Work Text:
Logan wanted to start filming on Monday.
Roman told him he was “almost done” the script.
That was a lie. He had barely started.
His lip quivered as he looked at the first page of what would become a full script. Stupid Roman, letting yourself take a break after the video. He had lost so much valuable time sulking in his room. Of course he had lied, because god forbid he actually let himself make a mistake. Whenever he screwed up it seemed like he never even got to apologize, he just had to suffer through yet another screaming match.
Worthless.
So now, because he was stupid enough to take a break for two days, he only had 36 hours to draft, write, and edit an entire script.
He put his pencil to the paper and started.
———
Roman’s throat was dry.
He didn’t know how long it had been but he was in the zone. He physically couldn’t force himself to stop anymore. He was stuck on the treadmill, his pencil flying across the page. He didn’t even really process what he was writing, he just knew he had to continue.
He couldn’t fail, he couldn’t stop, couldn’t take a break until he was absolutely finished. Because what would Logan say if he showed up with nothing?
Roman’s breath caught in his throat.
Really Roman, slacking off and lying? You really are an idiot, now Thomas is behind and it’s all your fault, as usual.
He probably wasn’t breathing as he wrote the next line. He didn’t really realize.
———
One of the easiest things to give up when Roman needed to finish something was food.
With water, he always felt thirsty and at some point had to fumble for his water bottle, eyes still glued to the page. But food? He simply stopped feeling hungry.
Maybe it was more of ignoring it, but Roman just forgot to eat. He didn’t need to, didn’t want to.
Eating always made him feel like a failure anyway, so why should he bother?
———
His wrists were starting to ache.
His fingers felt stiff as a small part of his mind that wasn’t absorbed into his work remembered something Dr. Picanti had told him about arthritis and slowing down his workload and not overworking his wrists.
But that didn’t matter. Why should his health matter if he wasn’t contributing anything to Thomas?
———
He was so tired.
Roman’s hand cramped again and he was forced to stop. His grip was so mangled he couldn’t physically let go of the pencil without his joints feeling like they would snap like twigs.
His back hurt, a strained pain in his lower middle. He hadn’t moved in- well, he didn’t really know how long, not anymore.
And he wasn’t. Done. Yet.
He heard footsteps outside his door. His heart leapt with panic, suddenly racing in his chest.
No no no. He wasn’t finished! Just… a few more hours, he needed to finish!
“Roman? It’s been 56 hours since we last saw you, are you alright?”
LOGAN! Roman must’ve been away from people for too long, for he couldn’t control the yelp that leapt from his throat.
His heart raced in his chest. He was such a failure, he couldn’t even complete one simple task! Stupid, stupid, stupid…
Hand still clamped around his pencil, he started to bang his palm into the side of his head. His breath coming in choked gasps, he fought to control the tears rolling down his face.
Failure, total failure. Logan was going to come in and see how much he failed, then abandon him and all the others would too, because he was such a terrible, stupid, disgusting idiot who didn’t deserve anyone’s love-
“Roman! Have you been sitting there this whole time? Have you slept? Eaten?”
Logan was in his room now, no doubt trying to see if Roman had really tried his hardest, which he definitely hadn’t if he wasn’t able to finish.
He had to make it up to him, had to show him that he wasn’t a failure…
“Roman, breathe for me, okay?”
His chest hurt, his back hurt, his wrist hurt…
You have to make it up to him, you worthless piece of junk.
He didn’t trust his legs to hold him, but why should he when he would just end up begging on his knees for forgiveness. With one movement he threw himself from the chair and onto the hard wood floor.
He felt his knees crack and his legs protest as he bent forward into a huddled bow. His head spun like a tilt-a-whirl, shuttered cries pouring out his throat.
“I-I’m sorry!” He choked out between loud, pathetic sobs. “I tried to finish it, I swear, I’ll do better next time, I promise!” Tears rolled down his pale face, over the purplish under-eye bags and chapped lips.
Who was he kidding, Logan would never forgive him. He didn’t deserve Logan’s forgiveness. He was a pathetic excuse for a writer, wasting everyone’s time with his silly ideas.
Useless. Pathetic. Unnecessary.
He sobbed louder, curling up and beginning to bang his head against the solid ground. Useless, useless, useless-
“Roman, I need you to breathe for me, okay?”
Suddenly, there was Warmth.
A hand on his back, blooming, blossoming Warmth that helped starve off the darkness.
“Breathe in for four seconds.”
He tried, he tried to be good and do what was asked of him but he couldn’t, he failed again…
“Breathe, Roman. Look at me, okay?” Roman shakily lifted his head, his neck and back protesting, to meet Logan’s eyes.
He was holding up a phone screen, which had a little moving animated cat on it. Calming cat? What-
“Watch the phone screen, Roman, I know you’re a visual learner, so just… just keep your eyes on the screen and breathe in time with the cartoon cat.” Logan sounded distressed, great, just another thing Roman screwed up.
However, he did like watching the little cat sway back and forth. He tried to keep his breathing under control, inhaling and exhaling at the pace of the cat.
“Can I touch you?” Logan asked, and Roman nodded, eager for more Warmth.
“I’m going to pick you up and put you on your bed. Calming cat will have to go away for a second, are you okay with that?”
He didn’t know, he couldn’t trust himself to keep everything under control, not when he was such a screwup.
“You’re not a failure and it’s okay if you start panicking again. You have not failed me, or anyone, okay?”
Roman nodded, though he didn’t believe it.
“Am I okay to pick you up now?”
“Y-yeah…” Roman mumbled, his voice cracking from underuse.
Logan’s strong arms wrapped around his waist as shifted, trying to get into a position that would be easier for Logan to lift him. He ended up being held bridal style, with his arms curled like raptors into his chest.
He sunk into the soft mattress and comforter below him as Logan set him down. The plush bedding that he hadn’t seen for days cradled him in just the way he needed.
“Okay. Now do you want to watch calming cat for a while?”
Roman nodded shakily and Logan snapped his fingers, magically levitating his phone so it floated a foot away from Roman’s face.
“I’m going to leave for a second. I’m only going to your bathroom, okay?”
He nodded and focused on breathing and Calming cat.
He was such a failure. Such a terrible person for not getting his work done and then inconveniencing Logan with his struggles. If only he was stronger, he wouldn’t bother anyone anymore.
“I’m back, Roman. And I have a couple things for you.” Logan held up a bottle that Roman recognized as his arthritis medication. He also heard the sound of water running. “I’d like you to take these, and then we’ll get you in the bath and we can have a talk.”
Roman then realized his hand was still clamped around the pencil in an unmoving grip. Like a sick sort of plaster replica, he couldn’t move a muscle without his joints screaming in protest.
Logan gently placed a tablet on the back of his tongue and lifted a glass of water to his lips. After he swallowed the pill, Logan wiggled the pencil out of his clenched hand.
“Okay. Now would you like something to eat before or after you get in the bathtub?” Logan asked, clearly not able to be persuaded. Of course he thought Roman was weak and pathetic enough that he had to be bathed like a child, god, he really was great at wasting people’s time.
“Roman, you’re not inconveniencing me. Now, eat before or in the bath?”
He definitely wasn’t strong enough to even move on his own right now, and maybe some substance would help. “Eat now.” He said softly.
Logan nodded and summoned a pink bottle of something called Ensure.
“Now this is a protein drink. I thought since you haven’t eaten in over 48 hours it would be wise to give you something easy but substantial.” He flipped the bottle over to lightly glance over the ingredients. “Apparently this flavour tastes like strawberry milk.”
Something in the sea of Roman’s failure brightened at that. He liked strawberry milk.
“As your hands remain rather stiff, I shall help you to-“ Roman, not wanting to be any more of a burden, quickly grabbed the bottle between his clenched hands and began to drink from it.
What? It’s not like this hasn’t happened before. His arthritis got bad sometimes.
He did rather like the taste, and it did taste like strawberry milk.
After he finished it, which didn’t take long as he was pretty hungry, he looked up at Logan expectantly. “Okay, good job drinking the whole thing.” A faint, wobbly smile bloomed on his face at the praise. “Can you undress by yourself?” Logan said, taking the bottle from him and throwing it out.
“I… I don’t know.” He had been sitting for so long without food or moving at all, he wasn’t sure if his legs would let him stand.
“That’s alright.” Logan said softly. “Would you like me to assist you?”
“Yeah.” God, he was such a burden-
“You’re not a burden, you know.” Logan undid the snaps on his boots and pulled down the zipper on the side. Roman blushed both at his words and at the fact that he hadn’t showered in days.
“I was never expecting you to complete the script by the time I said. That was when I wanted a rough draft, or even a list of ideas.”
Roman blinked, completely in shock. “But you said-“
“I noticed you stopped paying attention midway through our conversation. I’m sorry, I should’ve said something or pulled you back in from wherever your mind was going.” Logan said, starting to unbutton Roman’s black slacks. “I am terribly sorry for making you spiral like this. You will never be a failure to me, Roman.”
Roman wouldn’t start crying, he can’t, he-
Tears roll down his flushed cheeks as he soaked in the words he so desperately needed to hear. Not that he totally believed them, but it was enough, for now.
He sobbed into his elbow, not wanting Logan to see him so… ruined. But god, he needed that. Needed someone he was so afraid of to say that he wasn’t a failure.
After a while of sobbing, Logan carefully supporting him, he sniffled and stopped his tears.
“I’m going to help you stand now, so we can remove your pants.”
“O-okay.”
Roman held on tight to Logan’s shoulder, as he shakily stood on his weak legs. He did not especially enjoy Logan undoing his belt and tugging his pants down like he was a toddler getting changed.
Speaking of that. “I kinda… I haven’t gone to the bathroom in a while…”
“Okay. Would you like me to give you some privacy?”
“Yes.” Roman did a little dance in his spot, suddenly really, really having to pee.
He walked faster than he probably should of after not moving for 52 hours. Well, he moved around hour 16 and hour 38 to, ironically, go pee.
After making sure he wouldn’t piss on Logan, god, he couldn’t handle that thought, he sheepishly started walking back over.
“Actually, stay there, Roman, we’re gonna get you in the bath.”
Roman turned around to see the steaming, full bath that smelled so inviting. He moaned a little, as his achy back started hurting just to motivate him to get in there faster.
Logan walked through the open bathroom door, a faint smile on his face. “I’m going to undo your top now.” He said gently. Roman’s hands were still too stiff to undo the complicated buttons and zippers on his princely outfit.
As he got naked, except for his boxers, Logan’s cool hands traced the sore and tense muscles of his back and shoulders.
“C’mere my prince.” Logan coaxed him to lay back in his arms, scooping him into his arms in a bridal style carry.
He gently lowered him down into the silky smooth rose scented bath water. With a snap of Logan’s fingers, the water was filled with actual rose petals.
“Logan, you are trying to romance me.” Roman mumbled. The wet petals clung to his skin, feeling oddly like fish swimming up against him as he leaned his head back and sunk lower into the bath.
“I am not. And besides, you are much too tired for any sort of romancing right now.” Logan said as Roman shut his eyes, soaking in the warmth of the water on his cold, aching body.
“This may hurt a bit.” Logan gently lifted Roman’s stiff hand and began to gently rub his wrist, feeling the joint click and grind with every movement.
It did hurt, enough to make Roman’s brow furrow and his lips to part in a pained whine. “Oh don’t whine, Roman. This’ll help loosen your wrists, and maybe you won’t be stuck in the braces for a week.”
Roman whined louder at that. He hated his braces with a passion. So not another peep of protest came from him as Logan diligently worked on his left wrist, then the right.
His mind drifted as his hands got massaged, and despite his best efforts to keep it away from his failures, it always seemed to come back to the work he could be doing.
“What are you thinking about?” Logan asked, noticing his patient tense up.
“I’m sorry.” The apology was always at the forefront of his thoughts. “I’m sorry I screwed up and made you do this for me, you should be doing your own work-“
“My work is to keep homeostasis. To keep Thomas regular. To keep his sides in balance. Because you, Creativity, are not functioning optimally, we are not in homeostasis. So, caring for you, right now, is my job.”
“Oh.” Of course Logan was only doing this because he had to, Roman should’ve never thought differently. It’s not like Logan would actually care about him-
“However, Roman, I would enthusiastically do this task whether it was related to my job or not. I am more than happy to lift you up when you are down. Because I am your friend.”
Friend? Roman couldn’t remember the last time anyone had said he was his friend.
A safe, deep comfort curled up in his heart and refused to leave, like a cat in front of a roaring fireplace. He felt safe, content, and relaxed here in the tub, with Logan, his friend, so ready to care for him.
Logan then hit a good spot on the middle of Roman’s palm and he moaned a little. He took his time working out the knot, massaging it deeply.
It felt really, really good, as he worked on his hands. Roman didn’t want to pull away.
Logan smiled as he finished loosening up the joints as best he could. He lowered each hand back into the water, before pressing three fingers to Roman’s forehead.
“Lay back, my prince. Rest.”
With a gentle push to his forehead, Roman slowly laid down until his ears were submerged.
He focused on the sensations. On the rose petals skimming by his bare skin. On the heat of the water, on the rich, sweet rose scent.
He breathed in deeply, trying his best to steer clear of what he could be doing, what he failed to do, and focus instead on Logan being so kind as to help him when he needed. Heroes always needed a sidekick.
Logan had always been his sidekick, the one keeping him and Thomas on track, the one regulating his ideas. The one making things happen.
He felt so safe, warm, he trusted Logan to take care of him. Logan always had everything under control. And this was no different.
“That’s it, Roman. Relax. I’m going to pour water over your head now, so I can wash your hair.”
Warm water rushed over his ears and eyes. He heard the click of a bottle opening before long, thin fingers ran through his hair. They scrubbed at his scalp with some fruity smelling shampoo, almost as a kind of massage. Another rush of water and Roman squeezed his eyes shut, blocking the soapy water from stinging his eyes.
“I don’t exactly know how to use this product, do I just spread it like gel?” Logan asked, holding up a bottle of conditioner.
It took Roman about ten seconds for his brain to wake up and process that. “Hold on, Logan, do you use two in one?! ”
“Yes.” He said simply. “So how do I-“
Roman sputtered his offended princey noises, filled with a kind of disgusted shock. “I can’t believe you!”
“It’s more efficient.”
“More efficient my ass, it’s gonna ruin your hair!” Somehow, the atrocity of two-in-one shampoo and conditioner overtook all the things he was previously worried about. “Anyway, you just squirt some on your hand and coat the hair, idiot. I can’t believe you.” He went back to his frustrated muttering as Logan followed his directions. “I have a new project, clearly, fixing that mess you call hair.”
Logan chuckled as he let the conditioner sit and began to wash Roman with a cherry red loofa. Meanwhile, the Prince was muttering about dyes and masks and a hundred other products Logan couldn’t be bothered to deal with.
He was glad he could provide a distraction as well as a more positive creative outlet. Creating was the easiest way to both cheer Roman up and knock him down.
“What do you say to a bit of a makeover, my star-spangled planner?” Roman asked, looking up at Logan while he washed his chest.
Logan didn’t want to. He really didn’t want to spend the rest of his day and possibly night, doing frivolous things like painting nails and permanent things like hair dye! But god, Roman looked up at him with eyes shinning for the first time today, a bright smile spitting his cracked lips, and Logan physically couldn’t say no. Not when Roman was finally able to focus on something that wasn’t his work.
“Okay.” Roman cheered and clapped his hands. “But not until you’re okay! And not until you’ve had a nap.”
Roman rolled his eyes, but at just the mention of a nap he yawned. Suddenly remembering his fatigue, he sunk down into the warm water again, shutting his eyes to enjoy the sensations of Logan scrubbing his legs, giggling a little when the loofa reached the sole of his foot.
Maybe he dozed off a little, because when he stumbled back into consciousness, water was running over his head to wash his hair of the conditioner.
He felt rejuvenated, clean. And now that he wasn’t distracted by the scent of his shower-desperate body, his could really smell his own breath.
He was so tired. Exhausted. Dead on his feet. He yawned again as Logan started to drain the bath, making Roman shiver as the heat left his body. A soft, heated towel wrapped around him, patting him dry before lifting him out of the bath and into Logan’s arms.
He curled up as best as he could, head nodding sleepily to bump against his chin. A strong pair of arms wrapped around his waist. Judging by his cushy seat, he was on Logan’s lap.
“I’ll try my best to apply your hair products.” Logan said softly. “My apologies if I mess something up.”
“Curler.” Roman mumbled, eyes still shut as he gestured to where he knew he kept his hair rollers. Due to the fact he wanted a princely wave, he only used a few to get the graceful curl of a Disney prince.
“Oh Newton, I hope I do this right.” Logan muttered under his breath as he applied oils and mousse into Roman’s hair.
He grabbed a larger hair roller and quickly googled instructions to roll the prince’s hair and secure it.
He looked rather silly with rollers in his hair, but Roman was too out of it to mind.
The towel fell off his shoulders as Logan squirted a couple pumps of lotion into his hands. Slowly, gently, he rubbed the lotion into Roman’s frankly kind of skinny frame. The muscles were strong and sturdy, but he could feel the small bumps of ribs under his tan skin. As he glided his hands over Roman’s shoulders, the knots and tension were hard enough to be felt through the skin. Instinctively, he began to massage his shoulders.
Roman’s mouth fell slack as Logan’s fingers pressed deep into his sore and tense muscles. He worked out every knot, and Roman let his shoulders slump forward, relieved of their aching. Logan’s hands moved down his body, focusing now on his back.
He jolted up. “Ow…” he mumbled. That spot was really tight. Logan went a little gentler, rubbing the lotion into the bottom of his back and over his chest and stomach.
Logan rubbed over his achy and tense lower back again, this time starting to massage the knots out.
Roman slumped down and relaxed, yawning as the soreness vanished. Logan applied lotion all down his legs, working out any knots he found on the way.
He must’ve dozed of at some point, but Logan’s massage just felt so good on his exhausted body.
He awoken to a chuckle from his seat. He blearily opened his eyes, meeting a round red grape dangling above his mouth.
There were braces locked around his wrists as well, keeping them stationary. He frowned at the feeling, but was concentrating more on the grape.
“Cmon Roman, eat up.” Logan said cheerfully.
He blinked, trying to get his brain back. He opened his mouth, smiling as the grape lowered down.
He chewed it slowly, barely processing the other grape venturing to his mouth.
Being fed was an interesting experience, given that he was too tired to even move his arms. The grapes were yummy, and just when he had his fill Logan started on some raspberries. Then banana pieces.
He didn’t know where Logan got the fruit but he didn’t mind his empty stomach getting filled with yummy berries. In between bites Logan gave him sips of water.
“Okay. There you go. We’ll forgo you brushing your teeth, instead I think a rinse with mouthwash will be much easier on you.”
Roman swished his mouth with both water and mouthwash, glad for the clean feeling.
“Come my prince. Now that you’ve been fed and watered, I can comfortably put you to sleep.”
He was lifted up into Logan’s solid arms, snapping his fingers to change him into new clean underwear, a pair of soft red pants and a light white tee shirt.
He was set down under his fluffy red comforter, the soft mattress cradling his relaxed form. Logan pulled up the cover and tucked him in, the sheets silky and soft on his smooth, moisturized legs.
Logan fished under the bed, looking for a something he vaguely remembered Roman loving as a child.
He pulled out a fluffy pink rabbit with long ears that had been chewed by the mouth of a small child. He tucked it into the gap between Roman and the blanket, smiling as the prince curled around the toy.
He kissed Roman on the forehead. “Goodnight, my prince.”
———
Roman woke up to soft light filtering through the window, catching on the dust specks floating through the air like fairy wings.
He felt the tenderness of sleep pulling him back under, but he wasn’t in a hurry to answer or resist the call.
“Good morning, Roman.” Logan said with a smile, closing the book he had been reading in Roman’s throne-like armchair.
“G’morning.” Roman yawned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
He noticed the brace on his wrist, frowning and almost going to remove it, but Logan pushed his hand away.
“Ready to finish that script?” Logan stood up and headed to Roman’s desk.
Roman’s breath caught in his throat. He completely forgot! He put them so behind and Logan had work today so no one would be able to help him and-
“Hey, Roman. It’s okay. I’m going to help you and remind you to take breaks, okay?” Logan gently put his hands on his shoulders. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let you write with your sore hands anyway.”
Roman nodded, swallowing tensely. He took a couple deep breaths and slipped out of bed, feet stinging on the cool floor.
“You get dressed, I’m going to get us something to eat. Coffee?” He asked.
“Yeah. With almond milk.” He muttered, stretching up, reaching his hands to the ceiling.
Logan nodded and left, leaving Roman alone.
He strolled over to his closet, catching his face in the mirror.
He laughed. Oh, Logan tried to do rollers. He tried, and he was so close!
Heading over to his vanity, he unclipped his hair from the rollers and grinned as the curls fell into his face. He fluffed them up a little, remembering his talk with Logan yesterday.
Not the part where he said he was a failure, no. The part where Logan agreed to a makeover.
His grin turned malicious as he searched for his face masks and skincare products. Logan must’ve forgotten, or he just didn’t want to so he was distracting Roman with the script.
He whirled into his closet. Yeah, there was no way he was gonna work on the script when he had a chance to give the Undefined-Terminator a much needed upgrade.
He selected a cute red skirt with a petticoat and a white button down with gold decals and his sash of course.
He left his makeup for later, given all the facial stuff he’s going to have to do with Logan.
“Okay, Patton insisted on pancakes, but I still brought fruit because y’know, diabetes-“ Logan rambled, pushing open the door as he carried pancakes, fruit bowl and two mugs off coffee with sugar and almond milk on a platter.
“Did you think I’d forget?” Roman said dramatically, spinning around in the vanity chair.
“Forget… oh god.” Logan put the platter down on the top of Roman’s dresser and sighed. “I hoped you won’t remember.”
“Well, I did, my crofty fellow. Which means no script writing today! No sir! You need a serious reboot, my Mac-Book Companion.”
Logan pressed a finger to his temple. “Okay. I can see there’s no getting out of this. How about we alternate, every line you write of the script in ten minutes is how many minutes you get to spend ‘making me over.’” He comprised, rolling his eyes and using air quotes on his last few words. He still knew in his heart that this was a fantastic way to make sure Roman didn’t get sucked down the trap of overworking again, but he still didn’t like it.
“Okay!” Roman rushed to his desk, pulling out his notebook and pen to start writing.
“Hold on.” Logan said, pushing his hand away from the paper. “Your hands are still stiff. I’ll write what you say.”
Roman’s eyes narrowed. “Now you’re not going to write slower to get out of becoming fabulous, are you?”
“Of course not Roman, I’m not one for deception. I’m not Janus.” Logan said simply, reviewing where Roman left off yesterday.
“Okay, but you’re not getting out of this. I will not stand two-in-one shampoo in this house!”
Logan chuckled and rolled his eyes. Why did he have to care about this pompous prince?