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It is an established fact that once a child reached their third birthday, an angel and a devil would appear on their shoulder, to act as their moral sounding board and guide them through their life. The angel would sit on the right shoulder, as angels were righteous and just, while the devil would sit on the left shoulder. Nobody really knows how these guardians came to be, where they came from, how they chose their humans – did they do any choosing? Or were they just appear into existence on a child’s third birthday? – or why they were all very different.
A theory was that the guardians were a manifestation of the human souls. Hence why every guardian was unique, just like not one human soul was the same. Another theory was that in heaven and hell, respectively, angels and devils got assigned a human for them to guide, like an office. And that the guardians would return to their realm once their charge had expired.
It would forever remain a mistery, because not one angel nor devil would ever say anything about their origins.
Saguru often wondered, of course, which theory was true. His mother – who told him a lot of wondrous stories as a child - leaned more on the manifestation of souls’ side. But if so, then what did that say about him, and his… for lack of a better word, unique guardians?
Case in point, the angel pulling painfully at his hair.
“Saguru! Quit making your murderous face! You’re making her nervous!”
Saguru winced. For someone who weighed two kilos soaking wet, Kaito pulled hard.
‘I’m not making my murderous face!’ The teenager protested, sending a mental reproach to the completely unrepentant angel. ‘I told you to stop pulling my hair! It hurts!’
The angel shrugged. “It’s a sure way to get your attention.”
On his left shoulder, Shinichi sighed, burying his face in his hands. “Guys, focus. Aoko-chan is still waiting for your answer.”
Gulping, Saguru turned his attention to the fidgeting girl in front of him, clearly in the middle of her own mental debate with her guardians.
“Smile, damnit! With the way you’re scowling, no girl would ever ask you out again!”
‘That’s right. Aoko-san is asking him out. Aoko-san is asking him out! Aoko-san is asking him out!’
“Quit repeating that. We got it already!” Kaito groaned. “Okay, you’re nervous, but you like her well enough, don’t you? Just agree, give it a try, have fun! What’s the worst that could happen?”
Shinichi quickly interjected. “You shouldn’t. With the way you’re stumbling across bodies, you’ll traumatize her for life. Then she won’t want anything to do with you anymore.”
‘I have been stumbling across more bodies lately…’
“Eighteen bodies in the last twenty-five days. That’s almost one body every day. What are the chances you’ll run into a murder scene on the date?”
‘Seventy-two percent chance…’ Saguru gulped. The odds were not in his favor.
“Ugh. You need more excitement in life, Saguru! At the rate you’re going, you will never find a date! Then you’ll spend your old age alone, with ten cats and nobody there to be with you!” Kaito bemoaned. “Go on the damn date already! Take a chance, of once in your life, okay?”
Saguru gulped, and squared his shoulders. It was fortunate that the guardians didn’t literally sit on his shoulders, they hovered over it. Or else he would jostle them, and pissed Kaito off. A pissed off Kaito is not fun to deal with.
“Your funeral.”
“Smile!”
Saguru pulled his lips up in what he hoped was a warm, friendly smile. Judging from the way Kaito was glowering at him, he probably came across like a rabid dog.
Aoko-san didn’t seem to mind though. She perked up at his smile, further encouraging him.
“I would love to go to the ramen shop with you, Aoko-san. Tomorrow after school is just fine for me.”
She smiled, showing the cute dimples Saguru had secretly been fawning over. “Aoko is so glad you agreed, Saguru-kun! It’s a date!”
“I look forward to it,” he promised.
“Good, good,” Kaito nodded, pleased. “Now let’s just hope Lady Luck is on your side!”
~*:*:*:*~
Lady Luck, it turned out, was not on his side.
‘Should I tell her her dead husband killed himself trying to frame her?’
“Noooooo she would be heartbroken… He is dead anyway. Just say it was an accidental poisoning.”
‘Shouldn’t you advocate honesty?’
“I’m an angel, not a heartless monster”
“Tell her.”
“… You’re a heartless monster, Shinichi.”
The devil sighed. “The truth would always come to light, no matter what. Takagi-keiji had been eyeing the ramen bowl for a while now. He surely would come to the same conclusion eventually.”
Kaito pouted. “You can always plant false evidence. Mislead the police. You are well-known, and they trust you. If you said it’s accidental poisoning, then they would believe it!”
Shinichi glared. “You shouldn’t do that. It would tarnish your reputation and morals, Saguru! What kind of detective are you if you obscure the truth like that!”
Saguru pinched the bridge of his nose. He often wondered, what exactly were the defining characteristics of an angel or a devil. The stories made it out to be so simple. Angels were good and morally right, while devils were tempting but evil.
‘Clearly, the stories were not made to be realistic… or am I just different?’
“We can’t tell you what other guardians are like, Saguru, you know that,” Shinichi said, serious. “But I can tell you this, you are a good soul.”
Flushing, Saguru looked down. Shinichi rarely gave compliments, but when he did, he meant it. ‘Thank you.’
Kaito floated on his right, silent. But he was smiling encouragingly at the teen, so that was good.
In the end, Saguru privately reported his deductions to the police, and together they agreed to keep it quiet. They ruled it as suicide, but didn’t expose the man’s motives to his poor, brokenhearted widow.
Aoko-san was thankfully still sitting on their table, right where he left her when people started screaming.
“You are a bad date,” Kaito commented seriously. “You shouldn’t leave such a lady sitting by herself while you run off to find murderers!”
Shinichi rolled his eyes. Saguru didn’t actually see the devil doing so, but he just knew that Shinichi did it. “Saguru is a detective, Kaito. It’s his job, and he loves doing it. No mystery should be left unsolved!”
Kaito puffed out his cheeks angrily. He looked so cute, doing that. Not that Saguru would ever mention it to him, or think about it… no. Even though they know he wasn’t seriously mad. His head would balloon bigger and turn red.
“Detectives have time off, too! You don’t work 24/7!”
‘Well,’ Saguru thought, ‘I can’t just let a murderer walks free. They deserve justice.’
“Exactly,” Shinichi nodded solemnly at him.
Kaito huffed, and ignored them for the rest of the night.
~*:*:*:*~
There was a new student enrolling in his class. Koizumi Akako-hime. She was… captivating. There was no better word to describe her. It was now lunch break, and she was sitting elegantly on her desk, surrounded by all her new male classmates.
Hakuba couldn’t tear his eyes off of her.
“Go on, tell her she’s beautiful! A lady always deserves compliments!
“Nah. Her eyes are a bit too wide to be proportional, her nose is not in the middle of her face, that 0,35 millimeters deviation is so noticeable… And remember Aoko-san!” Shinichi huffed.
‘It is a noticeable flaw,’ Saguru agreed amicably. ‘But she’s so alluring… I don’t think there’s any other woman as beautiful as her… There’s this aura around her… I have to profess my undying love to her!!’
“You’re going to get gutted by all her other admirers,” the devil commented, eyeing the mass of worshipers Saguru would have to wade through. “And what of Aoko-san?”
For the life of him, Saguru couldn’t think of his girlfriend. Not when there was a goddess right in front of him.
‘Look at how the sunlight falls from the windows. It illuminates her. She is… glowing…’
He could see, like in the animes he watched, how Koizumi-hime’s hair blew in the wind, and how she slowly, like in a slow motion scene, looked up and glanced at him through her thick, full eyelashes.
“Saguru, you’re being completely ridiculous.”
“Nah, Shinichi, let Saguru use this as an opportunity to make Aoko-san jealous!” Kaito squealed, eyes lit up in mischievous glee. “It will be so fun!”
“You shouldn’t bait Aoko-san like that, Kaito. It’s not nice,” Shinichi furrowed his eyebrows at the angel.
Kaito just cackled. “Nah, what’s wrong with a little harmless fun, Shinichi?” He turned to his human. “So what do you say? A pick-up line? Girls love your British accent.”
‘She doesn’t seem like a lady that would easily fall for it,’ Saguru remarked sadly. ‘What if she dislikes me because I’m half foreigner?’
“Nobody that judges you on that deserves your time, then,” Shinichi stated matter-of-factly.
“Yeah! You’re great, Saguru!” Kaito chirped. “Now, how about a drawing on the blackboard?”
‘Class will start in 10 minutes. I don’t have enough time to make a masterpiece…’
“You can’t draw anyways. Also, the teacher would erase your work for the next class.”
“Quit being a spoilsport, Shinichi. How about flowers, Saguru?”
‘There’s only wildflowers around the school. I can’t make a beautiful bouquet…’
“Chocolates?”
‘Where can I get them?’
“Recite a poem!”
‘Too clichéd.’
“Recite Sherlock Holmes!”
‘Actually…’
“NO! Bad idea! Shinichi, stop sabotaging Saguru!”
‘Koizumi-hime deserved better…’
“Kiss her hand!”
‘I don’t deserve to touch her!’
“Not like that! As in, a gentlemanly introduction move!”
“Saguru is not smooth enough to pull it off, Kaito.”
‘Oh look at the way the light glints in her eyes…’
“JUMP ON THE CLASS TABLE AND SING HER A SONET THEN!” Kaito cried out, completely fed up.
And from then on, Saguru always referred to what happened that day as The Incident That Shall Not Be Named.
~*:*:*:*~
