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Neil was carefully surveying the empty street, exy racket in hand; ready to spring into action at the smallest hint of movement. It was jarring how easily he’d fallen back into old patterns even after 5 years of staying in one place. At least he wasn’t running from the mafia this time. At least he still had his family. His heart gave a painful pang at the thought, reminding him that he didn’t have all of his family with him.
When the apocalypse happened Neil had been in Palmetto with some of the old Foxes. When the zombies started attacking Allison, Dan, Renee, Matt, Abby and Coach had been with him and they’d stuck together since. But the rest of family hadn’t made it to Palmetto yet at that point. They were all in New-York and would have taken the plane to South Carolina in only a few days. That was three days ago.
Now Neil, Renee and Matt were on a trip out of Foxe Tower for the first time, trying to reach Perimeter Road to find some supplies in the stores. They’d armed themselves as best they could with exy rackets to fight off the undead.
Neil saw a flash of movement in a car nearby and his heart rate jumped; his body suddenly pulsing with adrenaline. He signalled to the others and gingerly moved closer to the parked vehicle. When he peered inside, Neil immediately relaxed. Not a threat. Inside the car was a baby.
“Oh, no. How long has she been in here on her own for?” Renee said quietly, “We have to take her back with us until we can find her parents.”
“I doubt they’re still alive. What kind of parent leaves their kid alone in a car in the middle of a zombie apocalypse?” Neil replied grimly. He never thought he’d have to say something like that.
“Then we take her with us back to Foxe Tower. We can’t leave that baby here,” Matt added.
“How are we supposed to take care of a baby? It’s hard enough to take care of our small group,” Neil said. “But I guess you’re right.”
“We’ll pick up supplies in the store. We have to move though, cant’ stay in the open for too long,” Renee said.
Neil opened the car door and retrieved the baby and the bag bad of baby supplies that was on the other seat.
*****
When they got back to the tower they were immediately crowded by the Foxes.
“Did everything go well?”
“Did you get what we needed?”
“Uhm... What the fuck? Why is Neil carrying a baby?” Allison cut in. Everyone fell silent and turned to stare at Neil and the child in his arms.
“We found her abandoned in a car on our way to the stores. We couldn’t leave her to die out there.” Renee explained calmly.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Why do these things only ever happen to us?” Wymack said gruffly.
Abby took a few steps closer, “What’s her name?” she asked gently.
“Uh. I don’t know?” Neil said, dumbfounded. He hadn’t even thought about the name situation.
“Well, we’ll have to name her then,” Dan decided.
Immediately all of them Foxes started calling out names, some frankly ridiculous and Neil found himself a little overwhelmed. He wished Andrew were here. He was always the eye of the storm that Neil gravitated to when everything else was too much. Now Neil felt unmoored without the only thing that kept him grounded. He tried not to think about Andrew most of the time; at the beginning of the year it was because Andrew lived in New-York with his new pro team and in the three previous it was because he didn’t want to let his mind come up with what Andrew could be doing right now. He did not want to think Andrew might be dead. He wouldn’t let himself fall down that rabbit hole. This gave him an idea though.
“Andrea. Her name is Andrea,” Neil cut off his friends’ naming contest. They all went silent and looked at him sadly. That was pity in their eyes Neil thought.
“That’s a beautiful name Neil,” Renee said softly and there was only understanding in her voice.
*****
When the apocalypse happened, Andrew was in his apartment in New-York, having dinner with Nicky and Erik, both of whom had just flown in from Germany. Aaron and Katelyn, as well as Bee were there too, as well as Robin who lived with her parents only a few blocks away.
Andrew had to admit that had been very convenient timing. Not ideal though, not ideal at all. Neil hadn’t been there. In fact, Andrew hadn’t seen Neil in months.
Some days, Andrew regretted ever meeting Neil. The void that had replaced his quiet presence left Andrew empty and he hated it even more than he hated having become this dependent on Neil.
Andrew tried not to think about him, he really tried. He succeeded most days because he was busy enough protecting his family and fighting off zombies but on quiet nights, Andrew found himself unable to sleep. He would stare at the ceiling in the dark room and his mind would inevitably stray to Neil and his sharp words.
His nights were plagued with nightmares, as they had always been but now images of Neil dead, Neil dying, Neil undead replaced old fears. Those weren’t his only nightmares but they were those that left Andrew with a bitter taste on his tongue hours after waking. Good memories twisted beyond recognition into something gruesome.
The plan was to stay in New-York for as long as possible. Andrew’s apartment was high enough it was easy to defend and the big city meant plenty of resources. Besides it was safer to stay in one place and hold the fort.
But as the months went by finding food and supplies became more and more difficult, and they were forced to wander out of the building for longer periods of time to acquire what they needed.
After a year they were forced to move and decided to leave New-York City entirely since it was crawling with so many zombies. While travelling, though, the undead were not the most dangerous beings. Humans were, although that came as a surprise to none of them – except maybe Katelyn and Erik who had lived a more sheltered life.
They never really settled anywhere for long after that. The seven of them drifted around aimlessly, like clouds carried by the wind.
*****
The Foxes were forced out of Palmetto eventually for lack of resources. They had been expecting it of course but it didn’t make it any easier. Neil in particular was reluctant to go. Palmetto had become his home after being on the run for most of his life and now he was untethered again.
That was not his only reason he didn’t want to go though, after all Palmetto was only his home because that was where the Foxes were and he would have already left at this point without the apocalypse happening and disrupting all their lives.
He had Andrea to take care of now and he was well aware of how traumatizing it could be for a child to be uprooted like this. And of course, Andrew. This was the last place Andrew had known him to be and if he ever decided to come looking for him he’d have no way to find him. Not that that was a likely possibility of course. But it still haunted Neil as they walked away and Palmetto disappeared from view.
It was three years after the apocalypse when the Foxes found a place worth settling in for the long term. They found an abandoned farm that was still in a rather good state and they made a home for themselves there. Learning how to grow crops took some figuring out but there wasn’t that much of them so they were able to figure it out. What they couldn’t make they stole, scavenged or traded with other survivors.
Five years after they first set foot in the farm, the Foxhole Freehold had become a staple in the new world. A safe haven for peaceful survivors to settle and live, and a place to trade or simply pass through. They had made it a neutral zone that didn’t partake in territory wars of any kind and they were respected for it. They’d had to defend it several times in the past but they’d always come out on top.
Their community had grown rather large in all that time. They were lucky enough to reconnect with some old friends from their college years – Jean Moreau and Jeremy Knox had been among the first to join them; Laila Dermott and Alvarez had followed a year later. They’d also met plenty of new people and some of them had chosen to stay.
Andrea had grown up to be surprisingly mentally stable and happy in the care of the Foxes but it was Neil she considered her ‘father’. Neil found himself being almost happy some days but he could never completely forget the gnawing black hole that had taken residence in his chest.
*****
It was ten years after the apocalypse when Andrew and his family made it to the Foxhole Freehold. He had never trusted these kinds of places, strewn out across the continent but Katelyn had –stupidly, in Andrew’s opinion – gotten pregnant and they couldn’t very well trek across America with a pregnant woman. They could have chosen any other neutral zone to settle in until the birth – it would probably be longer than that but Andrew could hope. They chose the Foxhole because it reminded them of the last home they’d all shared.
There was an air of peace and happiness about the place that Andrew was immediately wary off. It probably had to do with the 10 year old girl who greeted them at the door with a cheerful welcome.
“Welcome to the Foxhole! I’m Andrea Josten. Follow me, I’ll show you to the main house,” she said and Andrew’s heart missed a bit. Stop it he chastised himself, there are a thousand people with that name. Well, probably less now but whatever. The name of the place and that of the little girl were just a cruel coincidence.
*****
Neil was in the main house, discussing organization with Dan and Wymack when Andrea barged in, announcing a group of new arrivals.
He barely glanced toward the door, leaving this part to the others. Neil’s never been great with people. It was the shocked gasps that exploded around the room that attracted his attention.
At first he didn’t understand what the big deal was. These strangers didn’t seem particularly interesting but then he spotted a short blond man with hazel eyes. Two of them in fact.
Everything stilled.
Neil was moving before he even realized what he was doing. He stopped in front of Andrew. There were a million things he wanted to say but none of them would get past his lips.
They locked eyes for what felt like eternity, neither of them saying anything – Neil wasn’t even sure he was breathing – until Andrew broke the silence.
“Yes or no, Neil?”
Neil’s heart broke and filled with warmth again at hearing the too familiar words. “Yes,” he choked out.
And then they were kissing and the black hole in Neil’s chest finally mended itself.