live at the Temple blasted through the recital hall, she put aside her thoughts and headed to her dressing room to change into a new outfit. While Obi-Wan could afford to be late to the show, Becky certainly could not.
~
“Master Yoda, this isn't necessary.” Obi-Wan said while a string of swears ran through his mind. Thanks to his silver tongue, the group put him in charge of keeping Master Yoda occupied to stop him from attending drama night. When Obi-Wan had designed his distraction for the tiny master, he had expected it to take twenty minutes, which was all he needed seeing that the doors of the hall would have automatically locked themselves by that point. He would then sneak back into the venue via the backstage doors.
Now, thirty minutes after the start of the show, Obi-Wan was somehow still trapped in his diversion. This was not how he had planned for it to play out.
“Needed to talk, you said; Tea, we must have. A necessity, it is.” Master Yoda replied, slowly pouring out hot tea into his and Obi-Wan’s cup. Satisfied with the larger amount he had given young Kenobi, he continued, “Now, talk we can.”
“Well, you see,” Obi-Wan hesitated, trying to think of what to say to bring this exchange to an end.
Obi-Wan probably paused for too long, as the amount of time he had stayed silent had led Master Yoda to his own conclusions.
“A problem, you want to tell me about, Knight Kenobi?” he asked, concern in his voice.
Well, yes, I’d like to know how to get out of this conversation with you. Every minute I spend sitting here is a minute of the show I’m missing out on. Of course, Obi-Wan couldn’t possibly say that to the Grandmaster. Fortunately, a brilliant idea came to mind. He would just claim that he suddenly remembered Anakin needed him for something . A Padawan was truly a useful tool.
“Master Yoda, actually, I-” Obi-Wan started, but the nine-hundred-year-old cut in.
“Problems of the heart, you have?” Master Yoda inquired.
“Wha- I beg your pardon Master?” he nearly lost his grip on his ceramic cup.
Going through Anakin’s homework was completely pushed out of Obi-Wan’s mind. He still wanted to see the play but he would have to unpack Master Yoda’s statement first.
“Master Yoda, I pray that you take no offense, but that is an inaccurate and baseless assessment.” he stated defensively.
“Wrong, you say. Yet Knight Tachi, at strange times, I see you with.” Master Yoda pointed a crooked finger at the aghast Jedi.
Seeing Siri and I together at strange times? What on Coruscant is he talking about? Realization dawned on Obi-Wan.
“Master, I’m afraid you’ve misread the situation.”
"Seen, with my own eyes I have." Yoda retorted.
"Master, we were-" he was going to tell him about practicing with Siri for the Temple Drama Night. Admittedly, they did take place at odd hours, and yes, only the two of them were present, but he swore on the force that they were entirely platonic affairs, hell, chaste even. Except that one time when they might have started making out with each other, but that, Obi-Wan rationalized, was an indisputable, honest-to-god, accident. The room was dark and it was late and- Obi-Wan stopped mentally going through his explanation for that incident. It completely made sense anyway, and revisiting it would just be reaffirming how cogent it was, a conclusion he had reached many times prior. Turning back to his current predicament would be far more sensible.
He couldn't tell Master Yoda about their drama practices, as that would lead into a conversation on what the play was about. Then, induced by outrage, the tiny master would drop his teacup onto the floor, smashing it into a million pieces, and Obi-Wan did not want to clean up broken shards of ceramic. Also, Master Yoda would without a doubt go and put a stop to their performance, locked doors futile against fuming masters, and he couldn't let that happen. The troupe deemed it their duty to spread the tale of Us Against The Force to Knights who didn't have the privilege of reading it firsthand. Whether or not they could fulfill their obligation, now rested in Obi-Wan's hands.
He would take one for the team. Obi-Wan would make up a situation of an attachment to Siri Tachi so Master Yoda and him would have something to discuss and rectify for the purpose of ending this talk and avoiding ire.
If the recording of the play turns out shaky I will be tremendously disappointed.
"Master Yoda, I have-" He sighed to feign emotion and because he couldn't believe that the next words were going to come out of his mouth, "feelings for Knight Tachi."
Master Yoda nodded for him to go on.
Obi-Wan thought about how to proceed. What would a man in such a situation be thinking? How would he feel? What would he say? Maybe, maybe he would be thinking about her laugh and her attitude; and how he felt lighter when he was around her; and he would say he didn't understand why such warmth would be forbidden for a Je- corporate mercenary!
Benjamin fit the role perfectly! Hiding a prohibited love, torn between his heart and his duty, a Jedi dealing with attachment would probably feel the exact same way.
"Whenever I'm with her, everything just seems brighter, clearer," Us Against The Force Chapter 5: Confessions - waiting in a hangar with Siri and the sky outside somehow just looked bluer - " I just like being with her." Benjamin tells his friends about Alexa - revelation from a three am introspection when he couldn't sleep; decided it was the insomnia speaking after waking up - " And I understand the dangers of attachment," Benjamin doesn't want to get fired - the Code - " But I can't help the way I feel."
Master Yoda stroked his chin with a finger, “Dangers of attachments, you know. The Jedi way, it is not. Care for Knight Tachi, you should; attach yourself to her, you should not. Meditate on this now, you must.” The small master tapped Obi-Wan’s knee twice with his gimer stick, which was a silent message to him to carry out his advice expediently.
The conversation was over, he could leave. The play was no longer in jeopardy, and if he speedwalked he could probably make it to the recital hall in time for the fourth act, which featured a spectacular, action-packed office fight scene he sorely did not want to miss. Also, he had promised Siri he would be supporting her backstage all night long, and he was a man of his word.
As he sped down the hallway, he applauded himself for portraying the role of a tormented lover so convincingly that he had necessitated such worry in Master Yoda’s speech. He thanked Us Against The Force for providing him with the right muse, and ignored the passing voice in the back of his head remarking that he hadn't needed any inspiration at all.
The irony of pretending to be a distressed Knight with an attachment to save a theater production about an illicit romance was not lost on Obi-Wan. He was also deeply amused by the fact that he too had done some acting on Drama Night.
Satisfied with his splendid performance, Obi-Wan was certain no council member would be barging into the recital hall tonight. The show would go on.
~
“Alexa, are you alright? Did you get hurt?” Siri put her hand on Luminara’s shoulder.
“No Becky, I cast the be-gone spell and pushed them out of the way.”
“Thank goodness you’re fine!” She superfluously flung herself at Alexa.
"Becky, I need some time alone to process what just happened." Alexa wiggled out of Becky's hold.
"Of course. Guess I'll see you once it's all over. Bye girl!"
Becky's farewell to Alexa might as well have been directed to the audience. Siri was done with all her cues, lines and emotes for the night, and she strutted her way off stage.
Ducking behind a side curtain, she scanned the backstage area for signs of Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Knight she had been waiting for all night. Fortunately for Siri, she did not have to search long, as a few seconds after she began her perusal, the subject decided to show up himself.
"Siri! You nailed it!"
Turning around, Siri was face to face with none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi. He had escaped the clutches of Master Yoda, and had made it all in one piece to the recital hall.
"Obi-Wan! I've been waiting for you all night! When did you get here?" She asked.
"In the middle of the office brawl. I’m glad I didn't miss it. You did such a good job bringing Becky to life, I knew you would be a good choice, cause you’re a great actress, not because I wanted to spend more time with you, I mean, we’re good friends of course- I digress. Your performance, yes! I'm sure everyone across the room related to their friendship, no, felt, their bond . This is some powerful stuff Siri!" He excitedly rambled, moving his arms around a bit too fast for normal conversation.
Obi-Wan Kenobi was a man of snark, not praise. Occasions that would warrant undisciplined blather from Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi were never pleasant ones. The delight Siri felt from his laudations was quickly replaced with concern.
“Obi-Wan, slow down. Are you alright?” Siri put a hand on his shoulders, which he shrugged off immediately.
“Spiffing. Fit as a fiddle.” He clasped his hands together, “Oh! Final scene coming up, we certainly can’t miss that.” He hastily stepped closer to the wing of the stage, tilting his neck more aggressively than needed to peer through the side curtains.
“Obi-Wan.” Siri noticed some noise coming from the direction of the backstage door across the dimly lit room.
“Siri, ssh! It’s happening!”
“Obi-Wan.”
“Benjamin and Alexa are declaring their undying love to each other, Siri!” he whisper-shouted.
“Obi-Wan, someone’s trying to open the backstage door.” Siri spun Obi-Wan around and pointed to a vigorously shaking door handle a couple metres away.
“We’re not expecting anyone else, are we?” Obi-Wan questioned.
“No, we’re not.” Siri calmly replied.
A few seconds of silence hung in the air while the two Knights stared at the rattling door handle.
“Locked, this door should not be.”
Though muffled, the voice that cut through the air left no room for doubt. Notions of it being a Padawan trying to sneak in, or a Knight arriving late to the party were thrown out. What lay behind the door ranked above Sith Lords on this year’s list of people not to be present at the annual temple drama night. A council member was here, and not just any council member, but the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order.
“Obi-Wan, I’ll go and close the side curtain to the stage. You go turn on the lights, and stand in front of the door to be ready to greet Master Yoda after he finishes picking through the lock.” Siri directed in hushed tones.
Siri pulled on the velvet drapes with great precision, quickly concealing the view of two Knights mid-embrace on the center of the stage. The noise level in the room immediately took a reduction. Siri internally appreciated that the curtains were thick enough to muffle the kissing sounds coming from the stage.
The backstage door flung open, freezing Obi-Wan to the spot, which unfortunately for the two Knights, was halfway to the light switch. Blanketed in darkness, the lights coming from the corridor illuminated the two-foot form of the unwelcome visitor.
The knights held their breaths as the silhouette took a step into the room. All they could do was watch while the shadow lifted up his walking stick to the light switch panel on the wall by the side of the door.
A deliberated tap brought the room’s lights to life.
Master Yoda’s eyes flicked between the two knights, inspecting the scene before him.
"Knight Kenobi, to meditate, I thought I told you."
Master Yoda’s implications were made very clear to Obi-Wan, but Siri, who was unaware of what had transpired in Master Yoda’s quarters a few scenes ago, was unfortunately clueless.
Unknowingly misreading the room and seeing Obi-Wan still stuck in a motionless state, Siri took charge of the situation. "Master Yoda! What a surprise seeing you here! And um, yeah, Obi-Wan was just about to leave and go meditate.” she said, making some not-so-subtle gestures at Obi-Wan to play along.
"Maybe meditate you should too, Knight Tachi." Master Yoda raised an eyebrow at her.
Siri cast a confused look at Obi-Wan, wondering what meditation had to do with anything.
While Siri was befuddled by Master Yoda’s remarks, Obi-Wan was not. Not only did he understand them, he was also extremely aware that Master Yoda finding the two of them in a dark, secluded room behind locked doors did not paint them in a good light.
"Well, I- I guess I’ll join Obi-Wan for meditation later then. Right, Obi-Wan?" She gave him an opening to back her up.
"Knight Tachi, talk we should in the future. Kenobi, come with you I shall. Meditate alone , you will." Master Yoda swatted at Obi-Wan's legs with his walking stick, forcing him to move towards the door.
"Master Yoda, this is a misunderstanding.” Obi-Wan said with all the earnestness he could muster.
“Hear no more, I will. Back to your room, you will go. Meditate, you shall. Behaved uncouthly, you have. Watch you, I will.” the Master firmly stated, all the while prodding Obi-Wan forward towards the hallway, leaving a wide-eyed, addled Siri Tachi alone backstage.
Siri felt that there was more to the exchange than what was said out loud. She was also certain that she was missing context for what bestowed Obi-Wan with “uncouth” as a description.
As the backstage door slammed shut, Siri sighed and stepped back to the curtain, thinking about the previous conversation, and thanking that the Grandmaster hadn’t caught on to what was playing out on stage.
“I love you, Alexa.” he announced to the world.
“Oh, sweet Benjamin. I love you too!” Luminara wrapped her arms around Quinlan.
Waves of cheers and applause came from the audience, with a few overly enthusiastic hoots and whistles filling up the recital hall. Benjamin pulled Alexa in for a striking kiss as the stage curtains began to descend, and the orchestral music in the background blared out its ending high note. The spectating Knights stood up from their seats and clapped like they never had before.
Us Against the Force: Live at the Temple was a success.
~
Siri set her tray down onto the corner table in the canteen. As a Knight, though she had the option of eating outside the temple or within her own quarters, the kitchen was serving pizza today and she wasn't going to be that Jedi who missed out on free pizza.
Picking up a perfect triangle of pepperoni and melted cheese, she bit into it with great joy and enthusiasm.
"Mind if I join you?" A voice asked, despite the owner of said voice already having sat down across Siri.
"Obi-Wan! I haven't seen you since drama night. What happened?" Siri said between bites.
"I, uh, well I've been stuck in my room going through meditation poses, as instructed, no, demanded by Master Yoda." He gave out a sad chuckle.
"For two days?" She gasped in horror.
"Yes, no breaks either. 'Rest, meditation already is.'" He waved a fork in the air while trying to imitate the Grandmaster.
"What did you do Kenobi?" Siri placed a caring hand on his shoulder, though the smile on her face may have given away that she was in actuality quite amused by the mess her friend had gotten himself into.
Obi-Wan let out a heavy sigh, “Take a guess.”
“You let Anakin fix the plumbing again instead of going to the maintenance team?”
“No, and that only happened once and for good reason. Do you know how many forms you have to fill in to get them to come and just look at the pipes?”
“Was it- wait, I think I’ve got it! You were sent to distract Master Yoda! That’s it, right?” Siri stood up from her seat in excitement. A defeated groan from Obi-Wan confirmed her thought.
“What happened? What went wrong? Tell me everything!” she sat back down and rested her arms on the table, ready to yank every piece of this tale from Obi-Wan.
“Well, I went to him and talked to him a bit about Force philosophy. You know how much Master Yoda loves discussing that. Then one thing led to another, and I somehow ended up in his quarters with a tea cup in my hand and,” Obi-Wan hesitated, “and well, he asked me the strangest of all questions, and I guess my answer wasn’t satisfactory, which prompted him to give me the good ole meditation treatment.” He let out a shaky laugh.
“What did he ask you?”
“It’s funny you ask, it’s kinda related to you actually. Don’t freak out, this is going to sound crazy but I promise you it’s real. Master Yoda insisted that we have an attachment to each other due to seeing us spending a lot of time together , which as we both know were drama rehearsals, but I couldn’t possibly tell him that and blow the play up, so I just ran with it. ” Obi-Wan said in a single streak.
Siri sat on her chair stunned. This was not the story she was expecting, and to have unwittingly been a part of the narrative was even more shocking. It did help her understand why Obi-Wan had been sentenced to intense meditation though.
“You’re not mad, are you? I’m sorry you got involved. Master Yoda brought the whole topic up and I tried my best to diffuse the situation,” Obi-Wan explained, “It’s hilarious though, imagine you and I being attached to each other, it’s a ridiculous thought.”
“Right. You and I together, that’s just crazy.” Siri agreed a little too quickly.
“I know! Don’t know where he got it from.” Obi-Wan exasperatedly spoke.
Siri let out a snicker, “Maybe he’s been reading Us Against The Force .”
“Oh Siri, do mind your irreverence.” he cheekily replied.
“Force, I’m just envisioning Master Yoda reading the smut.” she couldn’t help saying.
“Siri! There are younglings around!” Obi-Wan said, through there was an obvious grin on his face.
The two Knights broke into uncontrolled laughter for a little while, images of Council Members secretly enjoying the book in their heads.
“Well, as one of the actresses, I thank you for your sacrifice.” Siri managed to say once she had calmed down.
“I live to serve.” Obi-Wan cocked his head at her.
“I’m sorry you missed the finale.” Siri said apologetically.
“I can always watch it from the recording. At least we had no interruptions from council members.” he shrugged.
“If Master Yoda had stayed backstage for a bit longer we sure would have had quite the predicament to deal with.” Siri pointed out.
“Let’s be glad he didn’t. After all, the show must go on.” Obi-Wan stated.
Siri picked up her glass of water and tilted it towards Obi-Wan, “Indeed my friend, the show must go on.”
And it did.