Chapter Text
Can't Stand Loosing You
*Disclaimer: I don't own My Hero Academia. No money is made with this, I live off kudos and comments. Enjoy!*
Once upon a time...
Was he really going there? Sighing, Todoroki Shouto looked into the warm flames of the bonfire. No matter how much time had passed, thinking about him still hurt. It hurt so much. The loss itself hurt but the regret might be even worse.
“Come on, Shouto”, a familiar voice next to him called softly. Looking up into a pair of onyx eyes set into a familiar face, Shouto felt himself relaxing a bit. Yaoyorozu Momo had been his friend for half a century now and had earned his trust. He had been cautius about letting her get close to him at first, but in the end, he didn't regret it. It didn't hurt that witches came with immortality too.
Looking back into the flames he had lit himself, Shouto chuckled darkly. “You're not going to let it go, are you, Momo?”
“Not this time. Please, I just want to know what hurt you so much. Maybe I can help?”
Shaking his head, Shouto answered: “No, you can't. But I guess I owe you after sawing me again.”
There was no reply but Shouto understood the silent message anyway. His friend wouldn't press, would let him set the pace and accept what he was willing to tell and what not. Maybe it would help to talk about it? He had never tried it, had never been one to talk about his feelings. Taking a deep breath, Shouto began talking.
~*~
“Once, more or less three hundred years ago, I met a boy... his name was Zuku. We met in the forest where he was collecting firewood. I was in the middle of hunting and he watched how I drained a deer. I didn't notice him until it was too late. But instead of being scared, he was... fascinated? He asked me tons of questions, not even thinking about what I could do to him. It was refreshing to have someone not be scared and try to fight me for once. So I indulged him. We met up again and again, in the forest.
Years passed, Zuku grew older while I didn't age. I thought that I should leave him, that it would hurt if I let myself grow any more attached. But how could I stop visiting when I promised to come back each time? So I came back. Zuku became a teenager and I had to listen to him rant about his first crush, him gushing about some girl he met in the village. At first I didn't understand why I disliked listen to this kind of stories. But as he grew older, I realized that I had not only grown attached but... fallen in love with him.
Despiseable, I know. Falling in love with a human, a young man at that. If Zuku had been a woman, I might've been able to make her part of the coven, start a family with him. But back then, my... Enji had me under his thumb, had taught me that it was wrong and not suiting my status. So I didn't say anything. I told myself that our meetings had to be enough. And they were even though it hurt to watch how fast Zuku grew older while I didn't. Not physically anyway. And then, one day, Zuku told me that he had to go and fight in a war. I don't remember which one it was, there where so many back then. I tried to talk him out of it, but Zuku's never been a coward and wouldn't listen... typical for him, he's always been stubborn...”
After all of that had gotten out of him, rushed past Shouto's lips like a waterfall, the vampire felt rather drained. A tear escaped his eyes, running down his cheek. Not that he cared. It wasn't the first he'd shed over his beloved one's death and certainly wouldn't be the last.
“He never came back from that fight. I eventually went to his village to find him, only to hear that he'd... died on the battle field. It hurt so much I thougth I was going to die. But I still... don't know what hurts more. Loosing him or regretting that I never found the courage to tell him how much I loved him...”
Shouto's voice broke and a strangled sob escaped his lips. It had taken him about a century to realize how much he'd lost thanks to his father's teaching. If he hadn't listen to Enji back then, hadn't cared about societys rules and what other people might think of him, of them, maybe he'd have had a chance with Zuku. But now it was too late, his beloved was long dead and Shouto was still here, still hurting and missing his human.
~*~
“Oh Shouto”, Momo whispered, a hand settling on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. He was grateful for her company but he still wasn't sure if telling her had been a good idea. Staring into the flames, he remembered how Zuku had done something similar whenever he had complained about his father's harsh training, the coldness of their house and the lack of love in his coven. The other had never failed to take his mind off those things, cheering him up and making him laugh each time. Oh Gods, how much he missed him. If only they had met under different circumstances. If only there was a way to get Zuku back.
Looking up at the stars, Shouto begged for the thousandth time, begged for a second chance despite knowing that he wouldn't get one. Life wasn't fair after all.
*End (?)*