Archive of Our Own

Gaara furrowed his brow in annoyance as Lee dodged his sand for the umpteenth time. He brought his arms up in front of him and held them in a criss-cross, then began to open and close his fists repeatedly. His sand formed into huge, identical fists, which opened and closed like giant flowers again and again as Lee flipped, leapt and even pirouetted away from them.

“Stop messing around!” Gaara yelled.

Lee looked back at him with an ecstatic grin. “Then catch me, slowpoke!” he laughed.

Gaara didn’t even dignify that with an answer. He used Lee’s momentary lapse in attention to grab a hold of his ankle and drag him off of the rock formation at the end of the training field.

Yes, Lee was having far too much fun for someone who was being chased by Gaara of the Desert’s sand, even if this was only a friendly sparring match.

Gaara flung his friend around by the ankle for a minute (carefully of course) and then used his clenched fist to carry him over to the river that ran through the clearing they were in. Lee made a strange wailing noise as he realised where Gaara was taking him.

“Oi, Gaara! Not cool! That current is pretty fierce!” Lee yelled back, flailing and trying to get his ankle out of the sand.

Gaara’s grip was too tight. He was careful not to hurt him of course, but he wasn’t about to go easy on him either. Lee would never forgive him if he did.

Instead, he carried him over to the river and simply dangled him, upside down, over the water. Lee’s hair was hanging down like a curtain and Gaara’s lips twitched into a smile as this gave him a good look at Lee’s face. His eyebrows looked even more impressive without his bowl-cut framing them.

“Are you going to concede?” Gaara called, his voice just loud enough to carry over the sound of rushing water.

“It’s not over yet!” Lee yelled back, but it sounded more petulant than anything. He was writhing as he dangled over the surface of the water, still trying to get himself free (although Gaara didn’t envy him if he fell into the water; they were deep in the forest and it would be a while before he could dry off).

Still smirking, Gaara gradually lowered him towards the water’s surface. “Say it.”

“Gaaraaa….” Lee whined. His hair was just inches away from the water now.

Gaara said nothing; he only lowered his friend until the top of his head was in the water. His hair was submerged, but his eyebrows were still dry… for now.

“Concede or the eyebrows get it,” Gaara said, trying not to laugh.

Lee snorted and laughed. “Seriously, Gaara, come on. Put me back on the ground,” he said, folding his arms.

“Do you concede?” Gaara asked.

Lee rolled his eyes and huffed. “Yes, fine, I concede!” he yelled, looking irritated.

Gaara nodded and gently carried his friend back over to the training field, where he deposited him gently. His sand let go of Lee’s ankle and slithered back into his gourd. Gaara walked over to him and held out his hand, which Lee took with a grin and used to pull himself up. He laughed as his wet hair fell into his face and shook his head, sending water droplets everywhere. Gaara felt a flutter in his chest.

“That wasn’t funny,” Lee said, but he was grinning, dimples and all, so it was hard to believe him.

Gaara smirked and looked away. He had his arms folded across his chest, his usual battle stance, but the mirth in his eyes gave away his light mood.

Lee shook his head and stretched. “Well, I guess that means it’s a best out of three day today, hm?” he asked, giving Gaara a challenging look, before slowly traipsing over to the small hill at the edge of the training field where they’d left their things.

Gaara followed. “If you want,” he replied. Truthfully he had some paperwork to go over, but he could do that tonight. He didn’t need anyone else’s input, and it was rare for him to be able to train against someone with Lee’s speed, so he was determined to make the most of it while he was in Konoha.

Also, he was fairly certain he had a crush on him too, but that was kind of irrelevant.

They sat down on the grass and Lee reached into his backpack for a bottle of water. He brought it to his lips and took several large gulps, and Gaara watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed several times. He felt a heat at the back of his neck, which only grew as Lee pulled the top of the bottle from his mouth and licked his lips.

“You want some?” Lee asked, offering the bottle to him with a raised eyebrow.

Gaara looked at it and took it after a long moment. He waited until Lee began to rummage through his backpack again before he wrapped his lips around the bottle’s opening. He didn’t drink any at first; instead he circled his tongue around the rim of it, searching for the traces of Lee’s saliva. Disappointingly, there was only a faint taste, so Gaara took several deep gulps of water and then handed it back to his friend.

Lee had produced two large onigiri from his backpack, and handed one to Gaara.

Gaara shook his head. “No, thank you,” he said quietly. 

“It’s okay,” Lee said. “I packed an extra one for you. You never bring any food to our training sessions.”

Gaara swallowed and peered at Lee curiously.

Lee pushed it towards him, taking a large bite out of his own.

“Thank you,” he said, and took it after a moment’s consideration. Their hands brushed, just for a moment, but it felt like being electrocuted to Gaara—in a really, really nice way. It was almost overwhelming.

“You weren’t actually going to waterboard me, were you?” Lee asked around a mouthful of rice.

Gaara paused in his chewing momentarily and shook his head.

Lee breathed a laugh through his nose, and Gaara felt his cheeks heat up.

They sat in peaceful silence while they ate, just the sound of the river rushing nearby and occasional birdsong that managed to overcome the noise of the current. Gaara watched curiously as Lee flicked a few grains of rice onto the ground for the dozen or so sparrows which were bathing in the dust. They paused and a few flew over from elsewhere to eat them. Lee smiled as he watched them squabble over it noisily. Gaara tried not to stare as he ate, but the look on his friend’s face was hard to look away from him.

He was just so… good.

Lee finished his food way before Gaara, as usual, and then he flopped back onto the grass with a sigh. He closed his eyes, his eyelashes thick against his cheeks. Gaara was a little transfixed by the way his jumpsuit stretched over his muscles… especially his thighs.  

“When do you go back?” Lee asked.

Gaara felt like a bubble had popped inside of him. He swallowed his mouthful and spoke. “In a couple of days,” he replied.

“Hm… Naruto was saying something about getting dinner with the others before you head back. I wish I could say he meant that he was buying, but you know what he’s like,” Lee said with a laugh.

“It’s alright,” Gaara replied. “But that sounds like fun. I have a lot of meetings tomorrow, but I should be free a little earlier if it goes according to plan.”

“It’s a date, then,” Lee said, stretching his arm above his head and giving a thumbs-up.

Gaara’s lips twisted into a dry smirk, and then he set about finishing his onigiri. He was just wiping his mouth when a high-pitched voice called from across the training field.

“Lee!” Tenten yelled. A few short bounds and she was suddenly across the training field and standing a few feet in front of them.

“Oh, good afternoon, Tenten!” Lee greeted happily. He sat up, leaning back on his hands.

“You know what I’m going to say, right?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“Huh?”

“My sai, Lee. You’ve had them for like two weeks now,” she sighed, shaking her head.

“Argh!” Lee slapped his palm to his forehead. “I meant to bring them today, too! I even made sure I put them on my desk so I didn’t forget them!”

“I guess you were too excited for your training sessions with Kazekage-sama,” she said, smirking.

“You know what? I’m going to run back to the village and get them right now—” Lee began, right before he apparently felt the change in the air behind him and immediately leapt to his feet to block an orange-clad leg from hitting him in the shoulder.

Gaara had felt Naruto’s approach a mile off, but he figured he would wait for him to arrive instead of telling anyone that he would be joining them.

“Think fast, Bushy-Brows!” Naruto yelled, flipping and aiming another kick, this time to Lee’s leg.

Tenten leapt out of the way just in time, as Lee had grabbed Naruto’s other leg and spun so quickly that he didn’t even seem to register being flung over Lee’s shoulder and into the dust. By the time he stood up, Lee had already recovered and was standing in his default battle stance: one arm behind his back, his other in front of him, hand perfectly straight, his legs braced wide apart, a slight smirk and a look of determination on his handsome face.

Gaara watched him with reverence, but the only outward indication of this was his quiet gasp. When he was sparring with Lee, he didn’t get time to appreciate just how perfect his form was. It really was impressive.

Naruto recovered and laughed as he began to engage Lee in a friendly sparring match which, to most outsiders, would seem far too violent for friends. But it was enjoyable for both of them, as was made evident by their laughter and occasional jibes.

It all came to a sudden stop when Tenten yelled over the top of them.

“Lee!!” she yelled, stamping her foot. “My sai, goddamn it! I need them back today or the blacksmith isn’t going to be able to make a mould tomorrow!”

Lee paused in what he was doing and scratched the back of his head with a sheepish grin. “Right! Naruto-kun, would you mind waiting until I get back? I kind of promised Tenten I would return something to her, but I left it at home by mistake… again,” he explained breathlessly.

Gaara stepped forward. “I’ll get them,” he announced.

Everyone looked at him.

“I can get there and back in a few minutes with my sand transportation jutsu,” he explained. “You left them on your desk, correct?”

Lee beamed at him. “Would you?!”

“Just try not to beat Naruto too hard while I’m gone,” he added, before he pressed two fingers to his forehead.

He just about caught the tail end of Lee thanking him loudly before he was standing in the middle of his friend’s small apartment. The sand hissed as it slid back into his gourd and he glanced around. It suddenly occurred to him that he’d never been in here alone before. He’d spent some time at Lee’s apartment, true, but given the generally unaccommodating design of the jounin barracks’ rooms, his visits had been few and far between.

Lee wasn’t exactly messy, but he did have a lot of training equipment. He also had quite a few different weapons, it seemed, and he wasn’t particularly careful about how he stored them considering how dangerous they were. Gaara walked over to the desk. True to Lee’s word, there were two sai lain out across scattered papers. Gaara was no connoisseur of weaponry, but he could tell they were very high quality.

There was also a single kunai with them. Gaara smiled faintly; he’d seen Lee at his desk before. Gaara smiled wider as the memory flooded back to him. It had been a Monday, and Gaara’s meeting had finished earlier than expected. He’d come by to visit Lee and see if he felt like getting dinner while he was in the village.

Lee had been swamped with work, a backlog of unfinished mission reports no doubt, but he’d invited Gaara in to keep him company while he finished the worst one before they headed out. He’d sat there, barefoot in a casual two-piece athletic set. He looked glaringly out of place at his desk, but he’d chatted away happily, eating an orange and spinning his kunai idly while he proofread his work. His knee was to his chest and his dark eyes downcast to the page, the setting sun’s light pouring in through the window had hit his cheek bone. It had accentuated his handsome face and illuminated his glossy hair and thick lashes with a golden glow.

It had been the first time Gaara realised that his feelings toward his friend were… changing.

Gaara found himself tracing a fingertip over the handwriting on the paper in front of him fondly. His eyes softened and for a moment he allowed himself to bask in the intimacy of being in Lee’s room, surrounded by his things. Everything smelled like him in here. Gaara wanted to drown in it.

It was stupid, really. Pathetic. He would never get any closer to him than this, and Gaara knew it. He saw the way Lee looked at that Haruno girl, and it had been all the confirmation he’d needed that there was no way anything was ever going to happen between them.

The thought seemed to sober him somewhat and he realised that he had to get back before anyone got suspicious about why he was taking so long. He reached down and picked up the two sai – they were heavier than he expected, but not unbearably so. He was careful not to knock anything off the desk, but he ended up half-dragging one of the weapons off the top clumsily and accidentally knocked several papers to the floor.

Gaara bent down to pick them up and place them back with the others, but before he put them down his eyes caught on his name on one of the pages.

He blinked a few times and glanced around as if someone was watching him. He knew he shouldn’t… after all, there were mission reports here, which was technically classified information. He would he committing a crime if he read them.

But… surely if his name was in them, then it concerned him, right?

Gaara swallowed. He placed the sai back down on the desk and carefully slid the paper on top of the one with his name on it aside. It was slightly crumpled, as if someone had screwed it up and then unscrewed it. It was rather difficult to read, too, since several lines and words had been crossed out or scribbled over.

Furrowing his brow, Gaara picked it up and brought it up to his face to get a better look at it. Unlike the other papers, this one seemed to be written on lined notebook paper. His name was written at the top, which meant it was addressed to him. Perhaps this was simply a draft of a letter Lee was planning to send, or had already sent..?

Gaara began to read, his brow tight with confusion.

‘Gaara,

I’m writing this letter to say tell you things that I can’t seem to find the nerve to say in real life person. I wish I knew how to say it to your face, as I don’t think a letter will do my feelings justice.

The truth is, I have been having passionate feelings for you. Of course, my feelings for you have always been passionate—but lately they have taken a different turn. I don’t know how to explain this feeling, as I’ve never felt it before. I can feel the fiery passion of Youth burning strong within me when I am with you, but now this passion is… different somehow. Lately when I see you, I cannot stop admiring you help but notice things I didn’t notice before.

For instance, your body feels different next to mine you no longer feel just like a comrade or a rival—although these things are still true of our relationship—I want you to myself I feel closer to you somehow. I don’t know how else to say it.

Perhaps it would be easier if I were to just say what I want to say mean.

I want to tell you that I am in love with you.

I don’t know when or how it happened, but I cannot stop thinking about you. I want to be with you all the time, even though I know this is not possible. I want to call you mine.

I know this must be a lot to take in, and I am under no illusions about the nature of our relationship, especially considering the special position you hold in your village. I am also aware that as I am also a man, I likely do not meet your specifications when it comes to romance. Please do not feel obligated to return my feelings or spare them when you reject turn away my love.

But please know that it is, like my devotion to you, everlasting.

Yours,

Rock Lee'

Gaara felt like his heart was a rock bouncing down a mountainside. What… what was this?

Lee… was in love with him?

He…

His fingers shook as he gripped the paper hard enough to tear it.

Just… what?

Gaara took the paper with him as he slowly walked over to Lee’s bed, his legs feeling like they were going to give out beneath him. He sat down and leaned forward, his head in his hands. He scratched at his scalp, rumpling the paper, and tried to even out his breathing.

What… what was this? His heart was like thunder in his ears. His fingertips traced over the mark on his forehead. He’d… he’d longed for this for so long and yet—it was… it was…

He didn’t know what it was.

That was the scariest part. He felt too many things at once to be able to form a coherent identification of any one emotion. The letter in his hands was literally the realisation of his dream, the one he’d had since he was a lonely child in physical pain from the lack of love. Now, he had confirmation, in black and white, that he had it.

Why did it feel so terrifying?

A thump on the wall behind him jarred him out of his chaotic thoughts. Gaara glanced over his shoulder, half-expecting someone to break through it and catch him red-handed. He had already been far too long, so he stood up and collected himself. He took a deep breath, walked over to the desk and arranged everything in an approximation of what it had looked like when he’d first arrived. Then he picked up the weapons once more and pressed two fingers to his forehead.

He was back in the training field a moment later, looking more morose than before. He said nothing to Tenten’s cheerful greeting and handed her the sai, before stalking off to the tree line to think.

*

Lee awoke before sunrise the next day, as usual. He got dressed, headed out to do a few laps of the village, and then came back to shower and eat breakfast before he had to get on with his work for the day.

He had a mission report to finish writing up, which he decided to get done first. He hated administrative work with a passion that rivalled his love of taijutsu, but it had to be done. The mission to Wave Country he’d spent most of last month completing had been long, complicated and tiring, despite the lack of combat. It had mostly consisted of surveillance work, which he decidedly did not enjoy. Alas, being on a team with a Hyuuga tended to get them sent off on missions involving heavy surveillance work. Oh well, it was an honour to be of service to his village regardless!

With that in mind, Lee set about finishing the long and boring paperwork so he could take it down to the mission room later. One day before the final deadline was still in time, after all!

He was on his way out of the mission room around midday when he caught sight of Gaara at the other end of the street. He was wearing his robe of office, which tended to make his rust-red hair stand out even more. Lee grinned wide, feeling the monotony of his morning dissipate, replaced with a bubbling excitement.

“Gaara!” he called, before jogging over to him.

Gaara jumped a little and glanced over his shoulder. His eyes widened a bit when he saw Lee, but he didn’t say anything.

“Ah—I mean, good morning, Kazekage-sama,” he said, before bowing sharply at the waist. He hadn’t noticed the other important-looking people who were with him, who were several decades older than Gaara himself.

“Lee,” Gaara breathed. He glanced at his companions, and then back to Lee again.

“I’m sorry,” Lee replied. “I didn’t realise you were—um, busy,” he said, scratching the back of his head and feeling supremely stupid. Of course he was busy; he was the leader of a foreign village, visiting Konoha on official business, after all…

“It’s alright,” Gaara murmured, before turning to the others, who were a few steps ahead of them and watching them curiously. “This is Rock Lee, a jounin of Konoha, who I often train with,” he explained. “Lee, this is Nakamura Itsuki and Furuhawa Haruto—they’re on Konoha’s trade advisory committee.”

“It’s very nice to meet you!” Lee said, his cheeks burning a bit. He turned to Gaara and whispered. “I’m sorry! I didn’t realise you were in the middle of something.”

“It’s fine, Lee, really,” Gaara said, but he still looked tense.

Lee furrowed his brow, feeling more embarrassed than ever. Clearly he had just humiliated the Kazekage in front of his fellow politicians!

“Um—I was just going to ask you if you’re still up for getting dinner with Naruto and the others tonight,” he asked quietly.

Gaara swallowed. “Yes.”

“Great,” Lee grinned, feeling his embarrassment fade a bit. “I’ll come pick you up if you want. You might not be able to find the place—it’s a tempura restaurant in the arcade, and it’s a bit of a ‘hidden gem’ according to Chouji.”

“Alright,” Gaara replied, and then called over his shoulder to his companions. “You head on, I’ll catch up with you in a moment.”

“You take as long as you like, young man!” Furuhawa-san called back.

“Don’t worry about us old coots!” Nakamura-san added, his voice muffled by his pipe.

Gaara smiled softly and turned back to Lee as they walked ahead. Lee couldn’t say what it was, but there was something… off in his friend’s composure. He furrowed his brow and thought to ask him what was wrong, but there was no way to do that without it sounding weird.

For a moment, it seemed like Gaara was going to say something, but the look shuttered before he was able to get anything out.

“I’ll see you later, Lee,” he said after a moment.

“Sure… bye,” Lee replied, scratching the back of his head as he watched Gaara walk away.

*

The evening came around sooner than expected for Lee, but that wasn’t exactly unusual. Training, even alone, was so enjoyable that it always seemed to pass by very quickly. He headed back home from the training field to shower.

As the water beat down on his aching muscles, his mind drifted back to Gaara. He was worried about his friend, and not just because of his odd behaviour today. No, Gaara’s demeanour around him had shifted some time ago, but Lee just couldn’t put his finger on why. It occurred to him that maybe Gaara had figured out that Lee’s affections for him ran considerably deeper than friendship, but Lee didn’t honestly think that Gaara’s empathy was so developed that he would be able to sense his emotions like that. He had trouble accepting even simple compliments from people as the truth, although Lee only knew this because Gaara had once confided in him that he struggled to feel like people meant it. To be fair, some of them probably did give him compliments out of respect or fear, but that didn’t make them baseless.

No, this was something rather different. Lee didn’t like the idea of Gaara leaving tomorrow when he was in this kind of mood, but he didn’t know what to do about it either.

Maybe… maybe Gaara would open up to him of his own accord…? That was unlikely. Lee rubbed the water from his eyes and shut the water off, then stepped out of the shower and dried himself, still deep in thought.

There were no two ways about it. He was going to have to try and broach the subject with Gaara himself. He had no idea what he was going to say, but he figured that he would just have to muddle through and hope that Gaara would open up a bit.

Lee finished getting ready and headed out. It was a bit of a walk to the hotel where Gaara and his entourage were staying, but he made it there in good time. By the time he arrived, Gaara was leaning against the outer wall, slightly out of sight. Lee swallowed as he took in his appearance; he was wearing that small gourd he’d been carrying around on his hip lately, forgoing the larger one he usually carried on his back, along with a pair of tight-fitting trousers and a deep red tunic. It was a dressed-down look that made him seem a lot more casual and laid-back, and for a moment Lee was stunned.

“Good evening, Lee,” Gaara said softly, apparently noticing his approach.

Walking a bit closer, Lee coughed and gave a small smile. “Good evening, Gaara. Ready for dinner?”

Gaara nodded and they set off to the restaurant.

The silence was a bit awkward as Lee struggled to find the right words to broach the subject with Gaara. He rubbed his hands together and then swayed them by his sides as they walked.

“So… you excited to get home tomorrow?” he asked, glancing sideways at his friend.

“Not particularly,” Gaara replied, apparently not noticing Lee’s discomfort.

“Huh? Why?”

“…I usually miss my friends when I’m there,” Gaara replied.

“Oh… I see.”

“I have friends in Suna, and my brother, too, but— it’s not like I have here. It’s hard to explain,” he said, before going quiet for a few moments. “I don’t really mind it though. I have a purpose there and I am committed to protecting my village. I don’t need anything else.”

Lee was silent for a moment. “Hm… There’s a difference between need and want though,” he replied. “I mean… You being Kazekage is a big deal, I know, and we all have to make sacrifices. But—it’s not wrong for you to want more…”

Gaara looked at him oddly. “More? What more could there be?”

Lee was silent for a few moments while he thought about his next words. “Well… I guess it would be nice if you lived closer. Then we could train together whenever we wanted, and we’d be able to go out to dinner with everyone more often too,” he said, grinning as he thought about it—being able to hang out with Gaara whenever he wanted sounded like a dream…

“That would be nice. But being Kazekage is busy work. I probably wouldn’t have the time to do that stuff like I do when I’m here on business. I have more free time in Konoha simply because I cannot possibly bring all my work with me. You should see the backlog I have when I get home,” he explained.

 Lee frowned and hummed in response. He glanced up and realised that they were about to enter the arcade in Konoha’s narrow backstreets. He placed his hand on the small of Gaara’s back to guide him into a narrow alleyway that was lined with various food vendors and restaurants.

At his touch, Gaara visibly tensed up and Lee didn’t miss the sudden change in his demeanour. “This way,” he whispered, smiling as he gently nudged him forward.

Gaara swallowed and nodded, and Lee let his hand fall to his side as they fell into step once more. He pretended not to notice how Gaara’s eyes lingered on him for a few moments; physical contact was still a bit of an ordeal for his friend, and Lee was always careful with any physical touch. But he’d wanted to soothe him somehow, and Lee was a very physical person; why, a manly hug from his teacher always brightened his spirits!

It seemed to have worked despite Gaara’s initial reaction to the touch, because when he sat down in the booth with their friends, he was smiling.

Lee could barely take his eyes off his friend all night. Gaara was captivating even when he was doing something as dull as fastening his gourd to his middle, or even as un-sexy as picking dirt out from under his fingernails after a sparring session. Here in the restaurant, where he was currently laughing as Naruto picked up a fish head with his chopsticks and pretended to make it talk to Chouji, he was entrancing to look at. Even when Chouji batted a cackling Naruto away and soy sauce flicked onto his cheek.

Midway through the meal, Gaara shifted a bit to make room for Naruto’s animated movements as he made fun of Shikamaru. He had broken an ornamental fan that Temari had been given by some diplomat from Wave Country, and then blamed it on one-year-old Shikadai to avoid his wife’s wrath. Naruto apparently found the fact that he’d blamed a toddler for his careless mistake hilarious. As Gaara shifted, their thighs pressed together. Lee glanced at his friend and gave him a look to check if he was alright, but Gaara didn’t move or even return the look. Lee felt his heart rate speed up and he swallowed; he wasn’t used to this part of his body being touched, let alone by the one he was… the one he was in love with.

The night passed by far too quickly and before long, a waitress came by to tell them that the restaurant would be closing in half an hour. Most of their friends were rather drunk, although they were not as rowdy as Lee knew them to get. It was a weeknight after all, and many of them had work in the morning. As far as Lee knew, Gaara didn’t ever drink. That wasn’t a surprise, honestly.

Lee waved goodbye to Naruto and their other friends as they disappeared onto the rooftops and headed home. He was still chuckling from their antics when he turned to face Gaara.

“Well, that was fun,” he laughed.

Gaara was smirking. “Yes. I certainly have some interesting blackmail material on my brother-in-law now,” he said.

Lee laughed harder and slung an arm around his friend’s shoulder. “Come on. My place is closer than the hotel. You can stay the night,” he said, pulling him a little closer.

There was another noticeable change in Gaara’s body language, but he relaxed into Lee’s touch a bit more quickly this time. Lee grinned.

Things were quiet for a few moments while they walked through Konoha’s gradually emptying commercial district. The lanterns were alight now and the smell of food was permeating the air. If Lee hadn’t just eaten his weight in tempura, he’d be looking for the nearest open restaurant right now.

He was gazing at a stall that was selling mochi when he felt an arm slide around his middle. It was a slow, tentative movement that reeked of wariness. Lee glanced down.

“Is… is that alright?” Gaara asked, quietly, not meeting his eyes.

Lee grinned at him enthusiastically. “Of course it’s alright,” he replied. If Gaara was anyone else, he’d be offering to carry him home in a show of chivalry right now. But alas, Gaara was Gaara, and that would probably be a bit much for him.

So instead, Lee simply chatted away about the new naginata Tenten had bought and how skillful she was at using it. Gai-sensei had been so proud of her that he’d bought all of them takoyaki and made a magnificent speech about it.

They made it back to Lee’s apartment soon enough, though by the time they got there, Lee had been so animated while gushing about his teammates that he’d stepped away and separated them both. He didn’t notice it until he’d finished his story, and by the time he did, he didn’t have the nerve to wrap his arm around his friend again. So they walked, side by side, until they reached the jounin barracks.

Lee unlocked the main entrance and they headed upstairs quietly. It wasn’t terribly late, but Lee was fastidious about keeping his relationship with his neighbours cordial. He glanced over his shoulder to see Gaara yawning and grinned.

“Sorry. I can get a little… excited when I talk about my teammates,” he explained, his voice hushed.

“No, it’s not that,” Gaara replied. “I’ve just been working really hard lately. I could use a good night’s rest.”

“Don’t worry! I will let you have my bed so you can sleep.”

“No, Lee, I—”

“No no!” Lee whispered, pulling his keys out of his pocket. “You know I can sleep while jogging?”

Gaara looked at him strangely. “If you were anyone else, I would have trouble believing that.”

Lee chuckled and opened his door. He held the door open for Gaara and then closed it behind him before locking it for the night. “Do you want a drink or anything?” he asked, his voice louder now. He shrugged off his jounin vest and hung it up on the hook close to the door. His kunai pouch was still on his thigh, as always.

“I’m not thirsty,” Gaara replied, and headed into the living area. He went up to the window and looked out onto the street blow. Lee’s street wasn’t as busy as the commercial district, but being on the top floor meant that he had a good view over his neighbouring streets and the sky beyond. It was a peaceful part of the village.

Lee was fussing over his sandals in the doorway, trying to get the cupboard door to stay shut with them inside it. He’d just stood up when he heard Gaara sigh and let out a contented hum.

“It’s so peaceful here…” Gaara murmured, leaning against the windowsill.

Lee smiled softly and walked over to his friend. “What, my jounin bachelor apartment? Surely the Kazekage’s estate is more comfortable,” Lee replied, coming to lean against the wall beside him.

Gaara blinked slowly. “It’s big,” he said, “big and empty.”

Frowning, Lee turned to look him in the face. “Gaara… is everything alright?”

Gaara flicked his eyes toward him. “Yes.”

“You know you can talk to me when you need to, right?” he asked, and reached out to carefully place his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

Gaara nodded once and patted Lee’s hand. Then he pushed away from the window and took a few steps toward the bathroom. “I’m going to freshen up before we go to sleep,” he said. “You take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Oh no, really it’s—”

“Lee. There is a good chance I will not sleep at all tonight. You can sleep in your own bed.”

Lee opened his mouth to argue, but Gaara had already closed the bathroom door behind him. He frowned. And apparently he was the stubborn one…

*

In what felt like no time at all, the sunrise was peeking through the blinds and Lee’s alarm was going off. He reached out with a groan and slapped it until the incessant bleeping ceased, then sat up. He yawned loudly and rubbed his eyes with a groan, before glancing around the room. It took him a few moments to remember that he had company.

…Should have company, rather.

Suddenly feeling a lot more alert, Lee scratched the back of his head. “Gaara?” he called out. His apartment consisted of one room with a tiny kitchenette in the corner, so the only other place his friend could be was the bathroom. But the door was half open and the light wasn’t on, so it was unlikely he was in there.

Lee’s stomach sank. He’d actually been hoping that Gaara might accompany him on his morning run. He knew it was unlikely that he’d have accepted, but it would’ve been nice…

With a sigh, he threw the covers back and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He stretched for a few moments and then headed for the bathroom to get ready for the day anyway. Gaara wasn’t leaving until noon, which meant he’d be able to ask him why he’d left so early at least.

He was wandering around the apartment as he brushed his teeth – Lee could never stay still for long enough to stay in the bathroom while he did it – when he noticed that the mess on his desk was… different.

He froze.

Not bothering to rinse out his mouth, Lee hurried over to his desk. A quick glance told him that nothing important had been stolen, but he had to make sure. As he was leafing through the stack of reports he’d been working on, he noticed it.

There was a white envelope on his blotter with his name on it.

Lee had received enough letters from Gaara to know it was his friend’s handwriting. He dropped the stack of papers he’d been sorting through and opened it immediately, tearing through the top with his thumb in one long, neat swipe. He almost ripped the paper inside as he pulled it out in his curiosity.

His eyes became impossibly rounder as he read the contents of Gaara’s letter.

Then his cheeks became extremely red.

Lee read the letter again, and then again, just to triple check that he’d not misread it in his haste.

Nope, this… this was definitely…

A love letter.

From Gaara.

Gaara.

Gaara, the one he’d been harbouring a secret crush on for at least a year now.

‘Crush’ was rather an understatement, really—a crush was what he’d had on Sakura—still had, really. What he felt for Gaara, on the other hand, was…

Complicated.

It was deep, powerful, real… but sometimes scary, distressing, and tinged with longing.

At its core though, what he felt for Gaara was so visceral it gored him with its intensity.

He’d never felt anything like it.

Of course, it had never occurred to Lee that he would actually tell Gaara this; he had no idea how he was supposed to do that, and he’d been unsuccessful in his attempts to figure out how exactly you tell the leader of a foreign village that you’re in love with him.

Apparently though, Gaara had found out anyway, and… felt the same way.

Lee read the letter again. He had to, really – it didn’t seem right. Maybe it was some sort of joke..?

He frowned, wondering if his friends were really cruel enough to play that kind of prank on him, and then chastised himself for doubting them just as quickly.

No, if Gaara had taken the time to write this…it had to be real.

Lee glanced up at the clock. It was five thirty, so although Gaara was likely awake, it probably wasn’t a good idea to go charging off to his hotel at this time in the morning.  

Instead, he got dressed and went about his usual routine; at least he would be able to think about what he was going to say to his friend while he was out running.

He made it about halfway through his fourth lap of the village when he couldn’t take the anticipation anymore. He made a left as he passed the village gates and headed towards Gaara’s hotel, waving to the shinobi on duty as he passed. This earned him a strange look; normally he would stop to chat to whoever was there, but today he had a more urgent matter to attend to.

He hopped up onto the roof of the building adjacent to the hotel, close to the window of Gaara’s room. He gave a flare of his chakra to signal his arrival, and waited.

And waited.

When there was no response, Lee did it again, and when there was still no sign of his friend, he leapt onto the canopy below the window to peer inside.

He was greeted by the sight of a middle aged woman with a vacuum cleaner, who gave a startled yelp when Lee suddenly appeared at the window.

“Aah!” Lee yelled, slipping a bit on the tiles.

She clutched her chest in horror and stared at Lee with an expression like a goldfish just seeing its reflection for the first time.

“Ah! I’m so sorry!” he yelled, his voice obviously muffled by the glass.

The woman walked up to the window and opened it a bit. “What on earth are you doing?!” she asked sternly.

Lee smiled sheepishly. “Oh, I was—I was looking for my friend! He was in this room before… has he gone to eat breakfast?” he asked.

“The Kazekage? No, he left sometime last night,” she replied. “Rather rude if you ask me. The least he could do is wait until his check-out time, but I guess those Suna folk have always been a bit harder than the rest of us—”

“Last night?! But…”

The woman placed a hand on her hip and nodded. “Yes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do. And get off the roof before I call the manager.” With that, she slammed the window shut.

Lee let out a deflated sigh. Last night… he was probably at the border by now.

Shaking his head, Lee decided that he would just have to try and catch him. He hopped up onto the roof of the hotel and made his way to the mission room.

When he got there, Naruto and Sakura were already there.

“Oh, hey Bushy-brows!” Naruto said in greeting.

“Good morning Lee,” Sakura said with a smile.

“Good morning, Sakura-san, Naruto-kun,” Lee replied in passing, making his way across the room.

His friends gave him a strange look. He didn’t make any attempt to further the conversation; he was already preoccupied. He approached the desk briskly.

“Good morning! Do you have any missions that would take me to Sunagakure?” he asked.

The chuunin on the desk didn’t even look up from his crossword. “Nothing exciting,” he replied.

Lee set his jaw. “That isn’t really important. I’ll take anything.”

This got the man’s attention. “Anything?” he gave Lee a thoughtful look. “Well, there’s a C rank to take this creepy-ass puppet back there. The owner says it’s haunted, been trying to sell it for years. Apparently there’s a museum in Suna that wants it, says it’s an antique made by some Suna ninja over a hundred years ago—”

“I’ll take it,” Lee said with a nod.

“You sure?” the chuunin asked, giving Lee a suspicious look. “There’s a weird jutsu keyed into it, you know…”

“That mission has been on your desk for the past two weeks. Do you want to get rid of it or not?” Lee asked, folding his arms.

The man made a relenting gesture, then reached for the scroll in the basket nearby. “Good luck,” he said, slapping it into Lee’s outstretched hand.

“Thank you,” Lee said, giving a salute.

Naruto and Sakura waved goodbye to him, still looking at him oddly, as he left.

Finding the address of the owner took more time than Lee had the patience for today. It turned out to be in a complex of very old buildings, and the owner was a crotchety old man – who decided to take his frustration at the length of time it took for his mission to be filled out on Lee.

After several minutes of berating him, he finally went to retrieve the puppet. It was stored in a box not too dissimilar to the one Kankuro carried on his back, which was a relief. Lee didn’t want to be held responsible for breaking a cursed, antique puppet. His luck was bad enough as it was.

Lee headed home to get the rest of the things he’d need for the trip and eat a quick breakfast. Then, finally, he was on his way, heading for the border on Gaara’s tail.

*

The journey to Suna was long and arduous, but it definitely made a difference not having a team to slow down for. Jumping through the trees as quickly as he wanted was liberating, but it did little to quell his nervousness.

He’d been all too eager to follow Gaara back to Suna, but now he was on his way, he was unsure about what he was actually going to say to his friend. “Hey Gaara, you know that love letter you left for me to find before doing moonlight flit? How about that?” wasn’t exactly a good way to broach the subject, but Lee wasn’t sure how else he was going to bring it up.

The distance between Konoha and Suna was rather long, a fact which Lee usually regretted. But with so much on his mind, it was a blessing in disguise.

Gaara might not even want to see him! After all, he would be just getting home by the time Lee reached the village, so maybe it wasn’t the best idea to go running off after him right away… But Lee was on a mission, so he figured that there was little he could do about it now anyway.

A couple of days later, Lee was finally at Suna’s main entrance. He was rather impressed with himself – usually it took three or even four days to reach Suna from Konoha, especially if the weather was bad or the route particularly affected by criminal activity. But Lee had made good time, and arrived bright and early in the morning.

He showed his mission scroll to the guard and swung his arms around idly while he waited for her to check it. He wiped the sweat from his brow, too – he’d forgotten how much warmer it got in Suna…

“Alright. Proceed,” she said bleakly, handing the scroll back to him with a yawn.

“Thank you!” Lee replied brightly. He saluted and jogged through the entryway into the village.

Lee stood in the centre of the main street, and then froze.

It occurred to him, rather belatedly, that he had no idea where he was going.  He opened the scroll and scanned it for any kind of map or directions, but rather unhelpfully it simply described the recipient of the doll as ‘Suna Antiquarian Centre’. Lee frowned and folded the scroll up. Well, clearly he was just going to have to do it the old fashioned way and ask someone for directions.

The first person he asked, a young kunoichi who was perusing some strange-looking meats in the bazaar, had no idea what he was talking about. The next person, a shopkeeper sweeping the front entrance to his store, sent him to the wrong place. Lee stood with his hands on his hips and looked up at the sky in frustration. There was little else to do but just keep asking until someone knew where this place was, and sent him in the right direction.

Eventually, Lee came to a huge sandstone building with Suna’s hourglass emblem carved into the rock face, with the kanji for wind on its imposing doors. It was Suna’s massive library. Lee grinned. Someone in there had to know where it was.

As it turned out, the elderly woman at the desk was familiar with the place, and at last Lee was able to find the building he was looking for. The puppet delivered, safe and in one piece, Lee could finally get on with what he truly came here for.

…Once he found the right building, of course.

Lee had been to Suna plenty of times, but he’d mainly stayed in the same area and he’d usually been accompanied by Gaara, Kankuro or Temari. So finding his way back to the administrative centre of the village was not that straightforward.

Lee had been wondering around the streets for about twenty minutes before he gave up and took to the rooftops. The vantage point up here was considerably better. He sank down into a crouch and brought his hand up to shield his eyes from the sun while he glanced around. Suna’s architecture was unique, designed to withstand frequent sandstorms. However, they were mostly made out of sandstone, so unlike Konoha’s brightly coloured buildings, everything kind of blended into various shades of beige.

Finally though, he was able to spot the building he was looking for, and once there he was able to get his bearings again.

He made his way along the rooftops that led to Gaara’s estate. There was a guard on duty at the main gate, which was a bummer. There was no way he was going to let an unannounced, foreign shinobi into the Kazekage’s estate, so instead Lee decided to sit against the wall near the entrance, and wait for Gaara to return home.

He didn’t even realise that he’d fallen asleep until he heard a familiar voice say his name.

“Lee!”

Lee jolted awake and he looked up at his friend, wincing at the bright sunshine. “Gaara!” he said with a smile.

“What are you doing here?” Gaara asked, stepping closer to him with a worried look on his face.

Lee sighed. “You really thought you could give me the slip without saying goodbye?” he asked, standing up and dusting off the backside of his jumpsuit.

Gaara stared at him.

Lee stared back.

“You’d better come inside,” Gaara said softly.

Lee realised then that Gaara was carrying a sizable stack of papers.

“Here, let me,” he said, and took them from him carefully.

Gaara watched him oddly, but didn’t say anything. The guard at the gate saluted at Gaara as he opened the door for them, and they walked up the short path to the Kazekage’s residence silently. Gaara released the seal on the door and opened it, holding it open for him and then following Lee inside.

“Over there is fine,” Gaara said, toeing off his sandals and gesturing to the dining area.

Lee carefully pulled off his own shoes with each foot and then stepped inside. There was a large, old-looking table off to one side, which was probably meant for entertaining guests. But under Gaara’s ownership, it seemed to have been commandeered for various stacks of paper and scrolls. Lee placed the papers down onto the table carefully and then stood up straight.

Gaara’s home was, as he’d said, very large – the Kazekage’s residence was a protected estate in the centre of the village, close to the legislation building. It was carved into the bedrock and decorated with traditional Sunan artwork; rich tapestries hung from the walls and round windows, and there were various forms of pottery and decorative weaponry around the room. It had an earthy smell like all the other buildings in Suna; an unavoidable feature of buildings made from stone rather than timber like Konoha’s.

 “So,” Lee began, rubbing his hands together.

Gaara said nothing; he shrugged off his robe and slung it over the back of the low couch he was standing by. “Do you want something to eat? You can’t have eaten much if you made it here in two days,” he said, walking toward the kitchen. There was a hint of disapproval in his voice which made Lee smile a bit sheepishly.

“Um, no thank you. I’ll get something later. I just—I need to speak to you before I have to go back,” he said.

Gaara stopped in the large archway leading into the kitchen. “How long are you here for?”

“Not long. Technically I’ve already completed my mission. But I came here to speak to you, mostly. I… I got your letter,” he said, his cheeks burning. He reached into the pocket of his flak jacket and pulled out the small envelope Gaara had left on his desk.

Gaara said nothing. He looked at the envelope in Lee’s hand with a flat expression.

“I need to apologise,” he said after several long moments. He turned around to face Lee fully and folded his arms, but he was looking at the ground.

“What for?” Lee asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“The other day, I… I shouldn’t have pried, I know. It was… potentially sensitive information, and I could’ve jeopardised the relationship between our villages,” he explained.

Lee wasn’t following. “What are you talking about?”

Gaara swallowed and looked at him fully. “The other day when I went to retrieve the weapons your friend wanted back, I… saw a letter on your desk. A letter with my name on it.”

A letter? With Gaara’s name on it..? Lee frowned as he tried to think of—Oh. Oh.

Lee’s eyes widened until they were almost comically large.

“I promise you I did not read anything else. But I was curious, and that got the better of me,” Gaara said.

Scratching the back of his head, Lee looked away in embarrassment, his cheeks feeling as though they were on fire. “You um… weren’t supposed to read that,” he mumbled. He slipped the envelope back into his pocket for safe keeping.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Gaara replied, looking at the floor.

Lee swallowed and looked back up at his friend. “You know, I… I meant everything I wrote,” he said after a moment. “I just—the only reason I was going to throw it away was because it didn’t sound very… eloquent. I’m not as good at expressing myself as Gai-sensei is, and I was just trying to find the right words…”

Gaara said nothing, he just watched Lee as he babbled.

“Every time I sat down to write something, it kind of just… fell short of how I feel,” he added. “Nothing ever sounded like it even came close to—to the way I feel about you…”

Gaara’s eyes softened. “I understand.”

Lee took a step closer. “Really?”

“Yes. To be truthful, I’m… rather ashamed of the letter I wrote you. It isn’t very substantial. But I don’t know how else I’m supposed to say it,” he explained.

Lee felt his heart melt. “It’s enough. As long as you mean it… it’s enough.”

Straightening up a bit, Gaara took a few steps closer to him, until he was standing just a few feet away. “I meant it,” he said, gazing deeply into Lee’s eyes. “I’m not an expert on this. I’m still learning. But I know that you are… as you would say… my most important person.”

Lee grinned. He couldn’t help it. He felt like his heart was going to fly out of his chest with love and pride and adoration. He suddenly reached for his friend and embraced him tightly, his arms wrapped around his shoulders.

Gaara jumped as he was grabbed, and Lee heard the sand rustle in the gourd resting against the wall nearby. His body was still as Lee held him tightly, his face buried in his neck.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I just—” he mumbled. “It’s just that I’ve wanted to hear those words for such a long time and it’s a little bit—”

Lee felt Gaara’s body loosen. Then he felt tentative hands against his shoulder blades, and Gaara seemed to relax against him properly.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, his face pressed to Lee’s chest.

The tips of Gaara’s hair were tickling the side of Lee’s neck. The sounds around him seemed a lot louder in that moment of stillness where they held each other; the hum of something in Gaara’s kitchen, a wind chime out in the courtyard… The sound of Gaara’s breathing as he exhaled and seemed to sink into Lee’s embrace with something like relief. Lee could only hold him tighter.

When they parted, it seemed as though neither of them wanted to go very far. Lee didn’t expect it, but it was so natural that he barely registered it happening.

Gaara leaned in and Lee met him halfway. Their lips met gently, barely brushing against each other at first. When Lee tilted his head to the side and kissed him more fully, Gaara let out a shudder and his eyes fluttered closed. It started to feel like the hold he had on Lee’s back was necessary for him to stay standing, as he gripped the fabric in tight fists as their kiss deepened.

Lee felt like he was in a dream. The kiss was so tender and tinged with both of their inexperience. But Lee’s body had good instincts, and Gaara’s mouth seemed to melt against his, so when Lee deepened it, he met no resistance.

Gaara’s hot tongue was like velvet and Lee couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped at the taste of him. He could’ve kissed him for days on end, but they just didn’t have the time.

After what felt like hours, they finally parted. Lee’s face felt like it was burning, and even Gaara’s cheeks were a bit pink. It was maybe the adrenaline, maybe the excitement. Lee didn’t want to push things further than what felt right, but he already felt like he was on top of the world with ecstasy. He had just kissed Gaara… his most important person… for whom he was also the most important person. He grinned slightly when Gaara didn’t open his eyes for several moments after the kiss ended.

“…Was that okay?” Lee asked, his voice quiet and breathless in the small space between their lips. He rested his forehead against Gaara’s and stroked his hair soothingly.

“Uh huh…” Gaara replied, his voice wobbly. He finally closed his mouth fully and swallowed.

For a minute, they simply basked in the closeness of each other - Lee careful not to overwhelm his touch-starved friend, and Gaara too wary to do anything more than cling to him.

Gaara was the one to break the silence. “What do we do now..?”

Lee swallowed and held him tighter. “I don’t know.”

Gaara burrowed his face deeper into Lee’s neck. “What do you want?”

“I want you. This… Us.”

“But I’m in Suna, and you’re—”

“I know,” Lee replied, stroking the back of his head soothingly. “But we’ll figure it out.”

Gaara said nothing. It was impossible for him to say how they were going to work it out, but Lee was determined to make it possible. He wasn’t going to let Gaara down.

“I have a meeting in half an hour,” Gaara murmured after several long minutes of being held.

“I probably need to leave soon, too,” Lee replied with a regretful tone. “But… I will write to you as soon as I get back. And I will try to visit you when I have the time.”

“I’m going to make sure I can come to you, too,” Gaara replied, and pulled away from Lee after a moment.

Lee tried not to feel too disappointed as Gaara stepped away.

“Lee, I… I don’ know if I can give you what you want,” he said after a long pause. “I need you know that I might not be able to—to make you happy.”

Lee shook his head. “I’ll take whatever you can give me, and it’ll be more than enough. I promise,” he replied, placing his hands on Gaara’s shoulders.

Gaara reached up to touch his wrist. “All I’m asking is… please be patient with me.”

“Of course! We’ll work it out together!” he said cheerfully, his trademark grin fully in place now. “If we both work hard, we can experience the full power of the Springtime of Youth! I’m certain of it!”

Gaara gave him a long look, and then smiled. “Yes,” he replied. “I… I look forward to it.”

“Yosha!” Lee grinned, his heart pounding.

Gaara couldn’t come to see him off at the gate, but he did make sure that Lee ate enough for the journey back. Lee didn’t mind being made to eat the strange meal that Gaara said was good to eat before travelling the desert, even if the meat was… of questionable origin. After all, they had a date in two weeks’ time, and Lee didn’t want to be dead of dehydration before that.

No, there were far too many things to look forward to now.

*

‘Lee,

I love you. I didn’t think I’d ever be able say that to anyone, but you’ve proven me wrong… yet again.

You truly are a remarkable shinobi.

Yours,

Gaara’