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“ Why am I doing this again?” Derek questioned into his phone, panting as the climb got steeper, the air thinner.
“ Because you love your sister and you haven’t spent quality time with her in years.” Stiles replied with the same answer he’d been giving Derek for two weeks now, since he left Beacon Hills to go on a road trip with Cora.
“ I’d say two weeks is a pretty sufficient period of time to spend with someone.”
“ No, it’s not. You still have two more weeks to go.” Stiles chuckled, enjoying how miserable Derek was sounding, although he knew that deep down, he enjoyed his time with Cora more than anything. He’d missed her. He’d missed being a big brother to her. He just would never say that.
“ But I miss you, Stiles!” Derek groaned, like that was all the reason needed for him to bail.
“ I miss you too, babe. We’re half-way there.”
“ That’s too long. I don’t think I can make it.” Derek put the phone between his neck and his ear, had to use both hands to climb over this abnormally shaped rock.
“ Such a drama queen, oh my God,” Stiles laughed. Derek missed him a little more. “ Okay, Jenny is telling me I need to pick up the kids from school, so I have to let you go. Send me a shit ton of pictures, okay? I want to feel like I am right there with you.” Jenny was Scott’s twins’ babysitter. She was a high school student in one of Lydia’s classes, and she was the one who introduced her to Scott, when he started having blow-outs with Kira over whose turn it was to change a diaper and who deserved sleep more than the other. She kind of saved their marriage.
“ I wish you were. Kiss the kids for me, tell Scott I said hi.”
“ Will do.” Derek put the phone away, sulked the rest of the way through that hike, where they would camp out for the night in yet another canyon in Utah. Derek didn’t think the road was hike-able, the rocks were all different shapes and sizes and they were almost covering the entire road, leaving no room for their feet to touch actual ground. Every time a stone went into Derek’s shoes and poked through his skin, he let Cora know, whining and groaning and complaining. He wasn’t the best company, he knew, but he was cranky and sleep-deprived and worst of all – Stiles-deprived. If she was going to make him do this then she was going to deal with the consequences.
Halfway through their hike, an exceptionally pointy rock hit Derek’s ankle and he decided he was going to take a break if it killed him. He found one of the less pointy rocks, sat down and got his water bottle out of his bag. He brought his shirt up to wipe the sweat away from his face too.
“ I don’t remember you bitching this much about minor inconveniences.” Cora rolled her eyes, munched on an energy bar.
“ Minor – I could have broken my ankle, Cora! And then what? Would you have carried me down this damn hill?”
“ I would have left you for dead with that attitude.” She started walking away from Derek, who smirked, knowing that she would never do that regardless of how much attitude he was giving her. He put his water bottle back and sped through a few steps to catch up with Cora.
“ So, why didn’t you drag Toby on this trip instead of me? I bet he would have been better company.”
“ He doesn’t like the outdoors.”
“ Oh and I do?”
“ You’re my brother. You have to suck it up.”
“ And he’s your boyfriend, I would argue, he has more of an obligation to be here.” Cora sighed, her frown deepening a little, something unpleasant settling on her features. She carried on walking, and although Derek was right by her side, she felt faraway. She looked it too.
“ Wait, what is that reaction? What’s going on?”
“ Nothing, it’s nothing. Come on, we want to make it to the canyon before sunset.” She took a few large steps, as if to give Derek something else to focus on, making him feel like he had some catching up to do. Some catching on.
“ Cora,” She sighed, like she was just about to give in. Derek’s hand circled around her wrist, brought her pace down to a halt. She wasn’t looking at Derek. Ashamed or embarrassed or – scared. Of letting him down.
“ Did something happen?” Derek pushed.
“ We broke up.”
“ Okay, why does it seem like there’s more to it than just that?”
“ He cheated.”
“ What?” Derek put his hands to Cora’s shoulders, when she continued to avoid facing him.“ He cheated? When the hell did that happen?”
“ Right before I came to Beacon Hills? At least, that’s when we finally decided to call it quits.”
“ So he cheated before?”
“ I think so. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyway, Derek.”
“ Yes, it does. Of course it does. Come on, let’s sit.” Cora rolled her eyes but went when Derek tugged. He sat her down on a rock, took off his backpack and sat next to her, his eyes worried and cautious.
“ There’s been this.. wall between us, a distance that we didn’t know where it came from, but it was there. We tried to push through it at first, go on dates again, make time for each other, talk. But clearly, we weren’t talking about shit that matters, because one night he – uh, he was trying to get me to sleep with him, and I was tired and not in the mood, so I told him that, but he wouldn’t stop asking for it. I would give him a kiss and he would start taking off his pants and I – I didn’t want that. So, we had a fight, because he kept on trying to push himself onto me and guilt trip me into letting him fuck me and – anyway, I left because he was being unreasonable. I slept in the car, went to work, then went home thinking that we would discuss what happened and carry on with our lives, but – he was in bed with someone else.”
“ Holy shit, Cora.” Derek inched closer, put his arms around Cora’s shoulders and pulled her to him. He wanted to protect, to shield, to spare her. But he felt like he was letting her down all over again, like he was letting something else take her over and away from him.
“ You know what the worst part of all of this is?” She chuckled, all self-depreciating. Like it was about to get worse. “ He kept yelling at me saying that it was my fault he ended up in bed with another girl. That I turned a good man into a cheater. That I was too aggressive, too defensive, too much, all the fucking time. And – I know that I can be like that sometimes, but after all I’ve been through, how can I not be? It was all I could do to survive and – he knew that. He knew all the bullshit I came with and he still – he got tired, I guess. Or bored. Or – maybe I just wasn’t enough – “
“ Hey, hey, no, don’t say that,” Derek laid a finger under Cora’s chin, wanting so desperately for her to understand, to believe. She sniffled, wiped her nose and right beneath her eyes, like she was trying not to let everything seep through. “ You’re more than enough. You’re smart and kind and fun to be around. You’re always doing something, exploring something new. You’re brave, Cora. And you’re strong. So unbelievably strong, I don’t know how you do it sometimes. And if he’s too intimidated by that, then that’s on him. Not you.” A sob fell past Cora’s mouth when she tried to inhale. Derek put a hand to her head, brought it into the curve of his neck, as he laid his own head on top.
“ You should never feel obligated to give something you are not willing to give. I am proud of you, for standing up for yourself, and for protecting your space and boundaries. You didn’t do anything wrong, Cora.” She cried into her brother some more, clinging onto him like a lifeline. Like he was the only thing keeping her from breaking apart. Eventually, she breathed, pulled slightly away, and started wiping away traces of her breakdown.
“ You’re right. I know you’re right. I just – didn’t see it coming, I guess. I thought he was a good man. I thought I wouldn’t have to feel this again, you know.”
“ Yeah, I get it. Is that why you showed up in Beacon Hills?” She nodded, shied slightly away as if embarrassed, exposed.
“ Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you just tell me that this is why you need to get away for a while?”
“ Because you’re happy, Derek. Finally, God, you were recently engaged to Stiles and you’re so in love. And I didn’t want to ruin that for you.”
“ I don’t care how happy I am, I am your older brother and when you’re going through something, I would like to be there for you. I know you’re badass and you don’t need me to fix things for you, but at least I can be there as you fix them yourself, okay?” She smiled, tightened her hands around him just a little.
“ Sometimes, I’m going to need you to fix some things for me.”
“ I’m guessing this isn’t one of those things.” Cora wiped her snotty nose against Derek’s shirt, pulled away before he could do anything about it.
“ You’re disgusting, oh my God.” She laughed and Derek didn’t mind the booger on his shirt that much anymore.
They carried on with their hike, Derek walking close-by, not being as resistant, now that he knew he was needed. Or – not needed, because he knew that his sister was far too proud for that, but – leaned on. He had a job to do. He had to be a brother and it was everything he’d ever wanted to be. At least, after he could no longer be a son. That was a close second. They got to the camping sight, right in the middle of the canyon. Derek laid a blanket out to catch the sunset, knowing that Stiles would appreciate all the pictures he was about to take for him. Stiles loved a lot of things. He loved the slightly burnt toast for breakfast and tomatoes. He loved curly fries and the way Scott still needed him after all those years. He loved his dad and Derek and – the sun. He loved the sun as it was setting and rising. It made him feel brand new, like he was being reborn, like he was given something that not many people got to have.
“ Come, Cora, you have to see this. It’s the prettiest damn sunset you’ll ever see.”
“ Starting to enjoy it now, I see.” Cora crossed her legs, sitting down next to her brother with a knowing smirk.
“ What? One-on-one time with my favorite sister? How can I not?”
“ I’ve always been your favorite, huh?” She turned away from her brother to take in the view. It was something straight out of a priceless painting. It didn’t even look real.
“ Well – “ Derek feigned contemplation, receiving a shove to his shoulder. He laughed, and she did too, because they both knew that it was true. She’d always been his favorite, even when there were many more sisters to choose from. She was the youngest and he was protective over her, loving her in ways he didn’t feel he could the others, because they intimidated him a little. Not that she didn’t, now that she’d grown into her own woman, if she wasn’t his sister, he probably would have feared her a little.
“ So, when is the wedding going to be?”
“ You don’t – we don’t have to do that, Cora. Let’s just enjoy our time here together.” He looked at her with something soft and caring in his eyes, wishing so bad she wasn’t so heartbroken when he was arguably the happiest he’d ever been.
“ Oh no. No, no, no. Why are you looking at me like that? That is exactly why I didn’t want to say anything, Derek. I got my heart broken, so fucking what? It happens all the time. I’m fine. I’m going to be fine. And you get to be happy even when I’m not.” Derek tilted his head towards her, tried not to look too devastated at how hard she was trying to soldier through it for him.
“ I know you’re going to be fine. I just – it feels wrong, to talk about happy stuff when, you know. Things aren’t so happy for you. It makes me feel like a shitty brother.”
“ Dude, you dropped everything when I asked you to go on this trip with me. You left your job, your husband-to-be, and you packed up and came, without even knowing the story behind it.”
“ I wasn’t exactly the easiest person to convince. I’ve been giving you a hard time about it for two weeks now.”
“ That’s your job as a brother, Derek; to annoy the living hell out of me and be dramatic over everything. At the end of the day, you showed up, and that’s all that matters. You’re a great brother, and I know I don’t say it much, and I’ll say the exact opposite if you ever hold it against me, but you are. You’re the best. And – thank you. For coming with me. For letting me do what I need to do to get through it.” Derek smiled, took her by the arm and pulled until she was half-laying down beside him. He threw his arm around her neck, planted a kiss between her hair, and just – held her like that.
“ I love you. I’d do anything for you, you know that.”
“ Yeah. I know. Now, let me take some pictures of you with that sunset because I know Stiles will probably be waiting for those.” He stood, walked around the blanket and almost tripped. She snapped a picture, groaned about how much of a fucking model he was without even trying, before situating herself to get the best angles for the mini-photoshoot they had. For Stiles’ sake.
A few minutes later, Derek was too eager to send the pictures to Stiles to take anymore, so he tried to find a place where there would be enough bars to send them, while Cora started on dinner. Derek managed to send a single picture over, but none of the rest were delivered. He snapped a few pictures of his pouty face with the starry night behind him in the background, for whenever he would be able to show Stiles.
He changed out of his clothes, remembering that he’d sweated through them all day, before joining Cora to help with dinner. He took over the food and she started on the tents, because she knew he would have a harder time with it and therefore would go on another endless rambling over it so she decided to spare them both the trouble.
They had dinner, grabbed something heavier to wear since the night was cold and ruthless. They didn’t feel like making a fire though. They were okay cooking in front of a stove or lighting a birthday candle, but any unnecessary situations involving fire, were sort of an avoidable trigger for both of them. It made Derek feel less fucked up for it – knowing that his sister shared the same unreasonable fear. He still hated seeing the weight of the trauma on her all the same.
Cora went to sleep first, letting Derek attempt to reach Stiles some more, hear his voice before going to bed, but he failed miserably, not one of his calls connecting. So, when the navy blue of the sky started turning almost black, and the canyon moon started fading into the distance, he decided to call it a night and go into his tent, after making sure Cora’s was secured.
Before the sun was all the way up, Derek was shifting in his sleep. He had learned to only sleep soundly with Stiles around and now that he wasn’t, for the first time in probably years, Derek’s body only took from sleep what it desperately needed to function, then it was itching for Stiles again. So, with a sigh, he left his tent, went to check on Cora but her tent was opened and she wasn’t there. He assumed she wondered off somewhere, probably distracted by the scenery or coaxed by a wild animal she hadn’t seen before. He let her have her space, went about his morning routine, and even started on some coffee, before she reappeared, looking far too gleeful for Derek’s still not-fully-awake mind.
“ What are you looking so happy about?” He rolled his eyes, buried his nose in his cup of coffee.
“ Oh, you know, it’s a beautiful morning, a gorgeous view to wake up to, all good stuff to be happy about.”
“ I’m not awake enough to question it yet, so I’ll just take what you’re giving.” She nodded, pleased, grabbing her own cup of coffee and heading into her tent.
“ How the hell are you able to sleep this much? It’s so loud out here.”
“ It’s not that bad. There are a few wild animals here and there, a bunch of birds and insects. There is also the sound of – “
“ I don’t need you counting them out for me. They’ve been buzzing in my head all night, thank you very much.”
“ Hey, cranky-pants, you’re just pissed because you miss your boyfriend too much.”
“ Fiancé. I miss my fiancé, Cora.” He could almost hear her eyes rolling in their sockets without having to see them.
“ I’m going to change then it’s time for our morning hike.”
“ Another hike?”
“ Jesus Christ, what did you think we’d do out here?”
“ I don’t know, relax? Enjoy the view? Listen to some music?”
“ Later. Now, it’s hike-time.”
“ Where even were you? Didn’t you just come back from a hike?” He gulped down the rest of his coffee, decided to bottle some more for the hike. He’d probably need it, if he had any chance of keeping up with Cora.
“ I was having a shit, okay? Is that enough updates on my bowel movements or do you need – “
“ No, what I need is for you to shut up about it. Forever. I never want to hear of this again.”
“ Then stop fucking asking this many questions and grab your bag.” Her head poked out of her tent, as if checking if he was doing as told – which, he was. He got into his tent to change quickly, grabbing a shirt and knotting it around his waist in case it got chilly all of a sudden. He put on his cap, refilled his water bottle before standing in front of Cora’s tent and tapping his feet impatiently.
“ Do you think there will be better service wherever we’re hiking to? I really want to catch Stiles before he’s off work today.”
“ I don’t think you need to worry about that.” Derek twirled around immediately, instinctively, at the sound of the voice that had guided him through all the days and nights he spent away, without actually being there. It sounded like coming home. Like he’d hit home-base.
Stiles was standing there, unshaved, with a grey shirt and some shorts. He lifted his hand, waved with a giggly hello whispered, and that was all it took for Derek to dive in. They were both wearing caps, so as soon as Derek’s head was close enough to Stiles’ to collide, his cap flew off, and Stiles turned his around so that it was backwards, laughing into Derek’s mouth, all loud and free. Derek heard his home willing him back in the sound of his laughter, felt it in the way his lips pressed against his, smelled it in the slightly tangy scent of sweat and Derek’s deodorant that Stiles stole from him enough times that he started buying doubles for the pair of them. Everything about this felt like he was being hugged, held, wrapped around, by something bigger than just himself and Stiles and what they had together. He’d known he’d missed Stiles. He just hadn’t realized how bad, until he was holding onto him, thinking of all the hours he spent wishing he could. It’d only been two weeks but it was two weeks too fucking long.
“ What – what are you doing here? How – oh my God, I missed you. Hi, oh my God, hi.” Derek laid a hand on Stiles’ cheek, stole another kiss or two between all the laughter.
“ I missed you too. Cora invited me.” Stiles smiled, stepped back to allow Derek the room to turn towards his sister’s tent, where she was standing now, looking like she’d done something so right.
“ You knew about this?” He accused, feeling like he could cry with joy.
“ Knew about it? Where do you think I was earlier this morning? I was meeting him halfway to get him safely to our camp sight.”
“ You gave me so much shit when you could have just told me he was coming.”
“ Where is the fun in that?” Cora smirked. Derek squeezed Stiles’ hand before detaching himself, going in to hug his sister, so painfully tight.
“ You’re the best sister in the world. You get all the points. Thank you, Cora.” The humor that was previously in her tone, the amusement in her eyes, slipped away momentarily, making room for her to feel her brother’s gratitude, all the love he was drowning her in. She closed her eyes, hugged back, and hoped he’d understand, that she couldn’t picture her life without him. That she didn’t know how she would have made it through, if he wasn’t there, guiding her and aiding her and allowing her to just – be.
“ Go love on your fiancé, come on. I’ll take a nap while he rests, and then we can go on that hike, sounds good?” Cora left a kiss on Derek’s shoulder when she couldn’t quite find the words to say.
“ Sounds perfect.” Derek nodded.
“ Now he wants to hike. Ah, young love.” Derek giggled, practically skipped back to Stiles. He threw his arm across Stiles’ shoulder, angled him towards the canyon, right where the sun was settling, where the most incredible canyon moon had been only hours before.
“ So, what do you think?”
“ I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sky more blue. It’s insane how serene and like – otherworldly everything is here.” Derek smiled, proud like he was the one who put the sun in the sky for Stiles, just the way he liked it.
“ I’m so happy you’re here. I wasn’t sure I would make it two more weeks without you. Right now, I’m not sure how I made it this far.” Stiles chuckled, shook his head, as he leaned in for a quick peck.
“ Remember Mexico? It took you a couple of years to come back to Beacon Hills then.”
“ Yeah but I didn’t have you then.”
“ You did though. You always had me.”
“ I didn’t know, Stiles. I didn’t – I was losing everything back then. I wasn’t even sure who I was and – “
“ I know that now. I’m not saying it to be mean. I just meant that we made it work, even when we didn’t have each other.” Stiles patted Derek’s cheeks, trying to pour some kindness into the unkind meaning that he knew Derek was taking from his words.
“ But now that I know what it’s like to have you, to be with you, I never want to go back. I wouldn’t know how to.”
“ I wouldn’t want you to either.” Derek smiled, assured and comforted and so loved up, it was kind of ridiculous.
“ Okay, come, lay down, I’ll make you some breakfast, and you can catch me up on everything I missed.”
And that was what they did, for two hours as Cora napped. Stiles told Derek everything about the fight Scott’s kids got into at school, and how Scott had a full-blown meltdown when he got the call because he didn’t know how to parent the kids without being a dick about it. He kind of thought the kids were right, because Jake was getting bullied for his lisp and Tara stepped in to defend him, getting a nose-blood from being so angry, which in turn shifted the bullying to her. Jake started shoving kids away and Tara chased after them, threatening to get them all bloody. It was a mess, the principle didn’t know who to punish first. Stiles also told Derek about the fight Melissa and the sheriff had, because she caught him eating a burger at the station, and she was even more intense than Stiles when it came to the sheriff’s dietary needs. He told him about the call he got from Cora, to meet them halfway through their trip, because Derek was getting too antsy without him, and she had her private time with him already and could use the extra company. She had to mention the breakup, to persuade Stiles to not feel bad about intruding, but she promised to give him the details when he got there and only then. Derek kind of wanted to cry out for the thoughtful, giving, sister he had but didn’t feel like he deserved. Didn’t know how despite every shitty thing that happened to him and that he did, he still ended up getting to keep her.
Derek had to excuse himself, to wake Cora up himself, because he kind of wanted to hold her, overwhelmed with things he used to have to spread equally between all members of his family, and now that he only had her, he didn’t know what to do with the overflow of it all. She hummed, turned until she was facing Derek, and blindly swatted at his chest for waking her. He just thanked her again, told her that he was having fun with her and he would have done this thing with her for as long as she needed him to, but having Stiles there, made everything feel – better. But that didn’t mean that he would lose his focus on her, this was still her trip, and he was still wanting to be there for her and lend a helping hand whenever needed. He wanted her to know that. And she did. She then kicked him out to get dressed for the day.
When Cora told Stiles about the break up, it almost broke her just as hard the second time around. They had to stop, huddle around her, until she stopped wailing out into their chests. Stiles then made a point to walk with her a little further away from Derek, sharing parts of his heartbreak that he’d never told Derek because it was related to him. In a way, it was caused by him. He didn’t want to burden Derek with that though, didn’t want to add to the pile of regrets he already had. Plus, it worked out at the end and that was what mattered to Stiles. Cora listened intently, leaned her head against Stiles’ shoulder and quietly thanked him, for cracking himself open for her, for making her brother happier than she’d ever thought he would allow himself to be.
That night, they blasted music as loud as they could through the speakers that Stiles had with him, and he made sure to play only songs that Derek and Cora weren’t familiar with. Some songs, they danced to, others, they just closed their eyes and let the music take them over for a few minutes. They got drunk and then snacked like crazy, until they fell asleep on top of one another, with Derek having an arm over each of their bodies, and them sandwiching him in between. They should have been pretty cold, it should have woken them up from their comfortable slumber, but they were warm and mushy inside and nothing in the outside world could freeze that out of them.
They spent the two weeks left of their trip almost inseparable. They didn’t couple up or separate the group, they did everything together, knowing that each of them was needed for something. And they were all in need of one another. By the end of their trip, Cora wasn’t feeling as heavy with disappointment and betrayal. Of course, it still traumatized her, and she didn’t go anywhere near another man for almost a year after. But Toby’s name wasn’t loaded with pain every time she said it, wasn’t followed with a stunned, distant look in her eyes like it was hitting her all over again. And when it was time for Derek’s and Stiles’ wedding, she showed up with a date, and she held herself with an assurance that had been pulled out of her. And Derek wanted to weep with pride for her, with relief, because it was nice to see her be herself again. Be even better than she was before Toby.
They made that three-way-trip an annual tradition for them. They kept it up for five years, until Derek and Stiles adopted their first kid, and had to stay home to take care of them and nurture them, so Cora went on that trip, by herself, and sent them pictures that they showed their kid who wasn’t even verbal yet, but made sounds, pointing at the moon in the picture, and the big blue sky, and Stiles and Derek couldn’t wait to take them on that trip one day, show them all the different canyon moons, and how everything was prettier out there, shaded with peace and collectiveness and – home. They made everything feel like home.