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It was a Friday night, and it was decidedly past curfew. So technically they were all breaking the rules. Not that that was unusual for Annabeth. Or the others really. Here they were sitting in a circle, on the floor of Percy’s cabin, stars visible through the window, and water from the rebuilt fountain bubbling.
“Truth or dare?”
Breaking the rules was certainly not foregin to Annabeth, but maybe she should’ve protested, because now it was past midnight, and she was sitting across from Percy, who was wearing flannel pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt several times too large. Seeing him in this context was certainly different. She had seen him sleeping plenty of times, but that was on quests, where he was wearing the same dirty clothes and they were both filthy. But now his hair is damp and fluffy, and his pajama bottoms look so soft, and the sweatshirt is- stop thinking like that. Not to mention that they hadn’t been spending much time together since the summer. She still saw him every weekend, for missions, but she didn’t talk to him much even then. Not for his lack of trying.
“Dare.”
And, she hadn’t seen him last weekend. Chiron had canceled their mission, without telling her why. Not that she was complaining. It saved her the multi-hour pegasus ride from San-Francisco to New York. But she hadn’t gotten to see Percy, which shouldn’t bug me, since I’m avoiding him . Regretfully, she’d missed his crooked smile when they were successful, the way they fought together seamlessly, the sarcastic comments he made to monsters. Even the slightly unsettling laugh he sometimes made when fighting. Okay, maybe I’m complaining a little.
“I dare you to… take your brother’s sock off with your teeth.”
She let her eyes wander from the window to Percy. He hasn’t gained much weight since Mt. St. Helens, there are slight bags under his eyes, and he’s fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweatshirt anxiously, which is odd considering that they are in his cabin, around friends. Even Clarisse left her spear in the Ares cabin. At the beginning of the night, when he kept blowing his hair out of his face, he let Silena gather the top section in a little bun, and now pieces are falling out.
“Eulgh, gross.” Connor says, spitting out Travis’s sock. “Okay, my turn.” He looks around the circle, eyes floating over each participant, suggesting that he doesn’t care about what or who he asks. Which is good, this is supposed to be an easy game. He moves past Clarisse, Travis, Silena, herself, and Beckendorf, landing on the fidgeting Percy.
“Percy, truth or dare?” Percy swallows, but answers quickly.
“Truth.” Connor takes a moment before asking his question.
“What are you scared of?”
Annabeth’s gaze on Percy focuses. He bites his lip, seeming to think for a moment. Except the moment stretches, and a minute passes. She can see that his lip is bleeding a little. He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth, his breath hitches and he brings the heels of his hands to his eyes.
“In August-” He starts, and he doesn’t really need to finish, but he keeps going “I’m going to die. And I’m afraid.”
His cheeks have reddened and he ducks his head down, starting to ramble.
“I mean- I’ve been to the underworld, but it’s going to be different isn’t it? I’m going to be dead. What if I fail? What if Kronos wins and then I’m sent down there and-” His shoulders shake, she watches a tear land on his pajama pants. “Even if we win I’ll be-”
Beckendorf has a hand on Percy’s back as he tries to stifle his sobbing. Silena has crossed the circle to sit next to him. The others are looking around awkwardly, he clearly doesn’t want them to see this.
He keeps his head down but their eyes meet for a second. He glances away and wipes his face. Silena moves back to her spot a while later. Beckendorf still has his hand on Percy’s back, but the moment’s passed. The way he looked away from her, she’s done damage there. Maybe it’s selfish of her. Abandoning him for the past months, afraid that he’ll leave her, choose Rachel, and in a way he already has. But now she’s left him, their friendship, deflated, and he’s so afraid, afraid of leaving forever. But she can’t bring herself back to their old relationship, not when he’s friends with Rachel, not when her feelings are more .
“I believe it’s my turn now.” Silena says, drawing the last of the attention away from Percy.
The game deteriorates from there, and eventually they are all lying heads close together on the floor asking random questions to the group.
“Worst injury from a mortal? And when.” Clarisse says, throwing a ball in the air and catching it. Annabeth can feel Silena’s head shifting against hers, turning towards Percy? Or maybe, Beck, probably just Beck.
“Black eye. Like a year or two ago.” Connor says.
“Me too.” Travis adds.
“Bruises. Couple months ago.” Beckendorf grunts.
“Just a little scrape, no blood drawn, it was an accident. I was seven.” Silena says, but her voice sounds a little unsteady. Her head shifts again.
“Bruises, four years ago.” Annabeth says.
“Cut in a streetfight, but it barely bled, and a few bruises. Seven years old.” Clarisse says. That leaves Percy last. He hesitates a moment, his voice cracks a little.
“Glass cuts, a few gashes, stab wounds, internal bleeding and some bruising.” He says, the room is quiet. “One of the stab wounds was when I was nine, but the rest was like a week ago.” He adds quietly. This gets Annabeth’s attention. She bolts upright.
“What?”
“I’m fine now Annabeth.”
“Is this why our mission last weekend was cancelled?” He sits up but averts his gaze. He seems to be doing that a lot recently.
“Yeah.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I was just on bed rest for a few days.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You- we haven’t- I didn’t think you’d want to talk.”
“If it was bad enough where you were on bed rest, then of course I’d want to talk! What happened?” He looks away again.
“It… it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters, if someone beat you within an inch of your life it matters!” She’s standing over him now. The others are watching their exchange quietly. He stands too, and they're the same height now, she didn’t realize.
“I’m fine Annabeth, I got them to go away.”
“Them? It was a group?”
“Does it matter?” She doesn’t really know, she knows the conversation isn’t going anywhere. “I’m fine okay, Beck and Silena were with me in the infirmary, okay? I’m good!” That felt like a slap in the face. He had been in the infirmary, and she hadn’t been there, others had. No matter how much she loved Beckendorf and Silena, she had always been there.
“Fine, I guess you don’t want to talk!” She shouts, then spins on her heel, leaving his cabin.
She’s halfway to the Athena cabin when she hears him behind her.
“Really Annabeth! You want to talk? Let’s talk!” She stops in her tracks but doesn’t turn around, she can tell he is 10 feet behind her, and his breathing is ragged. His voice is carelessly loud.
“Because I’ve been trying to talk to you since June! Everytime I come up to you, you leave! When we message you only talk about missions, and the second it turns personal you hang up! And I have so much to tell you, so much has happened!” He takes a shaky breath before starting again, speaking even faster “I got an A on a math quiz! I got beat up at school! My mom got engaged! I haven’t slept in a week because everytime I go back to that volcano! I haven’t eaten in three days! I cut myself, I fucking cut myself,” Wait, he did what? “I was so stupid and I only wanted to talk to you, but I can’t die until Augu-”
“Percy?” He’s suddenly quiet, she turns around. “Percy!” He’s on the grass. “C’mon, wake up, wake up. You can’t leave me.”
She must’ve shouted for help, because people are all around them now. Friends from the cabin mixed with other campers. Some people are shoved to the side. Big brown arms lifting him off the ground, slender ones encircling her. He was being carried away and she was crying, reaching for him. She was pulled into a warm body, a soft shirt, hair that tickled her nose, a sweet smell. She wanted to puke.
She’s had a lot of time to think. She’s still mad, mad that he didn’t tell her about whatever happened last week, mad about him cutting himself, mad that he wasn’t sleeping, mad he wasn’t eating, mad he spent so much time with Rachel. Maybe anger isn’t the right thing to feel but it’s all she has.
“Annabeth?” His eyelids flutter open. “Gods, please don’t let it be Beck and Silena again. I don’t think they’d let me live it down if I did that twice.” So he asked for me last time?
“It’s me Seaweed Brain.” Her tone is sharp. He’s looking groggy, now sitting up in bed, trying not to fidget with the IV.
“I’m sorry ‘Beth.” He says desolately, not meeting her gaze. He looks bad, she realizes, almost as bad as when he showed up at his funeral.
“Tell me.”
“I- I’m not ready. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“There is no sorry here, Percy.” She gets out of her chair and leaves the infirmary. She doesn’t see Percy trying to get out of bed and stumbling. She doesn’t see him wipe tears off his face, just like her. She steps out into the night, cold and unwelcoming.