Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

From the moment he first saw her, Zuko knew that he loved his little sister.

He met her when he was two, when she was just a newborn; a tiny baby with the same golden eyes as Zuko and a tuft of jet black hair, curled up in Ursa’s arms. She had finally calmed down, and was now sleeping soundly. Zuko has always wanted a little sibling and he was jumping around in excitement, somehow managing not to wake the sleeping child in his elation. His new little sister; Azula.

***

Zuko hid behind the tree in the family’s garden, stifling laughter as he spotted Azula in his peripheral vision, searching for him in a bush nearby. Azula was only four, and instead of walking, her movement was more close to toddling, and it made Zuko laugh. He mistakenly let out a snort of laughter, and Azula’s head snapped up towards where Zuko was standing. She ran over and pointed straight at him.

“Found you!” she giggled. Zuko sighed and stepped out from behind the tree.

“Oh no! It’s your turn now, Azu. Go hide. I’ll count.” he said. Azula nodded, still grinning, and started to walk away. Zuko made to turn away to count, but just before he did so, he saw out of the corner of his eye Azula heading straight for the pond. He twisted himself around and reached out his arm on reflex.

“Watch out, Azu!” he yelled, and his breath caught in his throat as he saw a burst of golden flames spurt from his hand. Azula spun around and almost fell into the pond in shock. She stumbled and held her hands out in front of her, and similar flames sprung out of her hand, pushing herself back up. She squealed, and Zuko ran over to her sister to catch her. He could fire bend. She could firebend. Zuko had to hide his frustration. Azula was two years younger than him, and they had learned that they could firebend at the same time. Azula had always been so good at everything. She learned to walk when she was ten months and learned to talk when she was 8 months. She was perfect. Zuko guessed that it only made sense that she would learn to firebend at the same time as him.

“Fire.” Azula said. Zuko gave her a slightly strained smile.

“Yeah. Fire.” he said, but his voice sounded a little downtrodden. “Well done, Azu.”

“Are you sad?” she asked. Zuko flitted his eye contact away from Azula’s big, amber eyes, towards his feet. “Don’t worry. You’re good at your weapons training with Master Piando. I’m not. I’m not even allowed to use knives yet. Mother and Father won’t let me. Don’t be sad, Zuzu.”

***

Zuko watched as his sister left the room from behind the wall. He didn’t trust that Azula’s injuries were all from training; Azula was already a skilled firebender, even though she was only 6, and it only made logical sense that she’d be able to protect herself better from attacks. Zuko glared at his sister as he noticed a bruise blossoming over her temple. He grabbed her wrist and pulled himself down so that he and her made eye contact.

“Where’s this from?” he asked, pointing at the bruise. She looked down.

“Nowhere.” This was clearly just what their father had told her to say. Azula couldn’t lie; Zuko knew that and it was pretty clear when she wasn’t telling the truth.

“Azu…”

“He said I deserve it! I deserve it when he hits me, don’t I? I didn’t do the kata properly.” she said. Zuko noticed that Azula’s eyes were shining with a film of tears that were beginning to spill, and he brought a hand up to her cheek to wipe them away.

“No! Of course you didn’t, Azu. You’d never deserve this. You’re perfect!”
Zuko knew that although he couldn’t prevent the burns and bruises that often marred Azula’s pale skin, he could at least prevent her from blaming herself.

***

Azula didn’t mean to smash the vase. She had been running after Ty Lee, who was running away from Mai and when she bumped into the table, the vase had fallen to the wooden floor. As soon as the smash sounded, Zuko skidded around the corner.

“Dad’s coming, Azu!” he warned. He jogged towards the mess on the floor, and stood in front of it, trying to hide it from view. Ozai was quickly there at the scene, looking slightly suspicious.

“What was the sound?” he asked, his voice clipped and frustrated.

“It was nothing father,” Zuko lied. Ozai narrowed his eyes and pushed Zuko aside roughly. His eyes fixed on the shattered glass scattered over the floor and he scowled.

“Who did this?” he snapped. Azula bit her lip.

“Father, I-”

“I did. I’m sorry, father. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I hit it.” Zuko interjected. Azula raised her eyebrows and Zuko jumped nervously from foot to foot. Ozai growled and grabbed his son’s hand in a vice-like grip, dragging him into the hallway.

“Zuko, you must pay attention. This is a warning. Next time, the consequences will be much worse.” Ozai scolded. He raised his fist and it collided with his son’s left temple. Zuko’s head snapped to the side and he instinctively clapped a hand over the injury. “Now go.”

Zuko’s door creaked open and he folded the pillow over his face as Azula stepped in. The girl tip-toed towards Zuko’s bed and sat on the edge. Zuko sleepily sat up.

“What is it?” he asked grouchily.

“Sorry. I smashed the vase.”

“I know you did, Azu.” Zuko sighed.

“Then why did you say that you did!” she squeaked.

“I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

Azula looked thoughtful for a second, before smiling slightly, “Thank you, Zuko.”

***

Zuko watched Azula fight and...wow. She was quick and agile, and swiftly and effortlessly dodged the attacks like lightning. Zuko watched her in awe as his sister fought, and soon, she had finished the fight, and came running towards Zuko who was sitting on a bench by the side of the room.

“That was great!” Zuko exclaimed. He did truly mean it, but he was a little jealous that Azula was so much better than him even though she was two years younger.

“Thank you, Zuzu. Even father says I’m good. That’s good, right?”

“Yeah!” Zuko said. His smile faded as he saw Ozai walking towards him, his arms crossed.

“You are correct, Zuko. Azula is very good. Very good. How much older are you than her, Zuko?” Ozai said icily. Zuko looked at his feet.

“2 years, father.” he murmured..

“Don’t mumble! And look at me when I’m speaking. Zuko, you should be better. You’ve been training for the same amount of time, and yet your younger sibling could easily beat you in an agni kai. You need to work harder, train more.”

“Please, father…” Zuko immediately realised that he had messed up when his father’s icy stair turned into one of anger.

“Did you just talk back to me, Zuko?”

“Yes, father. I’m sorry.” Zuko said. Suddenly, a stinging pain burst through his cheek, and he glanced upwards and saw his father, who was lowering his hand from the slap. He felt a hand on his shoulder suddenly.

“Father, I’m very sorry, but it’s not Zuko’s fault that he is not as good at firebending. He could still defend himself in a fight, and he’s amazing with weapons. It’s not fair that he should be punished.” came Azula’s voice. Zuko held in a smile of gratitude and adoration for his little sister and waited for his father’s retort.

His smile abruptly vanished, however as soon as he heard the dull smacking sound of Ozai punching his daughter in the face twice. Azula fell to the ground with the force and stared up at her father with wide eyes, blood trickling from her split lip and a bruise starting to swell around her eye.

“I expected better from you, Azula. Come with me.” Ozai strode off with little Azula being dragged behind him.

Late that night, Azula looked up groggily as her bedroom door cracked open and Zuko slipped through the opening.

“Zuzu?” she croaked out.

“Hey, Azu,” he said gently, a pang of sympathy ripping through him as he looked down at her black eye and scabby lip, both still swollen, “Thank you for earlier. I’m sorry you got hurt because of me.”

“Don’t be silly, dum-dum,” she replied, her voice too sleep-filled to have any real bite to it. “We protect each other. Always.”

***

Chapter Text

Sometimes Azula acted more like her father than Zuko thought was best.

Once a servant was brushing her hair and happened across a tangle that pulled on the girl’s scalp, sending a small shooting pain through her head. In retaliation, Azula gave the servant a small burn - not enough to leave a mark but enough to sting.

Ursa had seen this and sent Azula to her room for the rest of the day without listening to any of the confused protestations that flooded out of Azula's Mouth.
Zuko, also having seen the interaction, followed Azula and slipped into her room when his mother had marched out of sight.

He saw Azula curled up on the bed and went to sit next to her. “Why did you burn her, Azula?” he asked reproachfully.

“Father said to punish people if they can’t be trusted or hurt you,” she mumbled sulkily.

“Do you like it when father burns you, or even me?”

“No…”

“So how do you think Ichika felt when you burnt her?”

“She didn’t like it…”

“Remember, Az: always treat others how you want to be treated. Why don’t you go and apologise to Ichika now?”
Azula, very shame-faced, apologised to Ichika who took it with surprising good grace.

Ursa didn’t see.

***

Azula skidded along the floor into the living room, where she spotted her mother sitting, painting a picture of something Azula couldn’t see. Azula plonked herself down onto the chair next to Ursa and looked up at her mother.

“Mother..?” she began. Ursa sighed and looked at her daughter.

“What is it?” she said, trying to sound sweet but failing.

“Ty Lee’s upset.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. But she’s upset with me, I think, and I don’t like it.” Azula said.

“How do you know she’s upset with you?” Ursa asked, and Azula shifted slightly in her seat.

“Because she yelled ‘I don’t like you, Azula!’ and then ran away.” she said. Ursa pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

“What did you do?”

“I don’t know! We were playing with Zuko’s toy soldiers and I wouldn’t give Captain Lu Ten, which is what Zuko called him, which I quite like…”

“Azula…”

“Right, yes, sorry. I wouldn’t give Captain Lu Ten to Ty Lee because I was playing with him and Ty Lee got all upset. Did I do something wrong?”

“Yes Azula. You’re meant to share with your friends. Now go and apologise to Ty Lee and share this time.” Ursa sighed. Azula nodded enthusiastically and ran out of the room, but she wasn’t out of earshot of her mother and she heard Ursa say, “What is wrong with that child.” Azula’s smile quickly vanished and was replaced with an expression of hurt as she slowed her walk to an unhappy trudge.

Zuko heard it too. He heard their mother huff as she sat back down, muttering to herself. “What’s wrong with that child?” she had said. Zuko grit his teeth. Azula’s perfect. he thought to himself. There’s nothing wrong with her. He felt the warm glow of the fire that burst from his clenched fists and he punched the wall next to him, leaving a hole the shape and size of his fist. But he was too angry to care as he ran after the crying Azula.

“Hey, Azu! Azula! Wait.” he said, grabbing his little sister by the hand and turning her around to look at him.

“What’s wrong with me? She asked and I didn’t hear anyone answer.” she sniffed. Zuko bent down so that he was eye to eye with Azula.

“Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re perfect, remember?” he said. Azula smiled through the tears that made her eyes fuzzy. “I’m gonna take you to Uncle Iroh, okay?”

“You must not tease Ty Lee. It’s sometimes not funny, Azula. There are good times to tease her and bad times. In order to avoid hurting her, you must never do it.” Iroh said. Azula looked confused, and Zuko, annoyed.

“But I wasn’t teasing her. It wasn’t supposed to be funny-” Azula started to protest. All she was trying to do was understand why Ty Lee was angry at her but no one would help her.

“Hey Azula? I don’t think this was as helpful as I thought it would be. Why don’t you go and make up with Ty Lee. Maybe ask her what you did wrong so you can try and fix it? I’ll be with you in a second.” Zuko suggested. Azula nodded and ran off, leaving just Zuko and Iroh together. “She really didn’t understand what she did wrong, you know. You could have at least just been a little more sensitive.”

***

Azula couldn’t work out for the life of her what Ursa was saying. To her, it sounded like a bunch of gibberish but, as always, she was expected to work out what people meant magically. This time Ursa had uttered something about not being able to make tamagoyaki without breaking a few racoon crow eggs - they weren’t even talking about cooking at the time and Azula was so confused.

She went to Zuko first, of course, but that conversation wasn’t very helpful either:

“What does ‘not being able to make tamagoyaki without breaking a few racoon crow eggs’ mean, Zuzu?”

“Err… well… it means that sometimes you can’t do stuff while keeping the other stuff you want to keep,” he stumbled his way through an explanation that was clear to absolutely no-one.

“What? What does that have to do with eggs and tamagoyaki?” she demanded.

“You know what, Azu, I think we need someone else to explain it,” he said, giving up.

They decided that after the last two conversations that she had with Ursa and Iroh and the fact that any attempt to ask their father a question would result in getting a burn, that they had better try and find their cousin Lu Ten.

After traipsing around the castle for a while, they found Lu Ten hunched over some books detailing military strategy in the library. Noticing their approach, he turned around to look at them, “Hey! My favourite cousins! What can I do for you?”

“We’re your only cousins, silly,” Zuko said, with a small giggle.

“You got me there but even if I did have more, you’d still be my favourites. Now, what’s the matter?” he asked, seeing the puzzled expression on Azula’s face.

“I tried to ask Zuko a question but he’s useless.”

Lu Ten stifled a chuckle at his 6 year old cousin’s serious look on her face and Zuko’s indignant one. He always felt sorry for them because who would want to have a father like Ozai. Zuko seemed especially hated by Lu Ten’s uncle while Ozai only loved Azula’s skill, not her. Ursa tried her best to be a good parent but failed when it came to Azula. Azula was a little odd, yes, but she could at least make an effort to understand her youngest child before she was dragged too far into her father’s clutches. That’s what Lu Ten thought anyway.

“Well, what’s the question, little spitfire?”

“What does ‘not being able to make tamagoyaki without breaking a few racoon crow eggs’ mean?”

Lu Ten thought for a moment, trying to explain it so that she would understand, “Well it's a phrase that tries to metaphorically explain something so it's easier to understand. A metaphor is when you compare two things without using ‘like’ or ‘as’ so it's not literal, it's figurative.” Azula seemed to understand better but not entirely so he pushed on. “So in this case, the tamagoyaki is the result you are aiming for and the broken eggs are anything else that is damaged when trying to achieve the result. Does that make sense?”

Azula nodded, “I get it now but why do people say things they don’t really mean?”

“Well a lot of people’s brains understand better when the words are put into a scenario they understand but that isn’t always the case and it's also normal not to understand. Are you okay now, spitfire?”

“Yes, thank you Lu Ten!”

***

Chapter Text

The light slid through the door as it creaked open and Zuko sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“What is it Azu?” he asked, as he saw the small figure of his sister standing in the doorway, looking at her feet. “What is it?” The girl was staring at her toes, digging her nails into her arms, pinpricks of blood springing up as she dug them in harder and harder. Zuko leapt out of his bed and tried to pull Azula’s hands away from her.

“No, stop that. What’s up?” But Azula just stood there, looking forlorn and stressed, but not making a sound. “Azula?” Azula wrestled her arms away from Zuko, before walking away. Zuko stood up from his crouch and followed the girl into her room, where Azula curled up by the wall, hugging her knees. Zuko heard talking from his parent’s room, and mirrored Azula’s position on the floor, pressing his ear up against the wall.

“You’re trying to turn her into a monster! She’s mean to the servants, her friends, even Zuko. This is your doing, Ozai!” came Ursa’s slightly muffled voice. Zuko winced.

“She could be useful. Do you want us to win or lose? She could be our weapon!” Ozai hissed.

“You don’t even love her!”

“It’s not like you love her much more, is it? Zuko's always been your favourite, even before Azula first firebended.” And Zuko saw the exact moment Azula broke as she folded in on herself, falling into a wave of silent tears and sobs, and he hugged her close, feeling Azula’s shoulders shaking with cries of complete heartbreak. Azula gripped onto Zuko’s back, digging her fingernails in, and Zuko was sure that she almost drew blood, but neither cared. Zuko already knew that Ozai didn’t love him, but hearing both their parents blatantly state that they didn’t love Azula made him want to burn down their entire house. Azula buried her head into Zuko’s shoulder and Zuko felt his eyes stinging with tears at seeing his sister like this.

“You’re perfect, Azula. Perfect.” Zuko said quietly in Azula’s ear. And Azula squeezed tighter, because he was all she had now. And Zuko would make sure that he’d stay with her until the world ended.

***

Dear Azula,

How are you, little spitfire?
I know you’ll want all the gory battle and strategy details but to be honest, nothing’s really happened yet. During a siege, it’s mostly just training and waiting so I’m sorry to disappoint.
Dad has been working all day and night but no challenge is too tough for the Dragon of the West. Or at least we hope no challenge is too big or grandfather won’t be very happy.
Now, you must tell me about your training because last I heard, you had completed the Rising Phoenix kata which is very impressive. I'm so proud of you and you should hear that more often.
Please be very brave and responsible for me and keep an eye on Zuko and his bending and help him where you can. I know his talents lie in other places - he’s fantastic at those dual blades of his - but your father can be unforgiving and dismissive of disciplines unrelated to fire.
Love from your big cousin,
Lu Ten

***

Dear Zuko,
I hope you are well my brave swordsman.
I know you don’t like talking about the war so all I’m going to say about it is that it’s far more boring than I’d expected and that I’m fine so there’s no need to fret. Yes, I know you worry about me - I’m psychic like that. (Only joking. Azula told me in her last letter.) But seriously, I’m fine. Dad’s keeping me safe so this war can end sooner.
How is your dual dao sword training? You’ll be able to rival the Blue Spirit one day, I bet with all the practising you do. You are very talented, you know. Remember, your father’s approval doesn’t mean everything and your mother and sister are very proud of you.
Could I ask you to look out for Azula? We’ve both seen the burns from her training and I worry uncle overworks her. She needs all the people she can get in her corner now that I’m gone and I know you can be a responsible big brother to her.
Love from your big cousin,
Lu Ten

***

Iroh had sent them gifts. Each was wrapped in brown paper, tied up with string, and both Zuko and Azula ripped open the packages ecstatically, tearing through the layers of paper to the presents underneath. Zuko was presented with a knife. 3 different blades, the handle garnet red, an engraving of a dragon, curling through the air, a blast of fire from its mouth. Azula was given a doll. A scrappy thing; it looked second hand, with dirt caking the face like makeup. Azula looked from her gift to Zuko’s in frustration.

“This isn’t fair. How come you got the good present and I got the bad one?” she squeaked. Zuko looked up. He knew that Azula shouldn’t talk about Iroh’s gift like that, but when he saw the tacky doll, he noticed the clear favouritism.

“Azu, you shouldn’t say that. But I get your point. You can share my knife, if you want.” Zuko suggests. It was then that he realised that the doll’s face had melted from the flame being aimed at its face by Azula. Azula dropped the doll at Zuko’s words and gave Zuko her lopsided smile.

“Thank you, Zuzu.”

***

2 years after Lu Ten was shipped out to Ba Sing Se like a lamb to slaughter, a letter arrived at the palace: Lu Ten was dead; Iroh had given up; Ba Sing Se remained in Earth Kingdom hands. Everything had changed.

Azula was summoned to Ozai’s chambers early on the morning that the letter arrived and she felt the same icy spear of fear dig into her heart that she always did when in her father’s presence.

“Your cousin died this morning. My fat and lazy brother has given up and abandoned Ba Sing Se. He’s a coward and a failure. His son wasn’t even that important in the military campaign. I hope you can learn from his mistakes. It's my plan to take on the role of crown prince now that your uncle is left without an heir. In preparation for this, I need my bloodline to be as strong as possible. From now on, you shall receive an extra 2 hours training a day. That is all - you are dismissed.”

Azula just felt empty. She had no idea how to react - there was just an aching hollow gap where the big cousin who had always played with her, who had always been kind to her and who had always called her ‘his little spitfire’, should have been. And Lu Ten wasn’t coming back.

She wandered aimlessly around until she stumbled upon Ursa who was also giving Zuko the news. Zuko immediately burst into tears and embraced Ursa in a tight hug, sobbing out all of his grief. Azula watched without emotion, disassociated from her feelings.

Ursa turned to her and repeated the news. Azula could only watch herself parrot Ozai’s harsh words. She didn’t really know what she was saying - her thoughts were jumbled and too messy to have any clear direction.

“It’s a shame. Uncle has given up Ba Sing Se because he lost his son. He’s a coward. Lu Ten wasn’t even that important.”

“Azula! Don’t say things like that! That’s horrible!” Zuko had exclaimed.

“Azula! You horrible child! Honestly, what’s wrong with you? Go to your room for the rest of the day. Now!"

Azula trudged down the corridor without protest, her mind still too blank. It wasn’t until she reached her room that everything hit her.

Big cousin Lu Ten was dead and she would never see him again. Sobs wracked her small body as she curled up into a small ball on her mattress.

Why did she have to say those dreadful words? She didn’t mean that at all - she adored her cousin. What was wrong with her?

Two days later, Zuko was staring at Azula's door, debating whether to knock or not. He was devastated by his cousin’s death and was definitely still angry at her for saying those horrible things about Lu Ten and uncle but he couldn’t believe that she actually thought those things: his little sister had adored Lu Ten and although she didn’t really get along with uncle, she respected him enough not to call him a coward.

Over the past few days he had only seen Azula at family dinner - the rest of the time she either spent bending with Ozai’s new ridiculous training program or holed up in her room. Over family dinner she had seemed distant and quiet but that wasn’t unusual due to the fact that any time spent with Ozai had a tense atmosphere. There definitely was something wrong though and Zuko thought that she was just as torn up over their cousin’s death as he was. It only made him wonder what had made her spit out those insults in front of him and their mother.

Finally he decided and gave the door a sharp rap. He heard shuffling inside the room but no one opened up.

“I can hear you, Az. Come on, open up,” he shouted. He heard a resigned grunt and a few seconds later, the door opened.

Azula was already turned away from him, heading to the back of the room and jumping onto the window sill where she curled up into the foetal position. Zuko entered the room and caught a glimpse at his little sister’s face for the first time that day. She looked pale - almost like a ghost - and dark rings drooped below her eyes.
“Hey Azu,” he said gently, sitting on the bed after closing the door behind him. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on with you at the moment? I know you didn’t mean those things you said about Lu Ten and uncle.”

There was a silence and Zuko could see Azula’s internal struggle play out on her face as she fought to verbalise her thoughts.

“Father… father told me earlier that morning. He said that stuff, I didn’t think it. I just… I just didn’t know how I felt. He… he’s not coming back. He’s gone forever.”

Zuko felt tears prick at his eyes, “I know, Azu, I know.” And then the flood barriers opened and tears poured down his face like a waterfall. The only thing he could feel was Azula’s small hands gripping the back of his shirt in an effort to comfort him. His heart warmed slightly.

***

Chapter Text

A few days after the news about Lu Ten’s death, Zuko, Azula, Ursa and Ozai went to see Firelord Azulon in the throne room, red fire obscuring him from a clear view. Azula presented her katas effortlessly, earning a nod of approval from her grandfather, a small, tight-lipped smile from her mother, no reaction from her father (‘Of course,’ she thought bitterly) and a small, discreet thumbs up from Zuko. She smiled at her brother.

After the presentation, the children and Ursa were sent away while Ozai and Azulon had a meeting. Azula dragged Zuko behind a tapestry, ignoring her brother’s indignant squawk of surprise.

“Hey Azu, what are you doing?”

“Watching.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause I want to.”

Zuko just sighed like any older brother would when faced with an irritating younger sibling. They turned their attention onto the scene that was playing out before them.

“Iroh is now without an heir. My bloodline is strong. I deserve to be crown prince.”

Azula winced at her father’s words. Didn’t he know the meaning of tact? This was going to end badly...

“What you ask is a great disrespect to me and a great disrespect to your brother. For this crime, you will know the pain of losing your eldest son. You must kill Prince Zuko.”

The siblings looked at each other with terror. Azula took action first, dragging Zuko, who still looked shell-shocked, down the corridor and into her room. By then, Zuko was hyperventilating, a stricken look present in his eyes. Azula pushed him gently down on the shoulders to get him to sit on the bed.

“Hey Zu. Look at me. Everything’s going to be fine. I promise I won't let anything happen to you. Ever. Okay? Just trust me.” Zuko nodded, his breathing had evened out but was still somewhat frantic. “Just stay in here and I’ll go and fetch mother. I’ll be back in a minute. I promise.”

Azula sprinted down the hallway, trying with all her might not to panic so that she could keep Zuko safe.

She sprinted all the way to Ursa’s chambers and burst in, not bothering to knock. Ursa turned around in surprise from her position in her armchair where she was reading a book.

“Azula! What’s the meaning of this!” Ursa cried out, too annoyed at the sudden interruption to notice the panic tugging on her daughter’s features.

“It’s Father. He’s going to kill Zuko. Please help,” Azula said rapidly, breathless from exertion.

“What on earth are you on about?”

Azula narrated the events of the throne room to Ursa, who seemed shocked by the fact that her husband would kill one of their children. Azula didn’t have time for her mother’s relationship issues, however, so she tugged on Ursa’s sleeve, pulling her all the way down the corridor to her own room.
Azula tugged the door open and held it open for her mother to pass through before slipping in and shutting the door behind herself. Ursa immediately ran to comfort Zuko.

“Don’t worry, Zuko. I’ll sort it. Stay in your sister’s room tonight. It’ll be sorted by tomorrow. I promise.”

That night the two fire siblings went to sleep with a pit of dread carving out their stomach. In the morning they awoke to the news that Firelord Azulon was dead, their mother was gone and their father was the new Firelord. In less than a day, everything had changed.

***

The day after everything changed, Azula and Zuko were in their mother’s chambers, exploring and finding clues to the possible whereabouts of Ursa.
Azula stumbled upon a secret drawer where there was a letter addressed to Zuko to say goodbye.

There wasn’t one for Azula.

Later that day in training, Azula’s bright yellow flames melted into white, then blue. They blazed brilliantly in Azula's small hands.

Nobody commented on the transformation.

***

Chapter Text

Azula had been going for Ozai’s war meetings for a while now. She had only just turned 11, but she was better at it than Zuko would be. Zuko understood that he could get a little hot headed at times and Azula said that he was too good of a person to not snap at those prejudiced old war generals. So he didn’t mind being left out of the meetings, even though he was two years older than his sister. But Iroh thought that it wasn’t fair and decided to bring him into one to ‘give him a taste of politics’.
So now, here he was, sitting in the war meeting, feeling like he was about to blow up. One of the general’s had just suggested that the 41st division should be sacrificed in order to defeat an earth bending division.

“This is bullshit! It’s immoral to sacrifice that many soldiers for such an insignificant cause. That’s a stupid plan!” Zuko interjected angrily. Ozai turned towards him with a fiery glare and Zuko shrunk back, feeling like a kid again even though he was a teenager now at 13 years old.

“Zuko, never, EVER interrupt again! Apologise to the general. NOW!” Ozai bellowed. Zuko crossed his arms in a stupid gesture of courage and audacity. “If you don’t apologise, you have to fight. Agni Kai. Understood?”

“Fine then. As long as it means that we won’t go killing thousands of men, I’m in.”

Zuko realised that that was a stupid thing to do, as Azula patted him on the shoulder. “Good Luck, Zuko. Please, be careful.” she said. Zuko gave her a shaky but reassuring nod. He wasn’t as skilled at firebending as Azula, but he was still more than competent, and he was sure he’d be able to defeat the much older general. He stepped up and waited for what felt like an eternity, on his knees, until it was finally time to stand up and turn around. And he was faced with his father.

“Wait, wha-”

“1, 2, 3 fight!” announced one of the fire sages, and Zuko didn’t have time to think about how he was fighting the firelord, before his opponent began throwing attacks. He dodged them easily enough, and shot back a few of his own strikes, but then, everything went sideways. Ozai punched out in front of him, and a lightning fast blaze of fire blasted out of his hand, shooting straight for Zuko’s left eye. He didn’t have time to dodge. In an instant, burning, white hot pain split through the left side of his face and he fell to his knees, crying out in pain. His vision spotted, then vanished, and his head was swimming as he finally lost consciousness, falling fully to the floor with a sickening thud.

Azula felt sick. Her brain was full of random words and noises and light-light like the fire that had just hit Zuko. Too much LIGHT. She wasn’t even thinking as she felt her legs carry her up towards her father, wasn’t even thinking as she clenched her fists by her sides and glared at Ozai, her eyes glinting with rage and pain and hurt.
“You don’t deserve to be firelord. You don’t deserve to be in charge of anything when you can’t even handle being in charge of your own children! You have no honour!” Azula felt herself say, though it wasn’t like she was even saying it. She spun around, sending a powerful wave of blue fire skimming towards Ozai and her father stepped back in shock. And then, they started to fight.

Azula was smaller and lighter, and she could move in and out of the gleams of fire with ease, sending her own attacks Ozai’s way with as many different techniques as she could recollect. The flames were an extension of her own body and now she had turned them against her father. The firelord. The most powerful man on the planet.

Oh shit.

A wave of murmurs rippled through the crowd as it was becoming apparent that the Firelord was struggling to defeat an 11 year old girl. Ozai was starting to get tired, the length of the fight slowing him down, and eventually, he couldn’t keep up anymore. His hair was matted with sweat and he lacked his usual dignity as he flailed helplessly, sending miserable bolts of fire towards Azula, which all missed by a long shot. And in a desperate attempt to win the agni kai, Ozia struck out. A blade of lightning was released from his fingers and Azula’s eyes widened in shock as she instinctively held out her arms to block the attack she could not escape from. The lightning hit her chest and she fell to the ground, seizing as the electricity crackled through her body. She was out cold before she hit the floor.

***

The first thing Zuko noticed was pain. There was a gentle ache everywhere, but the agony that his left eye was in was blinding. Blinding. Huh. Through his right eye, he could see the room he was in, and the empty, wooden room that was swaying slightly. Through his left, he could see nothing. Not black, not darkness. He could see nothing. He reached up and touched the bandages covering that side of his face. Huh. He couldn’t hear out of his left ear either. The combination of blindness and deafness on one side of his body was disorientating but he was alive. Holy crap, he was alive. Then, he remembered what had happened, and he sat bolt upright. The last thing he could remember was Azula throwing fire at Ozai.

“Azula.” he hissed. He stood up shakily and grabbed the door handle pushing it open. He was on a boat, he realised. Where he was going in the boat was still a mystery. He looked around and saw Iroh, sitting next to his door. “Where’s Azula? Please, is she okay? Is she here? Where is she? Is she alive? Is she okay? Is she okay?” As the questions went on, Zuko’s voice became more and more frantic, almost unintelligible through tears as he repeated his questions over and over again. Iroh stood up and put his hands on Zuko’s shoulders.

“Zuko, Zuko, calm down. Azula will....hopefully be fine. She’s still unconscious but how are you, my nephew?”

“Please just take me to Azula,” Zuko begged. Iroh nodded and began to walk away, Zuko on his tail, still shaking, tears streaming down his cheeks. Iroh opened a heavy, wooden door and Zuko stepped inside. Azula was sleeping, lying on the bed and Zuko winced as she saw her face. Over the left side of her face, were scars, the shapes of lightning bolts that started over her temple and went down her cheek and part of her mouth. The scars continued down her neck and probably beyond that but the rest was covered by a white undershirt and the blankets she was cradled in. It was then that he realised that he probably had similar scars, but he didn’t care about that. He didn’t care about anything apart from Azula. She was breathing faintly in small raspy gasps for life which broke his heart. He sat on the floor beside her bed holding her hand, which was terrifyingly cold. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked around.

“Zuko, you’ve been banished. After you fell unconscious, Azula fought Ozai and Ozai struck her with lightning. It’s up to you what you do now, my nephew.” Iroh said. Zuko felt like nothing he was saying was sinking in, just going in one ear and out the other. He felt empty, like there was a huge hole in his chest, and he didn’t know when or if it would be refilled. “It’s cold in here. I should light the fire…”

“No!” Zuko exclaimed suddenly. He didn’t know why, but at the mention of fire, dread creeped up over him, and he shuddered. “I mean, I’m not cold. It’s fine.”

“It’s okay, Zuko,” Iroh said, seemingly understanding Zuko’s fears. “It won’t hurt you.”

“I know it won’t, but that doesn’t...that doesn’t...I don’t know why I’m scared.” Iroh still lit the fire, and Zuko just stared at Azula, hating the warm glow at the back of his neck, shivering at the orange blaze that bathed the room. So he sat by Azula’s bed, while the healers put salve on his burn, which he wasn’t allowed to see, staring the whole time at his sister. He was alive. She was alive. They were both alive.

Zuko was informed that he had been unconscious for five days and had been on the ship for three. He could walk around normally, but he didn’t do much moving around, and instead, opted to stay beside Azula’s bedside. He sat on the cold, wooden floor, holding his little sister’s hand. The only time he moved was when the healers came in to redress the bandages covering almost all of her body, always looking grim when he was allowed back inside the room.
No-one knew if she’d be okay. Everyday was just full of waiting, the whole time on the verge of hysteria and panic. The only thing he could do to keep himself from going insane with panic and worry and anger at his father was imagining Azula being okay. She’ll be okay. She’ll be okay… It’s Azula - she’s always okay.
Zuko must have fallen asleep because he woke up at the sound of movement. He twisted his head round and saw Azula. She was moving, her eyes fluttering open. Zuko stood up.

“Zuko-” And Azula was wrapped in a tight hug as Zuko buried his head in her shoulder, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs, and Azula smiled and squeezed back, feeling like crying herself. “Your face will be screwed up when the bandages come off, won’t it?” she breathed faintly.

“Yours will too, Azu.” Zuko struggled out, with a small smile but his voice was still thick with tears.

Azula smiled weakly after pretending to scowl at him. “It hurts, Zu. It hurts everywhere.” Azula said. Zuko let go of her and held her shoulders. The tears running down his cheeks stung his burn, but he ignored them.

“I know but you’ll get better. We both will.”

***

Chapter Text

Azula held onto the walking bars, her scarred arms shaking with the weight of keeping herself upright. Zuko stood by the side, using all his willpower to not run over and help her. But eventually, she fell. He caught her before she hit the ground, pulling her up and helping her to a chair.

It had been a month since she had woken up and she was struggling. Her legs had been severely damaged during the lightning strike so she needed forearm crutches to walk even the shortest of distances and there was absolutely no way she could make it more than ten metres by herself. It didn’t help that she was already pushing herself - the healers had recommended another month’s bed rest but of course that wasn’t going to happen. Not even all her dressings had been taken off yet.

“I can’t do it!” she yelled. Zuko winced but said nothing, unsure about how to react to her sudden outbursts. It was hard to watch his 11 year old sister not be able to walk because their father almost killed her. “I’m useless.” Zuko couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter at this. “What’s so funny?”

“Huh?” Zuko asked, not hearing Azula the first time since his left side was facing her.

“I said,'' What's so funny?” Azula said, louder this time.

“It’s just hilarious hearing you say such stupid things. You are the opposite of useless, Azu. I’d kill to be as good at firebending as you.” Zuko said. Azula still looked downtrodden, but smiled lopsidedly.

“Thanks, Zu.”

***

Zuko hit the corner of the table and doubled over in pain.

“Holy crap...mother-” Zuko groaned as he held his thigh where he had walked into the table. Azula looked up from where she was sitting.

“You okay, Zuzu?” she asked. Zuko looked up.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just busy dying over here.” he croaked. Azula rolled her eyes.

“You were shot with fire like a month ago. I was shot with lightning. You’re a pathetic turtleduck.”

“I didn’t see it...spirits! I didn’t see the table coming.” Zuko said.

“The table wasn’t coming at you, Zu. You just have no special awareness.”

“I’m BLIND in ONE EYE! AND I just HIT THE TABLE! I HATE my LIFE. EVERYTHING SUCKS! NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS! AHH!” Zuko yelled. He turned around and punched the wall, leaving a hole the shape of his fist there. Azula blinked at him then looked back to the book she was reading.

“There, there, Zuko.”

***

Zuko stood beside Azula as she struggled again, trying to keep herself upright on the bars. Zuko desperately wanted to help her, but he knew that she had to do it by herself. Eventually, she gave up, and collapsed onto the chair behind her.

“Ugh! I hate my stupid legs. Why won’t they just work!” Azula yelled and she slammed her hands on the bars. Bursts of blue fire spurted from her clenched fists and Zuko jumped back, making a sound like a kicked polar bear-dog cub. Azula noticed he was shaking as he collapsed backwards against the wall.

“Oh spirits. I’m an idiot.” Azula muttered to herself. She grabbed the crutches by the side of her chair and hobbled over towards the shaking Zuko. She could hear his shallow breath. At first, she wasn’t sure whether touch was the best thing for her brother at this moment in time, but her contemplations quickly subsided when she felt a grip on her wrist tight enough to bruise.

“Spirits, Zuko!” Azula said, but she didn’t twist her wrist free of the grasp when she saw how scared Zuko looked. She wrapped Zuko in a hug, tight so that it would make Zuko feel safe. After about 10 minutes of sitting there on the floor. Zuko’s shoulders untensed and his breathing and heart rate slowed to just a little above normal.

“Sorry.” Zuko said shortly and shakily. Azula raised her eyebrows.

“Oh yeah Zuko. You should totally be sorry. It’s not like you couldn’t help it. It’s not like it was my fault in the first place.” Azula said sarcastically. Zuko smiled endearingly at his sister.

“Thanks Azula.”

***

“Oh for Agni’s sake not AGAIN!” Zuko yelled as he grabbed his thigh. “Right on the bruise from last time. Son of a-”

“Okay, Zuko. Calm down, you’re overreacting, Mr Angstpants. I have a plan, anyway.” Azula interrupted before Zuko left another hole in the wall.

“Oh thank the Spirits. Right, what’s the plan?” Zuko asked. Azula tented her fingers under her chin and put her elbows on her knees.

“Right, so, you’ll need your firebending for this-” Zuko’s eyebrows shot up in panic. “No, no, no, it’s fine. You won’t actually need to produce any flames. So, close your eyes.” And Zuko did so. “And make a connection to your inner fire.”

“Right. I feel like I’m doing yoga.” Zuko said. “And I hate it.”

“You hate everything, Zuko. What’s so different about this? Have you connected?”

“Yuh huh.” Zuko responded.

“Right then. So, you should feel the draw of Agni on your inner fire. Agni is the sun, your inner fire, and the fire that anyone else produces around us. The draw that you should feel the most is the draw to the sun. You can feel the sun’s rays almost anywhere. Concentrate on that. Now feel everything that’s obstructing Agni’s rays. Now you can sense the things around you. You can then predict when attacks are coming. It will take practice, but it should help.”

“Right. Thanks Azula.”

***

Zuko sat on his bed, his eyes closed, training. Azula sat, reading her book, throwing a scrunched up ball of paper up and down. She looked up at Zuko, then down at the paper, then she smirked.

“Think fast!” she said, and she chucked the paper at Zuko. Zuko’s eyes flashed open, and, without looking up, he reached out his hand and caught it. “That was great, Zuzu.”

“I am a living GOD!” Zuko announced.

“Course you are, Zuzu.”

***

Azula just walked across the room. Without her crutches.

“Azula. You-you just…”

“Oh my God I’m WALKING!” Azula said. Zuko swallowed back tears as he ran over to Azula and hugged her. “I’m walking.” she said, quieter this time, her voice cracking. It had been a while since Zuko had seen Azula cry properly and it seemed almost alien seeing a single tear crawling down her cheeks.

“I’m proud of you, Azu.”

***

Chapter Text

Azula opened the door with her crutch (she was down to one for long distances now) and froze. Zuko was training with his dual dao swords and Azula felt a jolt of jealousy as he watched him. He was amazing at it. She always knew he was good, but she had never witnessed the full extent of his skills until that moment. He moved effortlessly swishing the swords through the air, and if people were around him, they’d be dead in seconds. Azula opened the door fully and Zuko jumped.

“Spirits, Azu. Warn a guy.” he exclaimed. Azula held up her hands in surrender.

“Sorry, but holy shit you’re good!” she said. Zuko raised his eyebrows as he smoothly put his swords back in the scabbards that were strapped to his back.

“Thank...you?” he said nervously. “This is weird. Why are you being nice? What do you want?”

“What do you mean, I’m always nice?” Azula said innocently.

“Azula…” Zuko started.

“Alright, alright. Can you train me? With the swords. Please?” Azula suggested. Zuko’s face lit up.

“Yeah! Of course!” he agreed.

“Wait...really?” Azula said. Zuko nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah. Ask one of the soldiers for a pair of them.” Zuko said. “We can start right away, if you’re up to it that is.”

“Of course I am, Zuzu.” Azula grinned. “Thanks for this, Zu.”

***

Zuko taught Azula how to fight with dual dao swords and they both gradually regained their strength. Physically, Zuko was okay. The burn had blinded and deafened him on the left side of his face, but the rest of him was fine, if a little bruised. He had kept most of his fitness and muscle mass from before the Agni Kai.
Azula was however a different story. Her fire bending skills were still immaculate, as they always had been, but she had never been good at hand-to-hand combat, and she was still weak from the attack. Adding these together, it made for some tough days of training. But, she regained her fitness, and soon she was fully back on her feet. She was pretty useless with the dual dao swords because she had never trained with blades before and Zuko's pair were a little too big for her. She also liked to have at least one hand free for bending, the attack style she was more comfortable with. So, as soon as they could get off the boat, they went looking for a more suitable weapon for Azula.

Their original plan was to stay on the boat constantly with only short breaks to refuel and resupply in hopes of finding the avatar, the task that they were meant to be focusing on, however that was really at the back of their minds right now, and they’d rather not fight for the man that had almost crippled them. Azula was just 11, and Zuko, being, by default, the responsible adult was only 13. Naturally they were scared. They had never been faced with the prospect of living somewhere that wasn’t a huge palace. Sure, the two hadn’t had the most pleasant lives up till now, but a least they had a roof over their heads and had been sheltered from a lot of how life was outside the palace. They had docked at a port and looked around the small town in mild horror and fascination.

“Well….this is new.” Zuko stated. Azula shrugged.

“It certainly is. I think uncle and some of the soldiers are getting supplies for the ship so we just need some clothes.” she said. They went up to the first stall and began their hopeless quest for shopping.

In about 15 minutes, they had found a couple of simple but practical trousers and tunics. They then crossed the small street and were faced with a weapons shop.

“How much money do we have?” Azula asked suddenly. Zuko looked at the coins he had.

“A good amount. Why?” But before he got an answer, Azula was dragging him into the shop, not giving him a chance to even glance back. Azula looked around the shop, and her eyes fixed on a beautiful weapon. Zuko immediately recognised it as a Shin Gunto sword and, seeing the longing look on Azula’s face, he checked the price. “It’s quite a lot, Azula.” Zuko said, but Azula just shrugged, grabbed the sword and walked up to the owner of the shop.

“How much is this?” she asked. The owner looked at the blade and then at Azula.

“About 100 yuan. But, I doubt a little cripple girl like you will be in need of such a weapon-” the owner began, but Azula had produced a flower of icey flames that she held threateningly in her hand.

“How much is it now, sir?” she asked again. The man’s eyes widened at the flames and he stepped back slightly.

“50 yuan.” he whimpered. Azula grabbed the money from the shell-shocked Zuko’s hand, passed it to the man and took the sword.

“Thank you very much sir.” she said cheerfully, and the siblings walked out of the shop.

“Azula, we do NOT threaten people with fire.” Zuko scolded, but he was secretly glad they had gotten the sword at such a small price. Azula smiled lopsidedly and glanced around.

“We should get on.” Azula said. Zuko nodded and they started to set off.

***

“Zuko?”

“Yeah?” Zuko groaned from his comfortable position lying on his bed.

“What are we actually doing?”

“Well I was trying to sleep and you’ve just barged into my room.”

“No, dum-dum. I meant in general. What are we doing on the boat?” Azula snapped but without any real bite to it.

“Capturing the avatar, I suppose. Restoring our honour and all that.”

“Well I don’t know about you, but my honour is perfectly intact, thank you very much. What about yours?”

“But we brought shame to father.”

Azula went and sat on the bed, signalling for Zuko to budge up which he did reluctantly. “Oh come on, Zu! Our father burned half your face off and zapped me with lightning. He brought shame to himself. We put up with his shit for years and years. What the hell is honorable about what he did?”

“Nothing, I guess?”

“You know what I want to do Zuko, I want to leave this ship and go travelling around the Earth Kingdom Colonies. I want to live without our shitty family breathing down our necks,” Azula said wistfully.

“That’s pretty philosophical for an 11 year old.”

“I try and I’m not exactly a normal 11 year old, am I?”

“You certainly aren’t.” Zuko was silent for a moment. ”You’re going to leave aren’t you?”

“Yep.”

“Well someone’s got to come along to make sure you don’t murder without a just cause.”

“You’re going to come?” Azula asked hopefully. Zuko nodded. “I thought it was going to take way more convincing than that.”

The two of them sat there in companionable silence for a while, mulling over what they were about to do.

On the ship, things had been rather tense between Iroh and his nephew and niece. Zuko had overheard one of the healer’s mention that Iroh was at his bedside day and night until he woke up but had barely visited Azula at all despite her injuries being much worse. Because of this, they decided not to bother alerting Iroh or anyone else of where they would be going once they got to the next port town.

They snuck out in the dead of night after pilfering supplies and advanced fire bending scrolls from the hull and Iroh’s cabin. They hid away in the nearest forest, Azula lighting a fire huge enough to burn for the whole night. And the boat set off without them when the sun rose.

The siblings wandered around the market in the port-town of Jiaju as soon as stalls began to be set up. Azula jumped when Zuko gasped suddenly. “Look!”
Azula turned to where Zuko was pointing and her jaw dropped open just like Zuko’s. On the stall were two masks featured in one of the many plays Zuko and Azula enjoyed - Love Amongst the Dragons. They were identical except for the colour with slanted eyes, a gaping mouth and small tusks coming out of the sides. A red and blue spirit mask. They bought them of course.

***