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Osamu stretched his hand up toward the ceiling, letting soft morning light filter between splayed, calloused fingers. The bed he was laying in was soft, softer than he expected. He’d sat on it before, but he didn’t think it would be this comfortable to sleep in. Or, maybe that comfort was more so due to the still slumbering person beside him.
The lithe body next to him began to stir, just slightly. If he listened closely, Osamu could have sworn he heard murmurs of “‘Samu” and “Don’t go” escape from those lips. But, those words were swiftly replaced by the deep, rhythmic breaths of sleep.
This wasn’t the first time that Osamu had slept over at Suna’s house, but it was the first time that they shared a bed. Usually, Suna just set out a futon for him to sleep on the floor. But when Osamu started to unfold the temporary bedding last night, he felt slim fingers wrap around his wrist and pull him toward Suna’s bed.
Last night, he mused. I finally told him last night.
Osamu was having a good day. Atsumu didn’t steal his pudding that morning, he aced his midterms, and he hadn’t missed a single spiking drill at volleyball practice. Despite the stress of their approaching graduation among other lingering thoughts, he was having a good day. And, he figured he could squeeze in one more victory before his lucky streak ended.
A half-finished Chuupet hung loosely from Suna’s mouth when Osamu caught up with him outside the convenience store. The gray-haired teen began to unwrap the warm onigiri he held in his hands. He had to shake off a bit of finicky plastic wrap that clung to his fingers with static.
This was the pair’s regular routine. After club practice, Osamu had to fulfill his captainly duties. He stuck around late to put away all the equipment and make sure both the gym and club room were locked. Atsumu, being the unloyal demon twin that he is, oftentimes ditched him in favor of going home earlier. He ribbed Osamu that this is what he got for being captain and proclaimed he’d eat all of Ma’s food before his brother returned home.
Suna, on the other hand, would stick around until Osamu finished locking up. Sometimes he’d help out. Other times he’d just sit off to the side, narrow eyes glued to whatever he was looking at on his phone screen, but he kept Osamu company.
They always took a small detour and stopped by the nearby store to grab a snack, even when it was getting late. Their daily walks were peppered with the soft sounds of muted eating and conversations about school assignments or upcoming volleyball matches.
Practice that day had gone on a bit longer than normal, mostly because Nationals were rapidly approaching. By the time two teens rounded the corner to Suna’s house, the sun had already set and a chilled breeze glided through the night air. Osamu couldn’t help but notice that their steps were perfectly matched.
Suna turned on his heel, about to walk up the short path that led to the front door of his parents’ house.
“Rintarou, wait.” Before he even realized what he was doing, the words had already left Osamu’s lips.
Suna pivoted back toward him, lifting a curious eyebrow. “Oh, what is it?”
Osamu swallowed hard, determined to get rid of the dry lump in his throat. It’s now or never.
“There’s somethin’ I needa tell ya,” he started, but his voice was low and quiet.
“You’re going to have to speak up ‘Samu. I can barely hear you.” A familiar smirk crossed Suna’s features, one that Osamu’s gotten used to over the past three years. He couldn’t get it out of his head. The same smirk often visited him in his dreams, and every time he woke up, he was just left with a feeling of yearning to see the face that it belonged to.
Osamu rubbed his chin between his thumb and forefinger, tugging a bit too hard to look natural. “Umm, did I ever tell ya ‘bout the time Ma took ‘Tsumu and I to the buffet?”
“I don’t think I’ve heard this one before,” Suna answered with mild surprise. “And, you usually tell me about all your foodie adventures.”
“It was a long time ago, when ‘Tsumu and I were in elementary school. But, it’s still one of my favorite memories.”
“They had so many different kinds of dishes there, more than I could count. I really wanted to try ‘em all, too, ‘cause… Well, ya know me,” Osamu laughed. He felt a smile pull at the corners of his mouth as he revisited the fond memory.
“So, I just put small portions on my plate, li’l by li’l. When I finished that plate, I got back up for more. But, even with my brilliant strategy, I failed at gettin’ to sample everything they had. I was stuffed full of food before I even knew it!”
Suna stood there quietly, listening intently. He was always patient with Osamu, from staying with him until he locked up the gym to always letting him go on and on with his experimental cooking stories without any complaints. Osamu never really noticed it before, how much time Suna spent waiting… for him.
“My point is,” Osamu said with a hand now planted on the nape of his neck. He found himself scratching at the clipped hair of his undercut. “That day at the buffet, it reminds me of ya. Or, I mean, ya remind me of that day at the buffet. Wait, scratch that!”
Osamu took a deep, determined breath, steadying himself. “I’m pretty sure I have feelings for ya. I don’t really know when it started or why, but I know it feels like that day. Li’l by li’l, ya started occupyin’ the space in my heart until it was completely full of just… you. I like you, Rin.”
Suna looked at him with discerning eyes, his head tilted to the side. Lips thinned as he bit on them lightly from the inside. To an outsider, they’d think that he looked cocky and was judging the gray-haired teen that stood before him. But, Osamu knew—he understood—that this was just the face Suna made when he was lost in thought or making an important decision.
“Hmm, that’s interesting,” Suna said after what felt like eons of silence.
“‘Interesting?’” Osamu was holding his breath, but that didn’t stop his parted lips from gaping open. Large, gray eyes glistened with fresh wetness.
“I was wondering when you were going to say something.”
“Wait w-what… What d’ya mean?” Osamu’s breathing came back to him, shallow and rapid.
Suna’s gaze locked onto his, full of understanding. “I’ve noticed this… thing between us. Whatever it is. I’ve felt it for a long time now, and I thought you did, too. But, you never said anything about it, so I never said anything either. So, I get where you’re coming from. I really do, ‘Samu. Because when I fell for you, it was the same thing.”
When I fell for you, Osamu repeated silently to himself. All of a sudden, he was hyperaware of everything. He could feel every breath he took, every pounding beat his heart made in his chest, and the thin layer of sweat forming on his palms.
“I don’t think it was sudden or anything,” Suna continued. “It might have been gradual. I think it might have happened somewhere along the line between those classes we shared or our time on the court together or those weekends you spent hanging out at my house.” The entire time Suna’s eyes never left Osamu’s. They never showed any signs of deception or betrayal.
“It makes sense when you said, ‘Little by little,’ because that’s how it was for me, too, ‘Samu. I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time.”
Osamu didn’t know when Suna had taken the two steps to close the gap between them, but before he could even think about it, he felt soft lips pressed against his own. He was surprised by how smooth they were and by the light hint of vanilla. Osamu was suddenly grateful to Suna’s choice of lip balm.
Kissing Suna was something Osamu couldn’t understand or explain. Part of it felt like a familiar hunger, making him silently plead for more because he couldn’t get enough. The other part made him feel so full, like his chest was about to burst from trying to contain all the feelings he had for him.
In that moment, Osamu had everything he could have ever wanted. But when Suna pulled away, parting their lips, Osamu found himself wanting more, needing more.
“Why don’t you tell your mom you’re spending the night,” Suna suggested as he led Osamu up the short path to his house. A tender smile formed on his lips, one that would visit Osamu in his dreams for many nights.
Osamu laid silently in that soft bed, replaying the events from last night over and over in his head. It was perhaps the happiest moment of his life, but this morning he was full of more dread than he could bear.
Graduation was only a couple months away, and Osamu still hadn’t told anyone, not even his brother, about his plans to stop playing volleyball after high school. Atsumu never said it out loud, but Osamu knew his twin had high expectations of him. Expectations that he couldn’t fill.
There were also rumors that V.League scouts were planning on checking out Suna during the Nationals Tournament. Osamu had finally confessed, and now Suna might end up joining some far away team.
He didn’t know if he could handle losing both Atsumu and Suna so soon.
His thoughts of a dreary future were interrupted when Osamu felt the bed shift. Suna rolled toward him, and an arm snaked around his waist, holding him close.
“You’re awake,” Suna murmured against Osamu’s neck, voice still raspy from sleep.
“Yeah, just thinkin’.”
“What about?”
Osamu remained quiet for a moment, searching for the right words. “Can’t really say yet.” He was thankful his back was facing Suna. He could hide the crease forming between his brows.
But when Suna spoke, all of Osamu’s apprehension simply melted away.
“That’s okay, ‘Samu. I don’t mind waiting.”