Work Text:
A small rectangular box wrapped in brown paper sat on Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda’s desk. Twine was tied in a neat bow in the center. Attached was a note that simply read “To: Inspector Lyf >;3.”
“Gonna open that?” Fria gestured to the package, shuffling the files in her arms around. She’d been helping them with research into a especially weird traffic incident. It’d been rumored as an assasination, Lyf thought that was highly unlikely reasoning, but was investigating regardless.
“I guess,” Lyf said, setting down their coffee mug to pick up the small box. Something thunked against the sides of the box as they tilted it side to side. Fria set the file folders on their desk, gestured towards them to go on. Lyf untied the bow, unwrapped the paper, slid open the box, and promptly dropped everything in their hands. Fria upon spotting the gift burst into laughter, prompting the other members of the office to look over towards them.
Impaled in Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda’s desk was a beautifully crafted courting dagger.
----
Proposed to over the transport office’s gift exchange. And by Von Raum of all people.
Lyf had stuck the dagger in the drawer of his desk and proceeded to ignore it. Granted, they were doing a terrible job. Could you blame them though? Midgaridian courting traditions were a bit odd, but they couldn’t say they weren't flattered. But Lyf wasn’t in a relationship with Von Raum, they would hardly even consider him a friend. Did he think that they were flirting with him? They hadn’t been, right? Right? Lyf slumped over their desk. They really need to get some work done.
“Whatcha thinkin bout?” Lyf shot upwards at Fria's voice, nearly knocking their coffee mug off the desk with their wings. She was looking down at them, clearly amused. “Anyone special?” Lyf scowled at her, flattening their wings back down.
“If by special you mean the politician that was a rumored assaination victim? Yes.” Fria just arched an eyebrow.
“Suuurreee…. Is this politicians name Marius Von Raum?” Lyf flipped her off. “Mature.” When did she sit down? “Lyf, you’ve got to talk to him about this. Personally, I’m in a toss up between him being a complete dumbass or actually legitimately proposing courtship. Eindride from accounting keeps getting after me about details too. You’ve become quite the conversation topic around here.”
Lyf groaned, leaned back onto their wings against their chair and ignored her. They didn’t have the time or the energy for this. Bunch of gossips.
“Besides, you're due to visit the prisoners soon, unless you're about to be conveniently sick again.”
“I just might.”
“You really don’t want me going back in there, I found pictures of you in middle school.”
“How the fuck.” Sigyn, the prisoners couldn’t be allowed to see those.
“I have my methods.” Fria grinned. “Really Lyf, if you don’t show up to work tomorrow I’m telling them where you live so they can find you.” She hopped down off the desk.
“How do
you
know where I live??”
“I have my ways. Later Lyf!” she takes to the air of the office, leaving them sitting at their desk trying to focus on their case.
——
Lyf ignored it. Like any responsible adult would. Went on with their life as if it never happened. Ignored cheeky comments from coworkers about their “beloved.” The assasination case had slowly become more and more convoluted, rabbit hole after rabbit hole, no answers to be found. Hel, he couldn’t even find out where she came from. Only that she was important to the “local infrastructure” or some bullshit like that. Prosthetic wings was the only thing they had to go off of and that wasn’t a whole lot of help.
They were exhausted. There, naturally, was a hard deadline on the investigation. Trying to meet said deadline was going to murder them if they didn’t murder someone else first. High up on their “to destroy if given the chance” list were all three of the prisoners. If anything they were making the situation worse with wild claims that they were there during the assasination and that the victim was “fine.” No matter how weird the case was, the victim had been confirmed dead before they disappeared. It simply wasn’t possible.
Who’s grand idea was it to put them on the office gift list anyway? Probably Fria. She’d organized the ridiculous thing. Lyf had drawn Alexandria’s name, given her the traditional holiday gift of a toy train and called it a day. The last thing they’d expected to recive over this holiday exchange was a fucking courting dagger from Von Raum. Did he even know Mirgardian courting traditions? There was no way he didn’t by now. Von Raum was mocking Lyf, this was the only possibility. Some twisted form of mockery that made their stomach fill with butterflies every time they spotted the dagger in the back of their desk drawer. Some twisted form of mockery that prevented them from looking Von Raum in the eyes anymore. Mockery. That was it.
At least they hadn’t received a massive space gun and got written up to HR. Poor Joe. No one deserved Raphaella La Cognizi’s “gifts”.
——
Evidently they had spoken to soon.
“Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda, do you know why you’ve been called in today?” A disembodied voice sounded over the speaker system.
“No?” Lyf spoke into the empty room.
“You have been called here today over an inappropriate relationship with the prisoners. It is rumored that you have begun courtship with one. You see why this is inappropriate I assume.”
“What the Hel.”
“Language Edda.”
——
“Von Raum we need to talk.”
“Do we now, Inspector?” He winked at them. Winked. The audacity of it all.
“We do. Why did you gift me a dagger.”
“Oh! As a threat Inspector! Have to keep you on your toes!”
“A- a threat?” They’d been worried for months over a hopeful threat? That’s it? “It was a threat?”
“What else would a knife be?” Marius looked at them like they had gone mad.
“A da- nothing. Nothing Von Raum good day.”
With that, they turned and left the room.
Of course it was unintentional. They really shouldn’t feel so disappointed that it was. This was a good thing! This was a good thing.