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Part 5 of The Parallel Variations
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2020-09-11
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2021-05-16
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Coffee Cups and Teething Toys

Summary:

In May, Katherine Pulitzer split up with David Jacobs, leaving him to raise their daughter by himself.
In August, David's best friend turns up on his doorstep.

Notes:

This is the second of what's looking like three birthday present fics for myself! I couldn't resist doing a Near Miss spinoff for one of these, so here's a story thread somebody asked me about - what would it have been like if Benny and David had moved in together after Kate left David, and they raised Leah together? This was really fun to explore, I just love these boys so much <3

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Benny has always expressed his love for people by showing up to spend time with them with food or drinks for them. It’s a win-win – quality time, and gift giving. Specifically caregiving, useful gift giving.

Which is why he has a to-go cup from Starbucks in one hand, and a baby toy (a butterfly with wings that make crinkly noises) in the other. Because he can’t give a five-month-old infant coffee.

He’s stood on this doorstep at least a dozen times, always with some kind of drink or treat in hand, but this time feels monumentally important. He’s almost sure he’s forgotten how to breathe.

Before he can talk himself out of it, he rings the doorbell.

The door opens a few moments later, revealing a woman with dark hair just a little bit taller than Benny. She’s wearing an oversized Niles North volleyball t-shirt, tied in a knot at the side over denim shorts.

“Ben?” Sarah Jacobs says, surprised.

“Is David here, Sar?” Benny asks. He’s a little bit shocked by how even his voice comes out.

“He’s upstairs,” says Sarah. “He’s – he hasn’t been doing so great, Ben.”

“I’m not surprised,” says Benny. “Is he in your room?”

Sarah shakes her head. “He and Leah have collectively taken over the guest room. It’s across the hall from Les’s.”

Benny nods. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

She steps aside, letting Benny into the house. He makes a beeline for the stairs, taking them two at a time. By the time he’s upstairs, he can hear the baby making little noises, and follows the sound to the bedroom at the end of the hall. The door is open, but he taps on the doorframe anyway to announce his presence.

David, who’s sitting on the corner of the bed holding his daughter, looks up. It’s only been a little shy of two months since Benny saw him last, but he looks like an entirely different person. He looks exhausted, a bone-deep tired that Benny has an instinctive feeling runs deeper than just caring for the baby.

“Benny?” David says softly.

“Hey, Dave,” says Benny. “I brought’cha somethin’.”

“Of course you did,” says David. Even from here, Benny can see tears welling up in his eyes.

“I brought something for the little bean, too,” Benny says, holding up the crinkly butterfly. It’s a favorite of hers that had been left behind in the New York apartment. Benny brought a lot of things that hadn’t made it into David’s bags in May.

“Of course you did,” David says again, almost achingly fond.

Benny crosses the room in four steps, setting David’s coffee on the dresser and lifting Leah out of his arms with practiced ease. “Hey, baby girl. I’ve missed you.”

Leah coos, reaching for Benny’s face.

“Why are you here, Benny?” David asks.

Benny looks up from Leah, meeting David’s eye. “Where else would I be, David? I’m not leaving you to do this alone.”

There were tears in David’s eyes already, but now they spill over, rolling freely down his cheeks.

“You don’t have to –“

“Yes, I do,” Benny interrupts firmly. “Because you are my best friend and I love you and I love Leah, and I am not going to let Kate ruin your whole life, okay?”

“I’m not moving back to New York,” David says.

“I have a job lined up here,” Benny replies. “And a lead on an apartment in Roger’s Park. Only two bedrooms, but it’s not like you and I haven’t shared a room before.”

“I can’t ask you to live with me and my baby daughter, Benny,” says David, shaking his head.

Benny rolls his eyes, looking down at Leah again. “Your daddy has gotten worse at his listening comprehension since you two moved away, hasn’t he, Leah-beah?”

“Benny –“

“What do you think, baby girl? You wanna go back to living with Uncle Benny?” Benny continues, bouncing her gently in his arms and winning a little giggle from her. He smiles softly at David again, letting some of the sadness that’s been weighing him down since graduation bleed through it. “I told you months ago, David, I’m with you whatever happens. If that means helping you raise this little angel because Kate ain’t up to it, then I’m there if you want me.”

“If you’re sure?” David says, a little skeptical.

“As hell,” says Benny.

“Okay,” says David. He stands and wraps his arms around Benny and Leah. “Okay.”

--

The apartment they move into isn’t huge. They outfit the larger of the two bedrooms with two twin beds, which closes in the space that much more but is honestly shockingly comforting in its familiarity. Leah gets the other room, and Benny and David throw their all into making it a nice little nursery that won’t be too hard to convert around as she gets older.

They’re across the hall from two of Benny’s high school friends, who just had a baby of their own. Benny isn’t surprised that Spot and Race hit it off with David almost immediately, and the four of them spend many an evening together watching tv and eating takeout (or, increasingly often, food they’ve actually cooked in one of their kitchens).

Leah is fascinated by Spot and Race’s son Frankie, too. He’s still new-new, just a little shy of five weeks to Leah’s six-and-a-half months when the newly minted Jacobs-Davenport family moves in. They’re too far apart developmentally to really socialize yet, but Leah seems to recognize Frankie as another baby and will watch him all the time given the opportunity.

“So how’d you end up involved in all this?” Spot asks Benny one night while David is out with some of his new coworkers. They haven’t really talked a ton about David’s background with the Higgins-Conlons, to this point. Benny considers for a moment before responding, not sure exactly how much David would want him to share.

“David is my best friend,” Benny says. This, he’s told Spot and Race before. “We were assigned each other as freshman year roommates and the rest is history, I guess.”

“You’re helping him raise a baby,” says Spot, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, well, that decision wasn’t exactly hard,” says Benny. He hugs Leah a little closer as he walks around the room, trying to rock her to sleep. “Beah’s mom broke his heart and obliterated our friend group. It was a rough couple’a months for all of us right after, but – at the end of the day, I just couldn’t let David do this by himself. I love him too much for that.”

“You –“

“Not like that,” Benny says, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “He’s my best friend.”

“Tony was my best friend,” Spot points out, “and now he’s my husband.”

Benny shakes his head, bouncing Leah in silence for another moment. “It’s not like that. I just didn’t want him to be alone.”

“Whatever you say.”

--

It is the inaugural Jacobs-Davenport-Higgins-Conlon Non-Denominational Winter Holiday Family Celebration, so named by one Anthony “Racetrack” Higgins-Conlon, bane of Benny’s existence.

(That’s not quite true, Ben is actually quite fond of Race, but Race refuses to acknowledge when any of them try to shorten the name of this event, which was kind of funny at first but now Ben is faced with the reality of this potentially being a yearly event and even acronymizing it to JDHCNDWHFC is not really an improvement.)

Also, somehow the four of them and their two kids have become a little bit of one family, which Benny didn’t expect even knowingly moving in across the hall from Spot and Race.

Anyway, it’s December fourteenth and Benny is sitting on the floor in his and David’s apartment with a just-opened present for Leah in his lap while David holds his daughter, who is delightedly playing with a scrap of wrapping paper and utterly fascinating Frankie with the sound. It’s been a really nice day, all told. They’ve made cookies and watched some ancient animated Christmas specials and they’re helping the babies open presents now.

Both David and Benny got a little emotional this morning when a package from Bill and Darcy had arrived, containing two neatly wrapped gifts for Leah and one small gift each for Benny and David.

“Beh-beh-beh,” Leah says, reaching for Benny.

“Did she just say –“ Race says, his eyebrows scraping his hairline. Leah’s been chatty for a while now, but this is the first time something she’s said has sounded so distinctly intentional.

“Beh-beh,” Leah repeats, a little more firmly this time. She makes a little grabby gesture.

“Are you saying Ben, Leah?” David asks, bouncing her on his knee. “Ben?”

“Beh-beh,” Leah says.

“Oh my God,” says Benny. “David, I think I edged you out for first word. C’mere, baby girl.” He lifts Leah out of David’s hands, shifting her into his own lap instead after nudging the stuffed bear he’d been holding out of the way.

“It’s a JDHCNDWHFC miracle,” Spot says, laughing.

“We can work on Dada next,” Benny says. He kisses the top of Leah’s head.

David sticks his tongue out. “She just hears your name more often than mine, since I’m always saying Benny all exasperated.”

Benny laughs. “Sure, that’s why. Leah-beah, can you say Dada, you’re being silly?”

“Dada,” Leah replies, nodding.

“Two for one!” Race says with a laugh. “Okay, okay, you three. Get together, if ever there’s a time for a family photo, this is it.”

It’s not a very polished photo, Leah isn’t looking even remotely in the direction of the camera and both David and Benny are laughing so hard there are tears in their eyes, but Benny loves it. He makes it his profile picture on facebook, he gets it printed and framed to hang on the wall in the living room, he sends a copy to his mom.

(He sends it, neutrally captioned with Happy Holidays, to the NY Crew group chat they never use anymore. He knows Kate sees it, but only Bill and Darcy respond.)

--

Darcy and Bill insist on flying in for Leah’s first birthday.

Tears are shed.

They get along with Race and Spot – who, more and more, Benny is finding himself thinking of by their actual given names – to an almost comical degree.

Leah is a little nervous around them at first, which is more than understandable given that it’s been nine months since she saw them last. She shows off her new skills to anyone who’ll listen, though, and Darcy and Bill’s utter delight at her three words (“Beh” and “Dada” having been joined by “no” in January) endears them to her very quickly.

The absence of Kate is unavoidably felt, but they avoid discussing it at every possible turn.

Ultimately, it’s too short a time before the boys have to make their way home. It comes with a promise, though.

“We’ll be back,” Darcy says firmly.

“Soon,” Bill adds.

“In April.”

“You don’t have to come for my birthday,” David says, but they’re shaking their heads already.

“We’re coming,” Bill says, his arms crossed. “We miss you guys too much to stay that far for long.”

And that’s that on that, really.

--

Some nights sharing a room with David feels more like a childhood sleepover than others.

They’re few and far between – especially with the two of them having lived together fully five years now – but there are nights when they’re awake just too late and the moonlight is creeping in through the window just so, and it draws out an urge to spill their secrets. Not that there are many secrets left to spill.

“You’d think I’d love her less, by now,” David mumbles into the darkness one of those nights.

“You don’t get to decide that kind of thing,” Benny replies.

David hums. “Still fuckin’ sucks.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it does.”

“Do you ever regret moving in with us, Ben?” asks David. “Cuts into your chances to find somebody of your own, doesn’t it? You deserve better than being stuck with your hopeless, broken friend for the rest of your life.”

“I chose this,” Benny reminds him gently. “And I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“But Ben –“

“I don’t think I really swing that way, anyway,” Benny says, barely audible.

“What way?”

“Uh, any way.” Benny rolls onto his side, facing David in the darkness. He can just make out the shape of his friend across the room. “I think I’m aromantic, David.”

“Oh,” says David. “Okay.”

“Yeah,” says Benny. “So, like. This? Deeply committed non-romantic partnership? Not to be weird, Dave, but you’re kinda it for me.”

“I love you, too, Benny,” David says quietly.

Benny knows there’s always a chance David will find someone else – someone he loves the other way – and he could fall to the wayside. He wouldn’t blame David for that.

But for now, this – this is enough.

--

David meets Jack for the first time that summer, at Frankie’s first birthday party.

Benny is honestly a little surprised they haven’t run across each other before now; there is no shortage of connections between the two of them.

There’s Benny himself, obviously. David’s life partner and Jack’s high school ex.

But there’s also Sean, Jack’s brother and one of David’s closest friends.

And Tony, Jack’s other high school ex and brother-in-law and also one of David’s closest friends.

And then it gets even weirder, because Charlie Morris (Jack’s other-other high school ex, current roommate and best friend) works with David at Reid.

And weirder still, David’s twin sister Sarah dated Jack, too.

(Good lord.)

Jack flirts with David exactly as much as Benny always expected that he would. He backs off somewhat when he realizes that David is a dad, that the eighteen-month-old toddling circles around Frankie on the floor is his, but the intent is still there.

David is having none of it, though. Every flirtatious comment is met with little to no response at best and near-panicked glances Benny’s way at worst.

“Hey, lay off’im, Cowboy,” Benny says after the fourth or fifth such nervous look. He drops onto the couch next to David and sort of draping himself across David’s shoulders.

“Shit, sorry, are you two actually together?” Jack asks, looking from one to the other of them.

“Yes!” David blurts, leaning back onto Benny a little. “Yes. That.”

Benny chuckles. Yeah, okay. “I thought maybe living together and raising a baby might’a given that one away.”

“Right,” says Jack. “Sorry.”

“Sorry,” David murmurs to Benny when Jack’s been distracted away by Sean. “I panicked.”

“It’s okay,” says Benny. “Are you okay? We can duck home for a bit.”

“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” says David. “I just – the idea of getting caught up with somebody romantically again is – is fucking terrifying, honestly.”

Benny nods, touching his forehead to David’s temple. “Yeah, I get that. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

“I’m fine,” David says again. “Thank you, Ben. Love you.”

“Love you.”

--

A few days before the second annual JDHCNDWHFC, Sarah decides it’s time to introduce her brother to her new girlfriend. This endeavor entails showing up on their doorstep one afternoon, new girlfriend in tow, and declaring it high time the two of them meet.

And so, in the middle of their gift wrapping marathon, in walks Sarah Jacobs.

Trailed by none other than –

“Kate?” Benny says before he can stop himself.

Sarah and Kate both stop dead, just inside the doorway.

“What?” says Sarah, at the same moment that Kate says, “Oh, fuck.”

Sarah whips around to look at Kate. “What?”

“Hey, Katie,” David says tiredly.

“What?” Sarah says again. “You three know each other?”

Benny snorts. “You’ve got no idea, Sar-bear.”

“Hi David,” Kate says. She’s gone really pale, but she’s got a pretty believable smile on her face. “Benny.”

“Hey Katie-girl,” says Benny. He feels a little bit like the floor has fallen out underneath him, but his voice comes out remarkably even. “Long time no see, eh?”

“Yeah,” Kate replies. “I – yeah.”

Benny has been struck by a sudden urge to either scream for a little while or maybe throw up, so he makes the executive decision to duck out for a moment.

“Hey, I’m gonna –“ Benny says, then he pauses. He moves over to David, positioning himself so that his body cuts of David’s line of sight to Kate. In a much lower voice, he says, “Hey, babe, you okay?”

David nods.

“Will you be okay if I step out for a sec?”

David nods again.

“I’m gonna take Leah next door.”

“Please,” says David. He’s holding her, clutching her against his chest like he’s afraid Kate will try to take her from him. But at Benny’s words he relaxes a little, and he lets Benny lift her out of his arms without a fuss.

“I’ll be right back,” Benny says, and then he hightails it the fuck out of there.

“To what do we owe the –“ Tony starts to say as Ben bursts through their door, but he falls silent when he actually takes in Ben’s frantic appearance. “Shit, Ben, is everything okay over there?”

“No,” says Benny. “No. Everything is a mess right now and – can you guys take Leah for a bit?”

“Yeah,” says Tony. He takes Leah out of Benny’s arms. “Yeah, of course. Ben, what’s wrong?”

“Sarah’s new girlfriend is Leah’s mom,” Benny tells him. “And I – fuck, I’ve gotta go back, David’s probably a mess. Can I just scream into a pillow for a sec first, though?”

“Shit,” Tony says again. “Yeah, go ham.”

Benny nods and snags a pillow off of the couch. He smushes it against his face and screams out a little bit of his stress before tossing the pillow back and walking as casually as possible back to the Jacobs-Davenport apartment.

David, Sarah, and Kate are all sitting when he walks back into their living room. Sarah and Kate are on the couch and David is on his favorite chair. They’re talking in low voices and the tension is almost tangible.

Benny perches on the arm of David’s chair.

“How’s it going, doll?” Benny asks, tracing little circles on David’s upper back with his fingernails.

“I feel like it could be going significantly worse,” says David.

“Good,” says Benny. “How far did you get?”

“Just that we were school friends.”

“Do you want me to do the hard part?”

“Ben –“

“You can’t just let this slide, Dave, Sarah deserves to know the whole story.”

“The whole story?” Sarah interrupts.

“It’s fine, David,” Kate says quietly.

“You don’t get an opinion,” Benny says coldly.

“I don’t understand what’s happening here,” says Sarah. “Ben, what’s the issue?”

He looks at David. David looks at him.

“Kate is my ex-girlfriend, Sar,” David says. “She’s Leah’s mom.”

“Sorry, what?” says Sarah, stunned. “Kath, you’re what?”

“Leah’s mother,” Kate confirms, her voice smaller and sadder than Benny has ever heard it. “David –“

“You almost ruined everything, Kate,” says David. “Did you know that? I stopped talking to fucking everyone after you left me. I moved back here and I was going to – to cut myself off from the whole world. I got so fucking lucky that Ben –“ He falters, glancing up at Benny. “Well. I’m just lucky I’ve got Ben.”

Benny leans over, completely indifferent to the girls’ presence, and kisses the top of David’s head. “I’m lucky to have you, too, Davey.”

“God, I knew it,” Kate says quietly. “You two –“

“It’s not like that, Katie,” says David. “It never was and it’s never going to be.”

“That said,” Benny says, “fuck you.”

“Ben,” David says, his tone warning.

“I’m just saying. If after everything she pulled she’s gonna start accusing you of not being invested in the relationship she can fuck all the way off.”

David’s mouth sets into a thin line for a moment, not quite a frown but not a happy expression by any means. Then he looks back at Kate. “He’s right. Fuck you.”

“David!” Sarah says, startled.

“I think you two should go,” says Benny.

“We should talk –“

“David –“

“No, you should go,” David agrees. “We can talk another time, Sar, I – I cannot even fucking begin to deal with this right now.”

“David, I’m sorry,” Kate says.

“Great!” says Benny. “Come back when you’re sorry for doing it, not just sorry for accidentally dating his sister.”

Sarah makes a choked little noise, and Kate just stares at him in shock.

The girls leave without any more fight, but they aren’t holding hands anymore.

“We might’a just broken them up,” Benny observes. He feels like he should care – if only because Sarah is a lovely girl who’s never done anything to offend him – but he kind of doesn’t.

“I don’t care,” says David. He sounds tired. “Let’s just – let’s go next door and play with our daughter and get takeout and not – not think about this for a long time.”

Our daughter. It’s not the first time David’s called Leah that, but Benny is extremely aware of it just now in the immediate wake of hurricane Katie.

“That sounds great, Dave.”

--

Sarah and Kate don’t end up splitting up, but there’s something different about both of them the next time Benny sees them together.

Which happens to be at Leah’s second birthday party.

“Did you invite her on purpose or did Sar just bring her?” Benny asks David quietly.

“I invited her,” says David. “It felt weird knowing she was in town and not.”

“You’re a weird guy, David,” says Benny. He gives David a quick one-armed hug. “Well, if you’re okay, I’m okay. She’d better’a brought a killer present, though.”

David snorts. “Yeah, okay.”

“Hey!” says Benny, grinning, “I’m just saying, if she’s gonna give up her family so daddy doesn’t cut her off, the least she can do is put some of that money to good use.”

“It was more complicated than that,” David says, shaking his head. “You know that.”

“Yeah, I know,” says Benny. “I still don’t understand it, but I know.”

“Hey, I got you out of the deal,” David says, a weak smile on his face. “That’s something, right?”

“Oh, Davey,” Benny says. He pats David’s cheek. “You already had me.”

“Yeah,” says David. “I know.”

--

Benny spends the next few years always sort of wondering where the end point will be.

He loves David – loves him as much as he’s ever going to love anyone, not quite like a brother but definitely like family – but he knows as much as David loves him, too, that same way, there’s always a chance he’ll fall in love properly with somebody else. Ben wouldn’t stand in the way of that, if it happened, but he’d be pretty damned protective after what happened last time.

But it just sort of doesn’t.

David’s little brother comes to live with them through college, on their pull out couch in the living room, further closing in David’s potential dating prospects.

(Benny loves Les. He’s a little shit, and he has a similar sense of humor to Benny’s own, and he never hesitates to offer to look after Leah for a night so David and Benny can get out of the house for a while.)

After a few years, David finally agrees to go on a few tentative dates with Jack Kelly, but it doesn’t quite go anywhere. David doesn’t really seem too broken up about it not working out, and Benny is quietly relieved.

“I don’t know,” David says one evening. They’re sitting cross-legged on their beds, folding laundry. David is doing the lights, Benny the darks. “I’m happy with how things are, you know? I’ve got a nice little family, and I don’t need a romantic partner to complete that. I’ve got you.”

“And I’m not going anywhere,” Benny replies. “Love you, bud.”

“Love you, too.”

There’s a sound, sort of like very small thunder, as two four year olds hurl themselves around the doorframe into their room.

“Dad,” Leah says. “Benny. Is it true we’re gonna see dinos tomorrow?”

“Did Uncle Les spoil the surprise?” Benny asks, leaning back so he can see into the living room a little. Les isn’t in his line of sight.

Frankie shakes his head emphatically. “No, it was Poppa.”

David laughs. “Of course it was. Yeah, we’re going to the museum tomorrow. Do you know where your dino shirts are?”

Leah runs over to Benny’s bed and points to the stack of tiny four-year-old shirts he’s been working on. “Floss-uh-raptor was in the laundry.”

“Yeah, I’ve got it, Bean,” says Benny. He reaches over and ruffles her hair. “Hey, we’re almost done folding. How ‘bout you two go get the audience ready for movie night?”

With that, the kids are gone. David and Benny don’t rush through finishing the folding, but they don’t return to their previous topic of conversation.

Movie nights are easy and routine, domestic to a degree that almost aches on the nights when Benny lets himself worry about the permanence of it all. Tonight isn’t one of those nights, though.

He claims his favorite spot on the couch, and David pulls some pillows onto the floor to sit by his feet next to the kids. Les has permanent claim on the big armchair. There are stuffed animals lining the rest of the couch and the other chair, Leah and Frankie’s “audience.”

David leans back against Benny’s legs, and it’s comfortable and familiar. They’ve sat like this a thousand times – even all the way back to the apartment they’d shared with Bill and Darcy in college.

Their little family is odd, maybe, a set of platonic life partners raising a kid together, now featuring a teenage brother. Benny doesn’t fear for the permanency of it anymore. With every passing day, he’s more and more sure that this is what his life will look like for a very long time.

This wasn’t the plan. It wasn’t David’s plan and it certainly wasn’t Benny’s.

Well, not quite. Benny’s plans changed the summer after graduation. He thinks about that day sometimes, the day he’d flown home to stay. He thinks about standing on David’s parents’ doorstep, a coffee in his hand and his heart in his throat. He’d completely redirected their lives that day.

He wouldn’t change a moment of it.

Chapter 2

Notes:

This has been a work-in-progress for approximately eight hundred years, but it's finally done. Please enjoy my extremely self-indulgent au-of-an-au, chapter 2.

Chapter Text

Sarah and Katherine’s engagement, when Leah is four years old, comes as a surprise to no one.

It does, however, come with Les taking one look at Benny and David and taking Leah out for ice cream to give them some time to process it.

“Hey, babe,” Benny says, dropping onto the couch next to David. “How’s it goin’?”

“Fine,” says David. He picks at the cuff of his jeans where his leg is curled next to him. “Fine, I mean, it’s not like I – they’ve been together two years, and they’re happy, of course they’re getting married.”

“How are you?”

“I don’t know,” David admits. He looks up, meeting Benny’s eye. “How are you?”

Benny opens his mouth.

Closes it.

Stands up and goes to the kitchen to make some tea.

“Right,” says David.

Benny sighs, leaning against the counter. “It’s like, you and I have no right to really have any opinion about it, right? Besides being happy for our friend, happy for your sister?”

“Yeah,” David replies slowly.

“But we do,” Benny says pointlessly. Of course they do.

“Of course we do,” says David.

 “Right,” says Benny. “It’s been four years.” Almost to the day. “Has it been too long for me to still be angry with her?”

“Are you?” David asks. “Still angry with her?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” says Benny. “She hurt you and she never looked back, as far as I can tell. It really rubs me the wrong way, you know? I don’t think I can ever really be friends with her again, not how we were before.”

“Well nobody’s asking you to,” David points out. “I don’t think I could stomach that either.” He hums. “If you weren’t still in my life, I might have had to, though. I don’t think I would’ve been able to tell Sarah what happened if you hadn’t forced me to.”

“And, what? You would’ve suffered silently through their whole relationship? Christ, Davey, don’t even say that.”

David laughs. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. They’re getting married.”

“They’re getting married.”

“Are we – are we okay with that?”

“I don’t know,” says Benny. “Are we?”

“It just feels strange,” David says carefully. “Even after all this time, I – to be this close to it and not be the one –“

“Yeah,” Benny says when David doesn’t finish. “Yeah.”

“I was planning to propose after graduation,” says David. “Over the summer, you know.”

“You were?” Benny replies, startled. He feels like he should remember that.

“I only decided for sure right at the beginning of May,” David says. He chews on his bottom lip for a moment. “Only right when I decided to tell you and go ring shopping, her parents came to town.”

“Ah.” Things fell apart quickly after that.

“It feels strange,” David says again. “To watch her marry someone else.”

“It would,” says Benny. He remembers the first time David said he thought he’d marry Kate – long before Leah was on anyone’s radar, he’d flopped across Benny’s bed after a date and said I’m gonna marry that girl. “It feels strange for me, too.”

“I’m better off than I would’ve been,” David says firmly. “And so is she. Kate and Sarah are a good fit.”

Benny nods. “Yeah. They’re – yeah.”

“Yeah,” David agrees. He deflates a little, flopping back against the couch cushions. Benny goes through the familiar routine of making their tea, David’s in the mug with the little milk color chart that they usually save for guests because they really need to run the dishwasher and his own in the mug Tony bought them that has HOT CHOCOLATE printed on the outside because they really, really need to run the dishwasher.

Benny hands David his mug as he folds himself onto the couch across from him.

“Excuse me, is that the hot chocolate mug?” says David.

“I know,” Benny replies, ashamed. “This is what happens when we eat at the neighbors’ house every day, Dave, the only dishes we use up are the mugs.”

David laughs. The sound of it warms Benny somewhat – he can’t be that shaken up over Kate, if he’s laughing like that. “Well don’t make a habit of it.”

“Aye-aye, captain,” says Benny.

David throws a pillow at him. “Dork.”

“You’re a dork.”

--

A few weeks later, David and Benny are on a grocery run, which is an errand that Les and Leah are not invited to participate in.

“Hey, Ben?” David says, staring at the cereal like he wants it to tell him the meaning of life. Benny knows they’ve been working their way through different brands ever since Lee’s favorite switched shape and she refused to eat it anymore, but that seems like a lot to ask of a box of cereal.

“What’s up?” Benny asks lightly.

“Do you wanna get married?”

“What, to you?”

David shrugs. “Who the fuck else, Benjamin?”

Benny laughs. “Ooh, Benjamin, now I know you’re serious. Yeah, I’d marry you. Why?”

“Why am I asking?” David says.

“Well, yeah,” replies Benny.

“Because,” David says slowly, “I think we should get married.”

“Oh,” says Benny. His eyes go wide. “Oh, you mean like - not abstractly, but like, Benjamin Davenport, will you marry me serious?”

In the grocery store cereal aisle, he does this.

“Yes!” David says, laughing. “Oh my god. I was like, ‘hey this is platonic, I don’t have to get all mushy with him when I propose’ but I neglected to remember that my partner is an idiot.”

“Babe, you’ve known me how long?” Benny says. He gives a vague little wave as he sorts through the time. “Eight years? Nine? You should know by now that I need this shit spelled out for me.”

“Right, sorry darling,” replies David. He rolls his eyes. “Get the picture now, though?”

“I get the picture,” says Benny, grinning. “But, you know, I wouldn’t mind you getting all mushy.”

David pulls Benny into a hug. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine,” says David. He steps back, his hands on Benny’s shoulders. “Ben, you are my best friend in the world. Maybe even the universe. You picked up your entire life and moved cities so that I wouldn’t have to raise my child alone. You’ve kept me steady through some of the worst days of my life. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone without it being romantic, and I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Will you marry me, as friends?”

Benny snorts despite himself when David tacks as friends onto the end. Like they’re thirteen-year-olds going to a school dance, not twenty-five-year-olds seriously discussing marriage. 

“Yes, of course I will,” Benny says, because he’s amused but he’s also really, deeply touched that David wants to make that commitment. “I love you and Bee so much, David. So much.”

David hugs him again. “Amazing. I love you.”

“Do you think this will make your parents stop asking when I’m going to move out so you can meet a nice girl who can be a mother to Leah?”

“Oh, good God, I hope so.”

“Do I get a ring?” Benny teases as they return to their groceries.

David shrugs, finally committing to Honey Nut Cheerios which they can almost always get Leah to eat without complaint. “Do you want one?”

“No,” says Benny. “But I feel like the complete non-eventness of this engagement is going to get us teased for all eternity, and a ring might make it seem a little more intentional.”

David snorts. “I was intentional.”

“Davey, babe, you just proposed to me in the Mariano’s cereal aisle,” says Benny. “That doesn’t exactly scream planning.”

“Shut up,” says David. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, I just – I was standing here, thinking about how much I hate Lucky Charms, and it just hit me that, like, you’re still here. Buying groceries and raising Leah and everything, even though you never had to. It just kind of came out.”

“That’s actually really sweet,” says Benny. “Still, I can’t wait to answer oh, how did your husband propose to you with by accident at the grocery store. It’s very romantic, all the other moms will be jealous.”

“Oh, like you want a romantic proposal,” David replies, rolling his eyes.

“God, no,” says Benny. He scrunches his nose in distaste. “I’m just saying this isn’t exactly story worthy.”

“You know what’ll be story worthy?” says David.

“Hmm?”

“If we can get Leah to try lasagna this week,” David says.

Benny laughs. “Yeah, that wouldn’t just be a story, that’d be a miracle.”

--

They don’t tell anybody right away.

No, that’s not true.

They tell Les and they tell the Higgins-Conlons, and most importantly they tell –

“Leah, baby, sit down for a minute,” David says fruitlessly. “Leah!”

Leah continues collecting plush for the audience for movie night.

“Sweetpea,” Benny says, scooping up the distracted four-year-old. “Did you hear Daddy asking you to sit down?”

“Pu’mme down, Bebba,” Leah whines. “I’m busy.”

“Oh,” says Benny. He drops onto the couch next to David, a squirming Leah held tightly in his arms. “Did you hear that, Dad? She’s busy.”

“Busy?” David echoes, reaching over to tickle Leah’s sides. “Busy?:

“I gotta get the audience ready,” Leah insists.

“You can in a minute, baby girl,” says Benny. “But Daddy and I want to talk to you about something.”

“What?” Leah asks with all the drama a four-year-old can muster.

“Do you remember how we told you Aunt Sarah is getting married next year?” says David.

Leah rolls her eyes. “Course I remember.”

Benny snorts, despite his best effort not to. “Right, of course. Could we tone down the sass?”

“Uncle Les says I got a natural aptitude for sass,” says Leah.

“Uncle Les needs to stop expanding your vocabulary if this is what he’s gonna do with it,” David grumbles. Uncle Les is currently across the hall at the Higgins-Conlon boys’ place, listening to Sean complain about classrooms, and so is not able to defend himself.

“Dave,” Ben says, touching his arm. He shifts Leah into a sitting position on his lap, sideways so she can look at the two of them, now that she’s stopped trying to escape.

“Yeah,” says David. “Baby, how would you feel if I got married, too?”

“To Kate?” Leah says, her brow furrowed.

David makes a choked noise and Benny barks a startled laugh.

“No, no, not to Kate,” David says when he stops looking like he’s going to die. “To Benny. What would you think if I married Benny?”

Leah blinks up at him a few times, then looks at Benny. “Why?”

“Because we care about each other a lot and we want to,” says Benny. “We don’t love each other the same way Sarah loves Kate, but we love each other and we love you. And I already live here.”

Leah hums. “I think that would be okay.”

“Us getting married would be okay?” David clarifies. Leah nods. “Oh, good.”

“I think if you’d said no I would’a had to move out,” Benny teases.

“No!” Leah says, throwing her arms around his neck. “You can’t!”

“Don’t worry, Bean, I won’t,” says Benny. He kisses Leah’s cheek, pulling her a little closer in a hug. “I’d never. Hey, look at me?”

Leah does. Benny is struck, suddenly, by her resemblance to Kate – the dense cluster of freckles across the bridge of her nose and cheeks and those warm brown eyes, together with that puzzled frown that Benny has seen on her mother more times than he can count.

“This means I’ll be your dad for real,” Benny tells her. “How’s that sound?”

“That’d be good, Benny,” Leah says.

“You hear that, Dad?” says Benny, grinning over her head at David. “That’d be good, our daughter says. We’ve got to do it now.”

“I think we do,” David agrees.

- but for now, that’s the limit of it. Everyone else will find out in time, but Benny and David are seriously considering waiting for Kath and Sarah’s wedding to pass before they say anything.

Only a few months after that, Benny looks at his partner – his fiancé, he supposes, which is a funny thought – and says, “You know, we could just do it.”

“What?” David says, frowning down at his Scrabble letters.

“Get married,” Benny clarifies. David’s head snaps up. “It’s not like we’re planning a whole wedding or anything. We just do the paperwork, go to City Hall with the H-Cs and our kids –“

“Excuse me?” Les cuts in, because he assumes (correctly) that Benny is including him in that group.

“Les, I drove you to kickball practice yesterday,” Benny says, rolling his eyes.

“Shut up.”

“Anyway, it’s not like it has to be an event, yeah? We bring our family, we get married, we figure out explaining it later,” finishes Benny, as if the ungrateful teenager who lives on their couch hadn’t interrupted.

“I don’t want to overshadow anything for the girls,” David says slowly.

“Dave,” Les says flatly. “You won’t. You two and them are playing two completely different sports here, it’s not like you’re surprising everybody with a full-scale wedding or anything.” He pauses, humming with annoyance as David lays down zest on a triple-word tile. “I say go for it. Just remember to invite Lydia and Mark.”

“Not Mom and Dad?” David says distractedly.

Benny snorts. “I mean, they can come if you want them to.”

Benny’s mom and stepfather have always been more onboard for team queerplatonic relationship than the Jacobses, with Lydia Davenport fully embracing Leah as her one and only grandchild with no shortage of enthusiasm. It makes up, somewhat, for how rocky the relationship with her other grandparents is. Benny is fairly sure that Lydia and Mark are aware of that fact and are doing it on purpose.

“No,” David says, scrunching his nose. “I don’t think I do.”

Anyway, that’s how Benny finds himself at City Hall in mid-September in a grey suit, facing his best friend in front of their funny little family. Their non-event ceremony is punctuated with a kiss –

“I have kissed you for much stupider reasons than this,” David says softly.

Benny chuckles. “Still not really my thing, though.”

- and then they, their kids, the Higgins-Conlons, and Benny’s parents go out for a nice lunch and that’s that. Benny and David are married – as friends – and it’s just a question of when other people they know will notice that the two of them wear matching plain gold bands on their ring fingers now.

--

It hits Benny hard one night, how honestly massive a commitment David has made to him and their little family. For all that David has said for a few years that this is enough for him, well –

They’re married.

“We’re married,” Benny says into the darkness of their shared bedroom.

“Uh, yeah,” David says, chuckling, from across the room. “Did you forget?”

“No, I just – wow, right?”

David fully laughs at that. “Yeah, Ben. Wow.”

“I’m not kidding, Daves. You threw away your chance at finding love again –“

“I’m gonna stop you right there, Benny,” David cuts in. “I threw away nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing. I chose to hold onto and celebrate the most important relationship in my life beside the one I have with my daughter. I don’t need a romantic partner, I have the single best friend anybody has ever had in the history of friends.”

“Oh,” says Benny.

“Yeah, oh.”

“I love you, go to sleep.”

“Love you, too. Goodnight.”

--

It takes all the way to Kath and Sarah’s wedding for anybody really important to notice the change, which Benny thinks is hilarious. It’s not like they’ve been keeping it any kind of secret, but to this point nobody they hadn’t told initially has said anything.

Until, of course, Darcy takes one good look at them on the day Kate is marrying Sarah.

“Is that a fucking wedding band?”

“Oh,” says David, looking at his hand like it might have manifested some new jewelry while he wasn’t looking. “Ah, yeah.”

“And you didn’t fucking tell us?” Bill says, glaring at Benny.

“Sorry?” says David.

“They said I wasn’t ‘oppsed’ta tell anybody, Uncle Bill,” Leah says, the little traitor.

“You told people at school, didn’t you, baby?” says Benny, doing his best.

“Yeah, but that’s not the same,” says Leah, rolling her eyes. “You guys said you were gonna tell Uncle Darce and Uncle Bill.”

“Well,” says David, “we did mean to.”

“How long ago did this happen?”

“September,” Benny admits.

“September!” echoes Darcy.

“That’s like seven months!” Bill adds.

“You didn’t come to my birthday this year,” Leah adds, her arms crossed over her floaty purple dress. “Or you’d’a known in Feb-ru-ary.”

“Sorry, kiddo,” says Darcy. He kisses the top of her head, careful not to mess up the hairstyle that David spent more time than it took Benny to get ready on.

“So, you’re married,” Bill says, his eyes flicking from Benny to David and back.

“We are,” says David. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you.”

“You guys happy?”

David looks over at Benny, a soft, sappy smile on his face. “Yeah, we are.”

“Aw, don’t get all mushy,” Benny teases. He bumps his shoulder against David’s, still looking at Bill and Darcy. “Yeah. We’re happy.”

“How’s having two whole dads treating you, Bean?” Darcy asks.

Leah shrugs. “S’not any different. Bebba’s not even done adopting me yet.”

“In my defense, it’s been a pretty busy year,” Benny says. “It took a while to get the paperwork in.”

Bill laughs. “Strong start.”

“I think he’s doing alright,” says David, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

It’s easier than Benny expected to put how wrong being at Kate’s wedding feels out of his mind.

Because, yeah, there’s this moment where they see Kate all done up in her white dress and David goes a little pale and Benny feels a bit sick, but besides that it’s easy to enjoy being around their friends and each other and hear Leah call him Dad all night because Les convinced her that she should just to see how David’s parents and Kate would react.

It’s actually even kind of nice.

They get a really sweet picture of the family, snapped by Jack Kelly on the dance floor. In it, Benny is twirling Leah under his arm while David stands by, watching the two of them with soft fondness in his gaze.

They’re in the car on their way home, and Benny can’t stop staring at it.

The light is soft, halfway through shifting from pinkish to blue, and all three of them look so goddamn happy that Benny is honestly a little surprised that it was taken at Kate Plumber’s wedding to somebody who isn’t David Jacobs.

(Not that, after all this time, Benny would have let David get back into anything with Katie.)

“Hey, Davey?” Benny says, looking over. “I’m glad we’re a family.”

“Me too, Benny. Thanks for showing up even when I tried to shut you out.”

“Whenever you need me, babe, I’m there.”

David glances over, smiling. “Right back at’cha, darlin’.”

This isn’t what Benny expected his life to be, but he’s not looking back.

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