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User's Manual: Handling Bakugou Katsuki, 1st edition

Summary:

After repeated begging, the formal Bakugou Whisperer Kirishima Eijirou and Bakugou Encyclopedia Midoriya Izuku sit down and write a guide on dealing with Bakugou Katsuki and staying alive afterwards, with some additional notes from them on every point.

After Kamino Ward.

Notes:

The combination of reading several chatfics has brought about this fic. Nothing deep to it, just my ideas on Bakugou Katsuki and how to deal with him.

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Bakugou Katsuki is a complex individual, with a lot of nuances that may not be immediately obvious, sicne the most people see is how he is annoyed by everyone in general, rude, abrasive, and still has a lot to learn before he can become a Pro Hero. However, since more and more people have been asking how to live and interact with him and stay alive, we ( Kirishima Eijirou and Midoriya Izuku ), as formal Bakugou Whisperer and Bakugou Encyclopedia, have decided to pen down the most important things you need to keep in mind when dealing with him. This is only the first edition, for things will likely evolve as the time goes on.

  1. He’ll probably never call you by your name; get used to it.

As stated before, Katsuki just doesn’t like people, period, and making him actually say your name is, generally speaking, an exercise in futility (if he refuses to call his own mum and dad by anything other than nicknames, you don’t stand a snowball's chance in hell). That being said, there are different levels of nicknames he gives to people, and you can divine from them exactly how he feels about you.

 

        a) Descriptive, mildly offensive nicknames

 

Examples: Round Face, Shitty Hair, Glasses, IcyHot, Soysauce, Dunce Face, etc .

Congratulations, you’ve officially earned yourself a spot in Bakugou Katsuki’s Approved list! It may not seem that way, but if the nickname is not outright trying to kill you due to the level of sass or poking at your weak spots, it means that a) he knows exactly who you are, and b) is okay with your existence in his general vicinity.

This does not give you the automatic right to give him your own nickname back, but it does mean he won’t blow off your face the moment you open your mouth in his earshot with nearly 99.99% probability (see 1.d) for exceptions to the rule).

Izuku: Preemptively speaking, most of the exceptions will be centered around me.

Eijirou: Yeah, I know. Perks of knowing him for so long, right?

Izuku: Perks, he says...

 

 

        b) Descriptive, highly offensive nicknames

 

Examples: Handsy Bastard, Bloodsucking Bitch, Misty Fucker, etc.

Err… I don’t know how to put it nicely, but you’re fucked. No, really, you’re screwed. Katsuki only uses this sort of nicknames for people that actually go a step beyond being general annoyances to him (like the majority of the world) and make him hate them. Like stated in a), descriptive nicknames means that he knows who you are, and, well… Katsuki doesn’t really tolerate the existence of people he hates. One could say he goes out of his way to get rid of them… in any way he can.

So far, the only noted receivers of this type of nicknames are League of Villains members (understandable, considering his history with them), and Monoma Neito. So far, he hasn’t tried to kill Monoma, but… that could change at any moment. 

Izuku: I’m actually worried about the guy - should we warn Kendo?

Eijirou: Nah, that guy’s an idiot - if he doesn’t learn how to survive UA, he’ll be a pretty bad Pro.

Izuku: That makes too much sense.

Eijirou: I know, and I hate it.

 

 

         c) Non-descriptive nicknames, varying in levels of offensiveness

 

You… you’re a non-existence to Katsuki. Sorry? You’re just sideline characters, and he doesn’t really bother with remembering people like you.

Eijirou: ...has he always been like this?

Izuku: Pretty much! It was sort of a badge of honor to have a Bakugou nickname in the Junior High, no matter how offensive - it meant that at least he knew who you were.

Eijirou: Wow! That explains so much about the dynamics between the two of you, and why you let him call you Deku. I don’t think I could do that back then - you’re super manly!

Izuku: Ahahaha, thank you Kirishima-kun! And like I said, the things between us were… really convoluted back then. I’m actually happy we’ve finally started to untangle and sort everything out, to be honest.

 

 

         d) Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko, Bakugou Mitsuki, Bakugou Masaru and teachers

 

The group of people stated above are the exceptions to all of the nickname rules above, due to two factors. One, Katsuki grew up with his parents, Izuku and his mom. Two, he still has to address the teachers with some sort of respect, so the nickname rules have to change to accommodate that.

Izuku’s nickname Deku is a messy thing that would take a whole booklet by itself just to explain, but here’s long and short of it. One: it used to be a derogatory nickname, but it’s now Izuku’s Hero Name. Two: if anyone, and I repeat, ANYONE , uses it outside of Class 1-A in a non-Pro Hero setting or in an offensive way, you will be getting a face full of nitroglycerin-fueled explosions. End of the story. Only Katsuki gets to call Izuku Deku in any sort of negative way.

Izuku: I’ll put it up here for everyone: I have a good reason for calling him Kacchan now, and he has a good reason for calling me Deku. Do NOT try and get him to stop and then hypocritically not scold me for doing the same thing. There are things between the two of us we haven’t told anyone (yes, even you Kirishima-kun, sorry), and the reason why we keep calling each other the childish nicknames is one of them.

Eijirou: So, it’s a secret?

Izuku: Yes. Do Not Test Us. (Yes, this means you, Ashido-san, Hagakure-san!)

Eijirou: Okay, okay! Just wondering…

Izuku: Don’t worry, one day, I’m sure he’ll tell you. For now though, leave it.

 

The nicknames for his parents are shitty old man and old hag : they normally fall into ‘descriptive, highly offensive’ category, but like I said, they’re exceptions to the rules. Midoriya Inko is the only one he actually addresses by the name (or well, sort of) - he calls her Auntie Inko because, again, he and her have lived close to each other for years, and she and Bakugou Mitsuki are good friends.

Eijirou: Don’t you call Bakumom Auntie Mitsuki?

Izuku: I do! Auntie and Uncle are exceptions to my general ‘do not call people by nicknames’ rule. Also, Bakumom?

Eijirou: No comment.

 

The teachers… they depend. It can be a little difficult to figure out what he thinks about certain teachers since he’s not allowed to be outright rude to them, but in general, if he gives them a nickname and tacks on ‘sensei’ at the end of it by the end of the first week, he approves of them!

Eijirou: … Vlad King-sensei should probably watch out then, right?

Izuku: Nah, he’s just a non-entity at this point, but he continues teaching us and he doesn’t give him a nickname plus ‘sensei’... yeah, he should watch out. Kacchan gets creative when he wants to make someone’s life hell.

Eijirou: I’m almost afraid to ask…

Izuku: Good.

 

  1. He couldn’t care less about people’s opinion on him as a person, but cares a lot about people’s opinion on his work as a Hero.

This fact kind of goes hand in hand with the first one - since he doesn’t care about people’s opinion on him, he calls them by a string of nicknames. However, when it comes to his work, he gets obsessive, pedantic, and prickly. It’s just how Katsuki is: he always wants to be the best, and that often means that he can react rather explosively at any sort of critique, since he always gives his 110%. That being said, he will listen to you and your critique if you package it like a sandwich: a layer of praise, a layer of critique, and a layer of praise again. You’ll be surprised at how quickly he’ll incorporate your critique/advice into his methods!

Fair warning though: nothing gets him more irritated at people than meaningless flattery. I’m not kidding you: he’d rather have you throw every single flaw of his into his face in one long rant ( Izuku: yes, I have the list itemized and alphabetically sorted, and no, I won’t be sharing, get your own! ) than shower him in meaningless praise.

Eijirou: Yeah, Bakubro’s like that. Speaking of the list -

Izuku: No.

Eijirou: But Midobro -!

Izuku: NO. If I give you the list, it will find its way to the class group chat, and that’s the last thing Kacchan needs. There’s Sensitive Stuff in there.

Eijirou: Like… the camp?

Izuku: Camp is just the tip of the iceberg.

Eijirou: You mean... 

Izuku: Yup.

Eijirou: I’m sorry for bothering you.

Izuku: No, it’s alright! From a rational standpoint, you probably should know most of the things from the list, but the problem is I’m the only one who currently knows those things because I was there and Kacchan didn’t give me permission -

Eijirou: Midobro, you’re rambling.

Izuku: Whoops!

  1. He’s insanely competitive. Challenge him at your own risk.

Listen, it may seem cool, or a good idea, or even a good prank, to challenge Katsuki to anything. The key work here is may . Speaking from long years of experience, my heartfelt advice to you is: don’t, if you can’t back it up . Katsuki’s insanely competitive, even over the smallest of things - up and including who’s going to get more fires going for cooking at the campsite. Class 1-A and those who deal with them are mostly aware of this, so I’m speaking to everyone else: unless you’re really, really good at what you’re challenging Katsuki on, or have enough bull-headed determination to keep pace with him, don’t challenge him at anything. It’ll save you quite a bit of trouble, and keep you whole and un-exploded.

Also, don’t ever, ever, EVER challenge him at spicy food consumption. You’re gonna lose. I’m telling you this to save you the acid you’ll be puking after he leaves you in the dust and not even sweating a bit.

Eijirou: My man Tetsutetsu is amazing and I love my bro, but anyone who challenges Bakubro at spice-off is a moron.

Izuku: Did he ever tell you about him eating an entire bowl of ghost peppers at a fancy restaurant on a dare, and winning him, Auntie and Uncle a whole month of free food there?

Eijirou: He did!

  1. He loves to win, but he loves the struggle to get to that win even more.

Something that Class 1-A is also fairly well aware of, but most people surprisingly aren’t: Katsuki hates easy wins. He’d rather get a beating of his life from the opponent he can’t easily beat than have the opponent who can give him a lot of trouble folding easily, or, even worse, half-assing it. Yes, that’s the reason why he was so pissed at Todoroki during the Sports Festival, Aizawa- sensei ( Izuku: Todoroki-kun had his reasons why. I won’t be sharing, but I understand them both. Eijirou: That must be a hell of a reason to get a Midoriya seal of approval - he doesn’t tolerate a lot of bullshit. ), and that’s why you should never, ever give him an easy win - unless, of course, your aim is to piss him off.

Eijirou: That one’s on Mina, right?

Izuku: I know Kacchan is amazing at Mario Kart, and seeing him rage over an easy win can be fun sometimes, but please, don’t do it - Cementoss-sensei might actually stop repairing all the structural damage, and then we’ll be fucked.

Eijirou: MIDOBRO!

Izuku: What?

Eijirou: You just swore!

Izuku: You are aware I grew up with Auntie and Kacchan, right?

Eijirou: Fair.

  1. When he is in one of his moods, Do Not Approach - unless you can either speak fluent Bakugou or are Aizawa-sensei or All Might-sensei.

It’s a little known fact, but Katsuki has his own moods - times when he’s just had enough of everyone and everything. It’s usually a result of high stress, high pressure, and/or just general buildup of all the little things - combined with some rather unfortunate side-effects of his Quirk, it means that his moods get a little… nasty. It’ll mostly manifest as him being unusually acerbic and nasty to everyone (including those he likes), talking back at teachers, constantly looking like he’s at the verge of starting a fight, and trying to provoke people into screaming matches. As for right now, the only people fully fluent in Bakugou are Kirishima Eijirou and Midoriya Izuku (although in a pinch Hanta Sero and Todoroki Shouto will also do), so call them, plus one of the two teachers listed above, whichever one is free, to help him get through his moods. Whatever happens during those moods, refrain from holding it against him - they’re mostly the result of his Quirk playing havoc with him and him trying to control without doing too much damage, and he’s still too prideful to ask for help directly, so you have to help him out.

Izuku: The last one was really bad.

Eijirou: Yeah. Iida was lucky Denki recognized the signs and called me on the scene before it got too out of hand. Thanks, by the way, for calling All Might-sensei - that was exactly what he needed.

Izuku: I had a feeling it would. :D

  1. Don’t be afraid to speak up - or learn the Sign Language.

One of the unfortunate side-effects of Katsuki’s Quirk is the fact he’s hard of hearing. His body protected itself from the loud explosions he can generate by thickening the eardrums so they wouldn’t overload the middle and inner ear with the vibrations - that, however, also means he has a difficult time sometimes figuring out what you’re saying, particularly if you have a heavy accent or are prone to mumbling, and will often yell at you to speak up. If you want to say something to him, don’t be afraid to speak up - looking at him directly is the best option (he knows how to lip-read), but learning Sign Language will also net you some extra points with him. Don’t be fooled though - just because he has issues with hearing, it does not mean he can’t hear that you’re talking, he’s just not 100% sure what you’re talking about, so don’t try and pass around secrets in that way. One, it makes you a really bad human being, and two, you’ll end up with your face exploded. Just saying.

Eijirou: Poor Mina.

Izuku: Poor Mina.

  1. Do not, for the love of all that’s holy, ever call someone just ‘Sensei’, without the name, in his direct earshot.

This is really just for his sanity: Do Not. Class 1-A and Aizawa- sensei know better than to do so, and we’d be thankful if you could spare us all the heartbreak and terror of having to get him through yet another nightmare or a panic attack. 

Eijirou: I never actually figured out the precise why. I mean, I got the general idea, but..

Izuku: One of Shigaraki’s mentor’s and the main brains behind League of Villains’ names is Sensei and he’s… he’s a piece of work. Like, there’s so much I could tell you about him, but I’m not sure if you’d believe me.

Eijirou: Try me.

Izuku: He first locked up his own little brother in a vault, and then later killed him, because they disagreed on his methods.

Eijirou: ...fuck.

Izuku: And that’s only the beginning.

Eijirou: FUCK.

  1. If he wants to cook, let him cook.

Katsuki is a very good cook - albeit with a disturbing adoration for spices that only a few humans can stomach - but he also likes to use cooking to organize his thoughts and decompress after a tiring day. Just let him do so. If he insists, ignore the system in place, and let him do whatever he wants - although it might be prudent to hide all the most potent spices away in that case, and only return them after the food has been served for him to do his own spicing up. No one wants the repeat of the Great Bathroom Disaster.

Izuku: Yes Iida-kun, this one’s on you.

Eijirou: It was pretty funny though, watching Bakubro eviscerate him over the quality of Prez’s cooking.

Izuku: You… may have a point.  

  1. If you hear ‘Die, shitty Deku’ early in the morning, do not worry - it’s just Midoriya winning the morning race again.

That ties into the number 4 on the list - Izuku’s beating him, and he won’t pipe down until he can claim the title of the fastest person without a Quirk in Class 1-A; this is just one of the ways he shows it.

Izuku: The face he makes whenever I get through that finish line first is amazing.

Eijirou: Midobro, you’re insane.

  1. If he starts exhibiting behavior that does not line up with anything in this manual, call Kirishima or Midoriya for consultation; until then, treat him as an impostor.

Eijirou: Do not ABUSE this, though!!!

Izuku: Seconded! If we catch you doing this, you will be sorry. I promise you, whatever hell Kacchan can cook up, Kirishima-kun and I will make it worse .