Chapter Text
Light, fluffy snow fell from the sky and covered the tiny village, changing it from an autumnal dream to a chilly gingerbread town in just a few hours. It’s entire transformation was watched by a pair of sharp black eyes. Those eyes had watched the village for the whole year. The way it blossomed in spring and warmed in the summer. And then, slowly turned to autumn.
But autumn fell away like an avalanche.
Before Bellatrix knew it, her black eyes were reflecting the white snow instead of the orange autumn leaves. She should’ve been better prepared. She knew it was coming, she could feel the cold sting in the air during her few trips outside. But she didn’t want to believe it. For most people, winter meant snowball fights and holidays and spending time with family. For Bellatrix, winter meant something different. She would sit at her big window and watch the village, just like she always did, watch the people and their families walk up and down the streets, together. She knew that they would go home and maybe watch a movie together, or eat a nice warm meal. She also knew that once the sun had set, and she could only see the twinkly lights of the village, she would have to get up, warm her hot water bottles, and lay beside them - taking in their heat- imagining that she was laying beside a person instead.
But this year, she wasn’t prepared. So, she laid alone and cold in her bed, staring up at her stained glass window. Every year, it felt, to her, that the space in her bed grew larger, and one day, it would become like a large expanse of sea. She envied the people down in the village. The ones that strolled up and down the streets, holding hands, and the ones that sat on park benches together, and talked about things. She could barely even remember a time where she hadn’t been alone in her bed. It would be so easy, she knew, to just stroll down to the village and talk to someone, maybe even go on a date with them. And she used to have someone like that. There was someone who was curious about her, a young girl, maybe about twenty-five - too young for Bellatrix. They had met two winters before, when Bellatrix had taken a chance, and walked down to the village. She still thought about the girl; her fluffy hair, her brown eyes, the feeling of her lips. She could still hear the girl’s last three words to her;
“I love you.” That was all the girl said. And Bellatrix didn’t say it back. Who was she to be in love with this girl? She hadn’t been in love before. But some days she wondered what her life would be like if she said it too. If she told the girl how much she was loved. She wondered what the girl was doing at that moment, was she too lying in a cold bed, or did she have someone next to her? She selfishly wished it was the former. But then, Bellatrix imagined the girl in the same position that she was; sad, and cold, because she forgot to pull out her hot water bottles, and that made her feel even worse. Bellatrix got out of bed and walked over to her large window, clutching her dressing gown tightly around her middle.
She could barely see the girl’s house from the window. Only the dark outline of the chimney was visible. A small stream of smoke rose out of it. She must have her fire on. Of course. Bellatrix walked back to her bed. She was silently cursing herself to even imagine that the girl was cold and still thinking of her when another thought came to her head. The girl wouldn’t have the fire on if she was sleeping. But, it was thirty minutes to midnight, and the girl had a very important office job. So what was she doing awake? Could she be sitting in front of the hearth, thinking longingly of Bellatrix? The dark-eyed woman entertained this idea for a moment; the idea that someone could be needing her as much as she needed other people. But the idea was quickly crushed as another possible scenario arose in Bellatrix’s head. The girl could have a lover at her house, keeping her warm as the snow fell down from the sky. This idea, though Bellatrix’s least liked, was the most plausible; there were many attractive people - both internally and physically - in the village, and the girl was definitely the most beautiful of them all, which probably made it very easy for her to get dates. Bellatrix rolled onto her side and wrapped her arms around herself. This was how it was meant to be. She abandoned her sisters and had no friends. So, it only made sense to her that she was still alone. Her fiftieth birthday was quickly approaching, and nobody in the village would love her at that age - especially not the girl that she truly loved. And even if she was younger, she was the most insufferable person in the world.
The clock struck midnight. Bellatrix’s father’s words came back to her.
Ding. She was a disgrace to the family.
Ding. No one would ever truly love her.
Ding. She was unwanted.
Ding. And unlovable.
Ding. Dong. Ding
Bellatrix’s last thought before she drifted off to sleep was how terrified she was of being alone forever.
The golden rays of morning sunlight turned red and green and yellow as they hit Bellatrix’s stained glass window. The sleeping woman stirred and opened her eyes. She stared at the rays of colourful light reflected throughout her room. Her stained glass windows were her favourite part of her house, but the one in her bedroom was the most beautiful. It had a massive red flower in the middle, with a bunch of green and yellow leaves around it. It was the most colourful thing in the entire house, and it made Bellatrix the happiest. She stared at the window until the sun had risen too high for the light to shine through, and then she got up out of bed and walked to the kitchen. She put two pieces of bread in the toaster, before walking down to her basement.
She crouched down next to a large box in search of her hot water bottles. After various pairs of socks, many thick blankets, a metal music box that played jingle bells, and five tea cosies had been pulled out, the hot water bottles were revealed - laying at the bottom of the box - a small layer of dust clinging to the soft covers. Bellatrix brought all the contents of the box upstairs - deciding that they might all prove to be useful - and dumped them onto her sofa. She abandoned the items for a second to take her toast out of the toaster and put some strawberry jelly on the two pieces. She ate the toast while staring at the pile of winter items. After her breakfast was all gone, she picked up the hot water bottles and brought them to the sink. The soft grey one filled up quickly - as it was small - and Bellatrix placed it on the counter. The dark blue one filled up less quickly, as it was larger, and she placed it next to the grey one once it was done. She finally picked up the green one, the largest one of them all, and the one that kept her the warmest at night. She placed it under the tap and waited for it to fill up. But it didn’t fill. She adjusted the position of her hands and felt a steady stream of water flowing out of the side. After shutting the water off, she flipped the hot water bottle over and saw a large tear.
“How the hell …?” Bellatrix groaned, turning back to the pile of winter items. Her eye was caught by the metal music box. “Ugh.” Well, she couldn’t go another cold night, and the two smaller hot water bottles weren’t enough for her, so she would -unfortunately - have to go get a new one.
Bellatrix slid her faux fur lined boots onto her feet. Then, she closed the clasps of her coat and picked up her bag.
The village was a five minute walk down the hill. Bellatrix’s boots sunk into the newly fallen snow as she travelled. The second she stepped onto the cobblestone road, she felt a strong feeling of nostalgia. She had arrived right next to the ice cream parlour that she visited with the girl two years before. The street hadn’t changed since that day. Bellatrix took the same path that the two of them had taken. By the park, and then the animal rescue, and the library, and a few bookstores, and then, next to the last bookstore, the store that she had bought her other hot water bottles from. A silver bell tinkled above her head.
“Hello!” A blonde-haired woman smiled.
“Good morning.” Bellatrix said.
“Would you like any help finding anything?” The woman asked.
“No, just browsing.” Bellatrix said, before walking past the woman. She tried to remember where the hot water bottles were. She walked past some clocks and found the aisle with heating pads and hot water bottles. She picked up a few before finding a large, fluffy red one. That would do. She bought it and left the store. As she was about to leave the village, she stopped to look at the ice cream parlour. It couldn’t hurt, right?