Chapter Text
pirates who don’t do anything (12 members)
captain crunch: were not coming back for u
violin-ce: please uwu
captain crunch: suffer
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day 23 in the cell, they haven’t found us yet (3 members)
a real doctor: jonny won’t come back for us :(
chainsaws for hands: you asked 20 years after they left what were you expecting
Plant: There was only a 5% chance of that plan working. A chance which was greatly reduced once the text “uwu” was used.
a real doctor: >:(
a real doctor: i thought it was more authentic that way
chainsaws for hands: no
Plant: No.
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Transport Police: Private Communication between Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda and Intern Fria Lyresie
Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda: I’m not going back in there. They can’t make me.
Intern Fria Lyresie: ha yes u are. its literally your job
Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda: This was listed nowhere on my job description.
Intern Fria Lyresire: entering a space pirate polyclue wasn’t on the form? surprising
[read at 14:23 by Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda]
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day 32 in the cell, they haven’t found us yet (3 members)
chainsaws for hands: hey bets on who can get Lyf to flip them off first
a real doctor: me
chainsaws for hands: no violins tho
a real doctor: i feel personally attacked.
a real doctor: however i wouldn’t be Doctor Baron Marius Von Raum if i didn’t honor my previous statement
Plant: You’re not a doctor.
a real doctor: excuse you Ivy i have a degree
[a real doctor’s name has been changed to medical fraud]
medical fraud: wtf ivy
chainsaws for hands: suck it von raum
medical fraud: thats doctor baron von raum to you
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Transport Police: Private Communication between Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda and Intern Fria Lyresie
Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda: kill me now
Intern Fria Lyresie: no :)
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pirates who don’t do anything (12 members)
violin-ce: hey how do we reset ivys brian
rose bread: I’m Brian, I’m alright staying how I am. :)
violin-ce: oh ha ha. very funny. *brain
resident shiplover: What did you do?
violin-ce: *we* didn’t do anything. the space cop did it
captain crunch: lol why u talkin to space cops
ms blue sky: we’re in jail dumbass. the only option is space cops
captain crunch: well then get out jail idiots
violin-ce: and go where? at least the space cop is entertaining. we’d leave if /someone/ would come back for us.
captain crunch: lol nope
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day 45 in the cell, they haven’t found us yet (3 members)
rockin robin: just found out the intern has lyfs contact
expert: WHAT. GIVE
rockin robin: i dont have it marius, i just said the intern did
expert: >:(
expert: Ivvvyyyyyy….
Personal Library: Yes Marius?
expert: plz help
Personal Library: Hmm, maybe.
expert: Ivy ill do anything
Personal Library: Anything?
expert: fuckin anything
Personal Library: Then perish.
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Unnamed Chat
Ivy Alexandria: Hello Fria.
Fria Lyresie: hello? who are you?
Ivy Alexandria: Simply a party interested in the contact information of one Lyfrassir Edda.
Fria Lyresie: Oh! Brain lady! Heck yeah here you go.
[Attachment of a contact titled. “lovestruck loser”]
Ivy Alexandria: Thank you. Your input will not be forgotten.
Fria Lyresie: far out
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day 64 in the cell, they haven’t found us yet (3 members)
The One with the Brain Cell: A gift.
[Attachment of a contact titled. “Inspector Lyf”]
one hand off, one hand off: !!! IVY !!! QUEEN
The One with the Brain Cell: You may address me as “Your Highness” from now on.
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Unnamed Chat
Marius Von Raum: INSPECTOR LYF!!!!
{Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda has blocked you!}
Marius Von Raum: D’:
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Transport Police: Private Communication between Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda and Intern Fria Lyresie
Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda: fuck you
Intern Fria Lyresie: thats the prisoners job
[read at 1:26 by Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda]
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Transport Police: Private Communication between Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda and Intern Fria Lyresie
Intern Fria Lyresie: unblock marius or ill give them your address
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Skateboarding and Cops
Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda: ...von Raum.
the best prisoner: Inspector Lyf!
[Inspector Second Class Lyfrasir Edda’s name has been changed to lyf <3]
[the best prisoner’s name has been changed to the worst prisoner]
the worst prisoner: hey :(
lyf <3: Don’t contact me.
the worst prisoner: you reached out to me!
lyf <3: under threat
[lyf <3’s name has been changed to Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda]
[the worst prisoner’s name has been changed to the hot one]
Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda: Lies, la Cognizi out paces you.
the hot one: WHAT
[Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda has deleted a message]
the hot one: COWARD