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Zuko stared up at his bedroom ceiling.
It was an interesting ceiling. Zuko had a local artist paint over the gory mural Ozai had commissioned (only his father could fall asleep with the image of Fire Nation soldiers slaughtering airbenders above him), and it was now covered in intricate patterns and shapes reminiscent of flames.
Zuko wasn't looking at the ceiling, though.
Well, he was looking at the ceiling, but he wasn't seeing it.
He was seeing crystal blue eyes. He was hearing that distinctive, clear laugh. He was feeling the warm weight of a hand on his shoulder.
He knew this would be a problem one day. He thought he could make it work with Mai. He would've made it work with Mai.
"We're breaking up."
Zuko looked up at his girlfriend in surprise. They'd only just gotten back together a few months ago. And Mai had been so upset with him for leaving.
"Why?"
Mai glared at him.
"I'm tired of this, Zuko. I won't keep loving someone who can't love me."
Zuko had known what she was talking about. Of course he'd known.
That was five years ago. And now Zuko loved someone who couldn't love him.
Suddenly the four walls of his room felt much too close.
Walking out to the balcony, Zuko watched the rising sun. Firebenders rose with the sun, but lately Zuko had been waking up even earlier. He hadn't really been getting much sleep at all.
"Agni... give me guidance. I'm..." Zuko hesitated. He wasn't sure if he could say it out loud.
But Agni couldn't tell anyone. And Zuko had to get it out sometime.
"I love him, Agni. And I can't stop. Spirits know-- well, you know-- I've tried."
Agni said nothing. He continued to rise, just as he had yesterday, would tomorrow, and would continue to do. That offered Zuko some comfort; no matter how much he fucked up, there was always going to be a sun overhead, rising and setting despite the chaos inside Zuko.
Sokka stared up at his bedroom ceiling.
He couldn't sleep. Sokka, the Snoozles himself, couldn't sleep.
He hadn't been able to in a while. It was difficult to sleep when your mind is obsessing over your best friend.
Over his sharp jawline. His silky black hair. The smile he seemed to save only for Sokka.
His ceiling was less than exciting. Being an ambassador had its perks, but ornate ceiling murals like the one in Zuko's room was not among them.
He wondered if his ceiling was as bored of him looking at it as he was.
Sokka had to get some fresh air, had to clear his mind. He ended up, as he did many nights, on his balcony (one of the perks he did have), staring up at the moon.
He'd thought his feelings would fade with time, but he couldn't have been more wrong. He hadn't even been able to date anyone, his mind too occupied with a certain hotheaded firebender-- his last relationship had been with Suki, three years ago.
Zuko looked good on the beach, Sokka decided. With skin that pale, he should've burned redder than a lobster-jelly, but he hadn't even put on sunscreen. Sokka guessed it was a firebender thing.
Sokka watched Zuko and Toph get into some sort of splash-fight (which Toph was indisputably winning). Zuko was laughing, something he didn't tend to do often, which was a real shame, because he looked so beautiful when he did.
Sokka had missed Zuko. He was initially apprehensive to Zuko's job offer, not wanting to commit to something so soon, but now he was thinking that might not be so bad, so long as Zuko was there.
"Sokka?"
"Hm?" Sokka turned to face his girlfriend. Suki had a strange expression on her face. It made Sokka uneasy. "Sorry, I zoned out."
"I know." Suki hesitated. "Sokka, I think we should break up."
That snapped Sokka back to present real quick.
"What? Why?"
Suki gave him a look. Sokka stared back, bewildered.
"Sokka..." She prompted, like that would be enough.
"What?" Sokka was annoyed now. They'd been dating officially for a year, and she was just going to end it with no explanation? "Just spit it out, Suki."
Suki sighed. "Sokka, I've been thinking about this for a while." How long? Sokka wanted to ask, but he didn't want to interrupt her, lest she not continue. "We're better off as friends. Plus..." Suki glanced at the ocean where Katara had just drenched Toph and Zuko, effectively winning the splash-fight she hadn't even been a part of. Cheater. "Your mind is elsewhere."
Elsewhere?
"What are you talking about?"
Suki gave him a pained look. "Do I really have to say it, Sokka?"
Sokka looked back to the beach where Toph was burying Katara in sand, Zuko cheering from the sidelines.
"It's him, Sokka. I don't know how I didn't see it sooner. I'm not blaming you, because I don't think you knew."
Sokka said nothing as he continued to watch the chaotic scene before him.
"It's okay, Sokka," Suki continued, "I'm just not going to date someone who's in love with someone else."
Sokka had ended up taking the job. A stupid idea, really. He'd figured it might work like exposure therapy; the more he was around Zuko, the less reaction he'd have to him.
He hadn't really thought that, but it was what he told himself. Of course, it hadn't worked, and now he was in a worse mess than before.
He stared up at the moon. It was full tonight.
"What do I do, Yue?"
Yue said nothing.
"I love him. I love him when he laughs, I love him when he tells me about his day, I love him when he asks me about mine, I love him when he stands up to the old assholes in his meetings-- I even love him when he wakes me up at ungodly hours to watch the sunrise."
Yue said nothing, but she didn't need to.
"You're right, Yue. I'm fucked."