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Language:
English
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Published:
2020-09-20
Updated:
2020-10-18
Words:
19,959
Chapters:
9/?
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59
Kudos:
107
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Allen's Not-Very-Well-Thought-Out Revenge! (But Kanda is Hot and Allen Can't Help Himself)

Summary:

It's been eight years since Allen Walker had set foot in Japan. Eight years since Mana's death, and since he'd last saw Kanda Yuu— his childhood bully.

Allen isn't the petty type, but after what Kanda did to him? He deserves a taste of his own medicine. Even if that means finding a way to get the Ice Prince of Order High School to date him! And then dumping him. Too bad Kanda has other plans...

 

(A Masamune-kun's Revenge AU without all the pantie shots (unless you want to see some underwear... ahem Allen's or Kanda's? Pick your poison. But I guess it wouldn't be a pantie shot if Kanda's just taking off his pants...) and horrible ending)

Notes:

lmao this is f u c k i n g crack

Chapter 1: Perverted Pig

Chapter Text

After spending all of his middle school years in America, far from Japan— where he’d grown up, even though he was of European descent —Allen had finally returned to his childhood home. Of course, he didn’t look anything like what he previously looked like, but that was kind of the point. 

 

Most of it was unintentional, but in the end, it had all suited his purposes, as he came to live with his Uncle Neah again. 

 

Neah had been excited to hear that Allen was returning to Japan for good this time, after such a long time in America with his guardian Cross. 

 

(There was more to the story, but he didn’t need to delve too deep at the moment. It wasn’t important.) 

 

Cross let out a puff of smoke from his cigarette as they entered the train station. Bold Japanese was displayed on the overhead sign, blinking periodically, but Allen was glaring at the cancer stick in Cross’ mouth. 

 

His guardian did nothing but drop it onto the concrete and crush it in his foot before returning Allen’s glare. “There, you satisfied idiot apprentice?” 

 

Allen crossed his arms. “If you’d quit smoking all together I’d be much happier,” He told him with a slight pout. 

 

“It’s too late to try that shit,” Cross mumbled in perfect Japanese, and Allen sighed heavily. “If you would’ve come around my ten years earlier you probably could’ve stopped me,” 

 

Well, at least he was being honest. 

 

Allen turned away from his guardian, and Cross chuckled. “Okay, I guess I’ll try, just for you squirt,” 

 

He almost wanted to say something snarky, but Cross was dragging him onto the train before he could even open his mouth. He narrowed his eyes in annoyance as his guardian practically shoved him into one of the free seats on the train and sat next to him. 

 

Was he excited to see Neah after so long? Probably. Probably more excited than Allen himself, seeing as he and Neah had been friends long before Allen had even been adopted by Mana. 

 

Allen pulled out his phone, ignoring how Cross’ hand itched to reach into his pocket to grab more cigarettes. He wouldn’t hit him while on the train. (Neah would’ve.) 

 

He scrolled through the News, trying to find any inkling as to what had been happening during all the years he’d been learning in America. Or maybe he should be catching up on the memes, but whatever. 

 

Anyway, he found himself scrolling through an article talking about the newly rebuilt and remodeled Order High School. A school for the unbelievably smart and talented. Izuku would be attending it starting tomorrow, and he once again felt his stomach clench with worry. 

 

Anxiety climbed up his throat and he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He hadn’t gone to a school in Japan since elementary school. What if he forgot to take off his shoes before entering?! 

 

God he was definitely going to make a fool of himself, wasn’t he? What if he got lost?

“Damn, I can hear you worrying from over here,” Cross told him gruffly. “You’ve only been gone for a little while,” 

 

Allen clutched his head and groaned. “It was years,” He whispered, mostly to himself, “I’ve been gone for years, Cross,” 

 

“Not much has changed, though,” Cross told him, “It’s not like you’re in a foreign country. You grew up here,” 

 

Okay, fair point. He thought to himself, setting his phone onto his lap for a moment. The train whipped past the city and into a more suburban area that Allen recognized. The cherry blossom trees were already in full bloom, and the wind only helped in spreading the petals around the ground. 

 

In fact, he realized as he shoved his phone in his back pocket, the petals were everywhere. Not a single surface in sight was free of the small pastel flower petals. Familiar nostalgia washed over him as he walked around with Cross following closely behind. 

 

Cross would never admit it out loud, but he loved Allen like he was his own son. Allen pretended not to know as his guardian secretly watched out for any threats. He was an overly paranoid guardian due to his habit to rack up debt. 

 

Allen knew first-hand how deep the man could go, before Allen had to drag him out of it. The walk to Neah’s house was a short one, and theoretically his walk to school would be even shorter. That was comforting at least, considering how easily he got lost. 

 

And speaking of being lost… 

 

From behind him, Cross rolled his eyes and sighed. “This way, beansprout,” 

 

“Hey!” Allen exclaimed, following after him as he led them the rest of the way there. “Don’t start calling me that again!” 

 

Cross’ smug look was enough to have Allen sighing in defeat as they finally reached Neah’s front door. As if he was trying to be as annoying as possible, Cross held down the doorbell button until Neah came to the front door looking flustered and caught off-guard as he took in the appearance of his nephew and his long time best friend. 

 

“Long time no see, Neah,” Cross grumbled as if he wasn’t the least bit excited to be here. Neah’s grin made it obvious that he knew exactly how excited Cross was to see him. He moved out of the doorway and ushered them inside. 

 

“I was just finishing cleaning up your room Allen,” He explained, as Allen looked around in surprise. It was a lot cleaner than he remembered it being. “It’s a little messy right now, but—”

 

“I don’t remember it ever being this clean,” Cross commented with a smirk. “You trying to impress the short stack?” 

 

“Stop calling me names!” Allen exclaimed in annoyance. Cross just ignored him and ventured into the kitchen. 

 

“Where’s the beer?” Cross asked from across the house.

 

“The cabinet next to the fridge!” Neah told him, before turning to Allen with a bright smile. “Now Allen, it’s been so long! What’ve you been up to? How was America?” 

 

Allen felt a little overwhelmed but smiled nonetheless. “It was… different,” He explained, “The music programs there were really good though, I learned a lot!” 

 

Neah brightened at the mention of music, as he always did, and Allen’s smile felt a little more real this time. 

 





Allen left Cross and Neah to their own devices the next morning as he got dressed for school. The dress shirt he wore was kind of uncomfortable to wear against the sensitive skin of his scarred arm. The blazer didn’t help at all, but Allen definitely didn’t want to stick out more than he already was going to. 

 

His white hair and scar running down his face were sure to draw more than a few curious glances. If he showed up wearing something that wasn’t the uniform then it’d be even worse. 

 

He already suffered enough as it is, why not add being infinitely uncomfortable to this list? 

 

Allen slipped on a pair of gloves and finally grabbed his bag before heading downstairs. Neah and Cross were talking about random things as he came down. They both looked up, and Cross grinned at him. 

 

“What?” He snapped, not feeling in the mood for Cross’ antics this early. 

 

“Nothin’, you gonna eat?” He asked, gesturing to the food sitting on the table. 

 

Allen suddenly nodded eagerly and sat himself down. He instantly started to shovel food into his mouth at an alarming rate, and not even five minutes later thanked Neah for making him the food. 

 

Neah waved him off, explaining that it was the least he could do. Especially after everything that Allen had gone through. 

 

The last part had Allen’s expression souring a tad bit, but he pushed through it and left before Neah could say anything about it. 

 

After all, he’d come to Japan for a reason. Aside from wanting to live with Neah again, Allen had a plan. A plot, if he was being honest. 

 

He’d come here for revenge against a certain stoic and stone-cold samurai for all the mean and hurtful things he’d said when they were kids. 

 

Yeah, it was unbelievably petty, but Allen deserved to be petty. The things Kanda Yuu had done to him were unforgivable. He tightened his grip on his bag and took in the scenery around him. 

 

The familiar cherry blossoms that littered the street and floated lazily into his hair. The sidewalks there were cracked because of how old they were. The stray cats that never seemed to have a home, even after all these years. 

 

Allen sighed, as he neared the school. He passed the soccer field as he neared the school entrance, and a couple of girls who were at soccer practice noticed his hair and started whispering to one another. Awkwardly he walked a little faster until— 

 

“Hey, you’re our new transfer student Allen Walker, right?” A girl with pigtails asked, running up to intercept him. Allen opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. “Didn’t you score one hundred percent on the entrance exam? No one’s ever done that before!” 

 

“U-uh,” Allen began awkwardly, “Yeah I d-did,” 

 

“That’s so cool!” She replied, twirling her hair around her finger as she spoke. “I like your hair by the way,” 

 

Allen couldn’t help the blush that colored his cheeks. “Ah, c’mon Lena-Lady! You’re freaking him out!”

 

“I am not! Right, Allen?” The girl continued, ignoring the red-head who’d come up behind her to grin at Allen. He had an eyepatch covering one of his eyes and a headband around his head. “My name is Lenalee Lee, nice to meet you!”

 

“Nice to meet you as well,” Allen responded, and Lavi threw his arm around Lenalee’s shoulder. 

 

“The name’s Lavi,” He said, with a smirk. “We’re gonna be the same class,” 

 

“O-Oh, well that’s good,” Allen told him, shifting on his feet awkwardly. “I get lost pretty easy—” 

 

“Oh man, same,” Lavi mumbled with a slight twinkle in his eyes. “We can get lost together!” 

 

Okay, so that actually doesn’t sound too bad. 

 

Allen smiled. “Oh, I can even walk you to school!” Lavi continued, turning to Lenalee, “See you later babe!” 

 

Lenalee rolled her eyes good-naturedly and waved at Allen as Lavi grabbed his hand and practically dragged him the rest of the way to the school. Allen blinked. He hadn’t expected to make friends so quickly here… Or at all. 

 

A lot of times in America his classmates had avoided him like the plague, but it wasn’t his place to be angry with them. He was an abomination, ever since the incident—

 

“We’re here!” Lavi exclaimed, with a wide smile. “Order High School—” 

 

“Oh, is another guy confessing his love for the Ice Prince?”  Someone mumbled, and Lavi had gone pale. 

 

Allen furrowed his brow. Lavi looked up to the rooftop of the school building. It was bigger than the school he’d gone to in America, that was for sure. It was in good condition as he expected. 

 

It had been remodeled very recently, so it was quite modern. It had the usual four floors as every other school in the area, but it was much cleaner. 

 

There were cherry blossom trees planted by the doors, but what had caught Lavi’s attention was—

 

Kanda Yuu. In his hand was a microphone, and more people began to whisper to one another. 

 

“Oh damn,” Someone mumbled, “I don’t think it’s going to go well for Takashi-kun,” 

 

“He doesn’t seem to be the Ice Prince’s type at all,” A girl replied, “I don’t even think he likes other guys,” 

 

“Well, he doesn’t seem to enjoy the presence of women either,” 

 

“Fair point,” 

 

“What’s…” Allen began, drawing Lavi’s attention. “What’s going on?” 

 

“Oh! Yuu-chan is just rejecting someone again today!” Lavi told him, but his face was pale and apologetic as Kanda tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. 

 

“Che,” Kanda’s voice cut through the murmur. Allen didn’t like the way his eyes shined with malice and amusement. “Takashi Yamada, you asked me out last week,” 

 

Allen’s widened at such a public display of… whatever the hell this was.

 

Takashi smiled hopefully. “Because of this, I had Lenalee run a background check on you,” Kanda stated simply, with no sign of remorse. Takashi froze. “As a result, I see that you’re not even into men at all. In fact, just yesterday you went to a maid café alone and was seen trying to look up the skirt of the waitress who was serving you. You were also spotted buying the light novel called Oh Jeez! I’m Ryuubi Gentoku in a Genderswapped ‘Romance of the Three Kingdoms’ And I worry about the internet-serialized novel you’ve been writing, whose protagonist shares the same name as you,” 

 

At this, the crowd around Takashi Yamada moved as far away from him as possible. Genderswapped? What the hell—? 

 

But Kanda wasn’t done. 

 

“What’s more, is that you always have a single hair growing on the mole located on your chest. From this day forth, I grant you this name: Perverted Pig,” 

 

Kanda’s smile was pure evil. As he said all this. 

 

Allen was beginning to regret coming back to Japan already… 

 

Then he turned away, his long hair reaching his waist as he left the rooftop. “Damn… and I like Takashi-kun…” 

 

“Well if he’s Perverted pig now, there’s really nothing we can do…” 

 

“He’s merciless,” 

 

“Someone would be out of their mind to try and date that monster,” 

 

“Scary,” 

 

“But he’s kinda hot, isn’t he?” 

 

“That’s the Ice Prince for you,”  

 

What. The. Actual. Fuck.